Sighing heavily and massaging her temples, Sunset was thankful that the Christmas Break was fast approaching. Otherwise, she would be extremely burned out by all of the passive-aggressive comments, the assaults on her mind, and the mysteries. Pinkie comfortingly rubbed her uninjured shoulder, giving her an encouraging smile. Sunset smiled back, feeling better than last time. At least, there was no nausea to speak of and even her shoulder was calming down in terms of pain.
"Ah, Sunset Shimmer," Vice-Principal Luna suddenly appeared. "Celestia and I would like to have a word with you, please." A nod towards the office door. "It's very urgent."
Sunset raised a suspicious eyebrow but obeyed, waving Pinkie a temporary goodbye before following Luna into the office. It was no doubt related to Anon-a-Miss and she braced herself for the flurry of accusations her way. But surprisingly, both the principal and vice-principal did not look at her with any contempt or hatred whatsoever. Sunset was confused but uttered a mere huff of breath to signal her arrival.
"Ah, Sunset," Principal Celestia looked up, a gentle smile on her face. "It's so good to see you. Please, please, take a seat." As Sunset did so, her smile turned into a frown, though it still retained a gentle manner. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
"Well," Sunset stuttered, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. "Do you want the honest answer or the nice answer?"
"I don't think you need to answer this question, Sunset," Celestia shook her head. "Nurse Redheart told me what happened. She was quite worried about you. As were we when we heard the news." She sighed, rubbing her temples. "Believe us when we tell you, Sunset, that this is quite concerning to us. Not just as a school, but also as..." She swallowed, looking away. "This is a very serious matter, Sunset. Talking about erasing yourself is a seriously concerning thing." Her eyes shone concernedly as she leaned in a little closer.
"Sunset, I want to recommend you to a counselor. A good counselor that can help you with all of your needs."
"A counselor," Sunset raised an eyebrow. "But Principal Celestia, I'm fine. I really am."
That sentence turned out to be a big mistake.
"Fine," Principal Celestia repeated, her eyes narrowing. Her tone was tranquil yet filled with a hidden fury. "You say that you, Sunset Shimmer, are fine. Alright then, tell me. What would you call having to what was happening in the nurse's office, hm? What would you call that? Nurse Redheart was practically in tears when she told me of what transpired that day. She was so convinced that you were going to hurt yourself. What would you call that?"
"Easy, sister, easy," Vice-Principal Luna intervened while flashing Sunset an apologetic smile. "Shall I handle this, Celestia?"
"Yes," Celestia replied, nodding her head. "I need some time to clear my head. If you will excuse me."
She stood up and walked out the door, leaving the atmosphere in the office quite cold. Sunset swallowed the lump growing. She looked to Vice-Principal Luna who was thankfully smiling at her apologetically. She didn't mean to strike a raw nerve but it happened and she was at a loss as to what to do. Luckily, Vice-Principal Luna didn't seem to be as angry as Celestia, which, give or take Sunset's options, was a relief. She didn't know what she do would do if Luna was also angry.
"Please do not be rattled with Celestia," Luna spoke. "She had to go through a similar incident with me, so she can be testy."
"Ah, no, it's alright," Sunset sheepishly replied. "I can understand."
"Regardless of her tone, however," Luna's voice got softer. "I do agree with her in the essence of seeking out guidance." She raised a hand when Sunset opened her mouth to protest. "Let me explain, Sunset. Seeking out guidance is not any absence, lack, or downsize of any sort of courage or strength of mind. But it is a sign that the problems that you're facing need a little outside help from someone who knows how to deal with these things."
"Well, the problems that I'm facing may not be within their range." Sunset smiled sardonically.
"True, true," Luna replied, returning the smile. "But regarding the scene within the nurse's office, I feel that it can hit close to home even here, no?" When Sunset didn't reply, she sighed as she rubbed her neck shyly. "Just think about it, Sunset. I don't want to force you to do something that you don't want to do. But it would help you tons like it helped me a long time ago."
"Thanks, Vice-Principal Luna," Sunset smiled, nodding her head. "I will think about it."
"Alrighty then. And don't worry about Celestia. I'll talk to her soon."
Sunset left the office and was about to collapse right there and then when she spotted Pinkie waiting for her. She and Pinkie walked to the library to eat some lunch since the cafeteria was out of the question. As she and Pinkie settled down, she saw, much to her pleasant surprise, an empty table next to the manga section. She and Pinkie giggled in delight as they sat down and began to whisper about the new releases that season. It was nice. It harkened back to old times where she felt wanted.
"Hey," Rainbow's voice startled her out of her happiness bubble. "We need to talk."
Sunset turned around to see Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack approach them with glaring eyes. She sighed as she rubbed her fingers on her temples. She really did not want to deal with them right now, but Murphy's law declared that she had to. This, she surmised, just had to be punishment for her past mistakes. Ah, karma. Sometimes it was great and sometimes it was no help at all. She felt a comforting squeeze on her shoulder. Pinkie. She frowned.
Wait.
Where was Fluttershy?
"Hey, don't ignore us," Rainbow growled. "We want to talk to you!"
"Talk to me," Sunset repeated. "Do you really want to talk to me? Or is this another chance for you girls to bellyache on me?" She then frowned as she did a mental headcount. "Hey, wait. Where's Fluttershy? Did she not come with you girls?"
"She's absent today," Rarity said as she fidgeted. "She said that she wasn't feeling well today, so she's taking a day off." But a severe frown crossed her face. "Of course, I don't know why you're so bothered. As it is, you hate us, don't you?"
Hate them.
Hate.
