To say that Blood Clop was displeased would be an understatement. He had just witnessed his good friend be put to rest by this human. Not only Necro hoof was gone, but so was his pack that was once his family. He himself had personally made them become his friends many years ago. They were once stage performers traveling all across Equestria, with their son traveling with them. At first they were very afraid, but after searching for them all over the forest, they were no longer scarred. And what good friends they became!
And in one strike by the human's carriage, they were gone forever with the exception of Necro Hoof. The human had personally put him to rest all on his own and it angered him very much. The human's strange carriage was much faster than any pony he had ever met. It had over passed him merely moments he had sent Crimson Tail to warn Sunny Town.
Humans…..how could he have seen it coming? He vaguely remembered a little bit about them when he was once a young colt so long ago in his old life. They were really nothing more than fairy tales as no pony had ever seen one before and quite frankly he really didn't believe it. The sight he witnessed clearly disproved it and what a strange sight it was.
The human had come out of what he had correctly guessed was a carriage, albeit a pony less one. He was wearing very strange clothing and was wearing some type of mask that head never seen before. He was also wearing some type of vest that had weird looking things in it and an outfit that covered him all over. It had a weird color pattern that resembled the forest in both pattern and color. Some kind of camouflage maybe?
Hay, even if it wasn't dark, he might have had trouble seeing him from far way unless he got close. And even then he still might have got him with his strange weapon. They best he could describe it was that it was metal with reddish wood and it had a strange orange claw on it. And it was loud, very loud indeed.
He was currently running as fast as he could to warn Sunny Town that he needed help in taking this human down. While he would be very content to just eat him and leave his corpse there, the Blanks would very much like to have him as a friend. Still, the memory of the human male that called himself Konrad was still fresh in his mind. It played in his mind just as it had minutes ago.
"My name is Konrad. I'm a human, and I like making new friends."
"What a lie. You don't swat the hoof way from some pony who offers you friendship." thought Blood Clop.
And then the memory of him executing Necro Hoof entered his mind with his anger rising.
"I'd like to make a counter offer."
KRACK!
"You can go fuck yourself!"
Blood Clop had no idea what the word "Fuck" meant but he merely guessed that it was some sort of vulgar word. Could it be their version of the word buck? This angered him to the point he was growling while he was running, which he had never done before. The arrogance this human had shown towards Necro Hoof was very insulting. He acted as if he was superior to a pony, which was very absurd when he thought about it.
Was it even worth having this "HU-MAN" as a friend?
"Necro Hoof thought so and if he did, it must be worth having him as a friend." thought Blood Clop.
That made Blood Clop consider the newcomer a bit differently. After all Necro Hoof and his family did have their rough start together, but they were very nice afterword. Perhaps this human wasn't that bad after all. He just needed to be aggressively asserted into friendship. And the whole situation wasn't that bad now that he had witnessed another unexpected newcomer as well.
Just before he left, he saw a pony come out of hiding but it just wasn't any ordinary pony, it was an Alicorn! An Alicorn had come out of hiding, and walked forward towards the human. What a surprise that had been. She claimed she was a Princess of Equestria, and he was inclined to believe her. The only Princess he remembered was Princess Celestia from long ago, and that she was the only Alicorn he knew existed. The new Alicorn claimed to the human that she was the sister of Princess Celestia. How that was possible he didn't know.
If she was indeed a real Princess, they would have a powerful "friend" indeed. Along with the human too, they would gain not only two new friends, but the greater capability to obtain more new friends each year. Sunny Town would certainly be livelier every year. He also wondered what they would be like once they were converted and protected like the others. Unfortunately, as great an opportunity it was, this also presented a potential problem.
"If she is a Princess, and escapes with this human, they could go to Canterlot and bring reinforcements before Nightmare Night is over. Or at the very least, prevent others from wandering into Everfree Forest."
This wasn't good at all, if that happened they could ruin the party from being better each year, and possibly put them all to rest. This all had to be Ruby's fault, it was the only thing that made sense.
"This is exactly what Ruby wanted, to ruin the party. I guess Grey Hoof was right that she had to go all those years ago."
Blood Clop definitely didn't want the party to be ruined. It was always so much fun that he never wanted it to end. None of them, be it the Blanks or Blood Hooves, wanted it to end at all. But there were always party poopers and they needed to be dealt with. Too much was on the line now, the chance to get two unique new friends and not to mention a chance to become Crimson Tail's Stallion friend.
"Yeah, it will be a good party indeed. I will get two unique good friends and a lovely mare." Thought Blood Clop.
The thought of that possibility happening made his attitude improve a little bit, but in order for that scenario to become reality he knew he would have to be smart. This human first of all would be the greatest challenge. He knew he couldn't get into the carriage, due to the fact he didn't know how, and that it was made of metal.
There was also the issue of his weapon, he didn't know what else it could do and if it would stop working at some point. He had that vest of stuff that might have been more claws, so he could assume he would run out eventually. That was something he just wasn't sure he could take a risk on. A straight attack wouldn't work and he needed to slow them down at least.
"The environment…that is my tool. I'll use it to slow him down." thought Blood Clop as he jumped over a branch. "Plus, we have greater numbers too, and the night is almost here."
It could work, it had to work for he had little options at this point. He would have a better chance if he could get them out of it. And when he could get them out, he would overwhelm them with the rest of his friends. After eating the human, slowly of course, he would take great pleasure in making him a new body.
Crimson Tail, being a mare of course, would get her first chance at making a new friend with the Alicorn and what a privilege it would be for her. And what good friends they would be! He also couldn't but help wonder when converting them was done, how he was going to ask Crimson Tail for a dance. That would be interesting. With a rapidly evolving idea in his mind, he continued to pick up the pace.
"I wonder what the human will be like when he is converted. Maybe he will be like Necro Hoof once I get to know him."
He also then remembered how the human had acted towards the Alicorn and it was humorous to say the least. He just couldn't see it, but then again in his old life he had seen other odd couples. He remembered a donkey and pony, but an Alicorn and a mythological being known as a human? He didn't even have hoofs or four legs. He then imagined them trying to dance together at the party and how funny it would be. He totally didn't have a chance.
