//------------------------------// // Third Meeting // Story: Adagio's Evil Council of Doom // by Dawn Flower //------------------------------// Somewhere in… a place that was definitely not the Badlands… Inside a small hotel room, several of the most powerful beings in Equestria and beyond… and others sat around… the room. “Personally, I think they jumped the shark in the third game,” Chrysalis said to everyone else in the room that was a part of the conversation. “I mean, as interesting as the concept of rewriting the universe is, it just feels a bit much after they went on an adventure to create a new world.” “Heh,” came a sound from a turquoise coloured pegasus. “Your opinions are so amusing.” She drawled sarcastically. “Yeah, they amuse us,” a female griffon added on. “Because they are so very wrong,” The pegasus continued. “I’m talking ‘The Mysterious Mare Do Well’ wrong,” the griffon added. “The remaking of the universe was exceptional. You just didn’t get it.” “Well then, don’t even get me started on the second game,” Chrysalis spoke up again. “I mean, come; time travel? What kind of deus ex machina bullshitery is that? Changing the future to change the past? That’s not even how time travel works.” “The time travel was also exceptional,” the pegasus told her. “You just didn’t get it.” “You’re so slow.” “I like Snow,” Tirek suddenly chimed in. “Yes, Snow is very much win,” Chrysalis agreed. “Unlike Vanille, who should have just been shot in the face.” “No, you are all wrong,” Thrackerzod popped up between them. “The Final Fantasy XIII trilogy games are all completely bad and a waste of valuable time and resources. Square should be focusing all of their efforts on the games that their fanbase actually wants. Consumerism is the right path towards everything.” “As long as Snow is with Serah, I don’t care,” Tirek added. “Silence!” Adagio screamed out, finally having gotten everyone together, and ready to begin the meeting. “Yes, silence!” The pegasus took over. “Everyone bow down to your new rulers.” “Yeah, bow on down, guys,” the griffon added. “Hey!” Adagio screamed out again, trying to regain control of the situation. “What part of silence don’t you understand?” “The part where you apologize to us for having such a horrible attitude,” The pegasus answered immediately. “Yeah, that part,” the griffon concluded. Adagio was, in all honesty, surprised by her reaction. “Oh,” she said, her previous annoyed expression gone. “Well, uhhmm,” she stuttered. “I’m sorry?” It sounded more like a question than an apology, since she wasn’t exactly used to giving them. “That’s much better,” the pegasus spoke, not visibly annoyed at all. “Now then, please continue with your speech.” “Your lame speech,” the griffon added. “A-alright then,” Adagio spoke up, still a little unsure. “Well, as I was saying, uhhmm… Silence!” “Adagio, nobody was saying anything,” Chrysalis said to her. “It was a pre-emptive silence!” Adagio defended. “Oh,” Chrysalis started. “So, you silenced the silence? Good job.” “Yes, that silence didn’t know what hit it.” She spoke with pride. “Now then, I would like to call the third meeting of Adagio’s Evil Council of Doom to order.” “Before we go any further, can I ask why we’re holding this meeting in California?” Chrysalis asked. “Well, our original hideout was destroyed last Hearths Warming and we needed a change of scenery,” Adagio admitted. “I figured that this was as good a place as any.” She said with a smile and a wave of her hand. Chrysalis couldn’t hold back her groan. “Adagio, this place is home to that local brony convention, BABSCon. We’re hardly inconspicuous.” Adagio’s smile just turned into a knowing smirk. “Precisely. It’s perfect; we’re hiding in plain sight. Everyone will just assume we’re cosplayers.” Chrysalis sighed. “Oh, come on. Even we’re not that evil.” “By the way, Chrysalis, your costume could use some work,” Adagio said. Chrysalis’ eyes went wide in confusion. “What?!” “Well I don’t mean to criticise, but it looks like your mother made that for you,” Adagio