“Ugh, this is boring!” Scootaloo announced as the three of them looked through the library. “What’s the point of this anyway? We’ll never find anything here! Let’s just do something else!”
Asher sighed to herself as she looked at the spines of the books. Interestingly enough, the titles were written in English, but the insides of each one were all just filled with squiggles as far as she could read. She knew she'd need Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s help reading through them, assuming she knew what she was looking for, which she didn’t. Besides, what was she even hoping to find? Some plot to destroy the world? It probably really was just a coincidence that the holiday that was coming up was on its one-thousandth anniversary, as well as the fact that it was being celebrated there.
The filly sighed to herself again, telling her friends, “I guess we can go… I guess there’s nothing here…”
“Do you really think something’s gonna happen during the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“I don’t know… I was kind of guessing more than anything… I mean, how can it be just a coincidence that I'm sent here for exactly number one thousand?” Asher asked, exasperated, sitting down roughly at the table in the library.
“Hey, maybe there’s something about where you’re from that can help you?” Scootaloo offered, trying to get her to talk about herself.
“Yeah, what’s it like where you came from?” Sweetie Belle jumped in, much more obvious about what the two of them wanted.
“I mean, it’s just like here, except there’s humans instead of ponies, and it has better technology and stuff.”
“What’s techo-nology?” the white filly squeaked.
“Technology is… it’s anything that’s not… it’s anything that you use to- achoo!- to make your life easier. Like, for example, books are a form of technology. And so are clothes and plates and houses and basically everything that’s made by humans… or ponies in this case. We just have better technology, or, basically, better tools. Better versions of things.”
“Well how do you get the better version of a book?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well, you…” Asher started before looking up to the ceiling, trying to figure out how to communicate what she wanted to clearly. “Hold on, let me think of a way to explain what I want to say…”
She looked around the room for a few seconds, then got an idea and took a book that was already on the table they were at and opened it to the cover.
“Okay, so, you know how this book is filled with pages of words, right? Well, imagine if all of the words in that book plus every book in this library could fit on the cover of this book, and it was still perfectly readable and you only saw one page at a time, and you could get to whatever page or book you wanted just by touching the cover. That’s the kind of thing we have on Earth.”
“That sounds really cool! What kind of spell do you have to do that?”
Asher frowned at that suggestion, explaining, “There’s no- well… for all intents and purposes, there’s no magic on… achoo! I think I actually am getting sick...”
“Well, then how did you get here?” Sweetie Belle asked innocently. “And how did you become a filly like you said?”
“I don’t really…” she started, about to tell them she didn’t want to talk about it before changing her mind. “Okay, so this time, I want you to imagine someone who’s…” She paused for a second, trying to think about how to explain the concept of God to a kid who’d never heard of him, before continuing, “Imagine someone who’s omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.”
“Wait, what do all those words mean?”
“It means someone who knows everything, can do anything, and is everywhere all at once. And also this person is invisible. That’s the person who sent me here.”
“That… that’s freaky,” Scootaloo commented. “And also sounds like Princess Celestia, except she’s not invisible and isn’t everywhere. I mean, I don’t think she’s everywhere, anyway…”
“Wait, how can somepony be everywhere at once?” Sweetie Belle asked thoughtfully.
“God’s not a pony,” Asher started, ignoring the nervousness she felt at the comment about Celestia, “and I don’t really mean physically everywhere at once. It’s more like… how air is everywhere at once, but you don’t really notice it. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t everywhere. That’s kind of like how God is to put it simply.”
“Ohhhhh… so that’s the pony who brought you here? And why you’re trying to find books about the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“Yes. Correct. That is right.”
“Well if he can do anything, why didn’t he just tell you what to do before he teleported you here?”
“That’s… not a question I have the answer to. I’m kind of waiting to be told why.” Asher watched as Sweetie Belle opened her mouth and quickly continued, “Not that he physically tells me why. He doesn’t. It’s more like a feeling you get. Like how you can tell your parents want you to do something just by looking at them. It’s like that.” She had the urge to add that she didn’t want them to think she was crazy, but forced herself not to.