"Well….maybe not another Necro Hoof, but we'll see when it is done."
And with that last thought, he ran towards Sunny Town dodging tree after tree laughing with his evil raspy voice all the way.
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It had been a good few minutes since Konrad drove his vehicle straight into Everfree Forest and still continuing down the forest pathway. There had been a few turns here and there, and Konrad just took random directions hoping to find some indication that he was still in the real world.
He was doing his best to remain calm playing the song "J'adore Hardcore" on the IPod, but seeing Ruby and the Blood Hooves still unnerved him. His trip was supposed to be fun, but instead he was trusted into Equestria. He was starting to wonder if he was just hallucinating, then he decided to slap himself.
SMACK!
"Ouch! Perhaps that was little too hard? Maybe just light pat would have been better. Am I still in Equestria?"
Although it was getting darker out, there was still enough sunlight peering through the forest canopy. He looked left real quick and saw that it was nothing but just a normal forest. Breathing a sigh of relief, he then looked out the passenger window and saw much of the same…..nothing. Now Konrad was feeling much better and was starting to consider going back, after thinking he just had a brain glitch.
That was until he saw a patch of Poison Joke flowers pass by the truck. They were just as blue as there were on the show and it was almost as if they were giving him the troll face as he passed by. Then then imagined the blue flowers with the Troll face, found it revolting, and immediately threw it out of his mind.
"I didn't see that." thought Konrad in denial mode.
"Of course you did! Are you blind? Yeah, maybe this isn't the best of circumstances, but hey you're in the MLP universe. Most bronies would kill for this chance." Chimed in Ian.
"Quiet! I've just about had enough of you. This is your fault that I'm going insane. None of this is supposed to happen, and those were just flowers that looked like Poison Joke."
"Wow, are really in denial aren't you? And for your information I am your conscious, you can't get rid of me. Well the manifestation of your friend will go away until you accept being a brony."
"Not going to happen anytime soon."
More Poison Joke flowers kept showing up every now and then as if they were a silent reminder that he was in Equestria. It was quite obvious he was in the MLP world and in the non-cannon creepy pasta version none the less.
"Damn. Well, I still don't see any Blood Hooves, Apple Bloom, or Princess Luna, so maybe they aren't here. If so then that means I can go back and head to town and pray to God that it is Silent Hill. Besides I'm getting hungry and have a thirst for some beer."
"You barely have been in the forest for a few minutes. Do I have to remind you of what is a stake here again? Man, I never would have guessed you'd try to cower your way out of your biggest fantasy."
"SotB was never my fantasy, nor did I ever like it. I mean they ate Luna for crying out loud! I lo-"
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Point is SotB is not my fantasy, and if you're trying to convince me that this is, you are totally wrong."
"I admit that this is bit darker than what Equestria is supposed to be but I know you are a.."
Ignoring his conscious he continued to look forward to see where he was going. Still scanning the pathway, he realized that he couldn't see as well as he had the moment he entered the forest. He turned his low beam lights on, and the pathway visibility became much better. There was still nothing but the occasional Poison Joke patch and some other plants he didn't recognize.
He then noticed that there was another pathway coming up. Unsure if he should take the turn on the left side or the right, he decided that it didn't matter and then took the right pathway. The pathway was surprisingly not that bad for the vehicle, but there was the occasional stick or rock in the way. His conscious had decided to be quiet for now, which was a relief.
He then wondered if Zecora's hut was nearby ,and wondered what her reaction would be like. Just as she was in the cartoon, the HiE fan fictions always had her speaking with some sort of cryptic rhyme. How anyone or anypony could keep talking like that was a mystery to him. Then again this whole reality revolving around him was a damn mystery.
Speaking of HiE fan fictions, was also worried about how they would react to humans. Half of the time they would initially be shocked and then offer Lemonade the next second, and in the other ones such as Human: Shades of Gray, first contact would be quite disastrous. He wondered exactly what had happened with the first and second human between the ponies, and made a mental note to read the other series when he got back. Well that is if he got back from this weird day.
He started thinking about the Blood Hooves and their damn creepiness. After the feeling of disgust and contempt for them passed, he then contemplated how he could take them down. In SotB and SFA, they weren't fought, damaged or destroyed by any of the players. Then again it was MLP and he never saw any of them fight other than Jade when the dragon attacked Ponyville, and in the cartoons no one ever died.
Most of the blanks were slow as far as he could remember, with the exception to that one fucking Blank that ran really fast in short, but repetitive sprints. He got cursed numerous times by that guy, and once it even pushed the rock out of the way and got him. After much patience and cursing, he got the fast Blank's pattern down and was able to run past him.
If he ever came across that Blank, Roneo he thought it was, he would enjoy killing him. He could only hope that if it did catch him, that it wouldn't hurt or better yet that humans were immune to the blank curse. It was a chance that he wasn't willing to take however and more importantly, he really could only hope that the rules of zombie fighting would have carried over in this reality.
Using guns always worked and fire definitely would kill them for sure. If they had Necromorph properties, then he would seriously be screwed unless he had a Plasma Torch or a Line Gun, which didn't exist. If they could be killed, he would take extra precaution of stomping out their limbs just as Isaac Clark had done. He also contemplated about the Blanks, as their method of fighting was different.
He noticed that in the games they had relied on catching Apple Bloom, and then cursing her. Whether it was 8-bit or fan art, a cursed Apple Bloom was definitely something he did not like. He could just imagine her fear on her little pony face at being cursed. This also reminded him of her doing the sad face he saw during the episode he first saw her perform, excluding the brunch scene in "Mare in the Moon". Oh how he just wanted to hug her.
And Princess Luna, he so wanted to just….."
"I know what you're thinking."
"Beer?"
"No, a certain Blue Alicorn."
Konrad was really starting to get annoyed at his conscious. The involuntary mental manifestation of his friend just wouldn't take a break.
