//------------------------------// // False // Story: Waters: An Equestrian Gangster // by King Genesis //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash's House Rainbow Dash is about to come out of her house. She has already sent a message to her friends' group saying she was going to Canterlot High to help. Celestia and Luna have been busy on this week due to organizing the beginning of the new year. Every one of the girls agreed to help... ... but there's a special case which Dash is worrying about. Twilight said she would go later because she was reorganizing the main structure of her final essay, taken in Canterlot High's College Course. She wants her to take a breath in the beautiful morning sky of today, instead of being in front of a computer for hours, rewriting something that hasn't even started to get developed. "Twi," she tells her by phone, laughing and getting prepared to help in Canterlot High. "Don't you know Fluttershy told me this final essay had to be done with a team? And you are already doing it alone? Relax, Quicksilver!" she chuckles. "Take a breath! Why don't you go with me to CH to help Tia? I can pick you up if you want... well, I don't have a car but..." "I would like to, Dash, but I've found an excellent point to write on my essay." "Twi, are you kidding me?" she says, laughing. "We don't even know what will happen with that essay! What if we go to school on our first day and Ms Cheerilee says there won't be any essays on the CC?" "Dash, that can't be possible! Canterlot High has never suspended any essays on the College Course! This year won't be the exception. Besides, the new topic I've been organizing now is quite extensive, so that's why I'm taking a lot of time." "Oh, come on, another topic, Twi? What are you writing about to be it so extensive?" she asks, chuckling. "Your love story with Flash?" "Oh, shut up, you Dash! And I haven't said anything about your story with Soarin yet!" Dash laughs louder while passing by the living room and giving her mom Windy Whistles a kiss. Then she waves her hand to her father Bow Hothoof, who was looking for something in the fridge. "Don't forget about your jacket!" shouts Windy. "Oh, mom, it's not so cold!" she shouts while holding the phone. "Take it, just in case!" Dash sighs and grabs a small, blue jacket of hers that was on a chair. "You say something else about Flash..." "Nah, I was just joking, Twi!" she says, laughing while opening her house's entrance door. "Besides, you didn't tell me what were you writing about. A new topic? Is it that long?" "Oh, well, you're gonna laugh at me but... my brother told me something about an Equestrian Gang a week ago and really loved the idea... so I started writing about that and found out it has potential. Besides, he told me Mr Parsons does know a lot about gangs' histories. I think he used to work with Edinburgh Tyler, the journalist." Dash raises an eyebrow, surprised while passing by her door. "Really, Twi? Gangs? Didn't expect that to come out of your mouth... and much less expect that someone like Mr Parsons could know about those... and what did your brother tell you?" "Things he read in articles and also small pieces of Mr Parsons' anecdotes... there's one he read... that It's kinda surreal and... disturbing. It's an urban legend, though. We have no idea if it's true or not but... turns out there was once a gangster which was treated as a pet... a human pet..." "What?" says Dash, chuckling. "Are you kidding me? That doesn't sound real at all, Twi!" she starts laughing. "You've got to write about your brother's imagination!" A Street in Canterlot "And... think about... think about that..." Jack and W are looking at each other, being inside the car, talking about what they found out minutes ago. A Bloodswan reunion? With an angry Bloodswan? Since when? "Tell me, Jack. Tell me who in that family of Bloodswan is considered mentally sane? Tell me... I don't know anyone! They even have a human pet and they are like---" W raises his shoulders. "Oh, who's my favourite doggy, oh, you...... I mean, he's a human which... walks like a fucking dog! He even sticks out his tongue--!" "OK, OK, calm down!" interrupts Jack. "I recognize you're right, OK? No one in Bloodswan's family is sane. All of them are crazy, selfish monsters, but let yourself know this is happening in his house... and you know that if there is a place Bloodswan will never stain