"Hahaha...HA HA HAHAHA!" Dan laughed as he ran through the dark streets of a Ponyville at night. All he needed was a shovel or something to dig with, easy enough to find and he would dig up the body of Rice's son. After that... he didn't know. He wasn't really thinking straight, or stable at that moment, but he would figure things out. Yes, after he got revenge, THEN he would figure things out, THEN he would be stable and sane again. That made sense, didn't it?
Yes. Yes, of course it did. Rice was the enemy. He had tried to murder Dan and his friends, tried to blow up the planets they lived on multiple times. Nearly succeeded, too, but Dan had stopped him. Now, he was out there, and he would come back unless Dan did something. Nothing was off-limits. He would defile Rice's son's grave and taunt Rice with it, maybe bulldoze the gravestone. Whatever it took to piss Rice off, to even the score.
Maybe even Rice would get so mad that he would attack Dan sooner. Then, Dan could kill Rice, or hopefully capture and torture and then kill Rice under the pretense of self-defense. Self-defense was a perfectly logical justification for torturing someone. At least, it was to Dan at that moment. He wasn't really thinking straight, or thinking that much at all, which might've explained at least some of his irrationality.
Usually, Dan wouldn't bother digging up the corpse of a hated enemy's family member, no matter how much it despised them. It was pointless. Holding live hostages was far more effective at gaining leverage and honestly, Dan could skip all the work and just pretend he dug up Rice Jr. and the word would reach him. Same result, a lot less work. But Dan's lust for proper vengeance was holding the reins of his mind at that moment, and it wouldn't let go.
"Haha... ha ha ha ha..." he chuckled to himself as he ran through the night. "The power plant," he said aloud to no one, "they probably have shovels there." They don't. "Power plants need to dig things." Nope. "They'll have shovels and pick axes and..." Probably not. "And trowels! I've never used a trowel to dig something before! This will be new!"
Dan did not even know what a trowel was. A trowel, or hand-shovel, is a tool primarily used in gardening and landscaping to dig small holes for planting. It is part of lawn and garden maintenance and not used to dig graves. Not deep ones, anyway.
He was almost to the dam. He could see it from the outskirts, but something was wrong. It was lit up, all the lights were on. And there were ponies gathered around the front of it. They weren't there for Dan, either.
"Well, thank goodness you were here. I think it's safe to say that if you hadn't stopped that ghost, why, the whole town could've been without power for weeks!"
Dan came to a halt. "What the hell is this?" He wasn't close enough to the crowd to be heard.
"It was pretty tricky, but thanks to Spidey here, we took out those spooky specters without hurting Ponyville's power grid," Scootaloo said.
It was the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Except, they weren't they were the Cutie Mark Ghostbusters. The CMG. They were wearing their Ghostbusters costumes and equipment from the Christmas episode. Only they weren't costumes. On top of that, someone was with them.
"Is that fucking Spider-Man?"
"Man, talk about ghosts in the electrical system, right? That's a whole new take on phantom power."
Spidey's comment drew laughter from the crowd. Photographers- the non-stalker variety, were taking pictures of the CMG and Spider-Man. The manager of the power plant, a mustached pony named Ohm Field, congratulated all five of them. Ghostbusters teams worked in quartets, so Babs Seed was added to the group.
"Thank you too, Spider-man, for your timely assistance."
Spidey shook the pony's hoof heartily. "Eh, that's what I'm here for. But even I have to call the professionals sometimes."
"And he knows who to call!" Sweetie Belle added. More laughter, applause and cheers from the crowd.
"HEY! Who the hell's show is this?!" Dan exclaimed. But no one heard him, or if they did, they didn't pay any attention. They were too busy wrapped up in the spectacle of the Cutie Mark Ghostbusters having busted a pair of pesky poltergeists at the power plant with the help of Spider-Man.
Applebloom held up a steaming ghost trap, still hot and fresh with the contained ghoul safely inside. "Eeyup! Ponyville doesn't need to worry about the lights going out while we're around!"
"That's another reason to pay your power bill, folks."
Dan was dumbfounded. Heroic antics, witty banter, celebrations and fighting ghosts? Was there another show going on at the same time his was?!?!
"Anyway, don't let me keep you folks up. Remember, no matter what kind of powers someone has, the REAL power comes from team work. Until next time, gang!" And with that, Spidey jumped off the damn, caught a streetlamp with one of his webs and swung low enough to skim the water in the river. He swung from lamp, to street corner to roof top until he disappeared. The crowd watched every bit of Spidey's web-slinging action; a chance to see the real Spider-Man was something to see.