"Blue Moon beer actually, I could go for some." A flat out useless lie but he would be damned if he let this thing get the better of him.
"Yeah…right."
Then he continued to scan ahead until he saw something come into view. There were four figures in the pathway about two hundred yards ahead. At first he couldn't make them out, and was hoping that they would be human shaped, but his disappointment became apparent as the figures became more defined. The closest were three of them in a line formation similar to one you would see in Football. They appeared to be gray, black, and ooh crap…
"Blood Hooves!"
He continued to see what else was beyond them as he got closer. He could tell that is was blue, pony shaped, and ooh noes…
"Princess Luna!"
Sure enough it was the Princess and the Blood Hooves. This sight in front put him into alert status, pumping blood and adrenaline through his veins. If anyone could have noticed it they would have seen an exclamation point just hover above his head. It was at this point the then floored it, heading straight for the Blood Hooves, praying that Luna would be smart to get out of the way.
"Alright let's do this…..LEEEEEROY JEEENKINS!" yelled Konrad as the song "J'adore Hardcore" was still blaring in the vehicle. Not a exactly a fighting song but it kept him going strong and active in this already stressful situation.
As he got closer the Blood Hooves turned around and just stared at him like deer in the head lights with their creepy red eyes. This was good for as soon as they turned their attention, he saw Princess Luna jump out of the way and into the forest. The Blood Hooves just continued to stare at him, and then the bronco got closer and closer until….
THUMP!
The vehicle made contact with all three of them, and then Konrad stopped the bronco immediately. Taking a quick breath, he grabbed his AKM, turned off the music and then opened the driver's door. Taking a quick look around on the driver's side of the vehicle, he noticed something was underneath the driver's side. It was a Blood Hoof corpse completely flattened like a pancake of bones, flesh and disgusting looking pony coat that was all black and gray.
It looked relatively small for a Blood Hoof, maybe it was once a colt? It didn't matter really as it was just a Blood Hoof and it was dead, really dead. This came as a relief to Konrad, know that he had a chance to kill these things. Feeling a new surge of confidence, he kicked dirt towards the former Blood Hoof and spoke,
"Eat it bitch."
To most people the Soviet Mask was rather uncomfortable, but it didn't really bother him unless it was hot and humid outside. Thank goodness it wasn't hot, or else it would have been very miserable. He continued towards the front of the vehicle in search for the other Blood Hooves that he had hit. Seeing nothing he decided to move towards the passenger side of the vehicle and didn't go much past the right corner of the vehicle.
He spotted another Blood Hoof corpse and its shape was more similar to the female ponies he saw on the show. It too was all bony, had rotten flesh, and a dead gray color coat, but there was another thing that stood out.
"What the fuck?! Where is its damn head?" spoke Konrad.
Apparently, its head had collided with the vehicle's right front corner, cracked passenger headlight and smeared coagulated blood all over it. He continued to try and find its head, but gave up after three seconds. Where ever the former mare's head was, it was long gone.
Raising his rifle, he returned to the front to try and find the third Blood Hoof. There wasn't anything near the front of the car and he then aimed his rifle trying to see if there was anything. Unable to spot the third Blood Hoof, he lowered his rifle slightly, but not completely and then turned to the front of the vehicle for signs of impact.
The front of the Bronco had a slight dent in the front hood and there was a decent amount of coagulated blood along with the same dead gray hair strands that the blood hooves had. So had indeed hit the damn thing but was starting to wonder where it went to. He wiped his left fingers through the mess of blood and noticed a small trail of it over the Bronco.
He raised his rifle and slowly made his way towards the back of the truck on the driver's side of the vehicle. The reason he did this was so he could get back into the truck should the need arise. While he was scanning on the driver's side he noticed something in the corner of his eye. The object in question didn't blend into the forest's natural color despite how dark it was getting. It was blue, sparkly, and had eyes?
"Luna!" thought Konrad, "I can't believe she is real! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!"
Excitement was surging through Konrad, for his "favorite character" was right there in the bushes watching him. Though he was surprised she just didn't run off, because it would have been the thing he would have done had he been in her shoes. Well, horse shoes that is if he was a pony.
"Keep cool Konrad, make sure the area is safe first and don't let her know that the Equestrian world is a cartoon. You only got once chance to make a first impression." thought Konrad in a surprisingly rational manor.
"Well, it looks like there is hope for you after all." Said Ian in Konrad's mind.
"Quiet Ian, I need to concentrate."
He continued forward as he realized there was still a threat out there to both him and Luna. As he made it to the back of the truck, he saw the third Blood Hoof. Its legs were seriously cracked and bent in odd angles. Thinking of what Isaac Clark would do, he slowly advanced towards the undead pony, and was planning on smashing its limbs.
"I swear this damn thing better not jump up like they usually do. If only I had the freaking power suit he had." thought Konrad.
He eventually got closer and closer until he was just a few feet from the corpse. It had no eyes and just like his initial observation, its entire upper body was intact save for the legs of course. It was clear that it was stallion by its general shape. Learning how to spot the different genders between horses was something he learned after taking a generally interest in the show.
Then just like in the games and movies, it jumped up and made a lunge at him. This scared him and he immediately backed up raising his rifle at the Blood Hoof. Apparently it was waiting for him to get close, as they always do. But the strike never came, as the Blood Hoof tried to bit down on him as sickening crunch was heard.
The Blood Hoof just merely collapsed on his own weight due to the fact that his own legs were fucked up. It tried to get back up but it just couldn't support his weight. The undead stallion then huffed in frustration, and then turned his attention straight towards Konrad. The Blood hoof was now staring directly at Konrad.
He got a quick look at the Blood Hoof for the first time and it was something. It definitely was freaky as he expected a damn zombie to be, he just didn't expect to see a zombie pony though. It had red crimson eyes just like they had in SFA, and it was something indeed. If it hadn't been wounded by his car he certainly would have been terrified. Perhaps that was why ponies never fought back against these things.