with blood... is his house. Besides, if he is there... Bloodswan will be standing right next to him, barking like a dog, but not biting and jumping like a monster." W raises an eyebrow when Jack talks about that he. "He will be there?" "Of course, it's his house." "He will be listening to everything he has to say." "Yes." W, unsure of what he has just heard, sighs and raises his shoulders again. "I don't know, man. I mean, you know that right now, at this moment, there's no difference between an inexistent, immobile rock and he, Clo---" "NO!" says Jack while raising a finger. "Don't you dare to say that name in my car." "Uh, come on," W responds aloud. "You still believe saying that name brings you bad luck?" "It's not bad luck," he says. "It's a death sentence. I'd have to wash my tongue like ten times after saying that name. Damn monster." "Well," W answers, while Jack opens the car's door. "I mean, uh... I still prefer Father over his son. Bloodswan is the craziest psychopath we've ever seen in our entire life, and you know you and I have seen lots of psychos." "And Father is Bloodswan's dad," Jack replies while getting out of the car. "Don't forget that." Jack gets out of the car and looks at a small, grey-coloured store with a yellow sign on its front: Fletcher's. High-quality Canterlot Jewellery - Since year 2000. W, on the other side, slowly opens the door while thinking about that nickname: Father. Since he was a child, that nickname really called his attention. The only man who could calm Bloodswan down. In fact, he is not only Bloodswan's father but also the boss of bosses. Those old gangster movies he loved watching as a kid, named Father's role as the Capo di Tutti Capi. The man of men. Holy shit, he actually gets goosebumps right there while getting out of the car. He imagines that. How can you be nicknamed Father and deal with it? Deal with the fact that the craziest and most obnoxious men and women of the country actually respect you? Well... you'd have to know you will always have someone (lots of people, in this case) against you... but anyone can't tell you in your face how much they hate you because they will end up in a body bag. That kind of power really scares him. A lot... and what scares him even more, are those who handle it. "OK," says Jack, looking at his partner getting out of the car. "Let's go back to the beginning." W approaches him and looks at the jewellery store. "You said you were the only one who could do this, and I understand your point... sadly, you are the only one who can enter that school to do what we want to do and seem credible, but you've got to know we will never leave you alone on this.... I'll be passing by the school often, not all the time. I don't want to call the attention of anyone, but I'll let you know when I'm standing there, and remember you can not only call me, but also Abe, Patch and even Hoppy. You have all of our phone numbers. " "Um..." he says. "Ok... but that part of you passing by the school... Isn't that a bit useless? How many times will you pass by the school with the car?" Jack shakes his head. "Not so useless," he replies. "Think... Something may happen and I can tell you while you are inside. However, I won't stay there for so long. You know I don't want to call the attention of anybody, especially Big Baby and his boys." W quickly puts his hand on his forehead. "Oh, wait..." he says. "This street... didn't the syndicate shit pass by here?" "Nah... the Syndicate Workers won't give us much trouble. The problems are those three guys," he replies. "Two boys and a girl. You know I'm talking about." "Yeah," he answers. "Those dudes who work for Big B... The Dark Spikes, aren't they?" Jack nods his head while crossing the street with W. "Yeah. They are always in the same place, that backstreet in Scorpan Street. Something good for us because they hardly move from there to another place... but you've got to know Scorpan is not so far from Canterlot High, it's actually close to the school. Keep an eye on that." W only nods his head. "Sure," he adds while reaching to the other side. Jack opens the glass door and enters the store. Fletcher's A pretty small store, but has its clients. A 60-year-old, short, skinny and hoary man, smartly dressed in beige pants, a shirt and his iconic pullover, holding his glasses while staying behind a thick layer of glass that separates him from the rest of the store, is