“So is that why you told us you were a colt before?” Scootaloo asked innocently.
Asher blushed at that and held her ears flat against her head, her grey fur almost becoming a shade of red. She had some… ideas as to why she might have been a filly, but her ideas why being true would mean that her having to do something at the Summer Sun Celebration would be completely wrong. She growled to herself slightly, more ashamed of herself than angry.
“Maybe it’s because you need to learn to be nicer to people who are different from you rather than just try to avoid them,” she thought to herself. “Maybe that’s why you’re a girl now, so you can stop being so mean to people like that. Maybe that’s why you were put with those two ladies, Holiday and Lofty, did you consider that? Maybe you’re a girl because… ugh, I really, really hate myself…”
“Let’s just go…” Asher answered back after a while, sighing to herself.
“There you three are!” Lofty said as we came into the house. “Where were you girls all afternoon?”
“We were at the library,” Scootaloo explained as I looked down at myself and remembered what I was wearing. A blue hoodie with yellow flowers on it. I scowled at myself as I quickly started to pull it off, surprising myself at how well my hooves acted now as compared to the previous two days, almost losing my grip thinking about it too much. Once I got it off, I held it out in front of me and examined it closer. It was nice enough I figured, except it was a piece of girls' clothing, and for that reason alone, I knew I wasn’t going to be wearing it that often.
“Would God even want me to wear this? I mean, it’s a… wait, what am I saying? It’s a piece of clothing! I don’t think He’ll care whether or not I wear a hoodie or a dress. Not that I will because it’s girls’ clothes, but…”
I closed my eyes and let the thought hang. I wasn’t a girl. Probably. That probably was what was scaring me. I really didn’t want to be a girl. I really, really didn’t want to be a girl. I didn’t want to be stuck like this forever.
“But if God made me a girl, then I’m a girl now, aren’t I? I can’t just… oh, I hate this so badly…”
“Did you hear me, missy?” Lofty suddenly said, leaning down in front of me, startling me. “It’s time for you three to take a bath before dinner.”
“Oh! Um, yeah, sorry,” I got out, shaking my head and noticing that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had already left. I followed upstairs after them and headed to the bathroom, peering in for a second before turning my head, completely embarrassed.
“What’s wrong? Scootaloo asked innocently as she and Sweetie Belle sat in the tub, the latter turning the water on and adding bubbles as the former spoke.
“Why- why are you and she- she and…” I stuttered, turning my head a little bit to look back in.
“We already told Aunty Lofty she was spending the night, remember? And then she said we three have to take a bath before dinner?”
“Okay, but why- why... why are you taking a bath with her?”
“Um, because we’re friends?” Sweetie Belle told me, sounding confused. “You can get in, too. There’s enough room for all three of us in here.”
I was probably more embarrassed right then at that suggestion than I was at any other time up to that point. Of course, they didn’t care, seeing as they were kids, but I was neither a kid nor a girl, as far as I considered myself at least. I stared at the floor silently as they waited for me to say something.
“Well, are you going to get in?” Scootaloo asked.
“N-no!” I answered quickly, shaking my head and taking a step back. “I’m not- no!”
“Why not?”
“Be-because I’m a grown man! I can’t- I can’t take a bath with you!”
“What’s this about not taking a bath?” Holiday broke in, walking up behind me.
“I’m not- I’m not- I won’t- I’m not taking a bath with little girls,” I told her as I turned around, trying to put conviction into my voice. “That’s where I’m drawing the line at.”
“Hey! We’re not little!”
“Not even for Miss Lofty and I?” she asked. “It’s really better to take one before dinner so you have more time to play with-”
“No,” I responded firmly. “I’m not taking a bath with them. Bathing with someone else is as far as I go.”
“Are you sure? It looks like they’ll be sad, sitting all alone in there without you, Asher…”
I didn’t turn to look at them, instead keeping my gaze firmly fixed on the mare in front of me, trying to wear a forceful expression to show that I wasn’t going to change my mind.