Well, considering the fact that it was a kid's show and that this was an alternate universe version of it, it didn't surprise him in the least. This thing was frustrated at him and he had never seen a zombie or an undead being, whether it was in games or movies, express frustration. For once this thing had encountered something it had never seen nor that could harm it.
Heck, were they so weak in the HiE fan fictions that even foam swords were considered dangerous to them? Fat chance, was what he thought, as only fools underestimated a foe only to pay for it later. Then after seeing the thing stare at him in anger and frustration, Konrad immediately started to feel a surge in confidence.
The Blood Hoof in front of him was mad, and real mad at that. He had proven that they were vulnerable and that he could best them. He slowly started to laugh, then pointed at him, and then spoke at the Blood Hoof,
"You mad bro?"
The Blood Hoof just stared at him, continuing to glare with his freaky red eyes.
"Yeah, you mad."
"You know for once Konrad, I actually like your trolling."
Ignoring Ian's remark, he continued to laugh and point at the Blood Hoof until it spoke up.
"You are a strange being indeed, but you are making a very big mistake. We only want to protect ponies from the bad things in the world. Even though you're not a pony, and that you've hurt my friends here, I'm still willing to let you become my friend. You like having friends don't you?" spoke the Blood Hoof in a not surprisingly evil raspy voice.
"Wow." Thought Konrad, "This thing is desperate isn't it?"
He knew Princess Luna was still watching and he really wanted to make his best impression on her. He couldn't show weakness in front of her, guessing that she was scared, and vulnerable….
"Snap out of it! This is real and you got a freaking zombie in front of you for crying out loud!" thought Konrad, showing more of his rational side.
If the Ian manifestation was impressed, he didn't show it nor speak it. Konrad then snapped back to reality and attempted to be as much of a badass as best as he could. He slung his rifle over his shoulder and just did his best badass pose that he had seen the Raccoon City S.T.A.R.S. members do from time to time again.
The Blood hoof in front of him spoke up again.
"What are you anyway? Well, it doesn't matter. The others and I can protect you from the bad world. Please, we only want to be your friend." Said the Blood Hoof.
It was quite obvious it was trying to make the best of his situation. It was trying to convince him to become one of them. There was no way in hell he was going to just lay over and be eaten. He highly doubted that the S.T.A.R.S team would even do such a thing. They were after all the elite of the Police in North America.
Laughing at the thing's proposal, Konrad decided that it was time to introduce himself and show no fear. He then took his mask of and let it hang to the side of his vest fully exposing his face for the first time.
"God I hope this impresses her."
"I'm telling you Konrad, you're a-"
Ian didn't get to finish it, as Konrad spoke to the Blood Hoof.
"My name is Konrad Ford, I'm a human, and I do like making friends." spoke Konrad.
He could only imagine what was going through Princess Luna's mind, but he hoped he made a good impression and planned on pushing it if it had indeed worked.
He then turned his attention back to the Blood Hoof, who was starting to do a creepy ass smile. He guessed that it was an evil version of the smile the ponies did one the show, minus the toy sound. Man was he going to enjoy ruining its parade, as if Blood Hoof actually thought it had convinced him to become a Blood Hoof or Blood Hand.
Time to act now and end this encounter, as he really wanted to talk to Luna. He then started to take a more renegade approach to the option of the word refusal.
"But it is quite obvious that you are just plain well…..how can I say this? Umm Evil."
As if on cue, the Renegade Symbol appeared in the corner of his eye and he gave into its beckoning red lure.
"So I'd like to make a counter offer."
The Blood Hoof suddenly stopped smiling and then took on a confused expression. That expression started to change as he slowly raised his rifle, pointing the muzzle straight at the Blood Hoof's face. The being realized that he was going to end him and that it finally figured out that it was a weapon being aimed at its face.
The last thing Konrad noticed was that its crimson eyes widened like Christmas tree lights. He then pulled the trigger and felt it's all too familiar recoil and brighter than normal muzzle flash, which was due to the low light conditions.
KRACK!
"How about you go fuck yourself!"
The Blood Hoof's face was blown into chunks of bone, flesh, and some brain matter splattering over the path way. Its eye were no longer red any more, and there really wasn't much of a head left. The body just slumped over sideways, and finally stopped twitching after ten seconds. Yep, it was pretty much dead alright.
Glad that this thing was finally dead, he lowered his rifle, and prepared himself to meet Princess Luna. He decided that he would do his best not to squeal like Rainbow Dash, for that would definitely be a turn off to her. He was also a bit worried about revealing to her or anypony about the show, as not only that would be pretty bad, it could break the fourth wall of reality. Well as if that hasn't been done already.
"Great how am I going to act towards her?" though Konrad.
"By not blabbing about guns or being Gary Stu?" replied Ian.
"Duh! Nopony wants that at all!"
"Just making sure. Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you!"
"A TOTO reference, very clever. Now shut up."
This was it, the moment he had been waiting for.
"I hope she is just a pretty as she is on the show."
Finally getting the courage to call her out, he just checked his gun one more time and then spoke in a cocky attitude,
"You can come out now. I won't hurt you."
At first there was no response, then he heard a ruffling noise in the bushes. He slung the rifle over his shoulder and turned around to get a look at her. Sure enough it was her coming out of the bushes. He could only make her eyes for a bit, until she got roughly five feet from him. She then just stood there with the same proud royal face she bore on the episode of Nightmare Night.
Then the most awkward silence ensued for one minute. They were both trying to get a good look at each other and both of them really didn't know what to say. Taking a good look at her he noticed several things, the most obvious was that she looked…..
"Wow, she looks…terrible. What the heck happened to her?" thought Konrad.
He noticed several things immediately that caught his attention. She was roughly the same height as him around 5'8", maybe an inch or two shorter. Her wings looked slightly singed and that made him wonder how that happened, as he recalled none of the Blanks or the Hooves had the ability to shoot fire.
Another detail he noticed was that her hair was much dimmer than what it was on the show, and it too showed signs of singeing. It however dim it was, it was still free flowing just as it was on the show. Despite how rather ragged compared to how she looked on the show, he thought that she was…well…
"I know what you're thinking Konrad."