attending a customer. A 60-year-old man trying to relax after going through many things in his troubled past as a fence and an illegal accountant. That man's name is Fletcher. Jack and W get in the store, passing by a couple of clients and windows filled with rings until they show up in the zone. Staying behind the attended client, Fletcher is still in his world. "Oh, here you have another option. Same price, the same scale," he points at the ring he's holding. "Silver... then, the small gem. Jade. Shiny Jade. You also have the same ring with small sapphire, ruby..." Fletcher softly tilts his head to the left and looks at those two familiar men behind the client, who also turns around. "Um..." he turns to the client. "Just a minute... hey, Jay." "Hi, Mr Fletcher," replies Jack. "Won't you mind if we see Calc for a second? He called us because of something going on with one of the PCs." "Oh..." Fletcher nods his head. "Oh, yes, yes... You can come in, J, also you, Dub," he says, pointing at W. "How you grew up, boy, since the last time I saw you." W chuckles, a bit embarrassed. "Thanks, Fletchie. Calc's on the back, right?" "He's on the back... wait a minute." Fletcher goes to one side of the counter and opens a small, thick glass door with a key. "Come in." "Thanks, Fletch," replies Jack while W nudges the old man's shoulder, jokingly. Fletcher only chuckles. "You're welcome, boys," then he opens the door and goes back to the client. "Sorry, you know... we bought a new PC for the accountancy stuff... the boy still does not know some things about it... thank God or whoever is up there we have those experts..." A small portion of space is behind that glass. Just jewels, jewels on the counter, some photographs of Fletcher with celebrities, even one with Sapphire Shores, and a door that leads to the place. W and Jack pass by the metallic door that says Employees Only and get in a wide hall filled with a couple of boxes, a closed bathroom and a distant room with the lights on where a familiar song, at a low volume, comes out. "Is that..." W stutters. "Is that Deftones?" "Deftones," says Jack. "Almost forgot about that band..." "Yes, it is... horny boy..." he approaches the door. "Hey, Calc!" says while knocking. "Calc!" No one answers. "Calc! It's me! W! I'm with Jack!" No one answers, and W sighs. Backroom On the other side, there he is, sitting in front of the computer in a small room filled with papers and files, writing in a couple of receipts, listening to Deftones and singing. Calculated Risk, also known as Calc or Risky, a 20-year-old, skinny, clever boy with black hair, big round glasses, a pullover, jeans and brown shoes. Suddenly, W opens the door without knocking again and the young boy quickly raises his hands, scared. "Shit!" he shouts. "I have a family!" "Uh, come on, Calc!" W says, laughing. "It's me! Do I look like a gangster to you?" "Uh... uh... argh!" he blushes while clenching his teeth. "Holy, W! I almost crap my pants!" "I only opened the door, you pussy!" "The voice, W!" says Jack aloud while closing the door. "Lower your volume, there are clients outside, and Calc, I want you to pause the song for a bit. We need you." Calculated Risk opens a tab and pauses the song. He sighs and then grabs a small cloth he has on the desk and cleans his sunglasses. "Um... yes? What's going on?" "We have something to do here, specifically in Canterlot High," replies Jack, something that drives Calculated Risk's sight to the old mobster's eyes. "Really?" he says. "Yes, CH... I did sophomore there before going to Everton... what are you planning to do?" "Uh, come on," interrupts W. "Turns out that everybody went to Canterlot High now? Firstly Dko, then Calc, what... Jack, you went to CH too?" Jack actually nods his head. "Yeah, I did once. Years ago." W's eyes widen. He clearly didn't expect that. "What?" "That doesn't matter right now..." then he turns his head to the young boy on the computer. "Calc... It's a pretty long thing, so we'll go to your task directly... um, could you forge us a diploma?" Calc's eyebrows rise. "A diploma?" he says. "Um... from where? What?" "Elementary School Diploma," Jack replies. "And also transcripts from Freshman to Senior Year in... um... you went to Everton, right?" Calc nods his head. "Yeah." "Do it with Everton... but you did Sophomore in CH, you said it." "That's not a problem," replies Calc. "I can duplicate a transcript and do