//------------------------------// // Chapter 27 // Story: Inner Demons // by Azure Sandora //------------------------------// I know that the lyrics say "hands", but I couldn't change the song to "hooves", it just didn't sound right. Besides, SPike has hands. This chapter is brought to you by My Hands by Leona Lewis. Chapter 27: Why Does it Hurt So Much? Princess Luna escorted Apple Bloom to her room and they began talking. Apple Bloom was surprised how approachable the Princess of the Night was. She definitely was more stoic and reserved than her older sister (Apple Bloom was shocked to find out that their difference in age was the same as her and Applejack) but somehow Apple Bloom saw a gentleness to Princess Luna that she didn't notice before. Actually, before Apple Bloom was TERRIFIED of Princess Luna. Not because of the Night Mare Moon thing, but because she was so powerful, and didn't look friendly. But all of that changed when Apple Bloom opened up to Princess Luna. "I see," Luna said thoughtfully, "How long have you been like this?" "Let's see," Apple Bloom had to think, "Ah think this is the sixth day." Luna looked shocked, "You've been in an adult body for six days?" "Y-yes," Apple Bloom said, suddenly scared. Did she do something wrong? Luna looked surprised for a second, and then her gentle expression returned, "I'm sorry Apple Bloom, that was not directed at you. I was just surprised. You're... how old? Normally I mean." "Before this Ah was ten. Ah think Ah'm twenty-one now." "My god..." Luna looked so shocked hearing this, and was now in deep thought. Was this a special case? "Um, yer Majesty?" Apple Bloom asked. "Call me Luna..." she said distantly, taking Apple Bloom off guard. She NEVER thought she would be on first name basis with royalty. This was crazier than when she was told to call Rarity by her first name. "Alright, L-Luna," that was going to take some getting used to, "Um, is whut Twilight did ta me uncommon among Chrono... Chrono..." "Chronomancers," Luna finished for Apple Bloom, "And it's not unheard of. I used Chronomancy on myself recently to accelerate my age." "R-really?" Apple Bloom asked. "After the Elements of Harmony freed me from my darkness, I was still the same age I was when I changed, while Celestia had aged and grown more powerful. I was already adept at Chronomancy at the time, so I used the same spell that Twilight used on you and your friends to put me at the same age I would be had I not become Night Mare Moon." "But, weren't ya sad to have lost yer childhood?" Luna laughed, but it was a sad laugh, "I lost my childhood the moment I became that monster and tried to hurt my sister. Then waking up and finding out that more than a thousand years had gone by, all of my friends dead, surrounded by a new, more "modern" Canterlot, new rules, and new ponies to have to get used to? I felt like I would have been better off dead, but I knew that wouldn't fix anything. So I cast a spell to age myself. I wouldn't be surprised if Twilight used the same room I used. The spell circle is still there." "So, ya know what happens to a pony that rapidly ages?" Apple Bloom asked. "Yes, and what you're going through right now I experienced as well. You see, when you use that spell, it's not just a physical change. You've literally aged yourself at a rapid rate. As a result, though it may take a while, your mind follows soon after. What you're experiencing is just that." "So, Ah'm growin up mentally?" "Yes," Luna stated with a nod, "The fact that you've been like this for almost a week means that you're adult hormones are kicking in now. You are literally twenty-one now." Which is why Ah feel so strange around Lezard," Apple Bloom said to herself, "Can Ah return to mah normal age?" "Well, the real question is, do you want to go back to your normal age?" Luna asked her. Apple Bloom was about to answer, but then stopped. When she thought about it, she wasn't so sure. In the beginning it was all she wanted, but right now, faced with the possibility, she wasn't sure she wanted to be a child again. Luna sensed her hesitation and wrapped a wing around her, "It's okay, I know how it feels. I was scared of the feelings I felt too. The first week is the hardest, but after that, you begin to adjust." "Whut if Ah do become a kid again?" Apple Bloom asked looking up at the Princess of the Night, "Will these feelins go away?" "That I doubt," Luna said, "The mind is a strange thing. Even if the body goes backward, the mind only moves forward. Honestly, going back now might just make you an adult trapped in a child's body. However, not going back would be robbing you the joys of growing up naturally," Luna sighed, "Tell you what, I'll create a spell that can return you to your proper age, but I won't use it on you unless you tell me that you want me to." "Can ya... really do that?" Apple Bloom asked, saddened that she wasn't happier knowing she could be herself again. "I've learned many things through Chronomancy, and I'm on the verge of figuring out time travel. I don't just control the moon," Luna said with a smirk. "Ah see," Apple Bloom said smiling, but then got serious, "That's not the only thing that's botherin me." Luna nodded, "You're referring