"As always, you think I'm a brony, and a furry lover blah blah blah."
While Konrad was thinking about her and trying to figure out what to say, Princess Luna was also doing the same thing as him.
________________________________________
"Wow, he looks…..umm….confused? Are there no ponies where he is from?" thought Luna.
She got another look at him and this time it was much closer. His eyes were blue as her, his mane a brown color, and it was as far as she could tell short unlike the average stallion. Apparently humans didn't have a muzzle and that was rather…different. But then again not all beings of Equestria had them and it wasn't an entirely odd or bad to her.
She then took a look at his legs, and thought how different they were compared to the two legged beings of Equestria. Well aside from Dragons, she couldn't remember about how many of them there were. And the fact that he had no tail for balance made her wonder how he could even walk up let alone stand up.
He just kept staring at her, as if he was trying to stare into her soul. She then noticed he took his gaze away and then began to well…it was almost as if he was checking her out.
"Good, I guess my looks do work after all. I could press this for my advantage."
"And that you enjoy the attention. It has been awhile since anypony or should I say anything took a good look at you like that."
It was the same voice from earlier, and she was not too pleased with it.
"Ugh, go away strange thoughts." replied Luna in her head.
Hello?
"Why this is what you wanted isn't it?" the voice replied again.
"I can't wait to get back, take a bath and get rid of you of strange voice."
She noticed that he was looking at her wings, then her hoofs, and then she guess that he was looking at her mane.
"Apparently he has never seen an Alicorn before. Are there any ponies where he is from? And where exactly is he from?" thought Luna who was still in deep thought.
Ma'am?
"Perhaps you should ask him yourself. Or are you in too much awe of the attention you're getting?"
Hello…
"Ugh, I don't know why you keep popping in my head. Are you my conscious or am I finally letting this night drive crazy?"
HEY!
Snapping back to reality, she then looked at Konrad who was just smiling. His teeth were very much the same just as she saw earlier but the ones in his back were much more flat and were more similar to a ponies back teeth. This was strange indeed, as this just added more to her curiosity.
Attempting to think of something to say, the man in front of her finally spoke,
"Well, now that I got your attention may I have your name too?" spoke the human with a calm voice.
"This is it Princess, time to use your diplomacy skills, stand up straight, and speak eloquently." thought Princess Luna.
"Greetings human! I am Princess Luna of Equestria, Guardian of the Night Sky, and I am grateful for your assistance in my time of need." Spoke Luna in her royal voice.
"Not the best royal introduction, but it will have to do." thought Luna.
She had hoped it would work and that royalty would mean something to humans. She got her answer when he replied.
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"Wow, she even talks like that in real life. How cool!" thought Konrad.
He was a bit excited that he was finally talking to her, and then wondered how he was going to respond. He realized that he needed to impress upon her that he could be a gentleman and that treating her like royalty, since she was in the first place, would very much increase his standing with her. He also could use some more paragon points too, figuratively speaking.
He then took that said Paragon option, and then got on his left knee. He then spoke looking into her blue eyes,
"Greetings Oh Princess Luna of Equestria! I am in awe of your nightly beauty, for it is as rare in my land, as is the wondrous sight of a blue moon! Even this dreadful night of darkness and demons, cannot extinguish your wonderful elegance, grace and nightly mane shine! The pleasure is all mine."
And with that he gently raised her left hoof with his right hand. Her coat was really smooth as if it was almost like skin, and surprisingly had the faint scent of lavender. Focusing above her crystal like horse shoe, he gently planted a kiss. He then slightly massaged the area above her hoof to comfort her a bit and to experience her touch. It was freaking awesome!
He then looked up again towards her eyes, trying to give her the most charming smile he could give. He just hoped that it worked. Because if it didn't his ego would be deflated and not to mention embarrassed. This was after all first contact between Humanity and Pony kind.
And he was more than satisfied with the result. She was blushing! Although how she could through her coat was mystery, but sure enough she was reddening just underneath her eyes just like the pictures on Deviant Art. And it was obvious she was trying not to smile.
"Dude! I'm telling you that you are a brony for sure! Why are you even trying to deny it anymore?!"
Konrad just merely performed the troll face in his mind towards his conscious, and he could swear he heard a huff in frustration.
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Princess Luna was doing her best to maintain her composure. This human had completely thrown her for a loop. Nopony, Prince or otherwise, had ever complimented her like that. She had always wanted somepony to call her those things which she desperately wanted to feel like.
And out of all beings in Equestria was a creature, no, a man that was supposed to be a myth had called her a rare beautiful treasure of the night. She felt her face start to warm up, and her heart flutter a bit
"Oh my! Nopony has ever said that to me before. He thinks I'm beautiful, even in my dreadful state!" thought Luna who was still enthralled at the complement towards her.
Your highness…
"Fancy him yet Princess?" the voice returned.
"Be quiet! I do not… I.."
May I have your attention please?
"You did want to be thought of those qualities, what is the matter? He isn't bad looking you know, for a mythological being."
"He may be a little bit attractive but I am merely just surprised at how gentlecoltly he has behaved so far. I will merely just ask for his help and-"
PRINCESS LUNA!
Again she snapped back to reality as he shouted her name. She had let her mind drift off and forgot that he was there. Why was her mind doing this? She blinked and then noticed that his smile had worn off and was replaced with an expression of concern. He still was holding he left hoof and slightly massaging it.
It felt very nice, it was making her relax even more, despite the area they were in. she still had no idea what the five appendages were, but they were heavenly. He then let her hoof go and stood back up again. She almost wished that he didn't stop.
"Well, pardon me for interrupting your thoughts your highness, but it isn't safe here." Said Konrad.
"Yes human. I require your assistance in evacuating this dreadful forest and I would be very much grateful if you would escort me out of here in your…..carriage." spoke Luna.
That killed him, nopony definitely had no a clue what a car was. Strange how they had ponies pulling a train in one episode and then the engine moving on its own in another. Was the concept that strange or were the writers just having a derp moment? At least it was an improvement he guessed.
