It was yet another day in Ponyville, and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were in the middle of their favorite weekly activity. They were currently near the edge of Ponyville on the edge of a dirt path that was surrounded by trees and wildlife. It was the perfect place for a nature walk for most ponies, but for the two mares sitting in one of the nearby bushes, it was the perfect place to pull a prank.
Tied to trees on either side of the pathway, there was a white string that lay stretched out just above the dirt floor. It was clear that the intention was to trip the first pony that would be unfortunate enough to walk by, something that Pinkie had called “An oldie but a goodie.”
The worst part about this particular prank was the waiting that came right afterward. Both mares were sitting in a bush only a few feet away from the string waiting for their victim to come into view, getting more and more bored as the minutes ticked by.
Eventually, Rainbow Dash groaned and put her hooves on her head. “It’s been half an hour, Pinkie. “Let’s just call it and find another prank to do.”
“Come on, Dashie, just a little longer,” the pink mare beside her pleaded, her twinkling eyes begging her friend to allow more time.
Rainbow Dash simply rolled her eyes and groaned. “Fine, but just for a little longer. I want to make sure we have time to-”
“Wha-? Oof!”
The sudden sound of a pony’s voice and a thud on the ground made both mares peak outside of the bush they were concealed in. Flat on the ground and grimacing as she started to stand up was their friend Twilight Sparkle. The red book that sat right by where she had fallen indicated that she had been reading while walking, making her fall even more inevitable.
Seeing this, both Pinkie and Rainbow fell over on the ground in laughter, which made Twilight turn towards them and scowl.
“It worked!” Rainbow cheered between her laughter, “I can’t believe it worked!” When her laughter died down and she noticed the light from the sun had been blocked out by a shadow. She opened her eyes to see the purple alicorn giving her a disapproving stare.
“Haha,” Twilight deadpanned. “I forgot it was Sunday. I should have known you two would try to prank me today.”
“We weren’t trying to prank you,” Pinkie said defensively. “We were just going to prank the next pony who came down this way, and that was you!”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop a small smile from coming to her face. “Alright, alright. Maybe I got a little upset. But you should probably plan pranks where the pony can’t get hurt so easily.”
Rainbow noticed the book that was still laying in the dirt and trotted over to pick it up, dusting it off with her wing. “Well, maybe you would’ve seen the rope if you weren’t such an egghead.”
Rainbow was surprised when the book was levitated from her grasp over to Twilight, who was blushing fiercely. “I-It’s nothing! Just something I’m sure you would find incredibly boring.” She held the book away from Rainbow’s line of sight but forgot that Pinkie was right behind her.
“From Vanhoover with Love,” she read aloud. Twilight blushed harder and hid the book away from Pinkie, allowing Rainbow to see it this time.
“Geez, you're right Twi’. I wouldn’t want to read that, but tell me,” she leaned in closer to her friend that was now more red than she was her natural purple color, and smirked, “why would you?”
Twilight’s eyes darted around, looking for a way out while trying to stammer out an excuse. When both attempts failed she gave up and looked to the ground in embarrassment. “I was doing research on romance.”
“So?” Rainbow questioned.
“I wanted...I wanted how t-to get a marefriend.”
There was a thick silence between the three ponies that was cuttable with a knife. Twilight was still staring at the dirt path, while both Pinkie and Rainbow were processing this new information.
Pinkie was the first one to break the silence.
“This…
“...is…”
“...AMAZING!!!”
She wrapped her hooves around her friend and pulled her into a tight hug. Twilight looked surprised but gladly accepted it. After a few seconds, Pinkie released her grip and smiled. “I can’t believe it! Can you believe it, Dashie? Our little Twily’s in love.”
Rainbow smiled coyly again, trotting over to Twilight and poking a hoof into her ribs in a joking manner. “So, who’s the lucky pony, Twily?”
Twilight blushed even more now to the point where she appeared to be a pony-shaped tomato. She took a step away from the pegasus and dug her hoof into the ground. “Well, I...it’s Fluttershy.”
Another pause surrounded the three ponies, and Twilight instantly regretted revealing the identity of her crush.
“Well you sure picked the right mare to go after,” Rainbow said. Twilight looked up and saw that she was smiling, not in a cocky sort of way as before, but with genuine care and kindness.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Fluttershy’s into mares.”
Twilight Sparkle could not believe what she was just told Twilight’s mind exploded into a sea of celebration and fireworks. To her, this was a dream coming true. Her mouth turned upwards immediately and she had to take a deep breath to contain how excited she was.
Eventually, she felt she was calm enough again to speak. “Alright, thank you for telling me.” She began to walk away casually when she stopped and turned around to her two friends again. “Oh, one more thing. Can I ask a big favor from you two?”
“Of course, Twilight,” Rainbow said. “We always want to help.”
“Yeah, what do you need?” Pinkie asked, getting excited.
Twilight smiled brightly in gratitude. “Thanks, you guys. Alright, so at first I was just reading this book to try to get some ideas on how to tell her. The main character in the story told her crush that she loved him through a letter that she sent with a rose, so I decided that I’ll try doing that too.”
