Fallen Angel
Chapter 4; Aftermath
Twilight groaned as she awoke, her bleary eyes opening and staring at the blank whit ceiling above her head. She could feel the crust caked on her eyelids, the matted fur of her cheeks. Her nose was still stuffed up and her eyes were no doubt bloodshot still. The tangles in her mane tugged painfully at her scalp and if she didn’t know any better she’d have sworn her tail had been put in a blender.
All in all, Twilight Sparkle did not wake up with a smile.
She lay on her back and rolled her head to the side. A large window was set in the wall, looking out over Ponyville beneath a darkened sky filled with shining stars. The full moon cast her in a pale silver light, and a part of her wondered how awful she looked.
It’s no wonder Rarity-
“Stop,” she said aloud, before the thought could go any further. It wasn’t Rarity’s fault. She knew that. It wasn’t hers, either. Even if that voice in the back of her head told her otherwise.
Rolling away from the window, Twilight for the first time took in her surroundings. All along the walls were posters of pegasi flying in skin-tight spandex and shelves lined with shining gold trophies. Medals hung from any vaguely hook-shaped object and on a small stand next to the bed was a picture she knew well. Reaching out, Twilight plucked the picture from its perch and brought it closer, smiling fondly as her closest friends smiled back at her, herself included.
It had been so simple back then.
Well, not simple, she supposed. Moving to Ponyville, learning what it was to have friends, how to be a friend… there wasn’t anything simple about that. It wasn’t easy either, sometimes. But then, it wouldn’t have been nearly as satisfying if it had been easy, would it?
Her eyes trailed over to the pearly white unicorn in the picture, and she sighed. Her heart gave a painful throb, but nothing more, and for a reason she couldn’t explain she felt a smile tugging at her lips. It all started months ago now. One day, something happened. Like a switch in her mind got flipped and suddenly she realized her friend was one of the most gorgeous mares she’d ever seen. A kind mare whose generosity knew no bounds and endless grace and poise seemed ineffable.
Twilight didn’t know why. No book she’d read could tell her that. Just that what she was feeling was a romantic interest. She’d read so many books, trying to understand her feelings. Trying to find some way to deal with them. Spent so long hiding from them, wishing for them to go away. For a long time she refused to see the obvious answer staring her in the face, and when she did it scared her more than anything else. All the what-if’s, the worst-case scenarios that plagued her thoughts and, more often than she cared to admit, her dreams.
It all seemed so silly now that she knew the answer. Those weeks and months of worrying herself sick over what would amount to… nothing. Nothing at all.
Then her eyes shifted, and a rainbow maned pegasus was smiling at her.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight whispered, her smile melting. The picture of Rainbow Dash was oblivious to her apology, and the thought struck her that the real Rainbow Dash wouldn’t have accepted the apology either. Even after she’d wasted Rainbow’s time with her stupid crush. Even after she’d made Rainbow listen to her fears and worries. Made Rainbow blow off her job to help a friend.
Twilight sighed, sinking further into the cloud bed as she set the picture back on the table. A ball of guilt sat heavy in the pit of her stomach, and she realised that even after all of that, after all she’d put her friend through, she still wanted more. She wanted Rainbow to be there with her, if only so she wasn’t alone. Her mouth opened to call out, but she hesitated. Was she really so pathetic? She couldn’t handle being alone? The pain from Rarity’s rejection had dulled, but still sat ever-present in her mind. What was once a red-hot agony had been mostly replaced by an emptiness that clawed at her heart, leaving its own deep gashes.
But still, she hesitated. Rainbow had her own problems to deal with. Had her own life that had been put on hold to deal with her silly problems. Twilight cursed herself. She hated being a burden, but that’s what she’d become. Nothing more than an obligation Rainbow had to lug around every day. If Rainbow hadn’t found her that first night, hadn’t felt bad enough to apologise and make that promise, none of this would have happened. Rainbow would remain blissfully unaware of Twilight’s plight, and be better for it. Able to focus on her work, without having to deal with anypony else’s problems.