it from zero. It may take me... um..." Calc starts opening a couple of new tabs on the browser. "Luckily, I do have my own transcripts and diplomas on my MeCloud, so it will take me one, two... maybe three hours. Not more than that." W raises an eyebrow and looks at Jack. "Um... Could you explain to me what's the plan... so I can get in the thing?" Both Jack and W look at each other, then at Calc. "Well," says Jack. "Basically, there's this group of violent kiddos who threatened Abe's granddaughter... you remember Abe, right?" "Yeah," replies Calc. "The one with the moustache. Orange hair, right?" "Orange hair, yeah," replies Jack. "And her granddaughter? Do you remember her in your sophomore year? Her name is Rarity." Calc moves his head. "Maybe I... um... Yes!" he points at Jack with a finger. "She was the one who did the clothes and dresses..." "Yes, she is," says Jack. "Well, Rarity called Abe and told him she felt in danger because of these boys, which mysteriously the leader of this team has been expelled from the school lots of times, according to what she said, and magically came back with no suspensions or nothing..." "Wait, wait, wait," interrupts W and looks at Calc's eyes. "Before we keep on with this... Do you know the name of this leader, Calc? Cattle Prod is his name. Looks like everyone is familiar with that name except me. I seriously don't know anything about this guy, but magically its name sounds familiar to everyone else." Calculated Risk puts a finger on his chin and lays on his chair. "Cattle Prod... um..." he says. "I remember there was this girl, Sunset Shimmer, who would bully everyone... but... a group of violent kids, Cattle Prod? No. When I was at sophomore, there was no one named like that." W takes a breath of relief after hearing that. At least, he's not the only one who doesn't feel familiar with that name. "However," Calculated Risk stands up from his chair and raises one finger. "I've heard that name..." "Oh, come on!" shouts W. "I'm literally the only one? Who in the hell is him, the Sun?" "Calm down..." Jack replies. "Where did you hear that name, Calc? When?" Calc quickly waves his hand. "Here. On the store. I remember hearing it from Fletcher's mouth, some months ago, but I don't remember who was him... why don't you ask Fletcher that?" Jack nods his head, "Ok... ok..." and looks at W. "I'll go ask Fletcher about the name. W will explain you the rest of the plan." "What?" he says. "Me?" "Of course!" he replies, opening the door. "Who would explain that to him, then? Himself?" Jack closes the door and leaves. W looks at Calculated Risk and sighs. "Ok," Calc adds. "Let me revise the plan... there's this girl, Rarity..." Calc stays in silence for a couple of seconds and then his eyes widen. "You know..." he chuckles and stands up. "She even designed a small bowtie for the Fall Formal... for me! A very generous girl, isn't she?" Calc looks at W with a smile, but the gangster only widens his eyes. "Calc, dude... I haven't even seen her in real life." "Uh," he says. "Sorry... it's just... the old times, you know..." then he sits on the chair again. "Could you tell me the rest?" W just sighs. "Summarizing it, I have to enter that school under a fake identity to take care of Rarity from these assholes." "You?" says Calculated Risk. "Alone?" W raises his shoulders. "Well... literally there's no other sane man who can help me... do you remember Snowblind and his group of friends? They are anything but mentally sane. Abe, Jack and EP are old and they don't want Dko to be there because of her father... so I am alone..." he raises an eyebrow. "... unless... you..." "Nope," he replies instantly. "I have to work here." W smiles. "Oh, thank you for your help, Mr Rivers." Calc snorts. "Could you stop calling me like Weezer's singer? I'm tired about that..." then he scratches his hair. "And no, I can't go there with you, I'm sorry. Besides, my fighting abilities are worse than a snail's... but I can help you with something if you want." W, surprised by that, bites his lips. "Which kind of help?" Calculated Risk takes his phone out of his pocket and turns it on. "Well, you know that school's huge, right? It has everything you can imagine of, man... it even has dorms, so you'll be there all day... how long are you staying there?" "Um... a week, or two." "Uh, not so long... however, it is a pretty big place, so... you may need someone who can help