//------------------------------// // Lesson 8 - How to Get Married // Story: Discord Teaches Philosophy: On Love // by CrackedInkWell //------------------------------// When Fluttershy opened the classroom door back into reality, she was greeted by her former students. “There you are!” Smolder said, “We were trying to get the door to open this whole time.” She blinked, “I didn’t hear anything.” “The door closed behind you and it was locked,” Gallus explained. “We’ve banged and shouted for you but got no answer. Is everything okay?” She nodded, “Oh yes. Everything is alright now.” “I felt Discord was going into a panic attack,” Ocellus told her, “that has got to be the first time I’ve ever seen Mr. Discord having one of those.” “And I’ve calmed him down. He’s okay now. But how is everyone else?” “Well,” Sandbar looked behind him, “I’m pretty sure the Richs are gonna get that divorce a lot sooner than we thought. The rest of us are wondering what we are supposed to do now. The week-long special class thing is over, so… now what?” “That’s up to Discord, although I’m not sure what he’s gonna do now.” “Is Mr. Discord still feeling down?” Yona inquired. “Well not as he was. After all, he did say yes.” There was confusion from the students. “Saying yes to what?” Asked Silverstream. “That he will marry me.” “What!” They all asked at the same time. “Oh, that reminds me. If any of you would like to come to the wedding, you’re free to do so… that is… if any of you want to that is.” “Huh…” Smolder rubbed the side of her head. “You know, I should have seen this coming…” “Congratulations, Ms. Fluttershy!” Silverstream shook her hoof, “When’s the wedding?” “In the Spring. Which gives us plenty of time to set everything up. I do need to ask my friends some favors. Discord needs to write up the ceremony. And that’s just to name a few microscopic things that we needed to do.” “Wait a sec,” Gallus raised a claw, “what was that about Discord writing the ceremony? You mean like have him write up your vows or something like that?” “No,” Fluttershy shook her head, “he intends to write up the entire wedding in who gets to say what. We’ve talked about this before, and he insists that the traditional way ponies get married often leaves couples unprepared and unaware of what could go wrong. So he wants to lay things out upfront for us and everyone there what to expect and how we could overcome those challenges.” “Huh…” Gallus frowned, “I would say that’s just plain weird – but this is Discord we’re talking about.” “Well considering all the stuff we’ve been taught this past week,” Ocellus said, “I think it’s a lovely idea. And I want to attend it if you let me.” Smolder smirked, “You just want to get in for a free meal, isn’t it?” “So what if it is,” Ocellus joked, getting a laugh from her friends. “Again, you’re all welcomed to come,” Fluttershy said. “Now, I need to go find Twilight. I have a favor to ask of her.” Above the sunny fields and spring forests of Equestria, a large chunk of land was floating side-ways. As if pulled out from the ground, one side had a flat, grassy but flowery field where chairs have been set up, and chocolate snakes form an arch at one end. On the other, there was a small tent where the reception was going to be held. For the guests who chose to arrive at the wedding, just sitting down sideways has proved to be a… strange experience. “I feel like I’m about to fall over any minute,” Sandbar said, looking at the ground they’re gently gliding over. “At least I’m glad this thing isn’t spinning.” Yona, for the hundredth time, picked up a small rock and let it drop. Instead of having it fall towards the ground that they’re hovering over, it instead fell on the grass at her hooves. “Yona thinks Mr. Discord broke gravity.” “I’d say it’s actually kinda cool,” Soarin remarked, who was sitting next to Gallus. “It’s like something you would experience in a funhouse.” “Yeah, if fun houses broke the laws of physics to where Princess Twilight gets a migraine,” Gallus said, looking around at the other seats. “Ya wanna know what I’ve just noticed?” “What’s that?” Silverstream asked. “That with Fluttershy’s guests, it’s just her family and friends. But with Discord, it’s all of us.” This fact was indeed true. Across them holding two empty seats was, what they think might be someone from Fluttershy’s family. Possibly a brother. He had a long mane and tied up in confusing knots, he wore a last-minute-rental suit with a dress shirt, black-tie, and overcoat with a miserable expression on his face. Behind them were their professors, except for Twilight and Fluttershy, they were in their finest and looking forward to the ceremony. As to the rest, however, almost everyone from the love class was here. There were a few exceptions, of course. Filthy Rich’s ex-wife was nowhere to be seen. The Cakes, along with Sweetie Drops and Lyra couldn’t come due to scheduling conflicts. But everyone else was here. Including Miss Cheerliee. Trixie and Starlight. Fancy Pants with his wife Fleur. Filthy Rich. Sugar Belle with Big Mac. Shining and Cadence. Troubleshoes with his husband Braeburn. Even Miss. Harshwhinny had come. “I think I see what you mean,” Ocellus remarked. “I guess it might be viewed as sad that no one from Discord’s end is here. But to have everyone else here I think is really sweet.” “In what way?” Smolder asked. “I can sense there’s a huge level of gratitude.” Soarin confirmed this, “Well yeah. It’s because of him that I finally found a stable relationship,” he nuzzled his coltfriend. