Branches rake across my body, creating cuts beneath my fur as I run deeper into the forest where Luna fell. Whatever that flash of light was, it either knocked her out or killed her.
Shit shit shit shit! Luna can’t be dead. Who the fuck would just do that? Wait, if something could knock her out in one shot — she better just be knocked out — can I really save her from it?
Shaking my head to force out the thoughts of running away, I continue to charge forward. All the normal tools in my toolbelt, like reason and planning, were thrown out in favor of a single-minded desire to fucking save Luna.
Hopefully when I find the asshole responsible, my earth pony strength will help me kick some flank. My newfound endurance is already proving incredibly useful in this chase. I can feel my muscles tense and release in sudden bursts with every stride like the pistons of a train barreling through the country.
I come to a clearing and stop. This feels like it should be close to where Luna dropped. I look around, desperately trying to find some sign of her fall, but there’s nothing I can learn in the darkness. Then I hear the rustle of branches nearby; it’s slowly fading. Something’s leaving the area.
I sprint in the direction of the noise. I see a blur of white through the leaves and launch myself at it. This has to be the person who hit Luna, no one else would be in this forest at night. Whoever this is, I’m going to kill them. Time seems to slow as I soar through the air. I’m right on target. The blur of a white coat comes into focus. I extend my forehooves out to bring my full weight to bear on the assailant when my vision explodes with gold and I’m suddenly struck back by a solid force.
My direction reverses and my back hits a tree before I fall to the ground. Something like that would have easily knocked me out on earth, but this new body has its perks. I look up and see that the golden light was a sphere like what I had seen Celestia use when she ran the gauntlet, but this one was far larger and shaped like a hemisphere emanating from the ground.
I see a magical aura emanating from an object within the shield, that object being the mare I had just spent the evening talking and stargazing with. I quickly identify the source of the magic next. It’s a long white horn attached to… Celestia.
What‽ No, I’m being crazy. Celestia must have already taken out whoever attacked her sister.
I stand up with a relieved smile, “Thank god you’re here. Who-,” and then I freeze. I see the mare I’ve befriended, who’s heart I broke three days ago, but those aren’t her eyes. They look cold and dead like that of a shark in a frenzy. They are the eyes of a killer.
Okay, she’s a changeling. A changeling came to kidnap Luna and I have to kill it. Easy, I hope. At least that’s straightforward.
I charge towards her shield and press against it, trying to will it to let me pass through. Having no such luck, I begin beating my forehooves against it. Maybe with enough force, I can get it to crack.
“If it were anypony else I’d ask them to refrain from blaspheming,” Celestia bows her head as though to show respect. “But I suppose you have special permissions,” the Celestia doppelganger says without a hint of emotion in her voice.
“Celestia, what’s going on?” I figure I’ll play this changeling’s game for now, although I don’t stop trying to force my way in through the shield. Oh shit! If this is really Celestia and she saw me with Luna, maybe she thought I rejected her for her sister. “If you saw the two of us earlier-”
I turn around and begin a series of practiced bucks against the shield. My earth pony bootcamp has really been coming in handy tonight.
“Actually, I’m surprised to see you. I always knew my sister to stargaze alone, apparently that wasn’t the case tonight. And you can stop pounding on my shield? You’re making your hooves bleed.”
I stop bucking and check my back hooves and see my dark orange coat has been stained red. I give up on brute forcing the shield and turn towards this crazy version of Celestia. “Wait, so if you weren’t here because of me-”
“Oh no Astraeus, I very much am here because of you.” There’s so much hate in her voice. “Whether you know it or not, you’re an agent of Faust, and this is clearly a test.” Okay, weird view of me as some kind of angel, this might be the real Celestia. She moves to the side to reveal a pile of sticks and logs that move. And have spots that glow like radioactive green eyes... Oh shit! Sleeping timberwolves!
Hold on. Passed out Luna, pissed off Celestia, timberwolves, apparently my fault. Oh fuck. “This is about Nightmare Moon isn’t it?”
“Of course, it is!” she shouts, surprisingly not waking Luna or the timberwolves. “You really thought I could just be content to let ponies, FOALS, be slaughtered by my own sister? You seriously misjudged me. This might be the most abhorrent thing I’ve ever done and hopefully will ever do, but I will protect my people. Even from her.”