“Awww, that’s so cute, Twilight,” Pinkie cooed.
“Thanks, but then I got hooked on the story.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Rainbow asked, making all three ponies chuckle.
“Anyways,” Twilight continued, “I kept on reading, but then I started to run across words that I didn’t know the meaning of. Yes, yes, I know. What a shock,” she said, answering the two ponies surprised faces. “The words seemed like they were really romantic, so I thought once I knew the meanings of them I would be able to incorporate them in my letter.”
Pinkie Pie agreed right away, but Rainbow Dash tilted her head. “But why would you ask us? I understand not asking Fluttershy since she’s the pony you’re trying to write the letter to, but why not Rarity or even Applejack?”
“Because you two are right here right now, and I figure that you might know at least some of them.”
Rainbow exchanged a look with Pinkie and shrugged. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Okay, so at first there actually weren’t a lot of words that I didn’t know, but then it got to a point in the story where the two were in bed together and then it started to get a little difficult. The first one was something called foreplay. Is it a game of some sort?”
Rainbow’s eyes became saucers and her chin hit the ground. She felt her face heat up and she became embarrassed what kind of words Twilight would need help identifying.
Pinkie just started laughing. “Isn’t it obvious, silly filly? It’s a game you play when you go on a date with your coltfriend or fillyfriend. It’s super fun.”
“Really? I never knew that. Alright, I’ll tell her in this letter that we can do it. She’ll be so excited!”
Rainbow Dash came to her senses finally and put a hoof around Pinkie. “Hey, Twilight, could you please excuse us for a moment?” Twilight nodded and Rainbow dragged her pink friend to the side.
“What the hay are you doing?”
Pinkie smiled and winked at Rainbow. “I’m pulling off the most super-duper perfect prank ever! Just play along and this will go alright.”
“Pinkie, what do you-” Then the lightbulb went off in the pegasus’ head, and she got a cunning smile. “Alright, I see where you're going with this.”
Pinkie winked one more time before they trotted back to Twilight. “Sorry Twilight. I just wanted to remind Dashie about a dream I had last night.”
“Wasn’t she the one who wanted to talk to you in the first place?” Twilight pointed out.
“Yes,” Pinkie replied.
Twilight looked confused for a second before shaking it off as another one of Pinkie’s many antics. “Alright anyways, my next one is something called a hickey. What is that supposed to mean.”
Rainbow stifles a laugh before responding, “It’s a type of gift you’re supposed to give the pony your dating once you both confess your love for each other.”
“Is that normal for ponies?”
“Oh yeah, lots of relationships are based around them. It’s kind of like a tradition almost.”
Twilight pulled out a sheet of paper and a quill and jotted down something while nodding. “Alright, I should make sure that Fluttershy knows I’ll want to give one to her.”
“Oh absolutely,” Pinkie giggled, “We wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea or anything. Right Dashie?”
“Oh certainly not,” the pegasus replied with a wave of her hoof and a smirk.
“The next word I have is missionary, and even though I know what it means, I think it has a different meaning based on the way it was used in the book.”
“Ooh, ooh, I know, I know,” Pinkie said while raising a hoof. “It’s when a pony goes out to do a special errand for their very special somepony, and when they go out they come back with something super romantic and surprising for them, like a rose, a bracelet, or candy! Lots and lots of candy!”
“That makes sense, given the normal definition,” the purple alicorn said while scribbling some more. “I bet she’ll love the missionary!”
“Yeah,” Rainbow said smugly, “I bet.”
Twilight then continued, “Then there was fingering. I literally have no clue what that means at all.”
“Nopony does, but it's like holding hooves while walking.” Pinkie explained.
“That one just confuses me, but it seemed like something the two ponies in my story were doing when they got close, so I’ll find a place for it.” Twilight wrote a little more before adding with a giggle, “Fluttershy will love it when I finger her, I just know it!”
“Oh my Celestia,” Rainbow Dash whispered to herself, tears from her suppressed laughter starting to stream down her face. Lucky for her, Twilight didn’t seem to notice as she moved on.
“Alright, last one. Cunnilingus, and like fingering, I’m clueless. It almost sounds like a monster if nothing else.”
“It’s actually a type of song,” Rainbow piped up, having wiped the tears from her eyes. “It’s a type of really romantic song you perform for her, but this one isn’t really needed, just if you really want to.”
Twilight scratched her quill across the parchment one last time before looking over it for a few seconds. “I think we got them all! Thank you so much for your help girls, I really appreciate it.
“Of course!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It was our pleasure.” The choice of words once again almost made Rainbow fall over in a pit of laughter.
“Have a good rest of the day girls! Don’t hurt anypony!” She waved one last time before she turned around in the other direction from where she came, humming a happy tune and skipping.
When she was out of sight, both of the remaining mares fell to the ground, rolling around in laughter.
“That was great,” Rainbow chuckled. “She’s how old and the mare doesn’t even know what foreplay is? Did she miss sex-ed at magic school or something?”
“I don’t know,” Pinkie giggled, “but didn’t we just pull the best prank ever?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow sighed, looking down the way in which her friend went. “We sure did.”