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m here part to support Discord, and as a way of saying thank you.” “Tell me about it,” Gallus agreed, “knowing that love isn’t a gut feeling, but a skill, it at least helped me out with what I want out of a relationship.” He looked over his shoulder and spotted Princess Twilight walking out. “Would you excuse me, guys? I’ll be right back.” Gallus walked up to the princess who was in her full regalia and saluted. “How close are we for the big moment, Princess?” “Very soon,” Twilight began walking up towards the arch with her guard with her. In her aura was a small notebook that was open. Her eyes scanning the words to memorize. “To tell you the truth, Gallus, this wedding is going to be… unique.” “Unique as in interesting, or unique as in we should be deeply concerned?” “The former.” She answered, flipping the book back to the front page to re-read. “I have read about how marriages were conducted throughout the world. But what unites all of them is that the couple who are about to marry, would essentially be doing the right thing, and would promise that all will go well from then on. This has some of the same elements but…” “What did Discord do to it?” “I’ve never come across a marriage that was this… blunt. There are a few rituals to conduct everyone through that I’ve never seen in a wedding before. And the vows they’re about to give aren’t the typical kind anyone will expect.” “Well, this is Discord we’re talking about, Your Highness, I would be shocked if it was typical.” Twilight agreed. Gallus returned to his seat, and the Princess took her place at the arch. She cleared her throat. “Will everyone please rise for the march of the groom and bride?” They stood up; heads turned over towards the small tent that rolled out a red carpet from it. At that same moment, vaulters overhead blew a fanfare with their kazoos that introduce the Ex-Lord of Chaos. Discord skated out in a suit that was completely head to toe in white, above his head there was a broken halo. In his arms was an oversized iron ball with the words: “Volunteer Only,” etched on it and connected to a chain. He carried this over to where Twilight was, and let it drop with a noticeable thud. Next, the vaulters few away, and a rainbow of birds took their place. With their chirps, they sang the march of the bride. Fluttershy walked out of the tent with her mother and father. Two of them were elderly pegasi, both with curly manes like clouds. The stallion, a lime green sort with a white mane and mustache had on a blue tuxedo from long ago. The mare, a yellow coated, turquoise glasses-wearing, white turtle-necked, and a reddish mane that has shown lines of gray. For Fluttershy, she walked across the carpet in white with leafy-green accents on the hem of her gown. She marched on the carpet with her focus on Discord who showed signs of nervousness as he twiddled his talons. Despite having to face so many, she kept her attention on him that, as soon as they were close enough, she nuzzled under his chin as if to comfort him. Her parents took turns hugging their daughter before taking their places in the remaining seats. Twilight flipped open the notebook and cleared her throat, she began to read aloud: “Dearly beloved. We are gathered today for a solemn event. Profoundly hopeful, but infinitely difficult. We’re here to celebrate the wedding of Discord and Fluttershy. A good marriage is not one where troubles have magically disappeared. But one where troubles are faced with insight and generosity. To do so, the couple has agreed to undergo three rituals to confirm before us and each other that they are ready for the joys and challenges of marriage. “Beginning with the Ritual of Humility.” She turned to the next page. “Self-righteousness is the poison of love. Therefore, humility is an important key to the great accomplishment of a marriage. For the success of a relationship, humility starts with an abundant, accurate, and sorrowful acknowledgment of all of one’s failings. It is filled with apology and modesty. It doesn’t pretend that flaws are charming quirks or excusable oddities. It contains an open declaration that we wish we were different and better. Discord, do you admit that you’re a failed, broken Draconequus? Not in every way – but in some ways so serious that you will, at points, be a grave burden to Fluttershy.” Discord nodded. “Yes… After looking at my life carefully, and as hard as this is for