you with the school---" "No! You too?" he sighs. "What is this, a freaking RPG? Dko has already given me her phone number because of the same thing you are telling me!" He facepalms. "Man, how many XP do I have now?" "Woah, easy," he says. "I didn't know that. I was trying to help you." "Yeah, I know," he replies, laying against the wall. "It's just... man, I'm still not sure about doing this, you know? I'm literally jumping onto a swimming pool with no water in it. I have no fucking idea how much water does that have, you understand me? I mean... I'm doing this not because I want to... I'm doing it because you and Dko can't, and I'm the only sane, young being who can do it." Calc slowly nods his head, standing up from his chair again. "I mean," he says. "We don't know who is Cattle Prod, but you're already taking advantage of something: you," he says, pointing at him. "You are a gangster, isn't it? A criminal." "Um..." he moves from the wall, nervously. "Look, I don't consider myself a criminal... criminal is someone who hurts someone innocent... I consider myself a worker. An illegal worker who works for the black market. I mean... um... I don't know how to explain it." "Doesn't matter," he says. "The thing is that you know how to deal with these violent boys. You always told us the same old story about that time when you were a child and managed to beat up four big men, isn't it? When you were 18... didn't you fight in that insane, exaggerating, violent fest and managed to survive?" W rolls his eyes and laughs, remembering old times. "Um, well... I only fought in what we used to call The Viscera Fest... everyone against everyone... I remember breaking my arm while beating someone up with a tree branch." Calculated Risk blinks, confused. "Uh... that's kind of... oddly specific." "Yeah..." W smiles. "What I'm trying to say is, alone or not, you can show those boys who is the big man out there, don't you? Um... what was the nickname you used when you were younger?" W raises his eyebrows. "Um... the Bedmaker." "That one," he says. "You can clearly show them the Bedmaker stuff." W remembers that name with embarassment. "Uh, man... I haven't used that nickname since I was 20." "And you're 23 now, it's not a long time." Suddenly, Jack opens the door and both of them look at him shaking his head. "Fletcher told me he does recognize the name but doesn't remember who was him." "Uh..." W says. "Is this some kind of movie?" "He did say... uh... his name reminds him of a reservation on this store... Someone reserved a ring for Cattle Prod and bought it." W raises his shoulders. "Someone?" "Yes," he replies. "Apparently, Cattle Prod didn't reserve that ring, but someone else did it for him. Fletcher doesn't remember the name of the one who reserved the buy but does have it registered on the PC. It's something that happened a couple of months ago and he told me lots of jewels are reserved to be bought later very often, so that may take us a little bit of time." W raises an eyebrow now. "But... the name of that person is on the PC?" "Yes," replies Jack. "Calc, would you do us that favour of looking that name on your reservation list? According to what Fletcher told me, he bought some kind of ring with a ruby on it." "Yeah, sure," he replies while opening another tab. "Firstly, let me forge the papers and I'll do that... uh... wait," he says. "Something else... uh... I need a name." W raises an eyebrow. "Name?" "Yeah, I can't forge the papers without a student name... shall I put on Walter?" "No," interrupts Jack. "Anything but his real name... put him... some kind of... I don't know... a generic name, Flash... Flash Lightning, something like that." W frowns. "Flash Lightning sounds like premature ejaculation, Jack, no." Jack sighs. "W, come on... don't begin with your tantrums. it's just a freaking name. You'll use it for a week and that's it." "No, I want a better name," he says and approaches Calc. "Calc, go to namegenerator.com." Jack is now confused. "What?" "Oh, you also use that page?" he says, getting into the page. Both smile. "Hell yeah, best fake-name-creator-related page ever." "Underrated page," jokingly says Calc. There's a big button on the page that says: GENERATE NAME, which Calculated Risk clicks. YOUR NAME IS: DIAMOND ZEPHYR "Diamond Zephyr?" says W. "No, I don't like it." "Uh, W..." Jack appears in the middle. "Are you really trying to be a perfectionist with