//------------------------------// // Vacation Done Kinda Right // Story: Returning Survivor // by Itchy //------------------------------// Mecha smiled, looking over his two weary apprentices. Both had circles around their eyes, showing how little sleep they'd gotten over the last couple of days, although their smiles showed that they didn't care. After all, they'd just completed the biggest order of their, admittedly short, careers! “I can't express how proud of you two I am,” Mecha said, as he looked over the finished project. “After all, Nightmare metal is ludicrously hard to work with, and yet both of you did marvelous with it. So, with that said, you two are now journypony forgers, congratulations.” Snips and Snails stood in stunned silence as they processed what they'd just heard. After thirty seconds, they started to hop around and yell in joy, swinging each other around in circles. “Yes yes, you have much to be happy about,” Mecha told them, chuckling at their antics. “Anyways, at this point you two can use my forge whenever you want, free of charge. Although, the material isn't free, so thirty percent of what you make and sell goes to me.” Snips and Snails calmed down a little, nodding their heads. “Um... how are we delivering this boss?” Snips asked, looking over the large statue. “I'm taking it with me to Canterlot,” Mecha replied. “I need a vacation, and I figured I'd go and deliver it with Sugary Spice while we're out of town.” Snips and Snails blushed lightly at the mention of Mecha's daughter, causing him to sigh. Trotting over to the statue, Mecha grabbed the handle of the wagon it was loaded on, before yelling out, “Sugary Spice, Wolfgang, it's time to go!” LINEBREAKER Mecha took in a deep breath as he stepped on the train, watching as a team of ponies tried to move the statue he'd brought. Laughing, he walked out of the station, Wolfgang and Sugary Spice jumping onto their normal spots. “What are we doing in Canterlot dad? Are we going to visit Luna? Oh, can we please visit Luna, please please please?” Sugary Spice inquired, hugging Mecha's neck tightly. “Yes, we're going to visit Luna,” Mecha replied, “So you can stop asking please repeatedly.” “Yay!” Sugary Spice exclaimed, settling back down on Mecha's back. “Are you going to mention Sköll and Hati to her?” Wolfgang asked, ignoring the stares he was getting. “I probably should, but I don't think she needs the added stress,” Mecha replied. “Especially if she found out about the fact that I released them... Seriously, why did Sloth have that lever?!” “Perhaps this Sloth fellow had a Pinkie Pie moment and acquired the lever during then,” came Rarity's voice from behind them. Turning around, Mecha asked, “What are you doing here Rarity?” “I decided that Ponyville was not providing me the... inspiration it normally does, and so I have come to Canterlot for a new, fresh perspective!” she replied. “Not to mention, Twilight managed to provide me with a suite from Celestia herself! But what are you doing here dearie? After all, it isn't like you to just up and travel to Canterlot, especially if even a quarter of those stories you tell are true.” Shrugging his shoulders, Mecha said, “I needed a vacation while my house was being built, and Luna offered to house us until they were complete. Furthermore, I have a statue I needed to deliver, so I decided to do it myself.” “What in Celestia's name are you doing here!” screeched a voice from across the street. Eye twitching, Mecha responded with, “Good to see you too, Fancy Smancy. And to answer your question, I'm here to deliver a statue to the princesses themselves.” “Preposterous!” snapped Fancy Smancy, trotting over to Mecha. “What would two highly refined ponies such as Celestia and Luna want from a lowly dredge like you?” “How about that statue behind him?” replied Celestia, as she walked down the street. “P-p-princess!” stammered out Fancy Smancy, dipping into a bow. “I didn't know that you were here!” “Yes, I could tell,” Celestia said, a frown gracing her face. “I must say Mecha, this is by far your best work yet!” came Luna's voice from behind the statue. “The details are excellent, not to mention the lack of a visible seam...” Mecha merely smiled, watching as Fancy Smancy's face slowly lost color. “Thank you,” he finally said, having enjoyed watching his mortal enemy's suffering. “Although I had help from Snips and Snails... don't give me those looks! I warned them completely about the effects, and they chose to help still!” Sighing, Celestia replied, “If they chose to help, so be it. Either way, we should be going Rarity. You need to get settled in, and I need to deal with the noon court.” “Right away princess!” came Rarity's reply, as she trotted towards the palace. Looking over the statue once more, Luna turned to Mecha and said, “We should get going as well. After all, we only have so much time before I need to work, and I wanted to talk to you about this bar thing I heard about from Shining Armor...” “Sure,” Mecha said, giving his shoulders a shrug. Smiling at the now unconscious Fancy Smancy, he turned towards the palace, saying, “It was mostly meant as a joke, but with the crowds crying out for it...” LINEBREAKER “Who's this?” Sugary Spice asked, pointing at a statue in the royal gardens, Mecha having decided to show her the historic statues as Wolfgang went off to scare the nobles. “That, my young filly, is Discord,” came a voice from behind. Turning around, Mecha saw dark brown Earth Pony, with a blue eye and a green eye, white mane, and the Cutie Mark of what looked like... a cotton candy cloud with chocolate rain? Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “Good to see you Dissonant Babel! And whose that filly behind you?” Poking her head from behind Dissonant Babel was a small pink filly, with a purple and white mane, swirling purple eyes, and a screw next to a baseball for a Cutie Mark. Looking up at Mecha, she smiled and said, “My name is Screwball!” “Nice to meet you Screwball,” Mecha replied, before stepping aside so Sugary Spice could be seen. “This is my daughter Sugary Spice. Why don't you two run off and play for a bit?” Sugary Spice and Screwball looked over each other for a minute, before both started to smile widely and say, “Okay!” before running towards the fountain in the center of the garden. Smiling, Mecha watched the two play for a bit, before saying, “You seem to have a lot more control of yourself right now. What happened?” Shrugging his shoulders, Dissonant Babel replied, “I believe it's the form. You know, one mind, no extra limbs, and no excessive energy.” Nodding his head, Mecha asked, “Do Celestia and Luna know?” “Probably,” Dissonant Babel to Mecha. “After all, I've worked for Celestia for a couple hundred years in this form, and Luna probably asked.” “Good to know,” Mecha said, before the two settled into silence for a couple of minutes. Mecha finally broke the silence, asking, “Where's Screwball from?” Shrugging his shoulders, Dissonant Babel said, “I don't know. I mean, she's my daughter, but I don't recall doing anything to have her...” Blinking, Mecha looked towards Dissonant Babel, and said, “You mean she just showed up one day, your daughter yet not?” Nodding his head, Dissonant replied, “Probably did something when I was released that lead to her. Besides, I love her, and wouldn't trade her for the world.” Looking at Sugary Spice, Mecha nodded, saying, “I know what you mean.” LINEBREAKER Mecha was currently in front the restaurant that he'd gone to for the double date on, arguing with the host. “I'm telling you, he won't harm anypony, just let him in!” Mecha all but yelled, pointing at Wolfgang. “And I'm telling you sir, that we have a strict no pets allowed policy!” came the host's rebuttal. At this point, the owner of the joint walked up, asking, “What in Celestia's name is going on?” Wolfgang decided to speak up, saying, “This Fenrir forsaken host of yours seems to insist that I am Mecha's pet here, and thus not allowed to enter your restaurant.” Blinking, the owner looked between Mecha and Wolfgang, before settling on staring at Mecha, saying, “Did that timberwolf cub just talk?” “As much fun as it'd be to say no and watch you freak out, he really did,” Mecha replied. “So can we go ahead and enter?” Still shocked over the fact that Wolfgang just spoke, the owner continued to blink, before asking, “So long as you tell me what to get for him to eat.” Sighing, Wolfgang told him, “Wood. Preferably maple, although I'll take ironwood if you have some.” Lightly nodding his way, the owner said, “Right this way,” before guiding them to their table. Sitting down, Mecha asked, “How's Canterlot been for you two?” Sugary Spice smiled brightly, before saying, “It's been great! The gardens were sooooo pretty, and I had fun playing with Screwball! Not to mention that Celestia and Luna are so very nice!” Chuckling, Mecha turned to Wolfgang, and asked, “How about you?” Grunting, Wolfgang put his paws on the table in order to see Mecha, while saying, “It's okay. I mean, it's fun scaring the crap out of the nobles, but that gets dull after the eightieth or so noble. Not to mention, everypony seems to think I'm your pet!” Raising an eyebrow, Mecha replied, “By the technical definition of a pet, you are.” Waving a paw in Mecha's direction, Wolfgang said, “Semantics!” Sugary Spice turned to Wolfgang, before saying, “If you're not a pet, then why do you let me scratch you behind the ears so much?” Caught off guard, Wolfgang started spluttering, “Er... um... that is to say...” “Or let me rub your belly? Or tickle your sides? Or walk you on a leash?” Sugary Spice continued. Grumbling, Wolfgang lowered his head, saying lightly, “Okay, okay, I get it.” Mecha just laughed, as the waiter came to take their orders. LINEBREAKER Mecha was walking through town with Dissonant Babel, looking at several buildings. Apparently, in addition to buying decorations for the palace, Dissonant Babel was also a real estate agent. Currently, the two were looking for a location