continued. Chrysalis struggled to find the words because she literally couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had to hold her hoof up to her head before she could respond. “I… This isn’t a costume, Adagio. It’s my real form.” “Well, you could have done a better job is all I’m saying.” Chrysalis facehooved. “A better job of what?!” She screamed at her. “Are we actually going to defeat Twilight Sparkle this time,” Discord finally chimed in, who had placed dibs on the bed. “Or are we just going to prattle on and on about the habits of Bronies? Because I know which I’d rather do,” he said with an arrogant smile. In the corner, Sonata couldn’t help but giggle. “Hehehehe, ‘do’.” “I was just getting to that, Discord!” Adagio yelled at him. “First, I would like to introduce our newest members.” Gesturing towards the pegasus and griffon, she continued. “May I present, Lightning Dust and Gilda. They are both villains of the highest calibre.” Lightning Dust smiled to herself. “You’d best check yourself before you wreck yourself.” “Yeah, what she said,” Gilda added, gesturing to Lightning Dust beside her. “Also joining us,” Adagio continued. “Is famous voice actress, Tara Strong.” The door to the hotel room then opened up and Tara Strong entered. “Hey, I’m Tara Strong,” she said. “What the hell is she doing here? She’s not a villain!” Chrysalis exclaimed. “No,” Tara Strong admitted. “But I did play a villain in the animated Batman series.” “That was a good series,” Adagio chimed in. “Yes,” Tara Strong responded simply. “Yes it is.” “Hey, is Bruce Wayne a dick in real life?” Adagio asked. “Adagio?” Chrysalis interrupted. “You had an evil plan to discuss…?” Adagio blinked. “What? Evil plan? What are you talking about?” “Adagio!” Chrysalis stretched her name for as long as possible to show her just how not-in-the-mood she was for the siren’s admittedly worsening antics lately. Adagio caught on to what she meant. “Oh, yes. That plan,” she said blankly. Taking a breath to regain her composure, and enter her usual state of mind, she then smirked devilishly. “Now then, I have concocted a plan so evil, that by comparison, it will make Chrysalis look like a harmless filly. Even more than she already does.” “Not a pony.” Chrysalis stated harshly. “We are going to find Twilight Sparkle,” Adagio started to explain her plan. “And we are going to ask very politely, with no evil intent, if we can borrow Star Swirl the Bearded’s journal, which she used to become an alicorn. If we act nicely to her, then she will have no grounds to attack us.” Adagio grinned at the fullproofness of her plan. “And then when she gives it to us, we don’t give it back to her…” “Look Adagio, as much as I like this plan…” Chrysalis tried to interject. “For at least another two months,” Adagio concluded. Chrysalis froze. After about five seconds, she just sighed. “Okay, forget what I just said.” “Why would you want to give it back to her?” Discord asked. “That’s like the best part,” Adagio answered. “We’ll say something like, ‘I’ll give it back to you next Tuesday’, but then she won’t see it for like another seventy-five days.” Adagio crinkled her fingers together, with a smirk on her face. “She’ll be so friggin’ anxious. Her anxiety levels will be off the charts.” Aria just sighed at that. “That plan is stupid.” “Yeah, it is. For realsies.” Sonata agreed. Adagio immediately shot the two of them a glare. “Oh, what do you two know? You’re just a bunch of carbon copies of me.” At that, Aria just flicked her hair at her, derisively, with a bored look on her face. “At least I haven’t become progressively stupider since we started this council.” Adagio simply crossed her arms, closed her eyes, and sat back in her seat, which was really more of a footstool. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She replied calmly. “In Cloudsdale, our evil plans are far greater than your pathetic surface plans,” Lightning Dust suddenly spoke up. “Yeah, our plans are at least ten times better,” Gilda added. “For example, we shall capture Twilight Sparkle, take her to the darkest corner of the weather factory, and then burn her in a pool of liquid rainbows until she screams for her uncle.” “And her uncle hasn’t even had an appearance in the show yet,” Gilda added. “Which means that he will be way too weak to save her.” “Yes,” Lightning Dust continued. “She will scream for her uncle that will never arrive, making her burning in the rainbows last even longer.” At this point, Adagio was fuming. “How many times do I have to tell you people?!” She screamed angrily. “There will be no rainbows!” She, the other Dazzlings, and Tirek all suddenly shivered. “Especially after what happened to ‘Bob’.” She added. “Don’t worry,” Lightning Dust said. “He still lives on in the Chaos.” Adagio growled loudly again. “And no more Final Fantasy references!” “Very well,” Lightning Dust conceded. “But I will never be a memory,” she added with a smile. Adagio just lowered her head into her hands and growled again. --- Meanwhile, over… here. Sunset Shimmer stood in front of her two bumbling minions, on a small platform, one step above them, but this time, with a much more confident tone about her. “Mah fwiends, it is good to see you again,” She spoke up, in a ridiculous sounding Cajun accent. Snips, who was kneeling down in front of her, alongside his friend, Snails, looked on at his Princess in confusion after hearing her new voice. He briefly looked over at his friend before facing Sunset Shimmer again. “Uhhmm, Princess. Are you… feeling alright?” He asked her, worriedly. “Oh yeah, mayn, I feel gweat,” she responded immediately. “A while ago, I was on the internet, looking for tips on how to wun an evil council, when I found dis guy on YouTube who’s got his own evil council; and now I can’t stop sounding wike him!” She then closed her eyes calmly for a second. “But it’s cool, mayn, because now I know how we can defeat Adagio!” Snips immediately brightened up again. “Well, alright then. Then tell us, Princess, so that we may do your bidding.” “Vewy well,” Sunset spoke. “There is only one way that we can defeat Adagio!” She paused for dramatic effect. “We will deoo her!” She announced. The room was immediately met with an uncomfortable silence from both of her minions. “Uhh,” Snips started. “Did you say, ‘do her’?” “I said deoo here!” Sunset repeated. “What part of ‘deoo her’ don’t you understand, dooshbag?! We’re gonna deoo her! Together! All thwee of us, we gonna deoo her! Deoo her so hard and thowowowy! Deoo her so hard dat she will feel it in the mo’ning when she wakes up!” Snips was still looking at her in confusion. “Uhhmm, Princess, are you serious?” “Yes, you asshole,” Sunset responded loudly. “What? You want me to deoo you too?” Snips’ mind went blank. “Uhhmm… I’m… not sure.” “Then keep yo mouth shut, mayn. Okay, mayn? Yeah,” Sunset responded, briefly closing her eyes again. “So, we gonna deoo her… with swords.” “Wouldn’t that be kind of… bloody?” Snails asked. “What the EFF you talkin’ about, mayn?” Sunset asked. “Yeah, I don’t wanna do any anybody with a sword…” “Deoo!” Sunset interrupted him. “Are you saying ‘do’, or ‘duel’?” Snips asked. “DEOO!” Sunset repeated, even louder this time. Snips and Snails both just gave each other a quick look before Snips responded. “So you want us to do Adagio?” “Yes!” Sunset clarified. “And I will stand here and watch you deoo her!” Snips just let out a quick sigh before responding. “Well alright then.” He then turned to face Snails as he got back up to his feet. “Come on, Snails. Let’s… go do Adagio… I guess.” “Deoo her, dooshbags!” Sunset Shimmer shouted one last time as they left. “Thowowowy!” --- “So,” Adagio spoke up. “Which one of us will ask Twilight to hand over Star Swirl’s journal?” “As our newest member, I nominate Tara Strong,” Chrysalis said. “Hi,” Tara Strong chimed in. Adagio brought her finger to her lips in thought. “Interesting choice, Chrysalis.” “Yes, well, I thought that if anybody should show you how ridiculous your plan is, it should be the most inappropriate member of our