to the whole Master of Harmony bit, aren't you?" "Ya heard about it?" "And that some ponies in this castle are under the impression that it's you? Tia told me." It took a second for Apple Bloom to realize she was talking about Princess Celestia. She wondered if Luna had a nickname too. "Whut should Ah do?" Apple Bloom asked, "Ah mean, Ah know that it's me, but Ah'm scared. Ah don't wanna fight Twilight by mahself, an' Ah'm terrified of diein, but if the pony in the legend is me then..." "You listen to me," Luna said sternly looking right into Apple Bloom's eyes, "Don't let anyone tell you that you have to do anything." "But the legend said-" "Screw the legend." Luna said, shocking Apple Bloom, who was under the impression that all ponies in the castle believed it was her, "I don't put faith in "legends" and "prophesies" like my sister does. Sure, I listen to them, and they are usually right sadly, but I didn't become Night Mare Moon because it was in a book. Discord didn't reawaken because it was foretold. Twilight didn't become a destroyer because of some prophesy. All of that happened because of us, the ponies living in Equestria today. I'm not going to tell you whether or not you're the Master of Harmony, but I am going to tell you that if you really are going to take action, it had better be because you want to take action." That hit Apple Bloom hard. It didn't matter if the world depended on her? It didn't matter if she was the only pony who could stop Twilight? Apparently not. According to Luna, the only thing that mattered was what she wanted to do. It was so dark in the throne room she was in right now. No one was there to talk to her, to keep her in the light, to say that they loved her, to hold her and take care of her. It made her sad... It made her feel relieved... She missed all of them... She hated everything... It was so confusing to her now. What was she doing? Why was she doing it? It didn't matter. She didn't have anyone anymore. The world hated her, so why not hate it back? "It's so dark here..." she said softly to herself, "It's... so DARK!" she screamed, holding her head in pain. She then began screaming out in sadness, anger, grief, agony, it was all in that scream. But when she was done screaming, she fell to the floor and began laughing sadistically. "Day one is over... Elements of Harmony..." she said, her voice completely insane, "In two days... I'll destroy all of you," she began laughing again, but slowly her laughter became more and more like sobbing, until she was just crying, "Help me... please..." ~2 days until the end~ "So there's nothing else that we can do?" one of the doctors asked. "I think we tried everything," the other doctor said, "It's like she's not even in there anymore." "What do you think we should do?" "My opinion," the doctor sighed, "we move her back to Ponyville. That way she can at least spend her last few days at home." "You talk as if she's already dead," his partner sounded a little irritated. "We may all be dead in a few days, remember?" he reminded his partner, who nodded in response. Sweetie Belle couldn't believe any of this. The doctors were giving up? But Rarity was still breathing! This was why Sweetie Belle couldn't STAND doctors. They didn't care whether or not they could save a pony. If they did they'd keep trying to wake Rarity up. She walked down the hall, thinking about everything that happened so far. Apple Bloom still wasn't talking to her, and who could blame her. She turned out to be right about everything. Twilight was using her, they didn't need dark magic to get their Cutie Marks, and Rarity did love her. And everything that happened, including Rarity getting hurt, it was because of her. That hurt more than anything. Here she was, stuck in an adult's body, with a Cutie Mark she probably didn't deserve, she lost her best friend and she might just lose her big sister as well. No... she wouldn't. She wasn't going to lose Rarity. She had to do something. It was her fault, so she had to fix it. Even if she had to wake Rarity up herself. Huh, wake her up herself. Why hadn't she thought of that? She looked at her flank, at her Cutie Mark, remembering what it meant. She may not have earned it the day she got it, but if she could wake up Rarity she'd feel like she deserved it. She ran over to Rarity's room, hoping that no one was in there. When she got there, she saw that Rarity was alone. She looked like she was sleeping. Even now she still looked so graceful. Sweetie Belle remembered how she used to hate how beautiful Rarity was, because she secretly wanted her to be beautiful like that. It wasn't until she sacrificed herself that Sweetie Belle realized that Rarity was beautiful on the inside just as she was on the outside. In fact, that beauty she saw was her inner beauty. She was truly an angel. "Wake up Rarity," Sweetie Belle said walking into the room, "Please..." She closed the door and locked it, making her horn glow. This time the song that came out was soft, and full of the sadness she felt in her heart. (Start My Hands by Leona Lewis) I wake in the morning tired of sleeping, Get in the shower and make my bed alone. I put on my makeup talking to the mirror, Ready for a new day