Well. That was a bitch and a half. Yharim didn't even tell me what I was supposed to do in Camelot, just that the bitchslave would be waiting for me. So now I'm here.
And apparently some kinda Flim-Flam Brothers ripoff decided to stalk me most of the way. I can hear them behind me.
"Excuse us, pony. But are you in fact... well... the real deal?"
I don't want to talk to you, you bucking assholes...
"Want me to shit on your wagon to prove I exist? Just ask."
Look, I don't have the patience to come up with amazing one-liners right now. Deal with the fourth-grade insults.
"Oh, she’s rather rude. Wouldn’t you say, dear brother of mine?"
"Why yes, dear brother of mine. Perhaps she’d show us more respect if she knew who we were?"
Oh for buck's sake....
"I already know you, dumbasses... You're the Flim-Flam Brothers, also known as a pain in my plot. So if you wouldn't mind, BUCK OFF."
I doubt they'll get the idea... nope, now they left their wagon. Wonder what they're planning.
"Well then, I think we can just skip the charades. Eh, dear brother of mine?"
"Why yes, dear brother of mine. I think she’d sell for a handsome amount."
Oh really now? You think I'll sell? No, what am I saying, of course they do.
Doesn't mean I'll let you.
"You’re coming with us, pony."
"She’d undoubtedly sell for so much money, dear brother of mine. We’d probably even get fifty platinum pieces for her. Ponies are incredibly rare nowadays."
On the other hoof, though killing them would be nice and probably release some anger... Why not do something else... I may be a Guardian of the Light, but even I have to submit to darkness occasionally. Better these motherbuckers than an innocent...
May as well see if my acting has gotten rusty before I give them their free tour of why you don't buck with a GrimDark. Heheheheheh...
"P-Please don't hurt me... I-I'm just having a bad d-day! I c-can't defend m-myself! I'm s-sorry for being s-so mean!"
Nice, nailed the fake tears and stuttering! This mare's still got it. Love playing the cute, fluffy, innocent act.
"Too bad, pony. You’re nothing but our retirement funds now."
"Now then, be a good little pink pony and get your flank into the wagon... Move it!"
"A-Ah! P-Please don't! I'll g-get in!"
"Do as we say and the worse that could happen to you is that you end up with a master who’ll turn you into glue. Oops, well, I never said that we’d do anything to ya. Aside from selling your sorry ass, that is. Now get in."
Heheh... Tough talk for someone who's going to die in agony.
Ugh, my head...
"P-please, I j-just want to g-go ho-"
"I said get in! What are ya, a pony or a donkey? Idiot! Flam, I’ll keep our little friend here quiet while you drive us to the warehouse. Thanks to our ‘totally legit’ business history, no one should question us."
You're going to regret saying that.
Mother of the GrimDark, what's with this headache all of a sudden... It keeps getting worse.
"Sounds good to me, dear brother of mine."
The bucker just pushed me. Damnit, I know what's happening, and with the Light Goddess gone, I can't stop it!
Grrr... Whoever's watching me, I see you..., you need to make sure you diediediediediediediestay away from me! If I don't come back nocomingbacknevercomingback to my senses, you need to ask me 'Does the Black Moon mysoulmyspiritmylifeallgonegonegonegone howl'! It'll let you figure out if I'm okay!
Good luck. Heheheheheheh...
The doors close, leaving Flam and Mena alone. Flam covers up the pony's snout, halting any sound from emerging, while also keeping his sword against her neck.
Mena has stopped moving, and her eyes appear to be an even icier blue than normal, though something seems strange. A patch of crimson coloration appears to be spreading very slowly through her pupil.
Flam keeps his grip on the pony, as the wagon begins moving, the sounds of horseshoes emanating through the air. Nothing is on his mind other than selling the pony for a hefty price. He believes he can get 100 Platinum if he pretends this pony is a rare variety, despite knowing nothing about ponies in general.
Mena continues staying still as the air is growing slightly colder. The crimson coloration in her pupil has overtaken it, leaving only a ring of light blue, like a solar eclipse. Flam does not notice.
