Twilight gasped for breath even as her “captor” pulled her, stumbling, down the once-verdant walkway from the castle.
Ex-castle, maybe.
Sure, it had already seen better days before they’d blown up a small pirate fleet over it. But, Twilight reasoned, it wasn’t like they’d had much of a choice.
Maybe the explosions had rattled her more than she thought. The girl then pushed any further introspection away, at least until her lungs stopped burning and her ears stopped ringing. She focused on the now-familiar feeling of Rarity’s hand clasped around her wrist, leading her forward into yet another interesting situation. Forcing her eyes to focus on something other than her own feet stumbling forward for a second, Twilight glanced around.
Her dear mother was in full “agent” mode. Hard lines resting naturally around her eyes as she herded a shell-shocked Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy ahead of her, gun arm trained on Rarity even so.
Another minute or so of quiet stumbling, Twilight remembered that she had magic, and focused on her ears, softly applying pressure and energy until her mo--Agent Velvet’s voice was clear.
She spared all of three seconds to consider how unfair it was that both of the strong, driven, morally ambiguous women in her life were apparently so accustomed to explosions that they were already yelling at each other again.
Wait, scratch that, Pinkie Pie was walking backwards, eyes analytically appraising the smoldering ruin of the castle behind them. That was going to be another very interesting conversation. Some other day. She’d schedule it in eventually.
You know, the chunks of burning rock and magic crystal and wood were actually quite pretty when--
She blinked again. There was… something important…
“--know that you had no reason to interfere, I can take care of your daughter just fine!”
That was Rarity, hotly defending her choices to the no-longer-secret-to-them Agent with a gun. Rainbow was once again trying to wrestle it to point at the ground, but Velvet was apparently done playing games. She took but a second to knock Rainbow’s feet out from under her, dropping the girl to the ground with an indignant “hey!”
“That is not your role, Spectre,” Velvet said, “your role is to come. Quietly. With. Me.”
She pulled a set of handcuffs out of her jacket. Rarity and Twilight both scoffed, and the hand holding them lowered slightly.
“What?” Velvet looked slightly hurt.
Twilight spoke up. Anything, to distract Mother from her target. “Well… how many times have handcuffs actually worked against Rarity?”
When Twilight Velvet shrugged and let them drop to the floor, Twilight Sparkle relaxed.
She yelped, however, when Velvet immediately flicked out her wrist, sending a twitching rope of purple energy at Rarity’s legs. “Mom!”
“What?” Velvet was winding up for another shot, as Rarity had nonchalantly hopped over the first one.
“Now?” Twilight asked.
Rarity grinned even as she caught her breath. “Well, I suppose we count as domestic terrorists, now, darling.” She pushed, and a shimmering wall surged forward and coated Velvet, slowing her movements. “You might even count as fair game to Mommy Dearest too!”
“Hey, you don’t get to call me Mommy,” Velvet growled. She pulled her gun arm back up and squeezed.
Rainbow Dash was confused. She hated being confused. All she knew at that moment was that her ears hurt, her head hurt, her wrist hurt, and Twilight’s mom was about to shoot Rarity.
Naturally, Rainbow did what came to mind. She tackled--apparently-- a secret agent. The slowing field was still active, so the girl got to experience the ground rushing at her face in slow motion, which, she briefly noted, was really cool.
When she hit the ground, she heard Fluttershy calling out her name, and some more angry yelling coming from Twilight Velvet.
Rainbow ignored all of that, choosing instead to yell over the commotion and the ringing in her ears. “Can we stop trying to shoot people?”
A beat of silence, then Twilight Velvet coughed. “I--she’s a criminal. I have to,” she said.
Every teenager present made a disgusted sound at that proclamation. Rainbow sighed. “I thought secret agents were supposed to be cool,” she mumbled.
Agent Velvet sighed too. “In my defense, I thought my daughter’s girlfriend was supposed to lack a criminal record.”
There was mild spluttering from somewhere above Rainbow, who was still lying on top of Velvet, keeping her arms stubbornly pinned to the ground.
Twilight meekly spoke up. “I mean, we were preten--”
“I don’t know, darling. It feels awfully right to flee from explosions holding your hand.”
Rainbow had the feeling that Pinkie Pie was nodding at that remark.
“O-oh!” Twilight squeaked.
“I’m sorry, dearest, that was presumptuous of me.”
“Not at all! I, uhh… when we were rigging those ships to blow, I felt… tingly?”
It was Rarity’s turn to go quiet and mutter to herself. Twilight Velvet resumed her struggles.
“Come on! She’s corrupting my daughter right in front of me!” she growled.
Fluttershy cleared her throat, speaking louder than usual, almost as if she couldn’t hear herself. “In their defense, those were a bunch of pirates. We know what they would have used those ships for.”
Velvet froze. “Wait. There were pirates on the ships?”
There was a very reticent hum in response to that, and Velvet’s muscles tensed. In a flash, Rainbow found herself on the ground under Velvet’s boot. In that moment she decided that the world needed more mothers like Twilight’s. Even if she tried to shoot her friends sometimes.
“There were only six of them!” Rarity waved her hands emphatically.
