//------------------------------//
// Chapter 13 
// Story: A Displaced Radio Demon 
// by Rob_Rhapsody 
//------------------------------//

I’ve been waiting a while and I believe today is the day the pillars send the sirens to CHS. 

“Now, where to begin?” I asked myself. I was currently watching the show of their fight with the sirens. “Perhaps I should show myself after they send them away….” I thought out loud. I grinned widely and watched them send the sirens away.

I walked out into the open and slowly clapped. -Static- “wonderful performance, ponies, I really enjoyed watching you send those sour notes packing!”I said, grinning.

“It’s you! What are you doing here demon!” Said Rockhoof, pointing his hoof at me.

I just kept grinning. “Enjoying the show! What else?” I said. I walked around them to look at where the portal was. “Of course you realize you just doomed another world by sending them through that portal.” I said, making them look at each other in confusion.

“What are you talking about? Speak demon!” Said Starswirl.

“Because that is where you sent them, now I believe the show is over so I’ll be taking my leave now.” I said, beginning to walk away.

“Hold it right there!” Said Flash Magnus.

I just grinned at him. “I don’t know how you came to this realm, but we are going to send you back where you came from.” Said Mistmane.-Static-

I just kept smiling. “I would love to see you try.” Is all I said, before they began working their magic. My smile shrunk to a small one. ‘I am so screwed!’ -Static-



“Begone demon! Return from whence you came!” Said Starswirl.

‘Yup, I’m screwed.’ The pillars opened a portal beneath me and I fell through. 

 All around was a fire vortex with the souls of the damned screaming, arms bursting from the flames in an attempt to grab in, I used my cane to hit them away. The vortex became more violent the further I went, and now more and more hands were reaching out to grab many with barely any flesh remaining on them. Then finally I reached the bottom and the vortex was gone.

“You have got to be kidding me!” I deadpanned. All around me was a bunch of scenery from Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. In the sky was a large pentagram.  And I was in the middle of a run down city on the other side of the street was a vending machine selling drugs, the crime rate was high as many sinners and demons killed each other without a second thought and no one cared. “Yup I’m in hell.” I said as another couple of demons ran past me.

“Since I’m here, I might as well get a place to live.” I said to myself. ‘After that, I can go back to the pillar’s headquarters and scare them shitless.’

I walked around till I found a hotel, then walked inside with a grin on my face. At the desk was a red imp reading a paper. The imp looked up from his paper at me and his eyes grew wide. “Can I help you?” He asked rudely.

“I believe so! Would you happen to have a room available?” I asked.

“Go fuck yourself.” The imp said flipping the page.

My smile shrunk. I grabbed him by the throat and showed my demonic form. “D̵̼͉̆̒̿ó̶̻̭̝̚͘ ̴̩͊͗y̷̹͒o̶̺͓̜̕͝͝ŭ̷͖̞̻͊̕ ̶̭̝͊͒̕ẅ̸̭̦͝a̶̲̱̺͆̓̾n̸͕͕͎͋̅̾ţ̶̭̎̓ ̸̺̭̋͂t̵͚́̉́ö̵̫͇͚́͋̚ ̸̢̹̌͝ṭ̴̢̂͝r̵̿ͅy̶̭͒͝ ̵͈̲̈͛͑ť̵̯̼̞͊ḥ̴̬̰͑̈ả̸̪̍ṭ̸̯̋͐̑ ̵͕̲̇͗a̵͍͋g̸̣͓̊ͅa̴̢͉̓́̿i̷̝̬̅͜ṇ̸̾͝?̴̥͛͐” asked.

He started gagging and sweating profusely. “Room 5b.” He said handing me a key.

“Splendid!” I said changing to normal. I dropped the imp and took the key.

I headed to the room, walked in, then locked the door. The room was a spacious one with a view of the street.

“A little garish, but it will have to do.” I said to myself. I went to the bed and set down a radio to tether me to this room. I then pulled out my cane and tapped it on the ground. On the floor appeared a portal to the living world. I jumped in it and ended up right in the middle of the Pillar’s base of operations.

They weren’t here so I sat on the windowsill and waited for them to return. 

Finally they returned all smug about banishing me.