team.” “Fly, Tara Strong!” Adagio suddenly shouted out in a very hammy tone, with her eyes shut and her clenched fist raised towards the ceiling. “Fly away and take the very object of the Princess’ ascension away from her! Fly towards victory!” Tara Strong simply stared back at her and blinked. “Okay, I guess I should be fine. I just hope I don’t create a paradox.” Discord suddenly laughed a little. “Why do you think I’m not downstairs with John?” --- “Hello there, I’m Tara Strong,” Tara Strong said to the very pony that she voices every week, standing right in front of her. “You might remember me from such roles as, half your freaking childhood.” “Uhhmm, okay?” Twilight spoke nervously. “Uhh,” she started talking, while looking from side to side. “Can I help you with something?” Uh oh, Tara Strong thought. I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing. Come on, Tara, think. Uhh… She just stood there for about ten seconds, without saying anything before she thought of something. Hmm, I know. I’ll just spout off one of my random catchphrases. That usually works. “What could possibly go wrong?!” Tara Strong suddenly shouted out, with an awkward smile on her face. Twilight took a small step back in confusion. “Uhhmm… I don’t… know?” She spoke slowly, having no idea what was going on. “Uhmm, is that all?” “Uhhmm, yes,” Tara Strong spoke, also slowly. “I think so.” --- “It didn’t work!” Adagio shouted out. “Personally, I am shocked,” Chrysalis added, in a sarcastic manner. Adagio then pointed an accusatory finger at Tara Strong. “Tara Strong, you are a most disappointing villain!” Suddenly, the door to the hotel room opened out slowly. When everyone turned to see who was there, they saw the Joker, standing there in the doorway. “I can vouch for that.” With an annoyed look on her face, Adagio walked over to the Joker, grabbing the door when she reached him. “Get out of here! This council is for Friendship is Magic villains only!” She then slammed the door hard in his face. Adagio turned to go back to her seat, when suddenly, the door was thrown open again. “Okay, everybody, hold it!” Snails shouted out, bringing his foot back down from having kicked in the door. “We’re here on behalf of Sunset Shimmer,” Snips said as he walked into the room, with his arms crossed. Seeing the two new guys barge into the room, Adagio’s started grinding her teeth in anger. “How are all of these nerds breaking in?!” She shouted out. “Well, this is a brony convention,” Chrysalis answered. Hearing Chrysalis’ comment, Adagio just rolled her eyes at her, before facing the two boys again. “What the EFF do you guys want?” “We’re here to deliver a message from our Princess,” Snails said. “Yes.” Snips took over. “Apparently we have to… do you.” “Do me?!” Adagio shouted out immediately. “Yeah, it’s… kinda weird,” Snips said, while he scratched at the back of his head. Adagio then stood up straighter, placing her hands on her hips. “It’s also never gonna happen because I’m not a slut.” This earned her a huge bout of laughter from the entire room. “What?” Adagio asked, confused. “Come on, Adagio. We all know,” Chrysalis said. “Yeah, we know,” Tirek added. “We all know,” Discord continued. “We definitely know,” Aria added on. Adagio was now steaming, squeezing her eyes and fists tightly. “Oh, what, just because I have very nice body language, with hips that sway sensually every time I walk, like to touch everyone I meet in a really inappropriate way, spend over a thousand years with two girls that we never conclusively prove that I’m related to, and smirk suggestively in literally every scene, that automatically makes me a slut?” *Beat* “Kinda,” Chrysalis responded. “Yeah, kinda,” Tirek added. “Yes,” even Thrackerzod joined in. “Ughh,” Adagio grunted, putting her hands to her head. “You’re all pricks.” Chrysalis smiled teasingly at that. “Well, no wonder you like us so much.” “Aaahhh!” Adagio screamed out. “I’m telling you, I’m not a slut! Honestly.” *Beat* “So can we do you now?” Snips asked. “Get out of my hotel room!”