"So now SPIDER-MAN IS HERE?!?!" Dan yelled. "And the CMC are Ghostbusters?! That's... WHY? I WANT TO BUST GHOSTS!!"
The crowd quickly dispersed. The CMC were given a medal, special thanks from the Equestria Power and Lighting Company and a gift certificate valid at any participating Outback Steakhouse good for fifty percent off their meal(of a purchase of thirty bits or more including entree.)
"Wait, wait a minute, stop," Dan grabbed hold of Applebloom.
"Oh, hey Dan!"
"Hi Dan," the CMC went, simultaneously and in the most adorable vocal harmony ever.
"What was that all about? Did you just- did you ACTUALLY bust ghosts at the power plant?"
"Haha, sure did!" Sweetie Belle said.
"We'll tell ya all about it Dan, but later," Babs said. "We've got to get the trap back to the protection grid pretty quick. Don't want these guys to get out again."
"But... but I..."
"Later, Dan!" They hopped on four matching Ghostbusters-themed scooters and zipped away. The scooters had sirens that sounded exactly like the one on the famous Ecto-1.
"Dammit that's... that's not fair," Dan whined. "I wanted to be a Ghostbuster! I STILL DO! WHY DON'T I GET TO BUST GHOSTS?!" Probably the ultimate 80s fantasy for any fan of the 80s, being an actual Ghostbuster was a dream for many, including Dan. Yes, Dan had saved Equestria on multiple occasions, fought wars, fought giant robots, traveled across the globe, flown into space, traveled to parallel dimensions, saved Earth, his friends and pretty much everyone on two planets from almost certain destruction but busting ghosts was STILL really, really freaking cool.
And now Spider-Man was part of Equestria. Actually, he had been part of Equestria for quite some time now. The CMC, now the CMG, were on their own separate quest that involved their own cast of characters, strange faces, weird cases, epic battles and far-out places much like Dan. The only difference was that Dan's quest was seemingly done and theirs was still just beginning.
The CMG had formed shortly after Christmas but things really ramped up after Dan rescued them. When Equestria's core was exposed, it caused ripples in the dimensional fabric, but the things that came through hadn't been obvious. Ghosts had infiltrated Equestria as well, and the CMG had stepped up to the plate to stop them. They even had regular contact with Ray, Egon, Peter and Winston, the original Ghostbusters who called them through a communicator in their treehouse, now a tree fort.
Wait, Dan thought, "The CMG! They can help me bust Rice's son's ghost!" he said. And then, he continued thinking. "But then... what would I do with it? What could I..." He was beginning to feel sick. "Oh gawd." And hurled off the side of the dam.
He wiped his mouth and got off the railing. Alone again in the dark. Spike wasn't following him, but he knew the dragon always had a direct link to Twilight and the princesses. Dragon breath magic was not common in Equestria; only Twilight's family and the ancient Starswirl were known to practice incineration-rematerialization. Twilight cutely referred to the process as in-cinders messaging.
Okay, focus. Diggin' up bodies. He went down into the power plant. He'd been there a few times and was beginning to get to know his way around. Unfortunately, no shovels. The Ponyville Power Plant stowed its equipment pretty well when it wasn't in use, contrary to most industrial sites Dan was familiar with on Earth. Back in California, Dan could totally-legally enter just about any hard hat area and make off with a few tools. Here, thanks to his own promotion of safety and security throughout the kingdom, all materials related to work were looked up pretty tightly.
In fact, if he tried to blow up a supply closet, it might cause damage to the dam, making it very much not worth it. Dan had had a profound impact on Equestria, and surprisingly, it had been beneficial. Ponies had embraced most of Dan's ideas, and Dan had embraced the ponies, but he wasn't the only one there. There were other heroes, including the CMG and Spider-Man. Just as things were on Earth, it took all kinds.
After about ten minutes, Dan gave up searching for the power plant and went straight to the graveyard.
"Rrrr... Errrraaaggg..." Dan growled relentlessly. Nothing else mattered but revenge. He was angry, angrier than ever and it gave him focus. His fists were balled but he'd already shouted Rice's name, so what was the point of shouting it again? No, he needed to find Rice's son's grave. He would dig it up with his bare hands if he had to.
Behind him, a train was arriving at Ponyville, a late night freight delivery. Most ponies didn't know what was on that train, but Dan did. He had ordered it.