"That won't be a problem, but for future reference this carriage is actually called a Car or more specifically a truck. I'll spare you the details on how it works, because it would most likely bore you. And with that in mind walk with me to the other side please." Said Konrad.
He then turned around and motioned for her to follow. She walked behind him staying close due to the fact that there could still be more of those abominations nearby. The then briefly wondered if he had a cutie mark and wondered what it would look like. None of the books she read so long ago during her filly years of magic tutoring mentioned if humans had cutie marks or not.
She then turned her attention to his flanks, and wondered if it was on his clothes. After seeing that there wasn't anything there, she then wondered if it was underneath his pants.
"My my Luna! You are definitely not thinking very lady like now aren't you! And you just met the man!" said the voice.
"I'm just curious if he has a cutie mark or not!"
"Are you sure you just don't want to get a good look at him? You could ask you know…..I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige, considering the wonderful compliment from earlier. I'm sure you would very much enjoy it."
"Enough of you! Leave my mind this instant!"
She then snapped back to reality again and they were almost to the carriage um, Truck door.
It appeared as if he pulled some sort of button and then moved the handle on the door . As Konrad opened the door using his rather odd appendages she began to wonder what they were called. She then decided to just ask him as her curiosity was starting to get the better of her.
"Excuse me Konrad, but what are those on your arms?"
"Hmm? Oh these are called fingers attached to the palm of my hand. I'll demonstrate for you."
He then made a quick demonstration of his fingers, then his palm, and then both at the same time emphasizing that the entire hand can act independently or as one unit of action. It seemed very advanced, even more so compared to a hoof. He then continued his explanation.
"We use them to grab, poke, prod, and another of various actions. Just imagine them as claws but without them being sharp. I can explain some more once I get you inside. Now I have to warn to that this ride might be uncomfortable. The seats are meant for human bodies, and for human comfort, but I will do my best to make sure it is fine for you."
"As of now, I really just want to get out of this place. I hate this night enough as it is."
"Yeah well, hopefully it will be over for the both of us. Now, if you will allow me to help you in your Highness, we will get going soon enough."
She took a look inside the truck and saw the rather odd seat. It was in an upright position and the back of it was leaning backwards. The seat cover was made of some form of cotton, and it was a dark blue. That was nice, and she could pick up a rather odd scent that she had never smelled before. She had no idea what it was.
She then used her front legs to hoist herself into the seat, and then used her back legs the get in. She then tried to sit in the seat as anypony would and found out that humans seats just what they were like, odd and uncomfortable. How anypony could sit like this was beyond her. Then to make things even more difficult her horn was stating to hit the roof of the truck.
She then lowered her ears, and then looked at Konrad,
"Umm, this truck is…not meant for ponies isn't it? And what is that scent I detect?"
"Like I said, built by humans, for humans, and that scent is from an air freshener called "New Car."
"That is a rather odd and unimaginative name for a scent. Wait, are there no ponies where you are from?"
He then just smiled at her as if he knew an inside joke, and wasn't going to tell her. He then just covered his mouth with his fingers all curved up what into looked like a ball and performed muffled chuckle. She then briefly imagined if his hand could be used liked a hoof in that configuration. Strange this hand of his.
"That is for another time your highness, for now let's just focus on getting you out of here."
"Yes of course good sir."
"Ha!" thought Konrad with lulz smile on his face, "Still trying to talk like royalty. How interesting this is."
"Konrad?"
"Yes your Majesty?"
"What is it that you find humorous?" she spoke with her left eye brow raised.
"Nothing your Majesty. Now let me adjust the seat for you." Replied Konrad who was still sporting the smile.
He then grabbed the handle on the lower right side of the passenger seat, and the back of the seat slowly moved forward at an acute angle. The back of the seat was flat against her back, and he could tell it wasn't that comfortable for her. Too bad for her because it was only going to get worse.
"Hold on one second, I need to get the seat belt."
"The seat belt? What is this device that you speak of?"
"It's a restraining harness, it is used to prevent the passengers from slamming against the inside of the car in the event of a crash. It isn't comfortable but trust me, it is absolutely necessary."
"I trust your judgment good sir."
"Glad to know, now just stay still for a minute."
He then grabbed the seat belt, pulled it and wrapped it around Princess Luna. For a second, he couldn't see the coupler and was trying to find it. Well, of course he could see it, he just wanted an excuse to rub up against her. His left shoulder was slightly toughing her front chest area, and it was rather warm.
"I know what you're doing Konrad." Spoke Ian.
"Eeyup!" was all that he replied.
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While all this was going on Princess Luna was wondering what he was doing. It appeared as if he was trying to attach the hook like device on the belt to something, but couldn't find it. His left shoulder was slightly brushing up against her chest necklace and it was rather interesting to her.
"Do you still deny that you enjoy his touch?" the same voice popped into her head.
"For the last time, I do not."
"Your body's warmth says otherwise."
She then noticed that her top front chest area was slightly warm. His shoulder was warm as well.
"I'm just a bit tired that is all, and this "truck" doesn't exactly have a cool temperature for me."
"Sure Princess, just keep telling yourself that." Was all the voice said.
"Ugh! Where is it?" asked Konrad.
"Where is what?" replied Princess Luna.
"I'm looking for the…ah there it is."
In his other hand was another strange looking device. It had a small gray body and what looked like a strange red button in the middle of it, and a small slot on top. He put the hook inside the slot and a small click was heard.
Click!
"This is a coupler device for the seat belt. When you need to unlock it, just press the press button, and the belt will recoil back. Just be careful though, this particular belt tends to lash back. I've been meaning to get it fixed but I don't get a lot of passengers so it was kind of a low priority." Explained Konrad as he leaned back out.
The warmth of his shoulder was gone and for a slight moment she felt that she wished he could do it again.
"All you have to do is ask him you know…" said the voice in her head.
"Oh give it a rest strange voice. I will be very glad to rid of you soon."