Twilight closed her mouth, chewing her lip. The bedroom was big and empty and she felt alone, but she couldn’t bother Rainbow again. Not after everything else. Her eyes found their way to the picture again, and she frowned.
“Rainbow?” She called out, tearing her eyes away even as she felt the tears threatening to come back. She really was that weak. That pathetic.
What made it even worse was the lack of an answer. The cloud house remained silent, save for her shallow breaths. Twilight felt the cold dread of loneliness seeping into her chest, but she struggled to push it down as she crawled out of the bed. “Rainbow Dash?” She called again, and despite herself hoped desepatly for an answer. Again, none came.
Twilight made her way carefully through Rainbow’s home, navigating mostly blindly through the darkened, unfamiliar halls until she found her way back to the main floor she knew by heart. A light was flicked on, and in sudden brightness a glint of gold caught her eye. Sat at a desk piled high with parchment was a scroll sealed with a golden emblem, and Twilight already knew she shouldn’t. She glanced around, and realised the house really was empty save for herself. And the scroll. It was none of her business. Rainbow didn’t want her to know what was in it before, she certainly wouldn’t now. It was wrong to go through another pony’s mail.
Miss Rainbow Dash, it began.
Rainbow Dash didn’t waste a second of her time. The second her hooves were on the ground the front door of carousel boutique was thrown open, the bell above ringing loudly. Her eyes were narrowed and hard, and she scanned the front room quickly. There was nopony there, but a light was on from further back.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity’s voice called from within. “Do come in.”
The pegasus’s eyebrows lifted, but she quickly wiped the surprised look of her face and followed the voice deeper into the shop. She rounded a corner and found a small kitchen. At a table Rarity sat, two cups of tea in front of her. “I made you a cup, darling, but I’m afraid it’s gone cold. You took longer than I thought you would.”
The unicorn lit her horn, and before long the cup opposite her was steaming once more. Rarity’s smile was thin. “Please, sit down.”
Rainbow didn’t move from the doorway. “How’d you know I’d come here?”
“Please,” Rarity rolled her eyes and sipped her tea. “I saw the look you gave me. The way you walked Twilight away.” Her smile evened out into a neutral line. “You took care of her, I hope?”
“‘Course I did,” Rainbow spat, surprised by the venom lacing her own words but unable to stop them. “‘Least I care about her.”
Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “I hope you’re not implying I don’t?”
“I’m not implying anything.”
“Ah.” Rarity leaned back in her chair. She frowned slightly, idly stirring her tea in her magic. “So that’s how it is.” Sighing, she shook her head. “I do care for Twilight; quite a bit, in fact. She’s one of my dearest friends.”
Rainbow’s glare only intensified. “You hurt her.”
“I…” Rarity trailed off, and behind her eyes a moment of genuine remorse showed through. “Yes, I suppose I did. But I’m afraid I didn’t have much of a choice. I do hope the poor dear is okay.”
“She cried,” Rainbow grunted shortly. “You made her cry.”
“And what would you have had me do?” Rarity asked, her tone lacking the welcoming lightness she was known for. “I hate to break it to you, Dash, but there’s no way to reject somepony’s feelings without hurting them.”
“You-”
“Your tea’s getting cold again,” Rarity interrupted, nodding at the empty chair. “Sit down. Please.”
Rainbow’s teeth ground together. “Screw the tea, Rarity!”
“What do you want me to do?” Rarity demanded, her voice rising for the first time, though she wasn’t quite yelling. “Lead her on for a while before crushing her heart?”
“You could have given her a shot!” Rainbow shouted angrily. “Doesn’t she deserve at least that much?”