me to say…” He gulped, “I…I admit I am failed and… broken.” “Fluttershy, do you admit that you’re a failed, broken pony? Not in every way – but in some ways so serious that you will, at points, be a grave burden to Discord.” “Yes,” Fluttershy confessed, “I admit I am failed and broken.” Twilight lit up her horn in which two books appeared. Although each of them was hoof-made and bound, they noticed the one near Discord was much thicker. “Now before coming here,” Twilight continued, “you have listed as much of your failings as you could in these, your books of imperfections.” She handed the books over to the couple, “Would you now before me, your partner, and your guests read aloud a few samples of what you have stated in your own words.” The couple opened their books. “Do you want me to go first?” Fluttershy asked. “No, I’ll start,” Discord flipped over to a random page and read aloud, “I tend to get jealous easily to the point that I would become petty and hateful. And I wouldn’t be strong enough to admit that I’m really afraid of losing you.” Fluttershy did the same and opened to a random spot in her book. “I acknowledge that I tend to assume when you’re upset, it has something to do with me – even when it’s not.” “Be aware that I’m not that good at communicating my feelings maturely, so at times I won’t say what’s bothering me but instead sulk while expecting you to read my mind, and get furious when you can’t.” “I would often try to avoid confrontation, suppressing my opinion in fear that doing so would just make things worse.” “I’m often self-involved, even down-right selfish.” “And I tend to place everyone else’s happiness over the wants and needs of my own.” Fluttershy closed her book, and quietly added, “Just to warn you…” Discord also closed his book and took hold of Fluttershy’s front-hooves. Together, they recited: “Neither of us is fully sane or healthy. We are committed to treating each other as broken creatures with enormous kindness and imagination – when we can manage it.” Twilight coughed into her hoof and continue to read: “There is nothing odd about this couple, beyond the ordinary oddness that is everyone’s lot. They’ve managed to put into words the errors and failings of which we are all continuously guilty. Now, if everyone would please look under your seats, you will find a card there. So, with me, would you read side A of that card?” Looking underneath their seats, they pulled out a white card that had words on it. Twilight waited for a moment for them to flip over to the right side. At first, there was a confused mummer from them, uncertain what the purpose of this played in the wedding overall. However, Twilight conducted the attendees in saying as one: “We are all broken. We have all been idiots before, and we will be idiots again. We are all difficult to live with. We sulk and get angry. We blame others for our own mistakes, have strange obsessions, and fail to compromise. We are here to make you less lonely with your failings. We’ll never know all the details – but we understand.” Flipping over to the next page, Twilight conducted the second ritual. “Charity is at the heart of love. Charity means finding the least alarming, least panicked view of why the other is acting as they are. It sees the fear behind the aggression. It sees the loneliness at the root of a sulk. It recognizes how shame can make anyone defiant and how a hidden worry can unleash an abundance of harshness. Fluttershy and Discord, will you now exchange the ritual gifts of charity.” Fluttershy took out from underneath her wing a small photograph in a picture frame and hand it to Discord. Discord snapped his tale in which he made appear a piece of parchment that had a drawing on it before giving it to Fluttershy. The couple took a moment to look at their images. Discord in his paw saw the photograph of his beloved as she was when she was around three years old, a scrawny, timid looking creature who probably got frightened after the photo was taken. For Fluttershy, she looked at a scientific drawing of a very small Discord who was pudgy, had eyes that were frightened and pitiful. Twilight explained, “The couple has exchange pictures of one another from foalhood. We naturally act towards a child with a spirit of love. We often find it hard to do the same towards adults. This exchange of foalhood images symbolizes a commitment to treat one another with the kindness one wouldn’t hesitate to show a child – but so often refuse grown-ups. Now that they see what the other was like, would the couple, in front of me and everyone give the vow of charity?” Holding up the pictures to the other, Discord and Fluttershy said to one another: “I hereby promise I will place this foal version of you at the center of my love. I will try to see your faults as a result of troubles in your past. I promise that I will look after the broken child within you. You were a foal once, and you are still somewhere, the same foal you once were. If I shout, I will be shouting at