Desperate to get her mind away from the voice, she decided to ask Konrad if there was anything he could do about the horn,
"Sir Konrad, is there anything that can be done regarding the discomfort of the roof?"
That made him lulz on the inside, she referred to him as "Sir Konrad".
"Please your highness, you may just call me Konrad. And no, I'm afraid I don't know what I can do about your horn hitting the roof, but hopefully the ride will be short. Speaking of which, where is the nearest town?"
Of course he knew she was going to say Ponyville but he just could not let her know about the world outside of Equestria.
That would just cause Chaos on a grand scale.
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Somewhere back in the Royal Canterlot Castle Grounds, were many stone statues that were near the maze for decoration. And among all of them was one in particular.
Discord.
Even though he was still in stone, he could sometimes briefly be aware of things around him in his stone like prison. Right now he was bored, as always being in stone was boring. It had no CHAOS! How was he supposed to have fun and bring anarchy?
But he was just bidding his time, until somepony or really anything would come close to bring enough chaos to release him once more. And how much fun he would have! He already had planned on making the rivers flow full of rich chocolate milk and then make the snow taste like vanilla.
Princess Celestia's room would so become a big bachelor's pad. He would invite all of his friends to just tear up the place. Well that is if he had any friends, but would just make chaos where ever he pleased. Yes…that was his real friend and everypony else was just a tool for his amusement.
As he pondered what to do after he got out, he heard something very odd. It had a voice unlike any other he had ever heard. He could sense something new, something different, and colt was it interesting. It was a single word spoken as if it was in something's mind, it happened to be his favorite word of all,
"Chaos"
"What?! Chaos! YES! Oh YES! This is wonderful! I just cannot wait to see what it thinking this right now. Oh the fun it will be! AHAHAHAHA!"
Then Discord simply calmed down and then collected his thoughts once more,
"All in due time, all in due time…"
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"There is a town called Ponyville just outside of Everfree Forest. When we get there, I would be able to send word to Canterlot of my…..unique experience, and I would need to have my Royal Guard escort you there." replied Princess Luna.
"Why?" thought Konrad. "Oh right, no humans ever seen before and all that jazz."
"May I ask why I need to go to this place called Canterlot? Other than to see you safely returned home, of course, may I assume it is your capital city?"
"Please do not take offense to this revelation, but my kingdom has never encountered humans before. Not even one human I'm afraid. If my subjects were to see you a mass panic might ensue and neither my sister nor I wish for that to happen.
"Oh…I see." Was all he replied with a frown.
Apparently, humans were considered a myth here. Makes sense considering they weren't in the show at least in the G4 version, but still HiE were as always a mix bag of reactions, and most of them were terrible. He just hoped that this one would not be terrible. He would have to do his best not to make that happen.
"You have been nothing but kind and noble to me, I wish for my kingdom to know you over time as friend of all of Equestria. My sister would very much like to meet you and her pupil in particular would be rather ecstatic to meet you too." Spoke Luna with a small smile on her face.
"Holy Crap!" thought Konrad, "She is talking about Princess Celestia, and Twilight Sparkle!"
"Admit it you're a brony…"
Ignoring Ian, he simply gave a fake confused look and asked,
"Your sister and her pupil?"
"My sister and co-ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia, and her student Twilight Sparkle."
"Well, that's nice and...wait? How can two Princesses rule a kingdom? That doesn't work from where I come from…oh never mind we can talk about that later. Let's just get out of here."
Not waiting for a reply, he just closed the door and walked around the front of the vehicle.
"This is going to be awesome!" thought Konrad as he imagined Rainbow Dash doing her awesome face.
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Princess Luna just watched him from inside and followed his movement as he went to the driver's side. She noticed that his seat had some sort of wheel attached to the front panel.
"Strange this "Truck" he uses, do all humans have this carriage? I suppose I'll know more about it later, and damn this seat of his."
"Would you prefer to walk outside? Or would you rather be in his warm company?"
"Of course I would prefer his warm…..stop it now you strange thoughts of mine."
Then the other door opened and Konrad simply sat in the seat closing while the door at the same time. She watched as he fastened his "Seat Belt" thing as he did with hers only that his was a much smoother in action.
"So that is how they sit. Very…different."
He then produced what looked like a key of some sort and inserted it into a slot on the side of the wheel. He then twisted it clockwise, and then the truck made a very terrible and awful screech noise. She cringed at the noise, and her ears went down showing how much she did not like it.
She put her front hooves on the panel in front of her trying her best not to lose balance in this odd seat. The truck was then vibrating slightly, and although it was not a bad sensation, it was definitely something she was not used to.
Konrad noticed this and simply said,
"Sorry, I should have warned you what I was about to do. The engine in the front is merely just turning and it always does that noise when I activate it."
"It is fine Sir, I uh mean, Konrad. This is just…..new for me that is all."
"Okay. Now just try to relax," said spoke Konrad as he reached for her left hoof and began massaging the area above her shoe, "and don't worry. You'll see your sister soon enough."
The sensation of his hand was once again very nice and she really enjoyed it. Of course it lasted only three seconds, but it was heavenly though she did her best not to admit it.
"You enjoyed it and you know it. Just go on and admit that you're a human lover."
"WHAT?! Now listen strange voice of mine, I just met the man, and while he is nice, I do NOT love him. He is nothing more than a Gentlecolt (Gentleman?) who just happened to cross my path."
Her thought was interrupted when she was thrown back against the seat even further. The truck was gaining speed fast and it was very sudden when it happened. She let out an uncharacteristically scream as if she was once again a little filly.
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As Konrad hit the gas pedal, he was surprised to hear a really girly scream come from Princess Luna. His plan to impress her about the car didn't quite go as he planned, but he could only hope it wouldn't get worse.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to go that fast all of a sudden either. It must be the gas pedal." Said Konrad.
"I hope you aren't trying to impress her you know. She hasn't rode a truck before."
"Well, maybe a little but I mean c'mon, these are the same ponies that can fly on their own, use magic and do Sonic Rainbooms! I highly doubt that they are as weak as some fan fictions portray them and I doubt she'll blow chunks." Rationalized Konrad.