“Well… I won’t make you take a bath right now if you promise to take one right after supper, okay?”
“Okay, I will. I just don’t- I want to be alone. I’m not taking a bath with someone else.”
“Lofty and I really don’t like to waste water, but… I’ll see what I can do about that. But since you’re not bathing right now, I do want to take a moment to talk to you alone.”
“Okay…”
“What’s going on, sweetie?” Holiday asked as the two of them entered her room, taking seats on the bed. “Why don’t you want to take a bath with your friends?”
Her face became red with embarrassment as she told her, “Because people where I’m from don’t take baths with each other. I know you ponies don’t care about certain things, but I do, and I’m not comfortable taking a bath with girls. Not to mention the fact that I’m an adult male and they’re little girls, and I already have to sleep in the same bed as them…”
“Okay, can you tell me where you are from? And what do you mean you’re a male?”
“Are you just gonna brush off everything I’m saying? Cause I don’t want to talk to you if you’re not gonna listen to me. I might as well save my breath.”
“I’ll listen to you,” she assured her, using a hoof to pet Asher’s leg a bit. “I know it seems like a lot of ponies aren’t listening to you, but I’ll listen, I promise.”
She almost didn’t want to believe the mare, but she decided to trust her, seeing the genuine look she was giving her. Besides, she seemed nice enough, like she actually cared about her from what she could tell, and talked to her more than any of the other adults.
“Well, I’m from somewhere- Achoo!- called Earth, a place that doesn’t have any ponies and has better technology than this place,” she said, telling her what she told Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “And I mean I’m not a girl. I’m physically not a girl… well, I mean, I am right now, but I didn’t use to be. I’m a boy, and used to physically look like one, too.”
“Well, you certainly look like a girl to me,” Holiday responded politely, almost as though she were talking to a child. “How are you going to find a boy and get married if you tell ponies you’re a boy, too?”
That was a question she was unprepared to hear, and it caused her cheeks to go almost crimson and her ears to stand up, the tips almost starting to turn red, too. It was along the lines of what she’d been thinking about before, but forced herself to push away before she could think too deeply into it.
“Thoughts are thoughts, and actions are actions,” she told herself silently. “Thoughts don’t become actions until you either act upon them or speak them into existence. Until then, they’re only thoughts, nothing more.”
“I don’t like colts…” Asher said quietly, looking away from Holiday and rubbing her hooves along the bed.
“Oh, well it’s okay to like fillies, too. You don’t have to say you’re a colt to-”
“I don’t like girls, either,” she told her, her ears dropping back down. “I don’t like anyone. I’m like… asexual or something probably.”
“It’s okay to be a girl and like girls, sweetie.”
“No, it’s not, at least, not the way you’re implying that. And I’m not a girl. I’m not a girl, and I don’t like girls, and even if I were and did, it wouldn’t be okay to just... act on that like you're suggesting it is.”
“I promise it’s okay, Asher,” Holiday told her kindly, bringing a hoof up to her side to pet her. “Lofty and I are both girls, and we like each other. You don’t need to say you’re a colt to like fillies, I promise.”
“There you go, not listening to me,” she said angrily, crossing her hooves. “Why do I even say anything? None of you listen to me… I’m not a filly...”
“I’m sorry,” the mare apologized, realizing she was treating her the way Cheerilee and Nurse Redheart did. “I believe you,” she lied. “You’re a colt. Besides, even if you weren’t a filly and didn’t like them, it’d be okay to be a colt and like colts, too.”
“I don’t like colts,” she said to her again, her ears pricking back up a little bit and some of the red returning to her face. She tried to say it with the same tone as she had when saying she didn’t like girls, but couldn’t help but have it come out much more quiet and shy than before.
"I'm not... like that... I don't like boys..." she trailed off, her voice soft as she spoke.
“Okay, I believe you, you don’t like colts,” Holiday answered back softly. “But if you did, that would be perfectly okay, and nopony would get mad at you or not like you.”
“Whatever,” she sighed quietly, turning away from her. “Can you ask about something else? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”