//------------------------------// // He Comes With a Doggie Costume! // Story: Not Another Invader ZIM Crossover! // by theRedBrony //------------------------------// Author's Note: Hey guys! This chapter kinda has a lot of dialog and exposition, hopefully it's not too boring. Enjoy! The hut in the middle of a forest populated by mythical beasts was now filled with six very colorful alien ponies, one blinged-out rhyming zebra, a little green alien invader, his defective robot minion, two humans (one of them scary in her own right), and a very heavy awkward silence. It was safe to say things were getting a bit weird. And then there was that sound again. Dib looked in the direction of his sister, the only possible source, and yet found nothing out of the ordinary with her. Squinty eyes? Check. Stoic expression? Check. Scary presence? Check. Maybe her cell phone made the squealing sound? Could she possibly have a signal wherever she was? Maybe it was a low battery sound? Dib cast aside these thoughts and faced the new creatures that had entered the hut. These were probably the 'ponies' Zecora spoke of. "HI TWILIGHT!" GIR shouted at the purple unicorn in front of him. He stood there smiling with his tongue sticking out, waving his little hand very fast. The pony GIR had named Twilight recoiled back, in what looked like disgust at the little metal guy, holding a forehoof off the ground, as if shielding herself from it. Fluttershy spoke up, albeit very softly, "Um… Twilight, these um… creatures… are called 'humins.' " "Yes, Twilight my dear, now listen here. I was resting when a great wind hit my humble abode, I looked out my window and saw something explode! Outside I went to check the sound, but instead these four I found," Zecora added with a gentle smile in the direction of the newcomers. All the other ponies behind Twilight just stood still in various degrees of shock, awe, and confusion. "Um… is that a robot? And how'd he know my name?!" The purple unicorn asked, cautiously flicking her raised hoof in the direction of the freaky metal thing, still very confused by all this. "Ah, yes… he's my uh… *mumble* Information Retrieval unit! Yes! It is his job to gather such informaSHUNNNN!" Zim informed her, pointing a finger up in the air. "How DID he know that?" Zim mumbled under his breath, wondering if the little guy might have somehow actually started working right for a change. "I thought… he was a dog…" Fluttershy pointed out. "SILENCE!" Zim snapped at Fluttershy. He glanced over to Gaz and decided not to say any more. Twilight finally noticed her yellow friend off in a corner, "Oh, hi Fluttershy, no wonder you weren't home. What are you doing here?" "Oh, um, I heard the explosion too… I came to see if Zecora was OK, but she wasn't here. But then she came back, and these humins were following her. They're um…" Fluttershy looked to Zim for a moment, "…nice." "Oh… well then…" Twilight turned back to the strange new creatures. GIR was still smiling and waving at her. Wearing an uneasy smile, she managed to say, "Um… hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. You've already met Zecora and Fluttershy, these are the rest of my friends." She moved aside to let them commence introductions. A pink one took Twilight's gesture as the green light to introduce herself. "HI! My name's Pinkie Pie! Are you aliens?! OOOOH! Aren't you the cutest little robot I've ever seen! *Giggle-snort* You're the first little robot I've ever seen! But still!" She picked GIR up in her forehooves. "WEEEE! HI PINKIE!" GIR shouted, and continued smiling and waving really fast. "So what're your names?!" Pinkie asked, putting GIR down. Both Dib and Zim looked to Gaz, who rushed to be the one to do the introductions last time, but she was just standing there, strangely still and silent, making no move to begin. 'Why is she so quiet?' Dib thought. "I'm Dib, this is my sister Gaz, and…" "I AM ZIMMMMMM!!!" Zim loudly proclaimed with one hand proudly upon his chest, and the other pointing a finger in the air. Pinkie Pie giggled at their names. "You have funny names! I like them! What's your name little guy?" GIR's eyes turned red and his expression became serious as he saluted Pinkie Pie. "GIR reporting for duty." After a brief pause, his eyes turned green again. "Hehehehehe! I said 'dooty,' " GIR said, giggling some more. Pinkie giggled with him. A white unicorn stepped forward. "Ahem…" she said, trying to speak over the laughter, "my name is Rarity. It is… a pleasure… to meet your… acquaintance," she said nervously, ending with a weak, awkward smile. An orange pony wearing a hat stepped up next. She tipped her hat at them. "Howdy! Ahm Applejack! Pleasure ta meet y'all!" Finally, a visibly very tired light blue one with wild rainbow hair trotted wearily forward from behind her friends. "Sup. I'm Rainbow Dash," she said from behind tired eyes. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zim inhaled, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He finished, bent over from laughing so hard, still chuckling in between breaths. "Hey! What's so funny green guy?!" Rainbow dash said with irritation behind those tired eyes. She walked over to him, almost losing her balance for a second on the way over. "You're…! You're rainbow colored…!" Zim panted to catch his breath, "and…! and you're name is…!" He finally looked up to see that the filthy rainbow horse thing was an inch away from his face, "Rainbow…" "Yea? Laugh at my name again. I dare you," she dared, pressing her muzzle against his… face. Zim just gulped. He thought she might almost be as scary as Gaz, if it weren't for her ridiculous hair color. Zecora gave them both an annoyed look, and was just about to tell them to take it outside again. "That's what I thought." Rainbow turned, flicking her tail in Zim's face, and walked back towards the two real humans, who had not yet offended her. "Wow. You look really tired," Dib said as he pointed at her. "Yea, they woke me up," she answered unenthusiastically. "Hey, are those wings?" Dib pointed to Rainbow's side. She nodded, "Yea… I'm a pegasus, doy," saying it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Wow! So you can fly?!" Rainbow perked up a little at this chance to boast. "Buck yea I can fly!" She said as she unfurled her wings and gave them a few flaps. "I'm the fastest flier in all of Equestria!" She floated a few inches off the floor and proudly held a hoof to her chest. "Eh? Uh-quest-tree-uhHHHH…? Is that the name of this WRETCHED horse planet?" Asked Zim. Twilight answered, "Um, no, it's the name of our nation. The planet we call Earth." Zim and Dib looked at each other, then back to Twilight. "Are you saying you're not from this planet?" She asked with a large helping of disbelief in her voice and a raised eyebrow. "Well, uh," Dib gestured to his sister and himself, "we're from Earth…" He paused, not knowing how to explain the fact that they were all indeed aliens. Dib had a really hard time wrapping his head around the idea that HE was the invader now, sort of. "But it's a different Earth," Gaz finally said. Her brother was beginning to wonder if she had fallen asleep on her feet. It was hard to tell with her squinty eyes. Why was she being so quiet anyway? This seemed to be going a little beyond her normal 'I don't care about anything' attitude towards everything in general. "Um… I don't suppose you…" Twilight was interrupted by loud obnoxious giggling from Pinkie and GIR. "…know what that explosion was?" "Oh that! That was just my um…" Zim started. "Zim's ship exploded," Gaz finished. "LIES!" Zim shouted. A brief pause because of his outburst... "How did you know?" Zim demanded. "I saw it before we landed. Duh." "You mean 'crashed'?" Zim quipped with a sarcastic grin. "At least our ship didn't explode." "Just like dis: KA-BOOM!!!" GIR shouted out of nowhere. "Wait a minute, hold on," Twilight interrupted, "What kind of ships are we talking about here?" "Spaceships?" Dib offered. "Really?" Twilight asked with curious look. She received a few slight nods from Dib, Gaz, and Zim. "I told you that was an alien spaceship landing!" Pinkie pointed a hoof towards Twilight. "She did say that once or twice…" Applejack added. "So that means that you're… that this…" There was then a visible gleam in Twilight's dilated pupils, as she clapped her forehooves together once in realization. "This is first contact! How wonderful!" "So y'all really are aliens? How the hay are ya speakin' Equestrian?" Applejack asked, trying, almost instinctively, to determine the truth. Dib raised an index finger and inhaled to begin the explanation. But instead of words coming out of his mouth, there were only questions coming into his head. His finger fell limp. Disregarding the language's name of 'Equestrian,' verbal communication with these creatures was, so far, completely seamless. For that matter, thought Dib, how had Zim been able to speak English so well? It went even further than that: over the years, Dib had managed to talk with Zim's leaders a couple of times. And although they paid no attention to him and his empty threats, they could at least understand what he was saying, and vice versa. He looked to Zim, who understood the question, and only responded by shaking his head 'no' with a blank face, a big shrug, and an open-mouthed mumble that roughly sounded like 'I don't know.' "Hey guys! Look! He comes with a doggie costume!" Pinkie held up GIR dressed in his dog suit. "MeeeoooOWWWW!" GIR said, waving his nubby little arms. This prompted snickers and giggles from the ponies, zebra, and even a little bit from Gaz. Except for the more refined Rarity, who simply asked, "Is that a… zipper?" She was probably the only equine in the room who would recognize a zipper when she saw one. "Eh?" Zim glanced over to his robot minion. "That's a… collar! You know, like a dog… collar… tag… Yes! Dogs have collars, right?" "Oh give it up Zim! That dog costume is terrible! And so is your pitiful disguise!" Dib shouted at his nemesis. "What are you talking about?" Zim casually said, trying to act oblivious. Of course, he now had the full attention of everyone in the hut. Even GIR and Pinkie. "He's an ALIEN!" Dib pointed an accusing finger at Zim. "Well, you know, like a real alien! Like… um… you know? Not-a-human alien!" "LIES! LIES! THE FEELTHY EARTH BOY LIESSSS!" Zim grew nervous, and started sweating. He looked at all the stinking creatures looking at him accusingly. Dib and Gaz had seen him undisguised plenty of times, but Dib was crazy and no one listened to him. Gaz just didn't care. And on the few rare occasions his cover had been blown to anyone else, he usually managed to talk his way out of it, the stupid Earth humans were pretty gullible, after all. But now he had a whole room full of people staring at him. Thoughts of being dissected by human scientists began to flood his mind. "I'm a human! Yep! Human, human, human! Perfectly normal human!" He tugged on his collar nervously, smiling uneasily. "I'M NORMAL!" "Zim! You