a name?" "It's gotta be a decent name, Jack." "It's a name, W! It's not like you are going to use it forever!" "Wait a minute, Jack, there must be a better name." YOUR NAME IS: GOLDEN LEAVES "What about Golden Leaves?" "No, that sucks so bad it makes me vomit!" YOUR NAME IS: SWIFT ARROW "And Swift Arrow?" "No, that..." W stays in silence. "Um... okay, that one doesn't sound so ba--" "Ok, Swift Arrow," says Jack. "That will be the new name. Done. Calc, see ya in a few hours, we'll be back." "Wait, wait, wait!" shouts W. "I'm still not sure... uh... well, sounds like a guy with..." "Come on, we've got to go!" he shouts again, nudging W's shoulder. "Now!" "OK, OK!" W shouts back. "Put Swift Arrow on it... that's the name. Happy?" Jack nods his head with a smile. "Yeah," he replies. "See ya, Calc." "See ya, Jack," he replies while downloading the papers from the drive. "See you, Dubs." "See ya." Both men pass by the door and leave Calculated Risk alone. Rusty's "Are you sure you don't want me to be there with you?" Abe stands in the office entrance door while Eye Patch gets out, with his sunglasses, heading to his car. "No, Abe," he replies. "He called me and wanted me only, along with the other bosses. You'd better stay here." "I just... you know..." says Abe. "Don't like where that is going." Eye Patch grabs the cigarette he was holding in his hand with two fingers a finger and puts it in his mouth. "Me neither." He lights it. "But if it's in the house, there won't be blood." "And will Father be there too?" "Of course," he says. "I think. If his son was that angry, he may be there right now. This... this looks like some kind of..." Silence. Abe raises an eyebrow. "Of?" Eye Patch gets the cigarette out of his mouth and releases the smoke. "In my opinion, someone tried to mess with Bloodswan, and he's now angry." "Mess?" asks Abe, now laying against one of the door marks. "Who would mess with Bloodswan?" "I don't know but... it's not the first time I tell you this would eventually happen... you know everyone is getting tired of Bloodswan's attitude. I said that, in one moment, someone... would try to break the glass... and when the glass breaks... everything will explode into pieces." Abe feels goosebumps at hearing that. Eye Patch too. "You think..." says Abe. "There would be another Diesel Flame? Another Ashton Family who turned into an urban legend?" Eye Patch chuckles for a second. "It's kind of different... Both Diesel Flame and the Ashton Family were stupid gangsters who tried to take the world, hijack the game... the only times in Equestrian history where all of the gangs turned against just one. Bloodswan is the son of the most powerful man in this country, who is the boss of the most powerful, evil and disturbing family we have ever seen. Diesel was just one man, everyone hated the Ashtons, both cases were Goliath killing David... Bloodswan is David killing Goliath." "But David killed Goliath, didn't he?" Eye Patch puts the cigarette on his mouth again. "I hope he does." He turns around to wave his hand to the Father and Daughter, not before approaching Abe. "Look," he tells Abe, almost whispering, scratching his chin. "This thing... may be a bit long." "A bit?" Eye Patch chuckles at the same time he tries not to. "Uh, yeah... I don't know how long an angry Bloodswan will keep us locked in that house... that's why... I want you to do one favour while you're here." Abe blinks and knows what he's talking about. "Uh, I know..." he nods. "Any news about the Neighsay thing?" Eye Patch smiles at his partner. "I told him to go to the Lake of Meadowbrook, on the Maretreal Side, at 12:30 P.M." He fixes his black shirt. "The things he wanted are in the jewellery store of Emerald Pick. The backroom. You know he'll let you enter." "Yeah, yeah," Abe nods. "But... shall I go alone or... with someone else?" The boss bites his lips. "Uh... I don't think Neighsay is... that kind of guy. Besides, I looked at his eyes the last time we got together. His sight does not have resentment or a backdoor... he is desperate. He is scared." Eyebrow raised. "Of what?" "I don't know... maybe he'll tell you if you give him the guns but..." "And are you sure that means it's not necessary to go armed to that place?" "Well, I don't consider Neighsay as a threat but... if you want to, I won't argue with you... it's always better to have a plan B rather than nothing..." he chuckles. "And besides, I