Sunset bit back the bitter chuckled bubbling within her throat. It was a strong word that Rarity used just now. It was also the most incorrect word for this situation. As much as Sunset was completely done with this situation, hate was not the term. At no point would she feel complete and utter hatred for the girls. Hatred was something visceral, something toxic, something, something festering like pus on an open wound.
No.
There was no hatred to be had here.
But she couldn't deny that she, at least, felt angry and betrayed. No, those weren't the only emotions in her. There were lots more where that came from. There were such emotions as sadness, guilt, fear, the list was endless. But right now, emotions such as those were not present right now. No, the only emotion within her was a tiredness. She was burnt out beyond belief and comprehension.
"No," Sunset replied. "No, I don't hate you. I'm just tired. Tired and burnt out."
"Burnt out," Applejack narrowed her eyes. "What do ya gotta be burnt out for?"
"With all of this. Anon-a-Miss, my past, everything. Everything has been weighing me down and, until recently, I could never, ever escape from that torment. It was horrible. At least you girls had each other to comfort each other. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Twilight was busy with her duties as a princess and everyone was either afraid of being the next target or were on my case just like you. I was so tired, angry, sad, you name it. It was as if every day was hell on Earth. And unlike Fall Formal, I didn't even do this. But you girls were so willing to throw me to the wolves that it felt like nothing I did mattered anymore."
She took a deep breath before continuing. She didn't want her emotions to take over.
"It was so easy to be mad at you, even if I didn't hate you. After all, you girls acted so smug and superior towards me, never once thinking that you could be wrong. Even though you needed to be taught the lesson of friendship and trust over again! Twice, in fact, by the Princess Twilight Sparkle. Yet you continue to jump to conclusions and boast about your Elements as if it shields you girls of any fault or folly whatsoever!"
She was ranting at this point, she knew. And she certainly didn't like how the girls flinched at every hostile word out of her.
But she was done playing nice with these three stubborn girls.
At least, she wasn't going to sugarcoat her words anymore.
"You know what it proved to me? Not only did it prove to me that no matter what I did, it was ultimately a failure in the end. No, it also proved that our friendship was nothing more than a contract that could easily be broken with just one thing, one catalyst, to end it all. It doesn't matter whether it was the Dazzlings or Anon-a-Miss. If it could cause havoc, you three will be at the forefront of it all! Why? Because you three are so stubborn and sure in your self-righteousness that the mere thought of being wrong never crosses your mind!"
"Now you listen here." Applejack began, but was promptly cut off by Pinkie shaking her head.
"What's worse is that you girls made this whole thing worse by throwing me to the wolves instead of actually talking to me! I just don't get it. Is the idea of talking to me so out of this world that you thought that throwing me to the wolves was better? Didn't you think that it would backfire on you spectacularly at all? Not only is Anon-a-Miss successful in breaking our bonds, it also broke every bond within this school! You practically undid all of the hard work that Twilight did here! And for what?!"
"Hey, this wasn't our fault," Rainbow weakly spat back. "This was Anon-a-Miss's doing!"
"True, they started this fight with us, but ultimately you girls made it stronger by creating a scene right where everyone saw! If I did that, would you allow it? No! You would rightly call me out on making a scene in front of everyone seeing it! So, what, if any reason, makes you think that you are exempt from this kind of behavior! Tell me!"
When they didn't reply, Sunset gave an apologetic look to Pinkie, who looked down guiltily, before continuing.
"But if that wasn't enough, you girls didn't listen to me! You girls didn't want to listen to me at all even when I begged you to! Nope, you girls just went on telling everyone that I was guilty right there and then! You even slapped me for it! I still feel that burn on my cheek! What made you think that resorting to violence would be a great idea! Shouldn't I slap you then? After all I've been wronged too!"
The three girls stepped back, fear on their faces.
"And you know what accusing me led to? Nothing but people bullying each other, mocking each other, and beating me up in two weeks repeatedly because they thought I was Anon-a-Miss! When I don't even have the password for that dumb, stupid, account! Moreover, if it were me, I wouldn't be this transparent! You girls know that! You girls have known me for some time before the Fall Formal!"
She flung her arms upward in frustration, mindful of Pinkie behind her.
"But there are two things that just kill me inside. One is that you girls are walking the same path that I did. Sure, reasoning is different. But the path is still the same! And that's terrifying! You don't want that! You don't want that at all! It's dark, scary, a nightmare to climb out of, and your future and reputation will be in tatters! I don't want that for you girls! And I don't want a high school like Canterlot High to go down that path either!"
She took a deep breath before going to her next point.
"And the second thing is that you girls will not learn from this experience. You girls didn't learn from the time before the Fall Formal, you girls didn't learn in time for the Battle of the Bands, and you girls are probably not going to learn here. If you do find the real Anon-a-Miss, you'll get mad at them instead of getting mad at yourselves for escalating this whole thing! You're probably just gonna blame them instead of me for the next bad thing that's happening instead of the possible real bad guy! It's a lesson that just refuses to stick with you girls!"
At this point, she was panting hard. Sweat was dripping down her forehead and she felt tears blur her vision. The three girls she was ranting stood stock-still, jaws dropped. Miss Cheerilee was standing a little ways behind them, eyes widened. Oops. Ah well. She really couldn't care right now. This needed to be said and, by Celestia, she was gonna say it!
"I don't hate you. The reason I say this is because I care for you. The path I took was horrible and I don't want you girls doing that anytime soon. That being said, I don't want you to think that your actions towards me can be excused just because you, among millions, are the Elements of Harmony. Please, just think about what I said, okay?"
So saying, she left the library with Pinkie on her heels, leaving the other three behind.