“So, yeah, I just got a Memo from Mimi?” Nastasia said, addressing the gathering in the center of Count Bleck’s castle that included the Count himself, Lulu, and O’Chunks. “It says ‘I messed up bad’. That’s the memo in its entirety.”
“She didn’t accomplish much of anything,” Lulu agreed. “Even that last desperate stunt of hers didn’t stop them for an hour.”
“And yeh did better?” O’Chunks snorted. “I didn’t hear about yeh defeatin’ the ‘heroes!’ “
“No, I did not defeat them. But a bore like you wouldn’t know about other forms of success.”
“Bleh heheheheheheh…” Bleck pulled his hat down. “Perhaps it is time to introduce our new minion?”
“New… what?” O’Chunks scratched his head. “We can get more?”
“Absolutely!” Lulu clapped her hands. “Everybody say hello to Dark Oak of the Metarex!”
Dark Oak jumped from the floor below, landing on a pedestal that was just a bit higher than O’Chunks. “I will be sure to bend this sorry excuse for a task force into shape.”
“Great, like the enthusiasm,” Nastasia deadpanned. “Are your commanders ready for deployment?”
Dark Oak nodded ever so slightly. “Yes. Bayleaf is solidifying his position in the Void, and Narcissus has been sent out.”
“Bleh heheheheheh…” the Count lifted his hands high. “More forces to bring the end of all worlds! While the strength of these ‘heroes’ grows, so does our own! Bleck!”
“Yeh gotta let me go back out there!” O’Chunks shouted. “Let these robot hooligans do their own mechanical business, I’ll do the punchin’!”
Nastasia raised an eyebrow. “Oh? You think you’re ready to go, O’Chunks?”
“Uh…”
“Did you finish that report on your own inadequacy that I requested?”
Lulu let out a snicker.
“Oi!” O’Chunks stomped his foot angrily. “Gimme a break! Writin’ is hard, and a thousand pages be a lot!”
“Just cast a spell and make it write itself,” Lulu suggested.
“Ergh…” O’Chunks deflated.
“O’Chunks, calm yourself, take a minion time out,” Count Bleck said. “Instead, I will send Dimentio!”
Dimentio popped into existence in the midst of them all. “Ahahaha, and so I arrive, like meerkats recently thawed to life from a glacier!”
“I… wot?” O’Chunks shook his head.
Dimentio ignored him. “How do you wish me to take care of these heroes, oh my Count?”
The Count’s grin only widened. “However you see fit.”
Dimentio let out a chuckle. “Ah, an amusing challenge! What a fun game this will be…” Instead of teleporting away, he vanished and appeared next to Dark Oak. “And look at the new minion fodder! Tall, graceful, powerful. Like a crystalline chainsaw!”
“I am no minion,” Dark Oak breathed.
“All of us are minions, it’s just the title that comes with the job! Don’t worry, I’m sure your serene world will be one of the best when this is all over.” Dimentio vanished before Dark Oak could say anything else.
“...What manner of creature is he?” Dark Oak asked.
“I do not know,” Count Bleck admitted. “But he has been useful, and shown a knowledge of many things between worlds even I knew nothing of.”
“Hmmm…” Dark Oak relaxed his arms. “Shall I go with him?”
“He prefers to work alone,” Nastasia pointed out.
“But Bleck shall send you out as well!” the Count declared. “Go, Dark Oak! The next world they visit will be particularly suited to your skills! Surely both of you will bring them to their knees!”
Dark Oak nodded, jumping and walking away.
“I’m off,” Nastasia said. “Lulu, with me.”
Lulu lit up. “Oh! Are we hunting for rebel ponies?”
“Yes. You’re on board with that, K? K.” Nastasia jumped down, and Lulu floated down after her.
“Uh…” O’Chunks scratched his chin. “Was I supposed t’ do somethin’?”
The Count coughed. “Nastasia had a report she wanted you to write.”
“Oh. Right…”
“Do write it, but she doesn’t have time to read all one-thousand pages. Give her twenty at the start and twenty at the end, just fill the rest with gibberish. She won’t notice a thing, especially with the little pony insurrection we have going on.”
“Wow! Thanks for the tip, Count!” He jumped down and ran off to his work.
“Bleh heheheheheheh… ‘tis the least I can do for such loyal minions.” Now that he was alone in the room, a frown momentarially crossed his face. Shaking it away, his grin returned in full force. “Bleck! Heroes… Trying to save these pathetic worlds. Bleck, says Count Bleck! Bleh heheheheheheh… Their efforts are in vain. No one can stop Count Bleck.”
He vanished into a swirl of the Void.
Just as no one can ease the tempest that rages in my suffering heart.