They didn’t notice me until I began to sing “Love is a burning thing. And it makes a fiery ring. Bound by wild desire. I fell in a ring of fire! I fell into a burning ring of fire! Went down, down, down! And the flames went higher! And it burns, burns, burns! The ring of fire! The ring of fire!” I sang.

“You didn’t actually believe that would work did you?” I asked.

“How did you return, demon?!” Starswirl asked.

I just grinned and chuckled a bit. “I’m not your ordinary demon, I’m a demon overlord, I can’t be banished! However, if you want me to leave you alone, you’d have to make a deal with me.” I told them.

“We don't make deals with demons.” Starswirl said.

“One of you has, tell them Rockhoof!” I said, making them all look to Rockhoof. 

He looked ashamed before saying. “He gave me the strength to save my village.” He told them.

“I gave him strength when he needed it, And now he owes me.” I told them

The pillars look at Rockhoof in disappointment then mistmane steps forward. “What is it he owes you, demon?” 

“My name is Alastor, and he owes me a favor, failure to deliver will result in him losing his strength, and his soul will belong to me.” I said, giving them all a wicked grin.

Starswirl glares at me. “And what exactly is this favor? Do you want him to kill us so you have no resistance when you take over our world?” He asked.

“Where’s the fun in that? If I wanted to kill you,Ń̶̨̩̓̇̋͠o̷̢̥̤̎̈́͐t̷͇̩̖̺͉͐̀͋̿͊h̷̞͋̌i̴̛͔̳͈̖̇̇̀͝n̸͙̮̉̆́̾g̵̰̈́̈͛ ̴̗͂w̶̜̠̼̔͌ő̴̡̺̪̱͜ų̷̟̣̦̀̔̈́̽̐l̴͈͚͎͂̚͜ḓ̵̣͐͋ ̶̦͙̹͓͓͂s̷̡̧̜̭͙͗͛̊t̶͈̲̹̆̌̍o̸̥̗̍̔͆p̷̢͎̮̜̯̊͂͘ ̸̝̞̩͖̃͝m̸̪͚̙̬̬̈́e̴̬̘̭̠̐͑̆̄͘.̶͚̗͐
” I told them, letting my demon side show. I went to normal. “However this world needs you all at the moment, And I haven’t decided on what the favor will be, but you might want to get your hat checked. It must be cutting off the blood flow to your brain.” I told him, taking his hat and putting it on the table. “Because you seem to be very ignorant, and last time I checked, pride is one of the seven deadly sins. Keep acting that way and it will come back to haunt you” I warned. I was about to leave before another one of them stopped me.

Flash Magnus flew in front of me holding his shield. “Hold it demon, we can't let you roam free!”

I took my cane and used it to gently push him to the side. “For the second time! My name is Alastor, my intentions for this world do not include harming ponies, and you of all ponies should understand the difference between bravery and stupidity, but I guess not, farewell.” I said walking through the doors while twirling my cane.

They all shout and chase me. “Come back here!” one yells then another. “Foul beast stop!” and the most annoying of all. “Don't you dare move!”

I turn around and grin before bringing down my cane like nanny McPhee and opening a portal back to hell. I fell through and saw them looking down through the portal as I fell. The first time it was terrible, now, it’s more like an elevator. The other end of the portal opened up back in my hotel room. I look through the portal and can just barely see them watching me so I grin and wave at them like a goof before the portal closes.

I go to the nightstand and take my radio and put it away inside my coat. I get into bed and go to sleep.

—The Next Day—

I walked out of the hotel and decided now would be a good time to begin my rise into power. “Out of my way freak!” Someone said as they passed me and pushed me. 

‘Ah my first victim.’ I snapped my fingers and they got ripped apart by tentacles that came out of a portal. I began walking through the streets and humming a happy tune.

The demons around seem surprised at how easily I killed that fool. They began avoiding me as I walked through. I continued to walk until one of the demon overlords dirtied my clothes by intentionally splashing into a puddle and laughing.

“You should watch where you are going, you filthy peasant.” He said with a deep chuckle. I took one look at him and could tell he was a muscle head, easy enough to kill or trick. But that’s not satisfying enough, torture will be more fun. I took my cane and bashed him on the head and teleported us both to an empty warehouse. I strapped him to a chair and waited for him to wake up.

