The Sky Is a Lady and She Is Gay: A RariTwi Exquisite Corpse

by SigmasonicX


7. The Breakfast Octopus, or The One Where Mrs. Velvet Gets Busy (Cynewulf)

Rainbow tried her best grin.”Mrs. Velvet, ah, see… I’m really not sure this whole gun thing is necessary.”

Mrs. Velvet cocked the hammer back. Dash and Pinkie stood rooted to the ground, eyes darting first to each other and then to Velvet, and then to the gun. Pinkie whined.

Dash groaned. “Oh come on. Dammit, dammit.”

“I’ve asked you both a question,” Velvet said. “I’m not an unreasonable person. I have not asked the impossible. I just want to know where that… where the Sequinned Specter took my daughter. It’s not a hard question. Even for you, Rainbow.”

“How would we know that—”

“Then guess.”

“Tunnels!” Pinkie wailed. “Tunnels! Took the tunnels! Rarity mentioned it once and she has bolt holes and tunnels under town from some old bootleggers and one of them goes out of town towards the woods and Fluttershy’s cottage is really old and its the one they used and you can get to the cottage through the tunnels and they probably went there cause a lot of stuff has happened and some of it I was there for but a lot of it I was not there for and my knowledge is very limited and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to know and not know and—”

Velvet scowled. “Pinkimena. Shut up.”

“Right!” And she did.

The gun did not waver, but Velvet’s stance softened just slightly. "Fluttershy’s cottage at the edge of the woods. I don’t know the way. You do. Take me there.”

~~~

Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy—one of three from the cabin—were now outside. Thankfully, Discord’s teleportation had also provided Fluttershy with clothes. She still seemed a bit sheepish, at least to Twilight.

“Um, hi,” Fluttershy said.

“I believe we’re quite past hellos. Were you the one wearing the twister mat, or?”

“It, uh, anyway.” Fluttershy coughed. “So what are you doing about the sky pirates? And also… oh dear, my brother.”

Twilight couldn’t help it. She put her hands on her hips and leaned in. “Okay, seriously, which Fluttershy are you? And, I’m sorry, but… why are there three?”

Fluttershy looked down at the ground, grabbing at her nice floral skirt, and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘its embarrassing and also private’ but finally just sighed. “Please? Can we…”

“Fine, it’s alright. Sorry, Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Likewise. We do… we have something like a plan. Or I do. Specifically I do,” Rarity said. “I’ve not figured out what to do about Raven yet. Discord can handle Zephyr, that’s within the purview of what he’s allowed, but the pirates I can perhaps handle. I’m no amatuer thief, you know. I know my territory well, and I keep my ears to the ground and my eyes to the sky. They’ve been sneaking fuel and crystals through town for a week.”

“Crystals?” Fluttershy cocked her head to the side. “For what?”

“Batteries. Magical ones. The inner workings of it all is a bit beyond me, my dear, but I’m not ignorant of the practical parts. Airships use magical batteries filled with the things as both propulsion and weaponry. Fuel can only get one so far if an engine’s crystalline matrices aren’t up to snuff. And with the amount they’ve been moving…”

Twilight grinned. “Wait, you think they’ve been rehauling their ships nearby.”

“Precisely. Now, I’d expected them to be on their way, but I also didn’t expect to get this artifact and be found out either. So from my failures we shall birth revenge. I have a pretty good idea where they’re basing themselves. The ruins in the center of the woods provide not only a nice place to hide supplies, but also some spires to park their ships.”

“So… what do we actually do?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight, frowning, reached for Rarity’s hand. Rarity squeezed it and then gesturing to Fluttershy, began to walk towards the tree line.

“We don’t have a lot of material to work with. My cover in town is… delicate, at best. My shop and all my tools have been blown to bits. But I have my wits, and Twilight’s knowledge, and your flight. And also,” she added with a twisting smile, “the confidence that I can rely on you both. I think the best thing we can do is show them what happens when they piss off a thief and then tie their ships unattended out here in the woods.”

~~~

Velvet arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage to find it deserted.

She growled, and gave Pinkie and Dash a sidelong look.

“If they aren’t here, I don’t know where they’d be,” Pinkie said. “Honest! I’m worried now.”

“You weren’t before?” Rainbow asked, leaning against the cottage. She flared her wings and crossed her arms. “I mean, honestly. She was holding a gun! She is still holding it.”

Velvet rolled her eyes. “Pinkie knows as well as I do that I couldn’t shoot my daughters friends quite so boldly. Intimidate them, sure, defend myself, sure. Pay attention.” She swiveled back to Pinkie, who crouched in the dirt as she holstered her side arm. “My daughter and that criminal are out here somewhere. Out there. They are together. I’m not sure which to be more angry about. But I can put both aside until I know she is safe. I know the Specter and that artifact are going to put her in danger. I think you two might just care about that as well, no?”

“I thought for sure they would be here…” Pinkie picked at the grass, and then seemed to decide something. She stood. “I don’t know where they are, but if I know Rarity, she won’t take what’s happened lying down. She’ll get even. Rarity always comes out on top in the end.”

Velvet scoffed at that, and Pinkie managed to look defiant about it.

“Yeah, well, unless she’s in the navy now…” Rainbow groused. “I mean, the shop is busted.”

“And airships are rather mobile, especially those skiffs…” Velvet licked her lips. “Pinkie, I have a question. Twilight tells me you’re good at these.”

“At what?”

“Imagine you are a ship.”

“I’m a ship!”

“Where exactly would you want to sleep for the night, being a ship?”

Pinkie burst into a grin. “You don’t think…”

“It’s either the old ruins or its the gorge. I doubt its Ghastly Gorge.”

“Celestia, I hope not,” Rainbow said, pushing off the cottage. “The ruins?”

Velvet nodded. “The ones in the forest. I believe it used to be an old royal castle? Early Equestria wasn’t my strong suit. But I know its there, and I know the roads still lead to it.” She hummed, and then pulled a small notebook from her backpocket, thumbing through.

“Right. Warding… true direction… that should be enough. If you two will stand close, I believe I can get us through these woods in no time.”