this child. If I betray, I will be betraying this child. If I blame, I will be blaming this child. The picture of you is a plea for patience, tolerance, and warmth that I will try to provide.” Another mummer from the attendees, but Twilight turned the page for the last part of the wedding. “Now we come to the spousal vow and the exchange of rings. Discord, you asked beforehoof that you wish to give your vows first.” “That’s right,” Discord nodded, taking hold of Fluttershy’s hooves and looking her in the eye. “You might guess my final vow to you is not going to be a traditional one. But what I have to tell you, is something that I have learned and taught about love. So, with that in mind, I Discord, hereby agree to marry someone I know is deeply flawed – as I am. As much as my Fluttershy understands and empathizes with me, there will always be a good chunk of my mind that will remain confusing to her and anyone else – including me. I’m agreeing to marry someone who is on some level, deeply crazy, as I am. But I am ready to love like an adult, rather than be loved like a child. With that said, I am ready for domestic management – and accepting the dignity of the ironing board. I agree to marry you, knowing full well that love and sex often don’t stay together for long. And while I acknowledge that we are not compatible now, I will enter into this knowing that being such is the end goal, not the start of a marriage.” “Nicely put,” Twilight nodded before turning to Fluttershy, “now for your final vow.” Blushing, she told Discord, “You know, Discord, I’m not marrying you because you’re perfect – I knew that since the day I met you. I have given you the benefit of the doubt when nopony else would because I saw that even you had room for learning and growth. I’m entering into this marriage knowing not to expect a great deal out of you. That I must learn how to adapt to your evolving, and instead of stopping you, I should encourage it when it uplifts you. I’m aware that I’m deeply flawed too, and I should give you some slack if you do something wrong. From you, I don’t expect to be indulged and tended to like I was as a foal, but to become the parental role to take care of you, as you would for me. While on some days, I may not fully understand you, but that doesn’t mean that it puts you outside of my love. I’m going into this marriage knowing that I would need to teach you plenty of things, as I will have to learn from you.” Brimming with joy, Discord took out from his pocket a golden bracelet, “Shall we make this official?” Fluttershy nodded and took out from her other wing, a plastic ring. Discord’s smile widened, “Oh my dear, it’s magnificent!” Fluttershy put the ring on Discord’s talon. At the same moment, the chain that was hooked to the large iron ball latched onto the Draconquus's goat leg before vanishing. Discord then latched the bracelet onto Fluttershy’s hoof. Twilight turned to the last page. “Knowing all this, fearing all this, hoping all this, will you, in front of us all, vow to wed each other? Will you agree to share your lives with all the restraint and sorrow that will be involved as well as the joy, kindness, and friendship? Be it in wealth or in poverty, sanity or insanity, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do you part?” Holding hoof and paw, the couple smiled. “We do.” The said. Closing the notebook, Twilight announced “By the power and authority invested in me, Twilight Sparkle in the Great Kingdom of Equestria, I now declare you married. You may kiss the bride.” “You don’t have to tell me twice!” Discord picked up his bride and planted a kiss on her, in the cheer of the attendees, she kissed back. When the couple broke the kiss, and the cheering died down, Twilight added, “And now, I ask you to please read the other side of that card to finish off this wedding.” Flipping them over, the attendees read aloud: “Our marriages were, or are, or will be very far from perfect. But we can learn, recover, and improve. May your wisdom increase. May this marriage be enough, and with all our hearts, we wish you the best. Good luck!” There was an applause from them. Fluttershy looked over to her family to see they were tearing up with tears of joy. Discord looked out to his past students that supported him, he can tell from their faces that while they’re happy to have witnessed the wedding, there were some confused looks; possibly from the ceremony itself, he reasoned. Turning back to one another, they knew that their marriage wasn’t going to be the fairy-tale, “and they lived happily ever after,” because they know that this was far from the end. Getting married wasn’t the end goal, but the start of something new. Walking down the aisle, they knew perfectly well that they have entered into something that one day will prove difficult. But at the same time, the ceremony, as strange as it was, gave the other hope that perhaps, through work and communication, they may get all the time they need to perfect the skill of love.