//------------------------------// // Chapter Four // Story: The Merchant of Ponyville // by nameundetermined //------------------------------// The next morning, Jasper awoke early and left a note thanking Lyra for her hospitality before making his way out of the house as the sun rose as quietly as he could manage. As kind as the little Unicorn had been, he was...not sure how comfortable he would be staying there for longer than the duration of a single night. That being said, acquiring transport to this...Canterlot was sure to present some difficulties. He took one of the apples from the burlap sack of them he had purchased from that Applejack pony and took a bite from it, humming softly as he thought. However, his train of thought was interrupted as quickly as it began when he heard a rough, female voice from above “Hey! Hey you, what are you doing here?” He looked up in time to see a rather...flamboyantly colored pegasus pony land next to him, striking what he could only assume was meant to be an intimidating, authoritative pose. The equines mane was a garish rainbow affair, as was the tail. Their coat was a light blue and their eyes were a sort of purplish color. A marking of a cloud with a lightning bolt in rainbow colors was plastered into either side of their flanks. They also seemed to be giving him quite the displeased expression as they trotted a bit closer. They were, as he had initially guessed from the voice, a female. She was a rather...roguish and rough and tumble sort, but definitely of the fairer half. He cleared his throat softly and addressed her politely. “My apologies, I was just making my way down the street while enjoying a bit of breakfast. Was there something I could do for you, Miss…?” The name is Rainbow Dash, and I’ll be asking the questions here, buster!” she said firmly as she reached up to poke him in the chest with a hoof, prompting a small frown from him. “Now what exactly are you, and what are you doing in Ponyville?” He gave a small sigh and braced himself, This was not going to be a pleasant exchange, he could already feel it in his bones. “My name is Jasper. Jasper Mountebank, I am a Human, and I am currently simply passing through Ponyville, hoping to catch a train to Canterlot later today if I can come up with the funds to do so. I happen to be in a bit of a jam you see. I am quite lost and do not have any of the regional currency at my disposal.” She squinted at him, her eyes narrowing slowly as she looked him up and down carefully. “You use a lot of big words, Hyoo-man. What are you, some kind of egghead?” He tilted his head slightly, raising one eyebrow. He was not exactly sure what an egghead was supposed to be, but from context, it seemed to be some form of derogatory term for a well-read person. “I am fairly well-read yes. My trade as a Merchant demands a certain level of intellectual prowess in order to be successful.” “Hmmm...and you said you don’t have...currency? No money huh?” Well, at least she seemed to be able to use context to deduce meaning as well. “If you don’t have any money, where did you get those apples huh? Applejack is gonna be really mad if she finds out you stole em, ya know.” He seemed taken aback by this accusatory statement, even raising a hand in a defensive gesture “Ma’am, I am no thief! I gained this produce fair and square! I simply do not have any erm...bits. She was kind enough to accept some shillings and pence for the transaction. That is the currency back in England you see.” “England huh...sounds like some kind of made-up place to me. How do I know you are telling the truth about any of this, huh?” He sighed softly, giving her a patient if stern look as he crossed his arms in front of him. “Look, Miss Dash. I am sure that you have plenty of questions. But there is no point in me dawdling about all day answering them if you are just going to refuse to believe the answers I give. You can either take my answers at face value, or you can stop asking me questions and perhaps leave me alone so I can enjoy my breakfast in peace. She seems a bit taken aback by this answer for a moment, embarrassed even before quickly becoming indignant. “Hey! You aren’t in any position to be making any demands, smart guy!” she said, stamping a hoof and bringing herself slightly lower to the ground. “Maybe I should just bring you to Twilight. She’ll know what to do with you...” As she lowered herself slightly, he stepped back, seeming a bit nervous about the serious look she was giving him. “H-hey now, no need to be so aggressive, I am sure we can talk this out-oh god!” POP! Smash! As she threw herself into the air at him, his hands came up and he braced himself for impact. He looked away and closed his eyes and the next thing he knew, he heard a crash behind him. He opened his eyes to look slowly lowering his arms and saw...the piny who had just lept at him, upside down, dazed and confused atop a pile of barrels. He found himself chuckling softly as he looked down at her despite how nervous he still was inside, regaining his normal, calm demeanor as he leaned down to get a better look “It seems you have missed your target. Perhaps next time I could offer you some directions to make sure you make it safely to your destination.” As he mocked her gently, she shook her head and clapped her forehooves against her cheeks a few times, tumbling herself right side up again and giving a small snort “hey! No fair using magic like that! How the buck did you even do that!” She said angrily as she pawed at the ground and scowled at him. “Magic? I am afraid you are mistaken, miss. You whiffed that tackle all on your own.” he said, more unsure than cocky now as he tilted his head. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head a bit too hard there? I can escort you to an infirmary if you need.” he said, taking a step towards her, a hand raised. She stomped her hood down and stepped back slightly. “Step off, creep! I know exactly who to get to deal with you!” She said as she took off and quickly flashed through the air towards what seemed to be a large tree in the distance. He sighed softly and shrugged as she beat a hasty retreat, presumably coming back with reinforcements. Chances are based on the average temperament of the ponies he had met so far that whoever they brought had a...decent chance of actually listening to him at least. He might as well stick around and see if he could get someone with some common sense to hear him out. In the meantime, he had seen what looked to be a rather homey, if garish sweets shop yesterday. Perhaps he could talk himself into a nice cup of coffee and a scone if he was lucky… ------------------------------------ Meanwhile, one particular purple unicorn librarian was having a rather relaxed day all things considered. Spike was out of the house, presumably on one of his bi-weekly visits to woo rarity by being her little assistant for the day. At least today he had done so at a time when she did not need her assistant. She had managed to get the entire library’s catalog of books organized to her liking and was enjoying a well-earned cup of tea in her dining room. She gave a satisfied sigh as she brought the freshly brewed cup in her telekinetic grasp up to her lips- SMASH! -only to be interrupted by a blue blur smashing through her roof and directly onto her table, the legs giving out from under it immediately and smashing the teacup out of her aura and splattering her face. “Twilight! You gotta help me, there’s a Hyoo-man in the middle of town acting all suspicious and using magic and I think he stole from Applejack and...and…” as Rainbow Dash scrambled to her feet, she sheepishly came to a halt in her speech as she noticed all of the collateral damage she had caused and the very unamused and very wet expression on her friend’s face. “O-oh, sorry about that...don’t worry, I’m insured for that through work, they’ll cover a replacement.” Twilight gave a small, exasperated sigh as she used her magic to dry herself and got out of her chair, shaking the dust and debris out of her coat and giving the other girl a flat, mildly annoyed expression. “It’s fine, Rainbow Dash. Now, what were you saying about somepony being suspicious in town?” And from there, Rainbow Dash began to explain her encounter in town, of course trying to make herself sound much cooler than she was during the entire affair. After she finished her embellished retelling, Twilight hummed softly and simply turned to walk towards the shelves. Browsing for a few moments before pulling out a rather old book “Hyoo-mans, I know I have heard that term in...this one, I think…” The book was titled “Encyclopedia of Equestrian Folklore: Volume 8 - H” She slowly, carefully opened it with her magic, careful not to damage the older tome as she flipped through the pages “Hmmm….Hyoo-mans, Hyoo...mans...Ah!” She says suddenly as she points her hoof at a section of a page. “Humans! I knew it! They are apparently a sort of mythical creature.” She skimmed over the page, reading aloud for the other mare to hear as she leaned in with mild interest. “Hmmm, member of the Fair Folk, in the same category as Centaurs, Goblins, Trolls, Seaponies, Flutterponies…” She trailed off softly as her hoof ran along the aged, slightly faded text. “Naturally Curious and generally Jovial and Capricious by nature, Humans are difficult to predict. They are generally harmless unless provoked, content with pulling harmless if sometimes large scale acts of mischief, and will often grant small favors in exchange for gifts or charitable acts, or even help with a task or problem for no seeming reason other than boredom. But if provoked, humans are capable of wielding immense magical power on par with a Draconeqqus to...unpleasant, sometimes fatal effect…” Twilight stopped reading slowly, the color draining slightly from her face as her eyes widened and her hoof stopped next to a picture of a mostly hairless, quadrupedal creature. “And you are sure that this was the creature you encountered, Rainbow Dash. And you attacked him? And he used magic?” She asked as she looked over at her friend while more directly pointing with her hoof. Rainbow Dash frowned and nodded, realization seeming to fall across her features slowly. “Yeah, I did do that didn’t I…” she said slowly as she rubbed at the back of her neck with a hoof. “Do you think it’s too late for me to go and apologize?” Twilight snapped the book shut, grimacing as she placed it back on the shelf. “Maybe not Rainbow Dash. I mean, he seemed to take it fairly well from what you said. He did not stop you from coming here after that. He did not seem to do terribly much aside from simply keeping you from touching him. Maybe he wasn’t too mad?” In any case, apologizing was certainly looking like an appealing option, and the two of them cleaned up the mess around the destroyed kitchen table and set off into town to find this Human creature before it got itself into any more trouble. They both remembered what happened the last time the ponies in town had to get used to a strange creature among them. With how this place worked, it was only a matter of time before someone else decided they wanted to cause a problem. ---------------------------------------- As it had turned out, the bartering had gone far better than expected. It seemed that that orange mare’s apples were quite a desirable commodity around town. It just so happened that the shop owner’s wife had been meaning to go out and grab some, and he had managed to trade ten of them for three bits and a cup of tea, netting himself a tidy little profit. It had been easy enough to