“Fuck! Celestia, you don’t have to do this.”
A light smile forms on her face. It does nothing to ease the hard look in her eyes. “Oh really? Then you’ll do it? I’d actually really appreciate that.” She effortlessly drops the shield I’d spent so long trying to get through and levitates a knife in my direction, point first, until it’s just inches away from my face. Then she turns it around and I take the handle in my right forehoof.
I carefully look between the unconscious Luna to my right, the timberwolf pile in front of me, and this evil mare with Celestia’s face to my left. I have no idea what to do, so stalling for time sounds like the best option. “So, why the knife? Don’t the wolves kind of make it obsolete?”
“The knife was my backup. I didn’t know how easily I could find a beast to do it for me.”
“Why bother? She’s already unconscious. Just stab her. Or better yet, use some of your fire magic. I don’t think Luna is as strong as the plates you and Starswirl have.”
“Please refrain from joking around,” Celestia growls. “I’d prefer this to be as indirect as possible. Using magic is too personal. Though it may surprise you, I don’t want to. Kill. My. Sister!”
“Then why the fuck are you‽ No one’s making you! Not me; not your god. This is all you, Celestia!” I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as a ringing begins in my ears. If I don’t think of something fast, this is going to end badly.
“Don’t you dare say that! I don’t have a choice! You refuse to help me make sure she doesn’t go bad, and that’s apparently inevitable without your intervention!” Celestia is screaming at this point. I’d be hopeful somepony might come and help if this wasn’t such a remote forest. “So one way or another, my baby sister’s going to have to die tonight. Can’t you at least have the decency to not make me do it on my own?”
I’m breathing heavily. I still have the knife, and there’s no way I’m killing Luna. I don’t stand a chance against Celestia, and besides I can’t kill her either. Equestria needs both princesses, and honestly I’ve grown to like them both (at least before the older one decided to go all murder-crazy on me, but that’s kind of on me for letting her find out about Nightmare Moon).
“No,” I proclaim. “I’m not going to murder your sister, and neither are you.”
A spark of hope pierces Celestia’s eyes, “So you’ll help me stop her from becoming that thing?” Her voice is desperate and pleading.
I hesitate. If I try to do anything that stops Nightmare Moon, who knows what kind of impact it’ll have on the future of not just these two but every pony that will ever be born. Maybe Twilight never meets her friends and becomes a princess. Every threat to Equestria that she stopped could be devastating: Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek, even the Storm King from that movie with Sia in it!
I shake my head, “It’s too much of a risk. But if you just wait it out-”
“No,” Celestia’s voice hits me hard as marble. “I will not let my sister become a killer, even if it means becoming one myself.” With that, she turns her attention to the sleeping timberwolves and fires a blast of golden light at them. They groggily rise, gazes fixed on Luna as Celestia gently places her on the ground.
Then Celestia’s voice becomes no more than a gentle whisper, as though she’s tucking a child in for bed, “Don’t worry sister, I promise you won’t feel a thing.” My brain can’t seem to keep pace with what’s happening. I just watch in horror as Celestia turns around, tears falling freely from her eyes.
The snap of a branch brings me out of my stupor and I see the timberwolves begin to advance on Luna. My mind goes blank. Suddenly I remember that I’m holding a knife, and all that exists in the world is Luna and her attackers. I launch myself between them with a burst of speed I didn’t know I was capable of. Taking the knife in my teeth, I free up my forehooves to plant on the ground and turn to give the closest one a solid buck to the face. Pain lances up my legs, my hooves are still injured from my assault on Celestia’s shield, but I ignore it and turn to face the timberwolves. The one I hit reels back, leaving me with three more coming at me head on.
I am distantly aware that Celestia shouted something, but my brain hasn’t allocated enough resources to figure out what she’s saying.
Biting down hard on the knife, I use my neck to imitate a slashing motion as best as I can with my head. This isn’t exactly something I’ve done before. Thankfully, I make contact with one of the timberwolves. Unfortunately, the blade sinks in and stays there; I’m forced to release my bite.
The one I stabbed in the shoulder lets out a growl and approaches first. I move back and just barely dodge a swipe from its claws. I get the terrifying sense that these things are still sleepy. What the fuck can they do when they’re fully awake?