“Of course she does! Twilight’s a wonderful mare, but I-”
Rainbow lifted her forehooves and slammed them on the table, their teacups rattling atop their saucers. “Exactly! Twilight’s great. You’d be lucky to have her! Anypony would be lucky to have her!” She huffed and turned away. “You’re the one missing out. Twilight should be glad; she really dodged a bullet.”
“Excuse me?” Rarity gasped indignantly.
“You heard me! Twilight is too good for you. Too good for somepony who can’t even see how lucky they are a mare like Twilight would even consider dating them.” Rainbow had started pacing almost subconsciously. Struggling to vent her mounting anger. “I mean, Twi’s amazing! She’s kind and-and super smart, and have you seen some of the magic she can pull off? Not to mention she blows you out of the water in terms of looks.”
Rarity rested her head in her hooves, idly watching the pegasus pace furiously in front of her. “I’m not disagreeing.”
“You should be honoured to be dating a mare like Twilight!” Rainbow shouted, stomping her hooves as her pacing came to a stop. Her wings fanned out wide, feathers rustiling.
“Yes, I suppose a mare like Twilight is quite a catch,” Rarity agreed thoughtfully, a frown on her muzzle. “But that’s just the problem.”
Rainbow sputtered. “That’s a problem to you? What are you, jealous? Afraid she’ll show you up?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Twilight is a wonderful mare,” she said, looking pointedly at the pegasus. When Rainbow’s glare didn’t relent, Rarity huffed. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash, you’re as thick as ever. Twilight’s great, but she’s a mare. I’m afraid I don’t… swing that way, as it were - all of which I explained to her as gently as I could.”
“Oh.” Rainbow’s wings wilted.
“Your tea’s cold,” Rarity said. “Would you like me to heat it again?”
Blushing slightly and turning away, Rainbow shook her head. “I, uh… I should probably go check on Twi.”
Rarity nodded. “It would be good for her to have somepony with her for a little while. Just while the initial shock passes.” She smiled. “You do seem to be rather fond of her.”
Rainbow gave her an odd look. “Yeah? She’s my friend. ‘Course I like her.”
“I see.” Rarity giggled daintily. “Well, don’t let me hold you up; the poor dear shouldn’t be alone right now.” Her smile faded slightly. “Take care of her, Rainbow Dash. She’s a good mare; I would hate for her to dwell on this for too long. And do extend my most sincere apologies that I am unable to return her affections.”
Grunting her acknowledgement, Rainbow was already on her way out of the shop, leaving Rarity alone in her kitchen once more. “And bring her some ice cream!” She called, an idle smile on her lips. “Honestly. Thick as mud, that one,” she said to herself. Her eyes trailed down to the cup that hadn’t once been touched. “And such a waste of good tea, too.”
Rainbow Dash jumped into the air, wings spreading wide and giving a powerful flap. Her destination was not her own home and the unicorn she’d left sleeping, but rather the tree near the center of town. It was a short flight, and the sun had just disappeared behind the horizon when she landed.
“Spike?” Rainbow called, knocking on the front door. After a moment, the door cracked open, a Spike poked his head out.
“Rainbow?”
“Hey, listen, Twi’s gonna crash at my place tonight, so don’t wait up for her, or whatever,” Rainbow explained hurriedly, half-way turned around by time Spike finished processing what she’d said.
“Hey hold on. Twilight’s been at your place a lot lately, but she’s never stayed overnight. Is something going on?”
Rainbow winced at the question, her wings twitching as she shifted from hoof to hoof. Painfully aware that the longer she was here, the longer she wasn’t with Twilight. “No. Well, kind of. It’s complicated.” She grunted, scratching the back of her neck. “Just… you can ask Twi about it later. I just gotta make sure she’s okay, so-
“If she’s okay?” Spike stepped outside, frowning. “Why wouldn’t she be okay? What happened?”
“She’s fine! Rainbow answered quickly. “Look, I promise, it’s nothing big, and definitely nothing you need to worry about, okay?”
Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Rainbow Dash. What. Happened.”
