//------------------------------//
// The (Not So Great) Beginning 
// Story: Cozy Zurg's Adventures! 
// by Ultimus Pendragon 
//------------------------------//

''Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!~''  Emperor Zurg had to have echoed those very words so many times that it became the norm. Anything less was. . .not right. Every single time a carefully thought out plan was created by him (and enacted by his subordinates), it failed at the hands of the dread Star Command, and even more so; Buzz Lightyear. When would it end? When would his plans finally see fruition and not be literally blown up right back into his face? Even just to have the sweet taste of victory, and to hold it would be liquid gold in his hands.

''Sir, the ship's stabilizers took a hit during that last attack! We should turn back while we still have the opportunity to do so!'' Emperor Zurg dragged a hand across his face in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to punt this useless servant halfway across the system. When he asked for loyal, competent minions who would do his every bidding, he expected results.

He would have to look back over his hiring process when this was all over.

“Nonsense! These invaders have made it a point to attack the glorious Zurg Empire, and they will pay dearly for it! Hahahaha! Especially Buzz Lightyear,” Emperor Zurg cackled, beginning to revel in his thoughts of crushing the galactic hero underneath the foot of his galactic empire. “Cut power to the rear shields and redirect to all weapons systems!”

“But sir,” a minion retorted, nervously approached his master, hoping to not invoke his wrath. “Won’t we be left defenseless from behind?”

ZAP!

“I do not pay you to think past what your designated task is!” Emperor Zurg blasted the poor staff member off the bridge of the ship as he landed in between the navigation console and the galactic radio station.

“B-But sir, I haven’t gotten paid yet,” the tiny green alien groaned, his skin smoking and resembling burnt toast.

“Still in-processing, dolt! You should have read the orientation booklet when you were brought on!” Zurg exclaimed, shaking his head. “And I also fail to recall why you are questioning my business practices!”

Some of the other loyal followers also had the same question along with another that also took a bit of precedence; how was the intrepid dark lord able to pay his workers, if he was a conquered of worlds?

“We must not allow this chance to elude us! Oh, how I cannot wait to see the look on Buzz Lightyear’s face when I destroy all that he has worked to protect! Hahahahahhahaha!” Zurg began to go off on a tangent about his mortal enemy. For far too long has he had yet to be afforded his moment of glory, his 15 minutes, and his everlasting dream of ruling the galaxy and beyond!

“Sir, permission to speak freely?” Zurg quirked a brow at another servant who grew so boldly to speak.

“You being shot out of the nearest airlock depends on if you talk about the eternal hatred that I hold for Buzz Lightyear and Star Command,” Zurg said, folded his slender arms and viewing the vast cosmos ahead, watching the fleeing ship evade the blaster fire from his own flagship. ''Speak.''

“. . .I amend my statement.”

Wishing he would not impart too much of his wrath upon these simpletons for fear of damaging his own craft was a difficult task. Finding good help was always such a nuisance nowadays, but with the prospect of offering health and dental insurance to hopefully rope in more candidates seemed like a good idea at the time, but numbers began to dwindle, and change of career choices made for a short offboarding and longer new hire process.

The battle seemed to be one-sided for the moment, the initial attack came without warning. Even the most sophisticated sensors that were used in Planet Z to detect any and all threats were not working, and that in itself made the warlord question many things. The bombardment came more readily planned out than before, and as quickly as they came, they left. Through the sheer will and tenacity that he, himself possessed often proved integral to his conquests of varying planets and their citizens.

All Emperor Zurg wanted out of life was to be known throughout the galaxy as the most vicious warlord who struck fear into the hearts of every single citizen on every planet in every single galaxy. The name Zurg would be synonymous with fear.

''Do not relent in your attack! We have them right where we want them!'' Emperor Zurg exclaimed, clutching on to the rails with a fiery passion that he knew could not be matched by any other villain. ''Buzz Lightyear will pay dearly for his transgressions!''

The battle raged on, the ship's hull barely being affected by the ship that seemed intent on running with its tail between its proverbial legs. The vast reach of space never failed to be a twinge of curiosity to the dark lord as he noted how in a few moments there was a vast emptiness, only to be accompanied by a sea of debris from past interstellar battles and the remnant of asteroids that probably had a hand in causing the damage to the ships around. The Spaceyard, Zurg sighed, noting the beauty of the destruction. 

''Sir, they appear to be escaping into The Spaceyard, we should terminate our pursuit!''

''Are you out of your very small mind?!'' Zurg asked, slamming his hands on the railing. He had allowed this to pass one too many times, and the looming taunt of attacking his home base would not get unnoticed. ''We possess the advantage here; I didn't enslave the lot of you and turn you into workers so you could bicker about pointless ideas!'' 