MORON! They're not humans! We're not even on the same planet anymore!" Dib shouted at Zim. As much as he hated to admit it, his large-headed human nemesis was right. Zim had been undercover for so long that his human guise had become a second skin to him. In fact, it had gotten to the point where the only reason he would take off the wig and contact lenses was because they were uncomfortable. Otherwise, he might have left them on all day long, even in the privacy of his home -slash- secret base. He wondered for a moment if he would be nervous like this even around his fellow Irkens, being undisguised. And for how long? Would he always be uncomfortable out of disguise? Was he mentally scarred for life? Doomed to feel more comfortable in the form of one of the filthy stupid inhabitants of the very planet he was trying to conquer for the good of his true race? "Earth to Zim," Gaz stated flatly, snapping her fingers. "Eh?" Zim snapped out of his daze. "Do it already," She egged him on to remove his disguise. Zim understood and reluctantly placed one hand on the bouffant front part of his wig, and slowly lifted it off his head. All the ponies (but not Zecora who had seen him already), and even GIR, gasped at his revealed antennae. Using both hands, one for each eye, he then pinched his contact lenses off of his huge Irken eyeballs, revealing their true pupil-less solid pink appearance, which earned another gasp from most of the onlookers, and a curious "Ooooh…" from the pink one. Zim cringed as he looked back up at all the things staring at him. While the other two looked like shaved apes with clothes and funny mane-styles, Zim's appearance was more akin to the ponies' general idea of what an actual space alien might look like, which prompted this long awkward silence. "So… if you're not a… human… then what are you?" Twilight inquired. "I'm Irken," he begrudgingly replied, even though he should have been proud of his answer. Zim put his wig and contacts back on. "Have you been hiding so long your true form, that it no longer feels like the norm?" Zecora asked with a concerned face, trying to offer moral support by walking closer to the little green guy. It was as if the zebra beast had read his mind. "Of course not! I just don't like them staring at me!" Zim lied as he pointed a shaky finger at the ponies. There was another moment of silence as the ponies all exchanged glances at each other. "Can we go home now? I'm tired of all this talking," Rainbow complained. "Well, um… I don't know. Applejack? Do you think these… new friends of ours could sleep in your barn?" Twilight asked the farm pony. "I- I s'pose so…" She answered. "They could stay at my house!" Fluttershy butt in. "I mean um… if that's ok…" On the walk through the dark, creepy forest… "I wonder if dad's noticed we're gone…" Dib mused aloud. "Meh," Gaz returned. "What?" Was all Dib could say to her answer after having been nearly beaten to death by her for making her miss dinner night with dad. Was all that only for the pizza…? Dib was pretty sure it was also for missing rare quality time with their father… Meanwhile, on a different Earth… Tap, tap, tap, tap A black rubber boot impatiently tapped on the floor. "Gaz, come in Gaz." "Dib, come in Dib." "Hmm… it's been THREE hours now, and still no sign of my children," Professor Membrane said to the walls of his empty house with a clenched fist. "It's not like Gaz to miss our annual family dinner night! Maybe Dib, but not Gaz!" He tried looking at the computer screen displaying a map that would show where in the world his children's wrist watches-slash-video communicators were at the moment, but alas, the locations of either could still not be found. "Well, if their locations can't be found, that leaves only three possible options! ONE! Both of their communicators are in a Faraday cage that's blocking the GPS signals. TWO! Both of them were completely and utterly DESTROYED by a nuclear explosion, the only possible thing that could damage the locators in those communicators! Or THREE! They are no longer on the planet…" The professor stroked his chin with his black rubber-gloved hand through the very tall collar on his lab coat that covered even his nose. Professor Membrane had long since grown used to his son's INSANE talk about aliens and spaceships. But now he wondered. "My poor, insane son…" "Professor!" A voice called from seemingly nowhere. Membrane's goggles lit up and inside he could see a video call from one of his subordinates. "Are you done with…" the scientist held up a paper, "the 'annual family dinner night' yet? You have a meeting with the Secretary of Defense in half an hour!" "I won't be able to make it." "What?! Sir, you can't just blow him off, he's had this appointment for over a year!" "Well, tell him we'll have to reschedule," And with that, the pulled the wire to his goggles, unplugging them and abruptly ending the call. As much help as his squadron of assistants could offer in finding his children, he knew how they could get when he tried to avoid his appointments. Besides, this was something he had to do himself. Back to his previous train of thought, he recalled Dib mentioning a spaceship he was working on in the garage. And although Professor Membrane knew his son had his father's intelligence, he still expected nothing more than a garbage can with fireworks tied to it, or some other juvenile attempt. Opening the door to the garage, he flicked on the light switch and looked around. "No wonder I don't park in here anymore."