for the first bar that Mecha and his friends would own, as they decided to test the waters in Canterlot before moving to a small town like Ponyville. While they were out looking, Sugary Spice and Screwball were being foalsat by the princesses, a thought that still made Mecha giggle. Looking up at the last of the buildings, Mecha nodded his head, saying, “It's perfect.” Smiling, Dissonant Babel said, “Great! Now then, would you like to get a drink or bite to eat at the town's only other tavern?” Shrugging, Mecha followed his friend to rough looking place at the edge of town, walking in without a care in the world. Big mistake, as all of the current patrons turned to face him, deadly looks in their eyes. Rasing an eyebrow, Mecha turned towards Dissonant Babel, who'd put his hood on before entering. “This is the only tavern in town? A tavern filled with criminals?” Nodding his head, Dissonant replied, “Yep. Seeing as they're the only ones who'd drink the low quality beer here...” Sighing, Mecha walked up to the bar, taking a seat and causing the room to gasp. Looking around, Mecha shrugged his shoulders, before turning towards the bar keeper. Giving the bottles behind him a glance, Mecha was about to order when a hoof landed on his shoulder. Turning, Mecha saw that it was attached to a spotted black and white goat, flanked by two others. “That, my foolish new comer, is my seat.” Pushing the hoof off his shoulder, Mecha ignored the growing tension, saying, “What of it?” Snorting a little, the goat replied, “That is my seat. I sit there every time I visit this joint, and you're in it.” Giving his own snort, Mecha stared the goat in the eyes, and said, “Then find a new one for tonight.” Gasps littered the room, as the stare off continued. “Do you know who I am?” the goat replied. Rolling his eyes, Mecha said, “Obviously not, since I don't care.” “I'm Capo! And I hold more power in my hooves than you realize,” said the now named Capo, anger in his eyes. “You could be Celestia herself and I still wouldn't care!” Mecha replied, standing up. “Now get out of my face!” he said, punching Capo straight in the stomach, causing him to collapse. The two goats that were standing next to him went wide eyed, before pulling out a couple of switch blades, and attempting to stab Mecha. Ducking under the slow blades, Mecha took a step foreword, turned around, and grabbed the two goats heads, slamming them together. They then joined their boss on the floor, and the tavern went silent. Looking around, Mecha shrugged before using the three unconscious goats as his chair, saying, “Can I order now?” Laughter broke out from Dissonant Babel, who was now sitting in Capo's chair. “I like your style Mecha,” he said, giving the bar keeper his order. “Although you realize that you've just brought down the wrath of the mafia, right?” Eye twitching, Mecha said, “No, I didn't. That means that the goat I'm using as a chair is from high up in the chain of command then.” “Yep!” Dissonant replied. “The son of the founder to be exact. I must say, you're so much fun to be around, so... chaotic.” Turning to face Dissonant, Mecha said, “Shut up Discord.” Letting out another chuckle, Mecha's friend shook his head, grabbing his drink. LINEBREAKER “So everything went well then?” Luna asked, as she greeted Mecha at the palace doors. “For the most part,” Mecha replied, trying to forget that he'd beaten the head of the mafia's son into the ground. “Excellent!” Luna said, smiling. “Then I look forward to the grand opening!” Shaking his head, Mecha told her, “Princess or not, you will be restricted to no more than three bottles of moonshine a night!” Pupils shrinking, Luna stammered out, “B-b-but I must have my moonshine!” Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “No means no! We can't have you trying and re-arrange the stars into strippers and hookers again! I mean seriously, do you know how long it took to explain that to the foals? There are some that still won't go near poles!” Looking down, Luna blushed while saying, “I said I was sorry...” Eye twitch, Mecha said, “And ran off when the mob of angry parents showed up.” “Daddy? What's moonshine? And what are strippers and hookers?” Sugary Spice asked from beside him. Eyes shrinking, Mecha patted her on the head, saying, “Moonshine is something I'll explain when you can legally have it, and as for strippers and hookers? Something you'll never be. Ever. In fact, forget you ever heard those two words, okay?” Smiling, Sugary Spice nodded her head before heading over to say goodbye to Screwball. Turning to face Luna, Mecha's eye twitch had returned, as he said, “If she ever asks me again, I'm having you explain it, got that?” Flinching, Luna nodded her head. “Good!” Mecha replied, suddenly smiling eerily. “Now then, I've got one last question before we go.” Nodding her head, Luna said, “Go ahead and ask.” Making sure that Sugary Spice and Screwball were far enough away so as not to overhear him, Mecha asked, “Why'd you pick strippers and hookers?”