//------------------------------//
// Easily The Worst [Comedy] 
// Story: Another Speedwriting Anthology 
// by Decaf 
//------------------------------//

"This has got to be the second or third worst contest I've ever heard of," said Twilight.

"It's great!" said Rainbow Dash. "All you have to do is plant the most weeds and you'll win!"

"But why would you plant weeds? Aren't you supposed to get rid of them?"

"Not all types of weed. Some are good."

"Really? And what are these good weeds that you're referring to?"

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a long look.

"You really don't know?" she asked.

"It's not even a good botanical skill," said Twilight. "Planting as many seeds as possible isn't even how gardening is done. You need to do a little bit of work every day to cultivate something great. Focusing on quantity over quality has got to engender some bad habits."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the fastest."

"Sometimes, being fast isn't good."

Rainbow felt like someone had just insulted her entire family tree.

"You just don't understand the visceral joy of speed," said Rainbow, using a word she had just learned from A Filly's Guide to the Wonderbolts. "There's a thrill in plunging headfirst into danger, not knowing what the next step will bring."

"I mean, it's probably fun, but does it actually help you  grow?"

"It helps the weeds grow."

"But that's not what I meant!" Twilight stamped her hoof. "If you just worry about winning contests and being the fastest, then you'll lose sight of what's important."

"What could possibly be more important than being the best?"

"There's more than one way to be the best. You might be the best at doing a good job, while someone else is the fastest."

"But you should be both. That's two bests, Twilight, which is better than one. It's simple math."

"Not everyone can be the best at everything all the time!"

"Don't you know who you're talking to?'

Twilight smiled. "How long does it take you to read a book?"

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck. It was a bit of a sore subject.

Twilight didn't wait for a response. "It doesn't matter how slow you read, as long as you don't stop. That's the right attitude to have."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," said Rainbow. "Anyway, the important thing is that I beat Applejack."

Twilight groaned. "Of course. It's always about being better than AJ with you, isn't it?"

Rainbow nodded, not noticing the sarcasm. "It's very serious business. I'm only competing because I knew she would."

Twilight furrowed her brow. "But I--"

"There you are!" said Applejack, trotting over to the two of them. "I hope you're ready to eat dirt."

"I am. How else do you expect me to get all that planting done?"

"You can't win a gardening contest against me," said Applejack. "You know what I do for a living, right?"

"If you're so good at it, then why haven't you competed before?" asked Rainbow.

"I heard you were going to try, and I couldn't let that stand."

Twilight scratched her head. "Wait a minute…"

"Fluttershy knows talent when she sees it," said Rainbow. "I'll definitely win."

"Wait, Fluttershy's hosting?" asked Twilight.

Rainbow nodded. "She was going to hire some help to get these weeds planted around her cottage, but Tree Hugger gave her the awesome idea to make it a contest."

"And Fluttershy wants these weeds growing all over her yard?"

"They're mighty fine weeds, Twi," said Applejack. "High quality stuff."

"But weeds aren't… I think the main point is that one of you is going to do all her yard work for free."

Applejack shook her head. "Nope. Everypony is doing it for free. The reward for first place is the satisfaction of a job well done."

"But then why… why would you… what is happening?" Twilight looked like her head might explode.

"We've got a contest to get to," said Applejack. She trotted away.

Rainbow smiled. "I've got a need for speed to plant some weed, Twilight."

Then Rainbow Dash flew off to the weed planting contest. She had a nasty cough the entire time she worked.