convince them that the additional cost was worth not having to go out and grab the apples himself during breakfast hours. The yellow-colored stallion had even thanked him for the convenience afterward. He happily sipped at his team humming as he enjoyed the last of his apples along with the soothing beverage. He noticed that a rather...fluffy looking pink mare was eyeing him curiously from the booth next to his, bouncing up and down slowly with a smile across her face. He gave a small sigh and cocked his head towards her and spoke “Yes, Miss. Can I help you with something?” Evidently, she took this as an invitation and hopped over the backrest of the seat opposite to him to sit across from him at the booth, her smile widening slightly. “Howdy! Sorry for staring so much, I just haven’t seen somepony that looks like you before, and the last time a strange pony came to town we made them feel really unwelcome and I ended up feeling really bad, so I figured ‘Oh! Maybe this stranger will be nice too!’, so I decided to come and talk to you to find out, so, are you nice, Mister?” She asked, leaning in after spouting all of that out in a near stream of consciousness, hyperactive cant. He blinked slowly and ran a hand through his hair as he digested what she had said before finally deciding to answer. “Well, I do consider myself to be a fairly agreeable fellow yes. My name is Jasper. Jasper Mountebank.” he said as he continued to sip at his tea. “I hope you can forgive me for not getting up to shake your er...hoof. I am currently having breakfast.” “Awe, that’s okay! My name is Pinkie Pie! I’m the resident Professional Party Pony!” she said with an adorable little wave of her hoof, a bit of confetti seeming to materialize from her mane.”I don’t wanna be rude, but what are you, Mister? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anypony like you around before, and I know everybody in Ponyville!” she said as her hooved drummed gently against the tabletop with excitement. “Well Miss Pie, it is...very nice to meet you. I am a human, actually,” he said as he scratched at his chin. “And er...was that confetti just in your hair?” he asked as he gently dusted it away from his food and drink with one of his gloved hands. “Nope! That just sort of happens sometimes.” she said happily if noncommittal before her eyes widened and she gave a small gasp “A Human!?” Granny Pie told me about those! She said you guys aren’t real though. It’s too bad too! From what I heard you can be a lot of fun, but if you aren’t real then that means I can’t play with you.” She said with a pout as her hair deflated slightly. He could not help but chuckle softly, his lips turning a few degrees upward moreso than his usual easy gentlemanly demeanor demanded. A more genuine smile than his typical encoded contented countenance. “I assure you that as far as I am aware, I have been quite real for my entire life and have no intention of ceasing to be real at any point in the future,” he said somewhat dryly with a hint of amusement. “Though as much as I would like to er...play, I am afraid I do have pressing matters to attend to. I need to gather enough capital to secure a train to Canterlot. I am quite lost and I have been told that Canterlot would be a particularly suitable place for me to get my bearings and try to sort out my situation, but I do not have enough money for a ticket.” She seems to think for a few long moments, going so far as to press her head to the table and put her hooves on top of it and rub before coming back up with a face betraying revelation “Oh! I know! What if I give you the money for your ticket if you spend the day with me meeting some of my friends! That way I get to play with you and you get your ticket!” she said confidently, extending a hoof towards him as if prompting him to shake on it in agreement “Sound good Mister?” He took a moment to consider. While the ponies had, by and large, seemed not terribly friendly, she looked to be an obvious exception. And if she really is in charge of organizing many of the town’s social gatherings, it would probably look quite good to be seen associating with her as far as the opinions of the other ponies in town were concerned. He reached over and happily shook her hoof in his hand. “That sounds wonderful, thank you, it’s a deal.” As he says those last three words, he gets a strange sensation of comfortable finality. Pinkie seems to vibrate for a few moments and then rubs her head “Ooohhh! That was weird! I usually only get a feeling like that when somepony makes a Pinkie Promise!” she said as she hopped out of her seat and started...bouncing towards the door. “Come meet me outside when you finish, Jasper!” He smiled softly at her as she exited the building, giving a small nod, turning back to finish his breakfast. Seems he had a full day ahead of him. ---------------- About fifteen minutes later, Twilight and Rainbow Dash burst through the doors. This was not the first establishment they had suddenly entered, they were looking for the human, but so far they were having no luck. Mister Cake waved at them from the counter and gave a small, slightly worried smile when he saw their serious expressions “O-oh! Hey girls, is uh, somethin’ the matter?” he asked, tilting his head slightly as the two of them approached the counter quickly and Twilight began to speak. “We are just looking for somepony, Mister Cake. Tall, really tall actually. dark mane, glasses, walks on two legs-” He smiles a bit wider and cuts them off! “Oh! That fella. Yeah, he actually left with Pinkie Pie about fifteen minutes ago. She wanted to show him around town. Really off fella, him. Nice though! Saved me a trip to the market!” he said chipperly as Rainbow Dash and Twilight gave each other a panicked look and simultaneously yelled. “PINKIE PIE!?”