One of the uninjured ones slashes at me and makes contact. I’m thrown to the ground by the force and it approaches, the other two continue towards the still unmoving Luna. There’s only one thing on my mind as I put all my energy into getting to her.
I roll out from under my attacker and manage to get between Luna and the two timberwolves right before one of them was about to take its first bite. Unfortunately, this means I’m the substitute entrée.
I let out a cry as I experience the most excruciating pain of my life. As a kid, I was bitten by a dog once; that scared me more than it hurt. This, however, was like pulses of fire rippling throughout my body starting from the point where its sharp wooden teeth sunk into my back.
I lose all ability to hold my weight up and collapse on Luna. It takes everything in my power to hold onto her, using every inch of myself to try and shield her from the assault of teeth and claws. I can feel the cool sensation of blood-loss spreading, but I continue to clutch Luna’s limp form.
This is it. I’m really going to die. Here in this fucked up warped version of my favorite TV show. The worst part is, it’ll all be for nothing. I know I’m not saving Luna. Once these things take me out, they won’t stop. My only chance at either of us surviving is…
“…promise me!” Celestia’s words ring out in my ears long enough for me to focus. I turn my head and see her terrified face. This isn’t the unfeeling mare who was ready to throw her sister to a literal pack of wolves. This was Celestia, the pony who refuses to resent others for never treating her like an equal, the pony who’s spent weeks trying to return me to my home. Her eyes are flooded with concern and terror in equal measure and she’s shouting something at me, “Promise me you won’t let her become that! I can’t let her hurt ponies! I won’t! Promise me and I can end this! Please!”
There’s no other choice. I have to give her what she wants. Holding onto the final strings of consciousness I manage to utter out, “Fine… I- I promise…”
As the pain becomes too much to bear, I see the telltale flash of Celestia’s magic right before I fall into darkness.
***
I'm roused by a piercing, burning smell. I'd assume it was from a fireplace, but the smoke seems to be mixed with something else, something metallic maybe.
I can tell I've been moved. I'm laying in a bed or possibly on a cushion. Okay, so I'm either dead, or Celestia saved me. Although I could have just dreamt the whole thing. But recently I've figured out I'm not that lucky. I thought Celestia was mad about me not letting her get into my metaphorical pants, but she actually felt like I was making her kill her sister. Dear not-yet-Princess Celestia, today I learned that in this world, whatever I think the worst-case scenario is, it's actually fucking orders of magnitudes worse!
I pry my eyes open; I have to make sure Luna’s okay. They register Celestia just a foot or two away, horn glowing and eyes staring at me like a man pony possessed. There's desperation, fear, and something like shock in her large eyes. I blink and glance over to a pile of burning wood. The pieces that the fire hasn’t reached yet are soaked dark red with what I quickly realize is my blood. Looks like she took care of the timberwolves, and somehow managed to keep me alive.
Rolling over, even though the pain is excruciating, allows me to confirm that Luna is both alive and unscathed. I can see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she lies curled up on a bed next to mine.
Stepping between Luna and myself, Celestia dominates my field of view, “You meant what you said, right?” Her voice is filled with concern and an underlying suspicion.
How the hell did it end up like this? I tried getting her to just leave well enough alone, but if she was going to kill her only surviving family for the common good, she’s probably not going to let this one go. Maybe this promise will be a good thing. If she can just put Nightmare Moon out of her mind and assume I’ll take care of everything, maybe Equestria’s history doesn’t have to change.
“Of course,” I begin. She’s definitely expecting some further reassurance. If I’m able to word this right, I should be able to get her to chill out and also not put myself in a dangerous position in the future. “I promise that as long as I’m around, I’ll do everything I can to stop Nightmare Moon’s evil.”
Celestia lets out a relieved sigh and the weary smile of a runner who’s just finished a marathon spreads across her face.
Fantastic! That did it, and thankfully as long as I’m around doesn’t include contingencies for humans who are just enjoying a temporary vacation in this world.
During my internal celebration, I’m struck with a thought that makes me almost laugh, but the shift in my chest causes enough pain to nix that. I move one of my forehooves to my chest, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Moving my hoof in the appropriate crossing motion and then lifting it to my face, I smile up at the neurotic and now confused pre-princess who thankfully didn’t just become a murderer tonight. “How's Luna?”