A few minutes later, the wagon bumps over a small pile of rocks. Flam is distracted, sharpening his silver shortsword, which emits loud screeching, like rusty metal hinges. He hears a box fall and rushes to it to make sure it isn't damaged. Mena's head has turned towards him, giving him only an expressionless stare.
Flam finishes checking his merchandise and grabs a new sharpening stone, continuing his mission to sharpen the shortsword. He realizes that the pony has been staring at him for approximately five minutes. He glares at her.
"What's the matter? Too uncomfortable for ya? Well, unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with it. Until you're sold, of course."
He gets no response and grunts, looking away. He can't help but feel uneasy. For a pony that was begging for her life earlier, she certainly was quiet now. Too quiet... He realizes his legs are bound and the pony is directly in front of him, brandishing the supposedly legendary Vampire Knives, still with that same emotionless expression.
He looks a bit nervous as he clears his throat.
"What exactly do you think you're doing?"
He is slowly bringing out his silver shortsword, only to find it on the opposite side of the wagon and his hands bound.
"W-Wait now! Perhaps I could offer you a partnership with our business? It is very lucrative, I assure you!"
The expressionless pony stares at him, Vampire Knives at the ready. She says nothing as she begins her cutting, stifling his cries of pain with a hoof.
She starts off with his arms, making long, straight cuts along the upper area of the limb. It's a tradition she uses for every new victim, marking them to let them know their number has finally come up. Flam writhes in pain, unable to move his arms any longer.
The pony next carves her own cutie mark into his neck, forever enlaying his fate into his flesh. With the second part of the marking process complete, she stares emotionally at his face, punching him flat with her front hoof.
Though Flam does his best to alert his brother of his plight, the pony still has her hoof in his mouth. However, this time, her Vampire knives appear to be in that same hoof, and with a small swish, Flam's cries are muted forever.
Deed done, Pinkamena begins her harvest. She cuts open his torso, bending the ribs back so far they break with a resounding crack. The first gush of blood squirts from the injury, painting the wall behind Pinkamena red with the life essence. She seemed to have moved inhumanly fast to avoid the spray.
Slowly, she begins to dissect the Terrarian, taking each organ out with perfect precision and crushing each on the ground due to not having any baking supplies.
She saves the lungs and heart for last, as she opens her mouth... and keeps opening it.
The last thing the Terrarian sees before respawning is the sharpened fangs of the abomination that calls itself Pinkamena Diane Pie.
"Weeeee’re here! Are you ready… t-to… be..."
Flim stares into the wagon, many thoughts going through his head, none of them good. His brother lies sliced apart, blood soaking the inside of the vehicle. The once-thought weak and pathetic mare inside glares at him, pink miasma emanating all around her.
"Awww, poor little Flim. Worried about what happened to your brother? Well... how about we ask him?"
The mare seems to grab something, maliciously grinning, revealing her razor-sharp, bloodstained fangs. Flim nigh pukes upon realizing what this mare... no, thing... was holding.
"Hey, Flam~ Why don't you tell your bro how you're doing?"
The monstrosity holds up Flam's severed head, moving the mouth in tandem to it's deepened voice.
"Don’t you worry about little old me, dear brother of mine. See? I’m doing just fine. I was just having a nice little chat with Pinkamena, but I got… ‘a-head’ of myself."
The monstrosity snickers, neck cracking and rotating upside-down in an unhealthy manner. It stares at Flim with a smirk, before taking a bite out of the top of the head.
"Badum-tish..."
Upon seeing this, Flim attempts to scream, only to be silenced by the pink miasma choking him. Flim drops to his knees in an attempt to gain breath as the monstrosity stands on his legs without seeming to have moved. He goes unconscious after a minute or so.
The true GrimDark form of Pinkamena stands in front of Flim's fallen body, tracing a hoof lovingly along the areas where his organs were hidden, licking her fangs in anticipation.
"We're going to have so much fun, Flim... Let's get you ready for your final party."