“What!? How the hell did a weakling like you get me here!?” he growls and starts to grow larger transforming into his demon form. I bop him in the head.

“Now, now, I’ll have none of that.” I said snapping my fingers. As soon as I did there was an old early 1900’s microphone in front of him. “Now that the radios are set up around town, time to begin the broadcast!” I said.

He looks at the microphone then laughs. “If you expect me to beg for my life you are sorely mistaken all I have to do is say the word and you'll be killed by my armies.” 

“Oh no! Whatever will I do?” I feigned fear then grinned. “Your army is right behind you!” I said turning his chair around to reveal his army, gagged and restrained.

“What in the nine hells?! Who the hell are you!?” He yells before starting to struggle.

“My name is Alastor, but you may call me the Radio Demon.” I said with a bow. “Now let’s begin with the fun!” I said looking into his eyes and shifting to my demon form and beginning the torture after moving the microphone closer so the audience could hear his screams of pain and agony.

After only an hour of torture the demon lord begins begging for his life. “No more! I give up! Take my land, I just want to live!”

“I don’t think so, I want you to beg for death!” I said continuing the torture. His minions whimper and beg for their lives.

“Aaaahh! No no more!” He begs and cries loud enough that the microphone can easily pick it up.

“Oh come now! You can do better than that!” I said getting a rotary drill and drilling it into his arm.

He screams in pain and struggles, one of his arms breaks free and he tries to pull himself free. “Please no more! I don't want to die!”

“Oh! But when I’m finished you’ll wish you were! This is what you get for splashing dirty water on my suit!” Said fixing his restraints.

He looks at me terrified but before I can continue the sound of an air raid siren goes off in every direction and this makes his eyes widen even more and he starts thrashing around in his restraints. “Let me go! They are coming! We need to hide!” 

“Why, We’re just getting started!” I said laughing. His eyes widen and he struggles harder. 

“You don't get it, the angels are coming! They will kill us all! Let me go and you can use my bunker!” He pleaded.

“No! I’m gonna let you burn!” I said reinforcing his restraints and leaving. I walked through a door and left it open, so the angels could enter.

Not too long after leaving the warehouse an angel drops from the sky in front of me. their grin almost matching my own as they lift their sword. “Another piece of trash to destroy, oh joy.” they said in a voice that was both male and female.

“I was thinking the same thing.” I said as I grabbed them by the throat and lifted them up. Once they were up, I snapped their neck. I took their weapon and scabbard and hooked it to my belt. I picked up the angel and went back into the warehouse and the demon from before was still there, I tossed the dead angel in front of him. “Order your army to follow me, or suffer the same fate as that angel.” I told him.

“Ok! Ok! Fuck I order you all to work for this guy now!”  He said as he pisses himself out of fear.

I snapped my fingers and released them all. I grabbed the leader by the neck. He gasps and wiggles. “Y-you said I could go!” He cried.

“Pledge your loyalty to me and apologize for splashing water on me!” I told him.

“Yes! yes! I am sorry for your suit, I’ll do anything you want!” He said through his gasps. 

“Alright then!” I said letting him go, dropping him back onto the chair. “But if you disobey or wrong me in any way, I’ll make this torture seem like a prick on your finger by comparison!” I told him.

He nods and whimpers terrified of me. “Yes! I understand I am so sorry!” 

I bitch slapped him. “MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU!” I yelled while slapping him.

He is knocked onto the ground and groans. “What do I have to do sir?” He asked.

“Bring us all to your bunker.” I ordered him.

“Yes sir right away.” He said, panicked. He gets up and starts to lead us out of the warehouse and down to some old looking apartments but before we could get any further three angels fell down around us killing him and some of my new slaves.. I mean employees.

I took out the sword and killed all but one in a matter of seconds. I disarmed the angel and knocked it out. “Take that, I want it alive, for interrogation.” I said with a grin. I gathered up their weapons and put them into a small pocket dimension.

Just as I finish that I spot something small moving around in an alley near me. I hear a trash can fall over and a young female voice. “Oh no so dirty, I have to clean, but the angels, but I need to clean!” 

‘Oh no, I remember that voice…… it’s Nifty, I better help her.’ I walked over to the trash cans and grabbed Nifty by her clothes and held her up.

