“It’s just over here.”
“I know Thorax… it’s been a while… but I still remember.”
The king, the prince, and the nymph walked over to the glen. The nymph sped up, rushing forward with a small cry. Pharynx sat down at the edge of the glen, watching silently.
Apex sat down beside a pile of pebbles and rocks, with a larger one at the front. Pharynx couldn’t see the inscription there, but he knew it by heart. He closed his eyes, reminding himself.
Phenyx Fortuna Elytra
Beloved daughter, sister, and princess
Sep. 2, 2006 - Jan 21, 2021
~May the memories in our hearts lift you safely to Elysium~
“You want to go first Apex?” Thorax asked, and the nymph nodded. He stepped forward and laid a hoof on the small mound.
“Hey Phenyx.” he whispered. “It’s me, Apex. I-It’s been a year… I miss you. Y-You promised you’d always be there for me, remember? I-I see you in my dreams a lot… I hope you can see me too.”
Pharynx bit back a fresh wave of tears. Apex touched his nose to the mound.
“We turn sixteen soon… w-well, not soon, it’s gonna be like seven months… b-but still…” Apex smiled slightly, even though he was now crying. “I-I have something to tell you… Phenyx… I… I’m gay.”
Thorax placed a hoof on his shoulder. Apex continued crying.
“I-I know how much you wanted us to grow up a-and discover who we were… I wanted you to know I discovered it… I-I like to imagine you were there with me, even though you didn’t get the chance to yourself. I’m still figuring things out though. I miss you. I love you.”
Apex stepped back, wiping his eyes. Pharynx closed his eyes as Thorax stepped forward next.
“Hello Phenyx.” Thorax sat in front of the grave. “It’s me… I don’t have much to say, just… I miss you. I miss you so much, every day. Sometimes I ask myself what you’d do if you were here to see some of the stuff that happens. It helps me decide what to do. It helps me keep fighting, remembering what you’d do if… if you were still here.”
Apex hugged Thorax, who picked him up, turning to Pharynx. Pharynx opened his eyes.
“Do you want to go now?” Thorax mouthed at him.
Pharynx hesitated, then closed his eyes again. Once more, he allowed himself to slip into his memories. The memories of her. But this time, something was different.
“Daddy, I had a nightmare… c-can I sleep here?”
“Of course you can, come here, it’s okay.”
“I love you daddy.”
“I love you too Phenyx.”
The words were clear to him now. He could finally see the complete memories again. Pharynx held still, letting the memories-and tears-come to him freely.
“I can’t believe this! You two are shameful excuses for leaders!”
“That’s enough! Stay away from my mate and get out of here! You may not like it but we are your leaders, you will respect us!”
“Respect? As if I’d ever show a bucking gay incestuous couple respect! You two sinners are going to Tartarus for what you’ve done!”
“Get out!”
“Don’t need to tell me twice! I’m telling the rest of the Hive!”
…
“Thor? Hey, Thor, shh, it’s okay, come here.”
“B-But it’s only going to get worse… w-when the eggs hatch…”
“I know. But we’ll get through it. I’ll protect you. Always. I love you Thorax.”
“I love you too Pharynx.”
------------------------
“Can’t catch me daddy!”
“Oh, I will!”
“Or I will!”
“Eek! Papa!”
---------------------
“-Unafraid of the unknown, because I’ll face it all with you.”
“S-Sing it again daddy?”
“I will tomorrow. You need to sleep right now.”
“Okay… goodnight daddy, goodnight papa. I love you.”
-------------------------
“Come and get me Phenyx!”
“I will Apex!”
“Heheh, I’ll get you both!”
“Hehehe! No! Run, Phenny!”
“I am ‘Pexy!”
---------------------
“Haha! Pinned you, ‘Pexy!”
“I’ll get you next time!”
“You wish! Did I do good, daddy?”
“You did great, you’ll be a warrior in no time, both of you will be.”
“Like you, daddy?”
“Just like me.”
----------------------------
“I want you two to remember something very important about being a warrior. No matter what, we never kill innocent creatures.”
“Why not, daddy?”
“Because then we’d be no better than the villains our kind used to be. We’d be no better than the villains we’re trying to protect the innocent from.”
“Have you ever killed, daddy?”
“...Once.”
“Who was it?”
“Someone… who didn’t deserve it. It made me sick.”
…
“Promise you won’t ever again, daddy? I don’t like it when you’re sad.”
“I promise, my little shining star. I won’t ever kill anyone again.”
“Good. I love you daddy.”
“I love you too, Phenyx.”
-----------------------------
“No! No, please!”
“You monsters! Mistakes! You shouldn’t be here!”