“She's perfectly fine. I caught her in my magic after putting her to sleep and the timberwolves didn't touch her.” Then almost inaudibly she adds, “Thanks to you.”
It feels weird to admit, but she's right. I just stopped a murder attempt, and here I am lying down as the near murderer and the closest thing I have to a friend in this world heals my injuries. But that's not the weird part. The thing that really surprises me is just how broken Celestia looks. Those aren't the eyes of a killer; even during the act they looked dead, not murderous.
“Why'd you do it?” I ask, trying to keep my voice as neutral and accusation-free as possible.
Celestia flinches and turns away, the flow of her magic to my body cut off. I'm not sure if I see her body tremble slightly or if my vision is shaky from passing out.
“I know you love her, Celestia,” I push. “Hurting her is the last thing you'd ever want. So why couldn't you just ignore what you saw?”
Celestia turns back to me, eyes shimmering as tears threaten to fall, “I know the archmage’s apprentice should say duty or honor or some load of horseapples like that, but the truth is I don't want innocent ponies to get hurt. I'd give up my life for Luna's in a heartbeat, but I can't just ignore what I know if it leads to foals getting hurt someday. With you refusing divine intervention, I got desperate.” She shakes her head as though trying to physically dislodge the thoughts of… regicide? Sororicide? Preemptive regicide?
She continues after a moment, wearing a relieved expression, “But I don't have to worry about that now, do I?”
“Of course not,” I respond uncomfortably, trying to do my best to hide the fact that she absolutely does.
My almost murderous friend smiles down at me and resumes her arcane ministrations on me: closing scratches, fading bruises, and relieving pain. “Well, I want to help in any way I can. What do we do to save her?”
Oh shit, I didn't think this through. It's not like I had much time though. Think! Celestia can cast whatever spell I mention and she might not believe I can do magic even with this weird idea that her god sent me. I don't want to give her the actual answer and say, ‘Don't ignore her this time,’ because that sounds stupid! Also actually preventing Nightmare Moon from forming would definitely fuck up their timeline somehow. I need something that I could reasonably do myself and that Celestia would believe has enough of an effect on Luna to prevent her from going bad. Damn it! How do non-unicorns affect the world?
“A potion!” I half-shout in my excitement. It's perfect! “I need to make a potion to cure her uh… corruption.”
“Really?” Celestia asks with awe. “Starswirl’s mentioned that certain magical artifacts of legend could work magic on a pony's soul, and Clover once stopped a pony who used a stone to erase memories, but I’ve never heard of a potion doing something that powerful.”
“Oh yeah, really powerful one. Probably Zebra magic. It prevents ponies from succumbing to the evil that will take Luna.”
“That's wonderful!” Celestia cheers. “Can we go tomorrow?”
“No way, that's too soon!” I blurt out.
“Why?”
“Because…” Because I need some time to make up a list of nonsense ingredients for a fake potion. “Because we have to wait for a new moon. The moon's too powerful right now. The potion has to be made when um…”
“When light magic is stronger! That makes perfect sense. Burn away the corruption!”
“Uhh yeah, that.”
The next half hour drags on as I'm forced into the world’s shittiest improv troupe. I make up magical reasons without knowing that apparently magic here is apparently divided into different fields and involves complex calculations. I use a lot of engineering terminology and throw in some words my DM used back when I played Dungeons and Dragons in high school. Thankfully, she looked at me like I was some kind of professor or wizard and didn’t question my bullshit.
By the time we finished our ‘discussion,’ Celestia had finished healing my injuries and I felt exhausted. She vaporized the beds and timberwolf remains and floated Luna onto her back. I assured her that I could get home myself, more out of a desire to not answer any more questions than any real confidence that I could find my way out of the forest, but she insisted on escorting me home.
“What about Luna though, you can't just walk me to Smart Cookie's house with an unconscious pony on your back.”
My companion just rolled her eyes and started walking. Then with a burst of yellow light, Luna disappeared. The only indication that she was still on her sister's back was the slight imprint of her body on Celestia's fur and the slow metronomic sound of her breathing.
With no room to argue, I allow Celestia to lead me onward.