without you, Sweetie Belle stayed facing door as she sang the first verse, her horn glowing bright pink. And I walk steady on my feet, I talk, my voice obeys me, I go out at night, sleep without the lights. And I do all of the things I have to keeping you off my mind, But when I think I'll be alright I am always wrong 'cause She slowly turned around and looked at Rarity sleeping in the bed, feeling more desperate hoping that Rarity could hear her song, hoping it would guide her to consciousness. (My hands) don't wanna start again, (My hands) no, they don't wanna understand, (My hands) they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find. (My hands) they only agree to hold, (Your hands) and they don't wanna be without, (Your hands) and they will not let me go. No, they will not let me go. She was now walking over to Rarity singing the chorus, a magical voice a lot like her's aiding her now. She stopped right at the side of her bed and began nuzzling Rarity. I talk about you now, and go a day without crying, I go out with my friends now, I stay home all alone, And I don't see you everywhere, and I can say your name easily, I laugh a bit louder without you, And I see different shades now, and I'm almost never afraid now, But when I think I'll be okay I am always wrong 'cause (My hands) don't wanna start again, (My hands) no, they don't wanna understand (My hands) they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find. (My hands) they only agree to hold, (Your hands) no, they don't wanna be without, (Your hands) and they will not let me go. No, they will not let me go. She touched Rarity's hoof while she sang the second verse, getting worried. She wasn't stirring or anything. But she was breathing. She looked down right before she poured all of her emotion again into the chorus. Sometimes I wake, I see them reaching out for you, Quietly breaking whatever shields I spent so long building up. I cannot fake 'cause when they cry I'm unspoken. They miss holding my baby. Sweetie Belle was getting desperate now, and as she sang she began shaking Rarity, inside thinking "Wake up damnit! Wake UP!" My hands, no, they don't wanna understand. They just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find. She broke down and cried freely as she continued to sing. She was NOT giving up. Not now, not ever. Rarity saved her life, so she HAD to save Rarity's. (My hands, your hands) they don't wanna be without! (Your hands) and they will not let me go. No, they will not let me go. (My hands) don't wanna start again, (My hands) no, they don't wanna understand, (My hands) they just shake and try to break whatever peace I may find. (My hands) only agree to hold, (Your hands) no, they don't wanna be without (they don't wanna be without) (Your hands) and they will not let me go. No, they will not let me go. No, they will not let me go... Looking back at Rarity, she practically pleaded her to wake up with the chorus this time, unable to hold in the tears. She just wanted a sign to know that Rarity was in there. That she was listening. That she heard her. She needed to tell Rarity how sorry she was. But as the song ended, she realized that her song hadn't reached her. She hugged Rarity as she ended the song, singing the last part. She sobbed loudly holding Rarity. "I'm sorry Rarity!" Sweetie Belle sobbed, "I'll never wear your high heels again! I'll never put on your make up! I'll never complain about your work! I'll be the BEST little sister ever, and never get in the way again, just PLEASE wake up! PLEASE!" she continued to sob, hoping that Rarity would tighten the hug. She felt a brief twitch, but that was it. It was enough for Sweetie Belle at that moment though, who continued to cry still holding her sister. In her head, she could almost hear a sweet and soft voice... It's okay... I forgive you... sister... Outside, Silver Spoon was listening to Sweetie Belle's song. She was almost brought to tears hearing that song, and it made her think of the bond that still needed to be fixed. "I'll fix this, I promise," she said. She wiped her eyes before galloping out of the castle. She thought she saw Apple Bloom go out. Maybe she could still catch her. But when she got into town, she didn't find Apple Bloom, she found someone else. She was lying down in an alleyway, her armor broken in certain parts, and it looked like she was beaten up bad, because although she was breathing, she wasn't moving. "Scootaloo..." Silver Spoon lead Rainbow Dash to where she found Scootaloo. Thankfully she was still there. Poor kid, Rainbow Dash thought, it was like looking in a mirror almost. Almost... Rainbow Dash brought down a small rain cloud and stomped on it making water fall out, onto Scootaloo. She stirred a bit, but it looked like she was still trying to sleep. "Wake up, kid," Rainbow Dash said. Instantly, Scootaloo began laughing, but Rainbow Dash noticed it was a sad laugh. The kind from somepony who had given up. "Come to finish me off, huh?" Scootaloo asked, "If you think for one second that I'm going to go down quietly, you've got another thing coming," she laughed again, "I'm not going to die." "At least that much is admirable," Rainbow Dash said getting off the cloud and walking