“I-... I have to go. Twi’ll explain everything tomorrow.”
“Hey- wait! Rainbow Dash!” Spike shouted, but it was too late - Rainbow had shot off like a rocket.
Only to come back a second later.
“Do you have any ice cream?”
“Stupid Spike,” Rainbow grumbled around the bag in her mouth, eyeing the moon as it rose higher and higher by the second. “Who doesn’t have ice cream?”
The thought that she herself never had anything in her fridge wasn’t even entertained.
“Please still be asleep,” she muttered to herself as her house rapidly approached, floating silently in the darkened sky. The last thing she wanted was for Twilight to wake up alone after what had happened. However, her hopes were deflated as she saw a light on inside, and she cursed herself for not flying faster, regulations be damned. With an extra powerful beat of her wings she shot across the sky, slowing down just enough to make the difference between a landing and a crash landing on her doorstep.
“Twi?” Rainbow called, setting her bag aside as she stepped inside. The light was coming from her kitchen, and her ear twitched as she heard the dreadfully familiar sound of a quill scratching against parchment. Her stomach dropped. “Twilight?”
The writing stopped, and after a moment the unicorn appeared from around the corner, her eyes set in a steely glare that sent a cold shiver down Rainbow’s spine.
“Heh. What, uh, what’re ya doin’?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Rainbow blinked. “About what?”
Twilight’s horn flared to life, and a scroll was pulled into view, a shimmering gold seal torn in half still clung to the bottom. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked again.
“You opened it!?”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” Twilight demanded, ignoring the pegasus’s indignation. “How long were you going to let this go on?”
Rainbow snorted, her wings ruffling against her sides. “I wasn’t gonna leave my friend hanging just because-”
“You're about to get fired!” Twilight all but shrieked, throwing the letter on the ground at Rainbow’s hooves. “According to that, this is your second warning. Is that what you wanted? Get yourself fired so you’d have more time to help me?”
“You needed a friend, and-”
“I didn’t need you to put everything else in your life aside to help me!” Twilight insisted, her eye softening slightly. “What would I have done if this kept going, if you got so far behind they fired you? How would I have felt knowing it was my fault? Did you ever think about that?”
Rainbow frowned, her head hanging slightly. “I, uh… no, not really.”
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me - really, I do. I never would have been able to talk to Rarity without your help. But this-” she motioned to the letter “-this isn’t what I wanted.”
“I’m… sorry,” Rainbow said, slowly.
Sighing, Twilight shook her head. “I don’t want an apology. I want you to ask me for help. Like I kept telling you to do.”
“I…” Rainbow trailed off, chewing her lip as she stared down at the warning. She took a breath, and forced herself to meet Twilight’s gaze. “Twi, I need your help. Please.”
The barest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Twilight’s lips. “Was that so hard?” She asked, motioning for Rainbow to follow as she turned away. “Of course I’ll help you. In fact, I’ve already started.”
“Huh?” Rainbow lifted an eyebrow as she rounded the corner into her kitchen as saw her desk. What had once been a paperwork mountain akin to something Daring Do might climb was now a set of neatly organized stacks.
“I’ve done what I can without you. I don’t really understand the work, but I’ve sorted it according to urgency based on their dates. Some simpler tasks - like recording the weather conditions - I’ve started filling out myself based on your notes. Well, the ones I could read, anyway.”
Rainbow felt her jaw hanging open and clicked it shut. “H-how long did this take?”
“Hmm? Not long. When I woke up and you weren’t here… I needed something to take my mind off everything,” Twilight admitted, a slight melancholic shimmer in her eyes.
“Twi-”
“It’s fine,” the unicorn said quickly, turning back to the work. “Having something to work on helps. And it’s certainly better than moping around in bed. Now, you start on this stack-” she pulled a pile of papers forward “-and I’ll start filling out whatever I can on these ones over here.”
Rainbow swallowed thickly at the tower of work placed before her. It was going to be a long night.