She looks up at me with her large adorable eye. “Who are you mister? Aren't you worried about the angels?” Then she gasps and points at my suit. “Your suit is dirty let me clean it please!” 

I just kept smiling and turned around. “I don’t suppose anyone else knows where the fool’s bunker is?” I said pointing at the body of what would have been my general.

One of them slowly raises his hand. “Um..I do b-boss, uh I’ll lead the way.” He starts to lead me but give a short burst of static to get their attention and point to the angel. “Oh um yeah.” He turns to some other men and orders them to take the angel with us. Then he leads us through the decaying city to a meat shop. Once we get inside he pays the butcher who opens up his freezer we headed inside and then he opens up a hatch on the floor that leads into a large fully furnished bunker.

“Splendid, now tie that thing up.” I began. “You However shall begin cleaning up.” I told Nifty dropping her to the floor.

She gasps with a cheerful squeal then rushes around cleaning up. First she dusts everything, then she starts washing dishes, then she starts laundry on bedsheets.

‘When I get back to Equestria, back in normal time, I should bring Nifty with me, Twilight would love her.’ I thought to myself. Just then the angel began waking up.

“Ugh, what sinner hit me?” They said looking around before seeing me and their face lit up with a psychotic grin. “Oh, do I still get to play?”

I slapped the angel. “Wipe that smile off your face!” I yelled at it.

The angle starts to laugh. “You sinners are all the same.” They look at me and start turning their head slowly. “Worthless scum that needs to be destroyed.” the angle finished with their head spinning all the way around. 

“Is spinning your head on 360 really necessary?” I deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

“Awww normally that makes you sinners shiver a little, even the tough ones.” The angel said, still grinning. 

“I’m desensitized, so that’s not gonna work on me, and how am I scum? You and your kind have been purging us just because we made mistakes in our past lives, how can something like you possibly have gone to heaven? I know HE is forgiving, but why would he purge those who could possibly redeem themselves.” I said. I got close to the angel. “By the way, since you are here strapped to this chair, you can’t leave, I’ve been casting a spell since we arrived and I just finished it, now, you’re stuck down here, with us.” I said grinning.

The face goes blank before turning into a frown. “You don't have that kind of power sinner, and it is exactly because you mortals could redeem yourself that we purge you. You think hell is overcrowded?” They chuckle like a mad person. “Heaven is so overcrowded that us angels are sick of it. If any more of you mortals show up there, we are likely to stage another rebellion and wipe out your pathetic race.”

“So, you hate us because we can redeem ourselves…….. I KNEW IT!, thank you for slipping up and telling me exactly what I wanted to know!” I said taking the sword and lopping his head off. ‘This means Charlie was right, oh wait, I’ll have to wait a while until she arrives. At least I will have plenty to do here.” I thought to myself.

The head of the angle laughs even while decapitated. “If you think we would risk our real selves to come down to this pit then you are a fool as well as scum.” 

“Then you’re the true fool, because you have underestimated me, I already knew you weren’t really here so I’ve just been  stalling until my shadow could kill you.” I said.

“Your shadow? How dumb do you think I am? You have no way of getting all the way up to heaven ha ha ha ha!” The head said before the face changes and goes blank before the sounds of a scream can be heard. 

All the other demons in the room looked at the head then looked at me in fear. “I tried to warn him.” I said. My shadow came out of a portal with the true body of the angel and tossed it unceremoniously onto the ground. “Did you place the radio?” I asked. The shadow nodded and went back to its place. 

“Um...what are you gonna do..sir?” One imp asked, shaking in fear. 

“Spread fear, and let them know I’m a force to be reckoned with, but first we need to bring in a few scientists and engineers, they need to figure out how that thing works, and if we can make our own.” I said pointing at the false angel.

The imp nods and gulps. “And the bleeding angel? More will no doubt come looking for them and try to kill us all.”

“You heard it, it’s crowded up there, I just did them a favor. We shall take the body and have it stuffed and mounted after an autopsy.” I said.

The imp nods and smiles a bit. “Ok sir, we will get to work.” They take the fake and real angel away. 

“Je vais profiter de ça.” I said in Cajun French.