Humans Assemble!

by Mistershield


Side Story A

This is a side story, and not necessarily will be connected to the main story. Don’t like my pairings? Hey, its a side chapter written for fun.

Side Story A: Those Whom We Will Miss

“So what do you think of the new humans?” Octavia asked, looking over at Scratch. The two remained inside the Cafe, safe enough for the moment. Both musicians had been inside the cafe when the dragon attacked, so they kept their heads in stayed in place. The humans had been on hand, so they gave them a chance. When they started to fight, they witnessed the battle from a window. When the rain finished, they two sat back down to enjoy their drink.

“I dunno. Dan is so messed up, and it’s not even funny,” the DJ said, shaking her head to the sides. How dare that guy use her music as a way of violence. She was all for anti-establishment, but not violence. Ponies that opted to stay behind released a sigh and sat down.

“I said new humans...” Octavia said, moving her hand to move her drink.

“I dunno. I kinda like the big guy with the bandana. Rugged and stuff. Did you see the guy with that giant metal thing? He was pretty cool,” Vinyl said, thinking back about Sephiroth. Neither of them had a chance to see the tournament. “You got any ideas about them?”

“I do not know, but personally I find it refreshing to see a human female. Too many males,” Octavia said. “But the small one, the one with dark skin seemed kind of cute.”

“Cute? Really?” Vinyl asked, lifting her eyebrows.

“Well yes. Most of the males look like jock like fellows. Phoenix seems respectable, but a bit old for my tastes...” Octavia said, lifting a cup to her lips.

“Really? What do you guys think?”

“You know, I am not sure about the others. But I like Phoenix, but bit uptight.” said Deadpool. He had a cup in his left hand, holding his pinky finger up to be polite. “What about you?”

“Urgh. This wine is bland” Kratos said. The God of War frowned, swishing his drink to stare down at it. “Another!” Kratos shouted, throwing the mug away to break against a wall.
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“Honey?” Princess Cadance asked. Her new husband and she were riding a train back towards Canterlot.

“Yes dear?” Shining Armor said.

“Are you sure we are doing the right thing? I mean, we are cutting our honeymoon short...” The alicorn said.

“Well, I think my new Auntie is the only one that can explain these two,” Shining armor said, looking over to the two humans riding with them.

“Hey, this is not our fault,” Terra said. She crossed both of her arms on her chest. Vergil moved his right hand up to quiet down the esper.

“You should stay calm Miss Terra. You are not the only one that can transform when upset,” Dante’s brother said.
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Meanwhile at the Apple farm, Granny Smith stopped looking for Applebloom. She raised her head up, looking at a very old man. Very old, one dressed on a red robe. He was bald, and had a long beard.

“Who are ya stranger?” Granny asked.

“Its dangerous go alone. Take this,” the old man said, handing Granny Smith a wooden sword.

“And just what I am suppose to do with that?” She asked.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the old sage said. Behind her, a young man dressed in green with huge sideburns reached out to take the sword and lift it up over his head. Link smiled, holding the weapon over his head. At his side, Red Gala, also moved in the same position. The two quickly took off.

“What in the world...” Granny Smith said, picking up her eyebrows. The entire Apple family was playing or doing an activity with a fellow dressed in green. The old man moved to step at her side to look out at them all.

The four sword Links- Blue, Red, Purple, and Green, were playing a game of soccer against Red Delicious, Green Delicious, Caramel Apple, and Apple Fritter. So for odd reason, the Four Sword were winning. Something about their team work that gave them an edge.

Braeburn blinked once, having stopped in for a family visit. He needed the visit, as a woman dressed as Shiek walked along his side. Both of them stood at the entrance of the Apple Farm, looking at all the green moving.

A young man dressed in the similar green outfit put on a mask, turning himself into Fierce Diety Link. He then begun to chase after Baked Apples. Apple Brioche was running as well, a young man dressed in green riding her. They both were trying to get away from a fairy that kept saying “Listen!”

Apple Bumpkin and a Link were sitting down, playing a game of chess. Unlike the other Links, this own wore an apparant set of chain mail armor under the green top. Nearby them, a band was playing. One Link was playing an ocarina. Another Link was paying a harp. And somehow, the last musical link was playing 8 instruments over his head. Apple Tart played on a jug. Apple Cinnamon Crisp was playing on a banjo. Apple Brown Betty played a violin.

Meanwhile over in Manehatten, the Orange family was being visited by the Links from the CD-i games.
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“So brother, do you think The Apple family will still be mad at us?” Flim asked.

“No idea brother. But what else can we do with these two in tow?” Flam asked. The two turned to look back at the humans riding on their cider machine. The duo were heading to Ponyville, only to stop when two humans hitched a ride.

Marcus and Dom turned to look at each other, clinking their guns together. Dressed in their combat armor, the Gears of War heroes grinned at each other.

“I dunno about you, but I am loving these pony dudes,” Marcus said.

