Long ago, in a magical land of not-yet-Equestria
All the ponies lived in peace and harmony and they partied all the time, as if they were crazy, but they really weren’t, duh! They were just as happy as a pony can be and they smiled all the time. Their life was free of worries, so they partied all the time, since it was always somepony’s birthday. In these ancient times everything the ponies ate was cake and pies and punch and flowers and pizza and whatever party food you can imagine (because there was always a party). And there was always a gramophone with my favorite record playing, because it was just so super duper outright fantastic. Gee, the good times.
But then everything changed... when the... Fire Stallions attacked!
The big, meanie Fire Stallions! They didn’t want the three Pony Tribes to party in harmony! They said that now the year has no days at all, so it is not anypony’s birthday! and they burnt all the streamers, and they all were like KssshHHHSShhhh, and they burnt all the baloons, and they were like Kssssss.... POPThhh!! and then they drank all the punch and changed the music to some classical music which I find okay, but I don’t like it THAT much. Well, and they were the Fire Stallions, so they breathed... FIRE! But not all the time, only when they wanted to burn something, because otherwise they wouldn’t be able to have a casual conversation.
But there was a single Party Pony who wasn’t afraid of the Fire Stallions! And she (because it was a mare, duh!) was really The Last Partyattender! Because she secretly kept some streamers and confetti and baloons and partied when the Fire Stallions weren’t around. Okay, that’s enough for today, I didn’t suspect writing is soooo exhausting for my headsies. Poory, poor Thinkie Pie.
And that’s how Equestria was made! (not yet, but I think it’s a good last sentence for any story)
“So, what do you think? Not bad for a first try, Spikey, huh, huh, huh?!?”
Pinkie Pie, the personal student and protegee of Princess Celestia finished reading her first attempt at writing anything to her number one (and frankly, only) assistant. Spike was just a baby dragon, but as he was living with Pinkie Pie all his life, he felt like a real grayscale tired with his life at times.
“Geez, Pinkie, it’s three in the morning. I’m trying to sleep here!”. He turned around and covered his head with a pillow.
“Sleep!?” Pinkie gasped. “Sleep?!?!?! Just an hour after the Moondancers party, and fifteen hours before the AFTERparty?”
“Geez, don’t tell me there’s gonna be an afterparty...” Spike moaned.
“Haha! Gotcha!” The party mare fluttered her eyes rapidly.
“Oh, thank Celestia, I don’t know if I could...”
“The party is in FOUR hours, not fifteen! It’s noon already! Your Auntie Prankie Pie changed the clocks... again!” Pinkie giggled.
“To be honest, Pinkie, every hour spent with you is equally entertaining, so the exact time doesn’t matter.” Spike muttered and closed his eyes again. We really need to get separate beds. Hell, I’d go even with a basket. Sleep sleep sleep sleep
“Oooooooh, aren’t you just the most lovely, the most entertaining, and the very very bestie best assistant in the whole Equestria, Spike?”
Spike opened one eye. Just as expected, Pinkie’s face was grinning just an inch or two away from his.
“Yeah. Indeed I am.” He grunted.
Suddenly the pink body twitched. Spike tried to crawl away, but it was already too late.
“Somepony here is suffering from need-to hug-my-assistant syndrome! It’s huggy time!”
“No, Pinkie, no!” Although Spike appreciated all the sisterly love and affection Pinkie showed him daily, her need for manifesting it was close to disturbing. She almost crushed him with the embrace.
“Gosh, Pinkie, give me a break. Seriously now, give me a break. Pinkie, I can’t breathe!”
“That’s so sweet, Spike!” Pinkie shed a single tear of joy, not really paying attention to Spike’s words.
“Pinkie, stop! Gosh, I think I’m nauseating! Pinkie, I’m about to...BUUUUUUUURRRRP!!!” A huge scroll covered with green flames materialised in front of his nose. Thank Celestia it’s not the last party.
“A letter! A letter from Princess Celestia! It must be important!” Spike gathered all his strength and pushed the astonished pink pony away, making her fall off the bed. Pinkie stood up, shook the dust off her fur and trotted to the kitchen annex of the round room of the Canterlot’s Ivory Tower they lived in.
Spike broke the seal on the letter, unrolled it and started to read. He frowned after a while.
“Pinkie, I think it is actually pretty major! I think you should listen to it.”
“Sure Spike, whatever Aunt Celestia wants must be super important” Pinkie said and took the cupcakes out of the oven.
Spike cleared his throat and began to read.
Pinkie Pie, my most faithful student
I have a very important task for you that needs to be done immediately. Recently I’ve noticed many signs of Nightmare Moon’s return. You can know that name from an old pony tale, but I assure you, that Nightmare Moon is real. In fact, it is the twisted, evil and malevolent incarnation of my sister, Princess Luna, imprisoned a thousand years ago on the moon. I won’t get into the details (you can easily find them in the book “Predictions and Prophecies” I sent you a while back). The important thing is - all the ponies traditionally celebrate the defeat of Nightmare Moon on the longest day of the year with so-called Summer Sun Celebration. And this is exactly when the Nightmare Moon’s return is going to happen, and she will try to bring an eternal night upon all of Equestria. This year is not a good time to have that party.