“Time to say goodbye, freaks!”
“NO!”
“Phenny!”
----------------------
“Get away from them!”
“Stay away from our babies!”
“Fine! Damage’s been done anyway!”
“W-What does he-”
“Oh shit! PHENYX!”
“P-Phenyx! Sis, come back!”
---------------------
Pharynx opened his eyes again. The tears were coming so fast now. Thorax nosed him. What had been only seconds or minutes at best had felt like a lifetime. In a way, it had been.
“Honey? You don’t have to if you don’t want to… it’s okay if you’re not ready-”
“No. No, I’m ready.” Pharynx stood, kissing his mate on the cheek. “I can do this.”
Thorax nodded and stepped aside. Pharynx took a deep breath, then walked towards the small grave. He sat down, placing a hoof on it.
“Hi… my daughter…” Pharynx gently laid a hoof on the headstone. “I-It’s been a while… I-I’m upset to admit it, but… I-I didn’t come for so long because… I… I was scared.”
Pharynx closed his eyes, and he could feel the wind pick up, swirling around him.
“I know… I hate to admit it, but I was… I thought… I thought this was my fault… I still do think that, honestly. I don’t think I ever won’t believe I could have done something to prevent this. But… I want you to know I don’t regret it sweetie. I will never regret having you.”
Pharynx’s voice broke, and he wiped his tears away.
“You were the best daughter I could ever ask for. And I know that you and your brother… I know what most of the Hive thought about you. I know your papa and I made your lives hard because of how we’re related. But if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing about how it turned out. We had you, and your brother, and we’d never been happier when you two entered our lives… when we saw your faces for the first time…”
The wind blew against him, and Pharynx could swear he smelled Phenyx’s distinct personal scent on the wind. Sweet peaches. He smiled softly and stroked his hoof against the headstone.
“I love you, my little shining star.” Pharynx closed his eyes as the wind came more gently, wrapping around him. “I miss you.”
Thorax and Apex came closer, sitting beside him. Pharynx opened his eyes again, reaching and kissing his hoof, then pressing it against the headstone.
“You will always be my baby girl.” he told her, withdrawing a necklace from under his carapace.
It was a pendant of a bright blue-purple, circular gem, set in an intricately woven dry vine. The pendant hung on a black thread. Pharynx touched it to Phenyx’s headstone, then lifted it and set it around Apex’s neck.
“We’ll always remember you, I promise.” Pharynx vowed, as Apex pulled a small purple flower and a bright red bloom from under his carapace.
“Her favorites… periwinkle and poppies…” Apex murmured, tucking them underneath one of the stones. “I hope you like them sis…”
Pharynx stroked the headstone one last time, then stood up. Thorax and Apex joined him.
“You ready?” Thorax asked him. Pharynx closed his eyes and nodded.
“Y-Yeah… let’s go… i-it’s about time for the patrols to come back… I’m not giving those pebble brains another reason to talk shit about me and my family.”
The wind blew gently, winding around them all. Pharynx smiled softly, looking down at the headstone.
“We have to go now sweetie. But I promise, we’ll come back soon. We won’t be gone nearly as long.” Pharynx leaned down and touched his muzzle to the headstone. “I promise. I love you, my little shining star. And I miss you. Every day.”
Thorax and Apex smiled, then murmured their own goodbyes to Phenyx, before leading the way out of the glen. Pharynx hesitated, watching the grave with pain in his eyes, but a gentle smile on his face. He turned, going to follow his mate and son.
However, before Pharynx left the glen completely, something told him to turn back. He stopped and glanced back at the grave. Then, his eyes widened in shock.
Phenyx stood next to the grave. It was her, he knew. A cyan colored nymph, with a violet carapace so much like his own, but the wing and tail color of her papa. The single, elegantly curved horn on her head, the diamonds on her chest, the chitin on her hooves fading to a pale white. The moonstone necklace Pharynx had put around Apex’s neck gleaming around her own. But something was different. Her body was twinkling with stars.
“P-Phenyx…” Pharynx breathed
Phenyx stepped closer to him, smiling gently at her father with her lavender eyes. She bowed her head to him slightly, then fluttered her wings, looking him in the eye. She then opened her mouth, and Pharynx could hear her voice in the wind.
“I love you too. I’m safe here. Go. Be happy with papa and Apex. I miss you daddy.”
Pharynx sniffled and rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. When he looked back, Phenyx had gone. And yet, for once, Pharynx didn’t cry. He merely smiled, gave the grave one last look, then left the glen to catch up with Thorax and Apex. To return to his home. The Hive could burn for all he cared. The other changelings could mock him for his incestous relationship. As long as he stayed with his family.