“Oh, that’s alright then!” Velvet chirped, “Premeditated murder charges are only actionable starting at parties of eight!”
Rarity scoffed. “Nonsense! I definitely know people who’ve been arrested for a single… murder…” she trailed off.
From her new vantage point, Rainbow saw Rarity and Twilight standing, once again, across from Twilight Velvet. She also saw, however, a grizzled, burly man approaching them from the path.
The tension in the air fizzled as everyone awkwardly stared at the newcomer.
“Uhh, can we help you?” Twilight Velvet called coldly at the man.
He nodded. “Are y’all the ones that blew up my airships?”
Everyone froze. Then, Twilight (the Sparkle one, Rainbow mentally added) raised a finger. “You’d be the captain, then?”
“I am now, I guess.”
“...oh.”
The man only nodded.
“Our, ah, our condolences,” Rarity smiled tightly.
“And congrats on the promotion!” Pinkie smiled, even as Fluttershy elbowed her gently in the ribs.
The man scowled. “I’m gonna need to talk to the law ‘bout this.”
Twilight Velvet put her hands on her hips. “What do you plan to tell them?”
“Some idiot kids blew up my property?” he gestured at the flaming castle. “And I assume killed a few people, too!”
The woman thought for a second. “You won’t be needing to do any of that,” she said, “Agent Twilight Velvet. I’m in charge of this operation.”
The man paled and started backing away. “You government mooks are recruitin’ kids now? That’s messed up, lady.”
“Be that as it may, they’re effective,” she shrugged.
Rarity cleared her throat. “I presume this means no charges are to be filed?”
A nod from the man was the last they saw of him before he turned tail and ran up the path away from the castle, muttering something about youngsters ruining the pirating industry.
Rainbow coughed.
With wide eyes, Twilight Velvet stepped off of her stomach, an apology already halfway out of her mouth before Rainbow waved it off. “It’s cool, don’t worry about it,” she croaked. “Super sick to see that in person.”
There was a tense moment once again as everyone tried very hard not to seem like they were staring at the burning wreckage. In their defence, crystal array explosions produced some interesting, and, perhaps, impossible, colours.
Rarity glanced over at Twilight Sparkle, noting the way the flaming wreckage was reflected in her eyes. The two had gone back to holding hands at some point, which served as some comfort even as Rarity attempted to slip back into the cold, calculating mindset sometimes required of the Sequined Spectre. It wasn’t that she wanted to continue antagonizing Twilight Velvet, but their current… arrangement… was untenable.
“So,” she ventured, “this was all a government-approved operation? Off the record?”
Velvet frowned, still taking in the shrapnel littering the grass before the castle. “It sort of has to be, I suppose.” She shrugged and holstered her gun. Rainbow gave a firm nod.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, we did have standing orders to take down the sky pirates,” Velvet said, “and if I count you as an outside contractor, my daughter isn’t an accessory to murder.”
Rarity appreciated the pragmatic approach, and was about to say as much when Twilight Sparkle interrupted, hand tightening around Rarity’s.
“Actually, mom, I, ahh… I may have been the one who rigged the crystal arrays.”
It was perhaps concerning how unbothered everyone was by the flash of approval in Agent Velvet’s eyes. “Did you?” she purred. “I suppose I may have some opportunities for you over the summer, then.”
“But why me, then?” Rarity narrowed her eyes, stepping towards Velvet. “You could just claim that she took the actions necessary to capture such a dangerous criminal!”
Velvet chuckled. She held up one finger, which quickly started glowing with magic. “This way, my fellow reluctant government agent,” she said, “my daughter doesn’t hate me for taking you away.” She closed the distance to Rarity as she held up a second finger. “We gain a powerful ally.” A third finger went up, and with the three glowing sparks she traced a small circle before Rarity’s eyes. “And I go full circle from my own recruitment.”
Rarity blinked. The sigil burning before her was that of The Astronomer, a legend amongst thieves and reputable mercenaries. She’d ceased all operations a long time ago, but if it truly was that she’d found a job on the side of the law…
With a gulp, Rarity nodded. “I, ah, I hadn’t given that much thought.”
A flick of her wrist dismissed the sigil, and Velvet smiled. “It’s all behind me, now. Helped with security upgrades to government facilities, new strategies for finding and capturing criminals… it’s really quite fun, darling.”
The younger thief grumbled at the unauthorised use of her schtick. Even so, she couldn’t deny that the alternative did not look appealing in the least. Sparing another glance at Twilight--wow, she really did not get tired of doing that, did she?--Rarity nodded softly.
She shook hands with Twilight Velvet, and looked at her other friends. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie were all idly sitting on the grass, having a quiet conversation. When they felt eyes on them, the three stopped and looked up.
“Ladies,” Rarity said, “shall we get going? I feel like it’s time to put this all behind us.”
Velvet nodded. “I think we’ve reached a suitable agreement. Besides, you owe my daughter a date!”
Twilight flushed. “Mom!”
As everyone laughed, Rarity simply tugged her partner closer. “She’s right, you know,” she whispered. “Hopefully no-one gets arrested this time.”