over to Scootaloo, "And I didn't come here to finish you off. I came here to talk." Scootaloo snorted, "Oh, so you care? Please, don't even go there. I'm done being a follower to anyone," she forced herself up, "I run this race on my own, and I'm in first place." "You can't run a race on your own," Rainbow Dash said, "Your problem is that you're so far away from everyone else, you can't tell if your in first place, or last. Where you are it looks exactly the same." "Aren't you the expert?" Scootaloo taunted turning to Rainbow Dash, "Why don't you prove your point?" Rainbow Dash looked down and sighed, "I'm not fighting you again, kid." "Then you're just going to make it easier for me!" Scootaloo charged at Rainbow Dash, who turned into a bolt of lightning and dashed behind Scootaloo. She charged again, but Rainbow Dash dashed to the side, making her fall into a series of crates. Scootaloo got up again and continued to charge at Rainbow Dash, who kept dashing around. As this went on, Rainbow Dash looked hard at Scootaloo, noticing the pain in her eyes. They were exactly alike, these two. Scootaloo charged one last time, but fell to the ground as Rainbow Dash moved aside. Rainbow Dash walked over to Scootaloo. "Why are you still fighting?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Do you even remember, or are you just fighting for the sake of fighting now?" Scootaloo jumped up and tackled Rainbow Dash to the ground standing on top of her, "I'm fighting to erase my past! All of it!" Rainbow Dash rolled them aside so she was on top, "You're past is always there whether you like it or not! Even if you kill everyone in your past, the feelings those people left with you will still be there!" Now Scootaloo was on top, "That's why I threw away EVERYONE! I can't feel anything for anyone if NO ONE IS THERE!" Rainbow Dash on top, "No one gets far by themselves! At some point you HAVE to accept somepony!" Scootaloo on top, "What's the point when the ponies you accept just turn their backs on you when all your trying to do is be their friend?!" Rainbow Dash, "Maybe if you spent a little more time listening to those so called friends and a little less time listening to your own voice you'd understand why people leave you!" Scootaloo, "What do you know about my pain?! You're nothing like me!" Rainbow Dash, "I'M EXACTLY LIKE YOU!" this time Scootaloo stopped, clearly shocked when Rainbow Dash said that, "Parents who don't give a shit, ponies putting you down because you don't know your talent, feeling like you want to give up or just tell the world to fuck off, I know EXACTLY how that feels, because that was my foalhood!" Scootaloo was wide eyed listening to Rainbow Dash, apparently unable to process what she was hearing. "But I never lost touch with who I was!" Rainbow Dash continued, "I had one friend in school, ONE! She was an outcast like me, and she kept me from giving up on myself! I thank Celestia every day for that friend, and if I could see her again I'd tell her how much our friendship meant to me! Just because my life sucked I didn't quit because I was determined to make my life better! "Now look at me. I've got more friends than I can count. I've got a wonderful job. I've got a dream. Most of all, I've got a purpose! I've got ponies counting on me, those same ponies who shunned me, hurt me, made my life feel like the shit hole I thought it was! I know exactly how it feels to be in your life, but unlike you, I didn't waste my time feeling sorry for myself, and I never betrayed my friends!" Scootaloo broke eye contact and looked really serious, but Rainbow Dash could tell that she was trying hard not to cry. Rainbow Dash got off of Scootaloo and walked off a bit. "No one gave up on me," Rainbow Dash said, "So I won't ever give up on you. You probably don't hear this enough, I know I didn't," she turned to Scootaloo, "I love ya, kid." "Why?" Scootaloo asked in a shakey voice, "I tried t-to kill you." "We always hurt the ones we love kid," Rainbow Dash said, "The important thing is that we have a forgiving heart." "Y-you forgive me?" "Kid, I forgave you the night it happened. I'm not the one you need to ask to forgive though," with that, Rainbow Dash walked back to the castle. Somehow, she knew that Scootaloo would be okay. As she walked off, she thought of that friend, wondering if she was okay. Maybe after saving Twilight, she'd write to her. See if there was a chance to restart their friendship. For a long time, Scootaloo lied there, letting the words sink in. She felt something inside. She didn't know if it was good or bad, but she couldn't ignore this feeling. "Damn it..." she groaned holding her head, "DAMN IT!" she screamed loudly, not caring who heard her that moment. She hated herself right now. She felt like there wasn't anything worth saving, or even loving. But why did Rainbow Dash... "What's wrong with me?!" Scootaloo asked herself, "WHAT IS THIS FEELING?! WHY AM I SO ALONE?! WHAT AM I EVEN FIGHTING FOR?!" After screaming, she broke down, feeling everything Rainbow Dash said. Right now, she wanted somepony to hold her but no one was there. She wanted her best friend. But after everything that happened, that friend might never talk to her again.