"I hope your right, for both the sake of her and your bronyness. Mostly the bronyness though."
"Yeah sure, you just keep trying at that Ian."
"In either event don't you think you should get the puke bag by your seat ready? You know the one from your job?"
In fact Konrad did remember what his consciousness was talking about. He always carried a puke bag just in case he ever needed it. Whether he flew or rode a car, even though he never had to use it. It was better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
"Just hope she doesn't have too…"
He then turned to look at her and it wasn't good. She was facing forward with a green and a "I'm going to be sick face".
"Fuck." thought Konrad.
And with that thought he grabbed the puke bag with his right hand, and held the steering wheel with his left one. Carefully, he opened the puke bag with his right hand and then immediately put it underneath her muzzle just in time.
"Oh Princess…I feel bad for you….." thought a very sympathetic Konrad
Even though he just wanted to hold her, he had to slow the car down and hold the bag as it got grossly warm.
"Damn she didn't even last two minutes…SotB…I hate it."
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Shaking at this new experience of riding a "Truck", she hoped that the trip to Ponyville would be very short indeed considering how fast there were going. The trees were nothing more than a blur, and the car was going slightly up and down. She hoped that she wouldn't be sick and vomit in front of this human.
The embarrassment of looking unkempt was bad enough, and she wasn't sure if she could take it if it did indeed happen. This was most likely his first encounter with an Alicorn and maybe even pony kind. She could not generate bad opinions of her people, and a diplomatic incident on an unprecedented scale should it happen. It was her duty to be as much of a Princess as she could possibly be.
"You don't want him to think of you as an unworthy mare don't you?" said the strange voice once more.
"I…don't…want…to look bad for my ponies that is all." thought Luna trying her best not to get sick.
"Sure, that is all. Just your ponies and not him. I understand."
"Like I said, strange voice of mine. The image of my people is at stake here. Humanity was once thought of as myth, and now that I've met one, this changes my kingdom like never before."
"And that you like him as well, right?"
"Ye…NO! Stop it! I don't…feel…good that is all." said Luna while starting to feel green.
"You're not going to get rid of me that easily."
"What must I do to get rid of you strange voice?"
"You'll learn soon enough, but when you do it will already happen and you'll be glad when it does."
"Just…what…do…you mean…by that?" thought Luna who was really trying her best not to vomit as the truck moved forward.
"You'll see soon enough Princess."
"I…don't…understand…oh no!" thought Luna.
Then all of a sudden she lowered her muzzle and happened to put it in a bag that came out of nowhere. She then puked her guts out and immediately felt as bad as she did before she left the Castle. This definitely was one of the worst nights she ever had.
"At least you got this nice stallion or I should say man here with you." said the voice once more.
Princess Luna didn't have the strength to respond as she felt another push of vomit come out of her muzzle and into the bag.
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The current moment for both Princess Luna and Konrad was very awkward once again, though none of them had expected the night to turn out like this. Both were doing their damn best not to look like a fool in front of each other, and it really backfired. Konrad was trying to make her gush all over him in the first ten minutes of meeting her and he somehow had managed to make her yack. He was trying to be exotic, strong, and romantic, but it really didn't have much to show other than a bag of Alicorn puke.
"Damn. That didn't work the way I planned. I hope I can make her feel better after this, and somehow earn more Paragon points to use later. I guess I'll have to work harder to win her."
"Awww...you care for her. Now I know you really are a brony, and a horse furry."
"Ian...just not now."
Konrad continued to look at her as her eyes were closed, and her face was still green just like on the show.
Princess Luna on the other hand was trying to erase the image of her past and renew it for a better one. Then her looks went to hell, got attacked by Blood Hooves, and then happened to be rescued by a mythological but rather nice human male. The last part was actually good, as he had done nothing, but make her feel like she always wanted to feel. Convincing him to help her home and perhaps open a new dawn for Equestria was a plus too.
The touch of his fingers were very nice and she had thought about asking for his touch once more, that is when she got to know him better. The truck he rode however, she had no love for, and would not ride it again unless it was a matter of life or death. Unfortunately, this was a life or death situation, and to make matters worse she was forced to ruin her Princess like image in front of him after he complimented her so well when they met! A new being to Equestria none the less!
She could only hope he wasn't disgusted at her for it, and would not hold it against her.
"Don't fret Princess, he doesn't seem like that at all. He really is Gentlecolt after all or should I say Gentleman?" said the voice.
"This definitely was not my plan to neither vomit in front of him, nor be chased by Blood Hooves...but you are right. He does seem like a gentleman."
She then finished vomiting into the bag that he had produced. He pulled a rag out of what looked like a compartment in front of her. He then simply said,
"Look this way please."
Obeying his request, he wiped her muzzle gently and when he was done put the rag in the bag. He then sealed it up, and started to roll a lever on his door side multiple rotations. This rolled his window done and threw the bag containing her vomit out the window. When that was done, he rolled the window back up and turned his head towards her.
They looked at each other for five seconds and both of them were sporting a reddish hue of embarrassment on their faces before turning away.
Then both Konrad and Luna experienced the same thought as it entered their mind at once.
"This isn't how it is supposed to be…is it?"
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Yes! I finally got the chapter done! It was like nature was trying to troll all of my work away. Sorry for the lateness folks, my laptop crashed and I lost 5000 words! I had to write all of this back up, but I think it turned out better than it originally was written. No Apple Bloom in this chapter which bummed me out, but fear not I will make sure she gets more face time next chapter!
What do you guys think of Konrad and Princess Luna's first contact? Didn't go well for either of them did it? This story isn’t dead by any means, as the Blanks still have to have their asses I mean flanks get kicked. Work on chapter 7 has already been started. Eeyup! Hopefully I will post it back up in a day or two, and will have more Apple Bloom. Princess Luna has gotten too much face time for now, and I need sleep.
As always, give me your thoughts, criticism, and praises on the chapter. Again hope you guys and gals like it