have just one eye... I didn't have a full look of him." Abe and Eye Patch laugh for a second. "And who I should call?" "Well, that's a good question, indeed..." he scratches his hair. "It was always Jack and you at the front, and W and another in the car... um..." Eye Patch raises an eyebrow, touching his sunglasses. "Is Dosh still here?" Abe, surprised, raises both eyebrows. "Dosh? In Maretreal? Again?" "Well, you know... His favourite bars are here. He spends the whole weekend drinking and fucking in my town... it makes me a bit mad, you know... but I've got to admit that sack of fats is one of the few guys outside Maretreal that I actually like and get on well." He touches Abe's shoulder. "Don't do it now but... take a look at the Ursa in half an hour, you may find him, he's there 24/7 on Saturdays..." "And what does Dosh's boss say about this? I mean... Sabretooth? The guy of Fillydelphia? With his thug on Maretreal?" Eye Patch, before turning around, smiles one more time. "Do you care about what he says?" Abe raises his shoulders. "Uh... I mean, he never told us anything... uh, and it's Sabretooth... I don't care..." "Me neither," Eye Patch replies. "And looks like Dosh also doesn't... Well, I've gotta go... keep working here until 11, ask Rusty for a car," he walks away. "Tell him that he has to give you something normal, no attractive colour..." "Yeah, I know, I know," he replies. "I'll tell him... and give me a call when you are near there!" "Sure!" shouts Patch while walking away from the store, raising his thumb. Abe goes back to the store, not before taking a long, long breath. Eye Patch's car Now in the car, Eye Patch exhales the smoke one more time while checking his cellphone. One of his lots of cellphones. He doesn't even know what is he doing but feels so unsure he has to make sure someone else is in the same situation as him. He has to call someone else to find out... and he knows who is he going to call... "Fuck." Oh, Seductive, Las Pegasus' Lady and Leader, his friend inside the game, is not on this phone's contact list. He may have confused that phone with this one. Great. There are no other contacts to call. ABE CALCULATED RISK FLETCHER HOPPY JACK RUSTY WRENCH SABRETOOTH W Talking about Rome... Sabretooth, the guy of Fillydelphia. The asshole in person... looks like not even his thug Dosh respects him. Why does he have him on the list? No idea. He won't call him, he's a freaking ego-maniac. Wait... W's not the last contact. There's someone whose name starts with Z. Who? He scrolls down to find out. Z_ BIG BABY ] No. Please no. Everything except for Big Baby. He even thinks about calling Sabretooth instead, but eventually decides to go with Double B anyways. He knows how to deal with that fatass. "Lord, forgive me," he says. "You too, Wade and Wanda, wherever you are, for calling this one." Z_ BIG BABY DIALING... 📞📞📞 He sighs, trying not to listen to that whiny, annoying voice. Suddenly, someone speaks. "Hello?" Eye Patch closes his eye. "Hi, Big." A moment of silence before the Big Baby explodes into laughter. "HAHAHAHAHA!!! Look at this, holy shit, if it isn't the Pirate, Blackbeard Eye Patch! So long without looking at you in the eyes... oh, I mean, your eye!" He grunts. "Look, you son of a gun, I don't have time to listen to the same pirate joke going over and over. I'm asking you directly, did you get a call from Bloodswan?" Big Baby slowly stops laughing and coughs twice. "Oh, Crazy Uncle, yeah... I did get a call from Crazy Un... I've got to say he was a bit mad... did you also get a call, Thatch?" "I did, B, and you dare to call me Thatch one more time and I swear I'll kick you in the ass so hard you'll end up in space." Big Baby starts laughing but a massive cough interrupts his fun. He coughs for ten seconds and takes a breath while Eye Patch listens to how someone is helping him. Then, a bit later, he starts breathing normally again. "At least I don't have COPD." "Oh, shut up... you son of a... bitch," he says, almost whispering. "I did get a call from Bloodswan... he was really mad... and I'm going there... it's that why you called...? Just... to waste my time?" "I was making sure this wasn't a trap or something else," replies Eye Patch. "Looks like Mr BS is raising the roof." "Yeah..." coughs. "Mr Bullshit..." Eye Patch suddenly cuts the call on Big Baby's face while turning on the car. He's getting prepared for a long, long day.