Now, for the love of me, listen carefully, for there is not much time left. There are some powerful forces in Equestria, called the Elements of Harmony. They are the key to defeat the Nightmare Moon. Unfortunately, I forgot where I put them, and my power over the Elements has weakened over the years. However I sense a very strong Harmony resonance from the little village of Ponyville. You’ll be delegated there immediately. You’ll find my undercover operative, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle there. She’ll aid you on your quest to find the Elements of Harmony and to defeat the Nightmare Moon. Try to get all the help you can get - if Nightmare Moon returns I’m not sure if I can defeat my sister again.
You’ll be stationed in the Ponyville’s library. Waste no time and find the book “Elements of Harmony: The Reference Guide” (it should be under “E”). I’d borrow it myself, but as I recall it my library card is out of date (I send it to you along with the letter, please, renew it, as you’ll be the new town’s librarian).
Over the years I observed you very carefully, and I am convinced that you embody one of the Elements of Harmony, the Element of Laughter. That can be our chance for victory, even if I won’t be able to stand against the Nightmare Moon. Find out about the other Element’s and try your best to discover ponies who stand for them. I believe that your contact, Twilight Sparkle can be the Element of Magic. She’s the town’s most recognised magician even if her work doesn’t help her develop her talents.
Find her,
and close shut the jaws
of Eternal Night!
Princess Celestia
PS. The royal charriot will be by your place in an hour, so pack your things up. Try not to be overloaded.
“Wow, that sounded really important. I think that we should take that book-”
“Oh, Spike, Spike...”, Pinkie shook her head in disbelief, “When you will finally learn how to read between the words?” The pink pony opened her enormous travelling trunk. “Let’s see... I’ll need those...”, she said putting a huge mound of baloons inside, “definitely a pile of these babies... Oh, and you never have enough of my favorite streamers, that’s for sure... Spike, do you think there’s a half-decent bakery there, or should I bake ALL the cupcakes I need myself??”
Spike cocked his eyebrow. “Pinkie, I think that the Princess was clear to take just the important stuff, we must take steps to prev-”
“Oh, Spike, Spike, Spike. SPIIIIIIIKE.” Pinkie was wearing her detective hat all of a sudden. “I believe I listened to the letter carefully enough. At least to the important parts. Our instructions are clear as a day. I must go to Ponyville and make some new friends while preparing the Best. Summer. Sun. Celebration. Ever!” She put her toy pipe in her muzzle and blew some bubbles out of it. “Sunset Sarsaparilla! My favorite drink! Where did I put it? They definitely don’t have it in Ponyville.”
“I wonder what letter you were listening to. I’m sure that the instructions are to seek information on the Elements of Harmony and-”
“Trombone? Tuba? Harmonica? Trumpet!? I just can’t decide! I’m so excited, Spike, I don’t know if I ever was so excited in my life, well, maybe that one time when I was applying to that magic school and everypony was like “you’ll never make it Pinkie, you’re not a unicorn!”, but I qualified anyway ,and then we had pancakes to celebrate and I was all like >>OMNOMNOM<<. What the heck, I’m bringing my one-pony-band set!” Pinkie was clearly filled with glee as she jumped joyfully around her nearly full trunk.
Spike sighed and put Princess’s letter in his bag. “Whatever, Pinkie.”
“Well, let’s see. So there’s my crystal ball and turban...”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Come on, Pinkie, nobody likes all this “Madame Gypsy Pie” mumbo-jumbo you came up with in the School For Gifted Unicorns And Royal Protegees”
“NoPONY in Canterlot, Spike. We don’t know nothing about Ponyville yet. So, that leaves some empty space in the chest, just enough for the confetti. The chariot should be able to carry my Cannon, the Welcome Wagon, the balls for Ball Emergencies... I’ll probably fly with my skybike... and my baking equipment... boy, that escalated quickly!” she said looking at the huge pile of luggage and contraptions she gathered.
Note to self: try to find Twilight Sparkle and let her know about the Nightmare Moon, thought Spike.
"But Pinkie... what if Princess Celestia is right about Nightmare Moon? What if it is really a thousand years anniversary of her exile? What if-"
"Nightmare Shnightmare, Spike. And what if Princess's count is wrong? What's the biggest number you know, Spike?"
Spike blushed. "42."
"The next is 43. Write it down. It's a lot less than thousand and it's still hard to count to it, right? I'm sure if I was that scary, meany thing on the moon, I couldn't tell one day from the other. I'm not even talking years, Spikey. Unless Celestia exiled a huge hourglass too. The party, on the other hoof, is a completely different matter. You don't have to guess when to have a party, you just invite everypony, bring music and a ton of cupcakes and have fun. Parties... parties never change."
An armored stallion entered the ivory tower. "Miss Pie?!", he shouted, "The charriot's ready!"
"Okie-dokie-lokie!!!" Pinkie yelled back. "You heard it Spike? Now get those things downstairs and cheer up! What's the worst that could happen? I'm the protagonist after all!"