The much smaller ship managed to navigate its way through the lingering pile of ships and asteroids, making the maneuvers resemble a dance of sorts, causing Emperor Zurg to growl and nearly keel over in anger. First, he is attacked, and now these. . .invaders choose to cut and run as a scared animal would?

"Move forward, I will not allow this disrespect to continue any further!'' Emperor began to pay limited attention to the sound of space rock contacting his ship. The only thing that did have any semblance of meaning to him would capture Buzz Lightyear, uproot all of the goodie-goodie two shoes of the galaxy, and put his eternal enemy in a-

''Oh, wait. . .we're not rated for that kind of talk.'' Emperor Zurg lightly chuckled to himself, almost letting a certain word slip out of his mouth that would certainly represent his current anger. He would have to attend to that matter behind a closed door. Hearing the blaring of the sensors above his head, Zurg wanted nothing more than to quell that sound so he could be allowed to think more about the various ways he would make this galaxy in his image. ''Why is that alarm sounding?''

''Statement: sir, the ship has detected a nearby anomaly.'' Zurg watched a lanky armored robot who looked at a few of the starboard sensors that suddenly pinged the further in the ship got, harmless deflecting any major asteroid or stray ship parts by the forward shields.

''And what is that?'' Zurg gently rapped his fingers as he spied the ship in from getting further away.

''Response: it appears to be a black hole,'' the robot brought up the projection on the screen for Zurg to view for himself. ''Solution: the ship's course should be corrected to avoid said anomaly.''

''Are you telling me, the great Emperor Zurg, to flee?!'' Zurg began to shuffle down to the robot in question, the subtle glow of its red optics trailing its master movements all the way until he stopped just before him, the look of delayed anger and narrowed eyes doing nothing to faze his processors. ''We will not flee when we-'' Zurg was halted from what he attempted to say due to a strong jerk tearing him from the subordinate he was inches away from engaging when he nearly flew over to the other side of the ship, if not for him activating his rockets at the last moment. A deeper scowl wormed its way onto his face. ''What is it this time?!''

One moment, the ship had the sights of the fleeing Star Command ship in its sights, and the next vast void of space was the only thing they could see. A few more of the sensors began to blare and lights started flashing, alerting the rest of the crew of what was pretty much known to all except the galactic lord. There was an air in the ship that suddenly seemed to creep in. The rage in his heart was beginning to swell with every growing second. 

What. Was. Happening?

''Pull away!'' Emperor Zurg commanded, looking to see his prized ship be nearly torn asunder. ''Full power to the thrusters! Immediately!'' the ship was violently pulled into the abyss, rocking back and forth as the force took hold of those not strapped in as they were flung every which way. Pieces of the ship violently began to either crumble and smash together.

''Sir, we are unable to! We've directed too much power across the ship's systems!'' Zurg merely wanted to faceplant on the deck. His mortal enemy, his insistent pain in his neck, and his revenge was getting away from him! What would Nana Zurg think? Could this get any worse? ''The ship's life support, thrusters, and navigation are failing!''

''What?! How are we surviving this long?'' Zurg wondered, the idea of being anywhere remotely close to a black hole making him scratch his head in confusion. If they managed to make it this long, what would befall him and his servants? Would they end up in a distant quadrant of the galaxy? Would the ship still be space-worthy? And would he be able to wrap his hands around Buzz Lightyear and hurl him into the nearest dying star?

Possibly not, at this rate.

''TOTAL DESTRUCTION IN T-MINUS 10 SECONDS!

''This will not staaaaaannnnd!~''




He had no idea of how much time passed. Everything seemed to be happening very quickly, but it only served to further anger him further. His head began to swim with thoughts of uncertainty. Something pulled at his mind, and his head. He fought to stand himself up, every movement sending waves of pain throughout his body as he slowly rose to find himself in a clearing.

''And where is my crew? And more importantly; my ship?'' Zurg asked himself, looking around the vast green landscape, noting how. . .colorul it looked. Too much light, clean air, and what did everything feel happy?! ''This has to be to some kind of a sick joke.'' Zurg closed his eyes and anger began to fume in his mind.

The pain he felt in his body slowly began to wane; what was this world? Zurg heard footsteps approach him. ''Oh, my goodness; who could this possibly be? If any of you managed to survive, I demand a situation report and-what in the name of all that is sacred are you supposed to be?'' Zurg laid his eyes on a sight that would make him stop in his tracks.

A pink and blue pony?

''Golly, who. . .and what are you? Do. . .you want to be friends?''