“You know, their singing is not bad,” Dom said.

“Achievement unlocked. Friendship is Magic.”
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Prince Blueblood frowned at the large human that refused to get out of his way. The blond human pushed back, trying to force the white unicorn out of the way. Both were competing for a large mirror. The human wore a black shirt and blue jeans.

“Remove yourself, you ridiculous ape!” Blueblood said, grunting once.

“Man I’m pretty,” Jonny Bravo said. “Do the monkey with me Little Girly Pony!”
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Snips and Snails perked their heads up to look at the two humans that walked over to them. The two best friends had just finished lunch, and were ready to play a game. One human was dressed in red, with a blue shirt underneath. The other human was dressed in green with a blue shirt underneath.

“Brohoof!” Snails said, lifting his forehoof up to Luigi.

“Brohoof!” Snips said, lifting his own hoof up at Mario. Mario and luigi turned to look at each other and shrugged.

“Brohoof,” the brothers said to bump fists with the little colts.

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Down from the ceiling of the Golden Oaks Library, the dark knight descended. Both of his arms were stretched out, holding on to the dark cape and extend it. The Batman landed on the ground, his cape slowly landing down to drape around his shoulders and cover his whole body from view. He stood up and looked around.

“Oracle, respond.” Batman said, trying to access Barbera from his radio comm link. No answer still. Too many factors that could explain things. Not to mention he knew he was not on his earth. Why? Because he’s the Batman.

“No one is working either...” he said, looking around himself. Until he did spot something alive at a window. A little canary looking bird, hopping up and down to chirp at him. Maybe this bird could give him a clue as to where he was exactly. Quietly, the dark knight walked up to look down at Pewee the Firebird.

Batman said nothing, merely blinking once. The white eyes on the mask of the figure made Pewee smile and chirp again. So far, the baby bird had yet to see any other creatures with white eyes. Even Mama Spike and Papa Twilight had colors in their eyes. The human hunched down, trying to identify the bird. So far though, the detective was stumped. Nothing like it in any database he had ever seen. Pewee perked up its head, moving its beak to rub against the bare skin given by the cowel.

“You know, you are annoyingly cute. I am going to call you Robin.” Batman said in his deep voice. The baby phoenix jumped up from its nest to land on on his left shoulder.

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Alex Mercer raised his head up from his hiding place. He hated the feeling. Not more than a second ago, he had just died and exposed himself to the mutagen. Next thing he knew, he had woken up next to a horse.

The gray earth pony tilted his head to the side, looking down at the human. Jelly Jiggler, the pony that loved jams, motioned for the human to follow him. Alex followed behind him, wondering if he was suffering from mutagen after effects.

The pony finally came to a stop, in front of large tubs of Jellies. One was unscrewed, one marked with grape jelly. With a hop, Jelly landed inside the delicious grape spread. After a second, the pony turned to Mercer and motioned to the one marked with strawberries.

“You want me, to go in there?” Alex asked, pointing at the giant jar. Jiggler nodded. With a shrug, alex moved to step up to the jar and unscrew it. Surprisingly enough, it was easy to open. Kinda made sense, if it was meant for horses without hands to open. “Why the hell not, I mean, I’m dead right?” He raised his left leg over to step inside the jar and slowly bring his other leg inside. Standing in the strawberry, he slowly lowered the rest of his body inside.

“Yes, yes...” Jelly said to watch the human follow suit.

“You know, this is not half bad. Not like dried jelly that gets sticky,” Alex said. Actually, this felt really comfortable. Little did Alex know, the virus that plagued his body was enjoying the sensation. Alex had no idea his own clothes were part of the virus that had altered his form.

“Now, the coup de grace. Take the top, and wear it as a hat. Then, lower yourself. Embrace the jelly,” Jiggler said as he moved to place the top of his jar on his head. Following suit, Alex brought the jar top of the strawberry and put it in his head and then lower himself into the smooth bread spread.
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“Say Vegeta, are we there yet?” Snowflake asked. The musclebound white pegasus turned to look at the prince of all saiyans. The prince was floating slowly along side the animal, not quite sure what to make of it. How could this beast fly with such tiny wings?

“Shut up Pony Nappa.”
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Buck Norris turned to look at the only thing in all of Equestria that was not on his list of creatures allowed to live. Chuck Norris turned to look at Buck, the only other creature that could divide by zero. Both nodded at each other, knowing nothing had to be said. They turned to look down the hill, spotting the crop of corn below.

Chuck raised his hands up, flipping the birds at the corn. Buck snarled at the crop as well, clearly not liking it. The corn instant fell flat, creating what appeared to be giant crop circles.

Because sometimes, the world needs to be told that corn just has to lay the buck down.


Author’s Note: Once again, not part of the main story! I have no idea if any of these pairings will make it. I just wanted to acknowledge the comments you all made, and also try to pair up some of these guys the best way I could. This little indulgence was proofread by LyonAzakura.