//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: Reflection // Story: One Thousand Years Ago // by Scroll //------------------------------// Rising from the visions she had just seen, Cozy Glow leans back in her seat with wide, stunned eyes.     “Uh . . . Cozy? Are you alright?” Twilight asks in concern. “Or you, Sunset, for that matter.”     Since she had more experience with this kind of phenomenon, Sunset recovers faster. She shook her head and struggles to focus, but this time it is harder than she is used to.     “Yeah, Twilight. We’ll be fine soon . . . I think,” Sunset assures with shaky confidence.     “Alright, well that was fascinating… And what did you find, or is it too soon to ask? Do you need rest first?” Stygian asks.     “Oh, we got results, alright,” Sunset answers as she looks at Cozy. Doing so causes Sunset to notice that Cozy is still staring forward with wide, blank eyes. Sunset frowns at this, but it does not surprise her because she is perfectly aware of what Cozy saw and felt.     “Ah, Twilight,” Sunset looks over to her friend, “I do recommend giving your daughter some time to recover after this vision.” She sighs. “Truth be told, I think I could use a little break myself.” She focuses on Stygian next. “But we did get results. I do not yet know if this vision was anything Sombra couldn’t recall before, but it is worth noting that this strategy actually worked.”     “Yes, of course. How can we be sure this is something Sombra didn’t know? And, are there specific conditions needed for this to work?” Stygian wonders aloud.     “I’ll interview Sombra later and get a debriefing. At that time, we’ll establish if any of the things we learned is . . .” Sunset trails off for a moment as she realizes something startling, then sinks back into her own seat. “Actually, I just realized something. There is one bit of news we learned that is inconsistent with the rest of his memories, and that has to do with the first time he accessed dark magic.” Sunset shakes her head with a bewildered expression. “I don’t even have to ask him that question. The previous version of this story I got from him was that he hadn’t accessed dark magic until way later, and that was only when the Dark King split apart from his normal pony self. According to that story, that was when dark magic was accessed first. But, according to this new vision, he used it way earlier.” Sunset gives Twilight a spooked look. “He used it on the day his father died.”     “Hmmm… Necromantic practice then?” Stygian posits.     Sunset shakes her head as she replied, “No, it wasn’t that. It was more like a magical temper tantrum.” She looks at Stygian. “At that point, he just lost his father. Any pony would be upset, but I get the feeling that this outburst came as a result of other reasons as well.” She shifts her look to Twilight. “It’s not just about his father, but many other forms of pressure on him as well.” Sunset looks down in depression. “The world back then . . . it was bad, Twilight. None of us can imagine how grim and dark it was.”     “I have some idea,” Twilight says a little sadly. “The anger and hatred ponies had for each other invited the windigos, but none of the ponies of that era knew that yet. They just saw the winter itself and blamed each other.”     “There are other layers to this conflict, but you are essentially correct.” Sunset looks back at Stygian. “You know. You lived through those awful times as well.”     “Yes. Our history does remind us how conflict can cause maladies in our magic and environment. And, yes, I saw some disturbing things. I united the Pillars to face The Sirens in Galloping Shores, a small town besieged by their particular magic… They thrived on hostility and conflict. They caused it and stirred up heated emotions. “Yes, Ms. Shimmer, I do recall the darkness of those times… Including my own,” Stygian said softly.     “We should probably compare notes with you too, Stygian, at some time. Those who have actually lived in the world over a thousand years ago are quite rare in this time period,” says Sunset.     “We can do all of that later,” Twilight decides. “Sunset, can you escort my daughter to her room? Unless you think you’re not up to it considering you shared the same experience.”     “Nah. I can handle it, but I do want to take a break after that,” Sunset says as she gets up. “Here, Cozy. Take my hoof.”     Cozy Glow barely looks coherent, but she does cooperate. Taking a hoof, Sunset leads the younger girl out of the room.     “As for you, Stygian, I need a little time to consider your offer,” Twilight tells Stygian, which Sunset overhears since she did not leave the room yet with Cozy Glow. “Rest assured I am well motivated to acquiesce to your request, but the issue is figuring out exactly how and where that funding will be drawn from. There are also logistical issues to discuss like exactly which ship to send and what crew will be sent with it. That, in turn, affects the price.     “Speaking of which, I assume you’ll be going too?”     Stygian nods, “Of course, I would not miss an archeological expedition of this scope for anything. Plus, I am a rather vital reference to the day and age in question.”     “In fact, since you have personal experience in this affair, you’d be going back to your own hometown, or at least in the rough area,” Twilight notes. “I imagine this could be quite a personal experience for you. Plus, you’ll get to find out what happened to it since then.”     “Yes… I wonder what feelings this will stir? I will not return to the Shadows, I assure you.” Stygian replies, then a moment of hesitation. “And… who knows? I might just have enough material for my new book!”     Twilight smiles at Stygian brightly as she says, “I’ll look forward to reading it.”     By that point, Sunset leaves the room with Cozy Glow.         Cozy Glow shut the door to the sliding glass window on the balcony. She was about to turn around, but her eye catches sight of her own reflection on the window. The moment it does, her mind flashes back to the image of her reflection in Sombra's carriage which happened over a thousand years ago, but for her . . . it feels as recent as a few minutes ago. More than that, she was utterly convinced, during the flashback, that his reflection was hers. Cozy Glow completely saw herself as Sombra during that moment. She forgot that she was anything else.     This isn't the first time something like this happened to her. The other time was when her counterpart gave her a large share of human Cozy's memories. Ever since, pony Cozy has lived in an existential crisis, and now it's happening again . . . only, this time, with Sombra's memories.     This is just a glimpse into his past, but it already has an intense emotional impact for her.     For a moment, Cozy tries harder to focus on her reflection. She notices that the face of a mare stares back at her. Her face moves as she wills it to, and she sees such a haunted look in those rust-red eyes. In this life she is a girl, but in the other . . . Pony Feathers! I hardly know who I am anymore.     Is that all I am? Is that all I ever will be? Just a pony who is constantly questioning her own identity?     Mother might tell me that asking questions is a sign of progress, for the pursuit of answers always leads to growth, regardless if those answers are found or not. I hope she's right . . . because I'm tired of feeling lost.     I'm tired of feeling weak.     She turns her head to look over her shoulder. In doing so, she notices the white rail surrounding this balcony and the view of the wide valley beyond.     Cozy does not know why she came out here, but somehow being out in the open air usually helps to clear her mind. Hopefully, this time will be no exception.     Turning about, Cozy trots over to the rails. Along the way, she absently hears her hooves clomp on the smooth stone balcony until she reaches the rail. Once there, she folds and drapes her forelegs over the edge of the rail. Beyond the rail, her eyes slowly scan the colorful valley all the way up to the horizon.     Colorful . . . except for one spot in the distance. One area blotted in shadow due to a storm cloud above it. Judging from the surroundings of that area, Cozy deduces that it must be the farmlands of Ponyville. Obviously this is a scheduled storm to help water the plants.     But as Cozy looks upon it, she can't help but consider it symbolic to the experience she just recently suffered. Here, the whole landscape is filled with vibrant and bright colors, except for one spot. Sombra's flashback memory, on the other hoof, might have been the other way around.     Cozy's pointy little ears flicker when she hears the sound of thunder rolling across the sky which obviously originated from that one area of storm clouds over the farms of Ponyville. That thunder seems to be the exception rather than the rule in this era.     Cozy frowns as she looks at that one dark spot in the sky while thinking back to Sombra's time when something like that covered all of the sky. Indeed, covered it for so long that he never knew, back then, what the sun looked like.     Hardly anypony in the modern era looks directly at the sun, but she still has a pretty good idea what it looks like.     That flashback in Sombra's memories was too vivid to be just a memory. It was more like an experience. It feels like something she just went through.     The thunder continues to roll inside her mind. It reminded her of the endless night storms in ancient times.     Looking out the window in that flashback, there was nothing at all. Just pitch black. Just an endless, empty void. It made her feel like the carriage itself was the whole universe. One tiny, compact, claustrophobic universe. The crystal light within the carriage felt like it might be the only light in all of existence.     Cozy closes her eyes as she starts to cry. While that continues, she nestles her head onto her forelegs, turning her head a bit to her left to do so. In doing so, she smells the fur on her forelegs, but it feels meaningless to her for some reason. It feels as if this reality is the illusion when she compares it to the sheer intensity of the other.     “It's a lot to take in. I know,” Sombra agrees. His voice and proximity are somewhere close by. “Maybe now you don't have to imagine what it was like for me. Just the sheer idea and almost utter certainty that this world had no future.”     “I couldn't have imagined it,” Cozy replies somberly. “In a way . . . I'm still having trouble accepting it.”     “I grew up in that reality. I'm not sure if I can tell you if that made it easier for me.”     “Why didn't you . . . just kill yourself? If you thought the future was that bleak, then what's the point of going on living?”     Sombra is silent for a moment before eventually replying, “For my people.”     “Huh?” Cozy lifts her head and looks back at the apparent image of Sombra. He looks slightly translucent, yet his black mane waves slightly in the light breeze around them.     “I was the heir to a Duke, Cozy,” Sombra explains as he stares blankly out into space, quite likely thinking back. “An intensive sense of duty was drilled into me for as long as I could remember.” He looks to the distant mountains on the horizon. “I looked upon that lesson not with a sense of thrill or ambition, but with fear . . . because those pony lives were important. I knew we could only thrive together . . . or die together. By knowing my strength and influence depended on the strength and well-being of others, I had no choice but to take that duty utterly seriously.”     He looks to the lower valley.     “But before I ever got that official duty . . . the blizzard storms rolled in and they never stopped.     “Endless winter.     “Endless darkness.     “Endless loss.     “All of that . . . was my inheritance. I felt like I failed them before I had a chance to lead them.”     He looks up.     “As you are well aware, my father said, just before he died, 'Heavy is the brow that wears the crown.'”     He looks at Cozy seriously.     “Your mother knows the meaning of those words very well,” Sombra assures. “And someday . . . you may come to know it too, just like I once did.” He cuts a hoof across the air. “A good leader will never feel prepared for that, for the weight of all of those lives crush our shoulders.     “One day, Cozy, the burden of that responsibility may lie on your shoulders. Your mother is an alicorn. She may never know the ravages of old age, or the blessings of resting in peace, but that doesn't mean she is invincible. As the adopted daughter of the most powerful and influential mare in all of Equestria, it is possible you may one day know her burdens.”     Cozy swallows hard, for she had not thought of that in a very long time. It used to be something she once looked forward to, but now she looked upon her mother as if she was a dam protecting her from being crushed by an overwhelming amount of water. If that dam breaks . . . it would be Cozy's turn to hold that water back from washing away all of Equestria.     “Look upon this valley,” Sombra bids as he sweeps a gaze across it. “All that you see . . . all that the light touches and far beyond . . . may one day be your responsibility. The success or failure of this entire country could be yours someday.” He flashes her a sharp look. During that moment, his red eyes flash for a brief second. “So be prepared!”     “How am I supposed to do that?” Cozy whines. “I thought I was ready . . . once. I wanted to be the Empress of all these lands, but now . . .” She trails off.     “Now you are afraid,” Sombra figures. He nods at her in satisfaction before looking across the valley again. “Good. The core virtues of a good leader are now instilled within you.”     “Why would my fear make me a good leader?” Cozy questions.     “Because it means you care about your people enough to feel the pressure of your responsibility,” Sombra answers immediately. “It means you would take the duty seriously. This bodes well for your people. Only a fool would believe they are completely detached from the source of a leader's strength. A selfish leader is a fool. A cruel leader is a fool, for the only way a leader can be strong is if his or her followers are strong. When you are a leader, you can't afford to consider yourself solitary anymore. You don't have the luxury of only focusing on your own life. A leader can and must look at the big picture, for such a pony does not only absorb the strengths of those he leads, but their burdens and weaknesses as well. There is much to juggle. Much that must come to pass.”     “But, back then, you didn't think the world itself had any future, so what's the point of caring?”     Sombra is silent for a little while, then shrugs as he says, “I don't know, but I couldn't force myself not to care. The idea of that responsibility had been drilled into me for too long.”     Cozy frowns as her ears fall flat, then says, “Funny . . . I thought you were going to tell me it was because of Princess Trinity.”     Sombra passes Cozy a look with such emotional depth in his eyes that it almost makes Cozy swoon.     “There are times I hated Princess Trinity,” he informs her. “Mainly because of what she represented. Trinity represented hope . . . and I hated hope back then because it meant gaining something important and, in my mind, gaining something important was only a recipe for greater loss down the line. Tragedy and loss felt inevitable to me back then, and for very good reason, I might add. To gain something was to gain an attachment to a thing that I was very likely to lose one day, so the attachment itself was something I feared. Something I resented. I thought that remaining empty was the only way to prevent further loss, but she kept pushing.” His eyes shift to his right at the valley beyond. “She never quit.     “This,” he waves a hoof across the whole valley, “was the vision of the future she had in her heart. It's not perfect by any means, but infinitely better than what we had.”     He faces the outward environment fully.     “This was the vision many in my time once regarded as a pipe dream, but I personally witnessed how one pony's hopes and dreams can become a miracle. She didn't just wish for a better future, she actively fought for it. She became the miracle.     “Trinity.” He looks up. “The brilliantly guiding star in the darkness.” He shakes his head. “You cannot imagine how far such light could carry when contrasted by such darkness.”     For a moment, Cozy reaches to try to touch one of his hooves to comfort him and gather his attention, but her hoof ends up passing right through him, which reminds her that he is just a ghost. Nevertheless, she successfully gathers his attention.     “You claim you tried to hate her . . . but you loved her too, didn't you?” Cozy figures. “I saw through your eyes. I felt through your heart. You cannot lie to me about this.”     “I won't deny it,” Sombra acknowledges. “Trinity was an amazing pony. More so than most I had ever met, and considering my long span of existence in this world . . . that's a bold claim.”     A wise look sinks deep in his eyes as he regards Cozy, then says, “Maybe someday you'll learn how close the borders of hatred and love really are, for they are each two sides of the same coin. Sometimes the edge of that coin is especially thin.”     Cozy frowns as she looks off the balcony.     “I suffered loss before,” Cozy informs with a voice of emptiness. “For most of my life, all I had ever known was suffering. Suffering through enslavement, betrayal, and imprisonment. My life was also additionally complicated by accumulating the memories of another. For most of these years I have spent with my mother, I have been depressed.” She looks at him. “But when I compare the reasons for all of my pain, I feel like an immature child next to you. I'm crying over spilt milk, and you are crying over the permanent loss of all milk. I cried over my years of being in a stone prison and fearing I'd never be free, and you cried over the feeling of utter certainty that the entire world would be doomed.     “I'm with you. I don't see the value of hope in a situation that is hopeless. It's a testament to your courage and strength that you didn't just immediately off yourself back then. You may have felt weak back then, but you are the strongest pony I have ever met.”     Sombra smiles faintly at her, then tells her, “Some can and will say that about you, for you are positioned in the same nexus of destiny like I was. It's easy to feel weak while under so much pressure, but therein lies the catalyst for future strength. I didn't see that back then. I didn't see that for a long time. I imagine your life will follow a very similar trail.     “You know, I'll admit that it is eerie how closely our lives follow in some aspects. In that case, I don't envy the challenges you are sure to face, but there is a silver lining to it. Challenges facilitate growth, and that growth will come in hoofy many times to come. When you face a great challenge that you are prepared for but most other ponies are not, you will finally recognize the value of your journey. When you save the lives of others who would have perished if it were not for your strength that you gained across the journey, then you will know your worth.” He pointed at Cozy. “It is the burden of the strong to defend the weak, but count your blessings on the fact that at least somepony was prepared to face that which is to come. Also remember . . . the strength of a leader does not lie from within alone. You could be the fastest, strongest, most maneuverable flier and most powerful caster. Eventually all the greatest strengths of one pony, regardless of what kind of strength it is, will fail. No pony can hold up a rock forever. That is an inescapable fact about mortality.     “But where one fails, many can triumph. A leader's job is to inspire others to find strength within themselves, and only together can you remain prepared to face any burden or challenge in life. Life is not a challenge meant to be faced and conquered by one pony alone. It requires us all to endure, rise, and thrive on this journey we share.”     “Cozy,” her mother's voice picks up in the air. Sombra and Cozy look to the sliding glass door of the balcony and witness Twilight Sparkle moving to join them, though she can't see the ghost. “Mind if I join you?” Twilight requests kindly.     “I'll leave you two alone to share your thoughts together,” Sombra decides then takes a few steps away. As he does so, he fades away even to Cozy's eyes.     “Uh . . . sure, Mother,” Cozy accepts as she shifts her eyes from where Sombra was to where her mother is. “What can I do for you?”     “Actually, I've come to ask you that same question,” Twilight answers as she moves next to Cozy. “It is my understanding that you've had one doozy of an experience. One of many if you continue to remain on this course.”     “Yeah,” Cozy expresses in a “What's your point?” kind of vocal inflection.     Twilight sighs as she looks off the balcony. Cozy can see her mother seem to take a moment to process what she is about to say, then looks at Cozy as she says, “I know this journey could be a very good thing for you. I certainly see a lot of potential within it, and I'm not just talking about the obvious. Freeing your counterpart's mind and setting Sombra to rest are very noble goals, but there is a lot that lies between the journey and the destination. I just want to make sure you are prepared to face that.”     “What do you mean?” Cozy asks with a slightly raised eyebrow.     Twilight places one of her wings on her chest as she says, “When Princess Celestia sent me to Ponyville, I could not imagine the kind of journey I would undergo with that course, but it has been worth it. The things I've done there and the bonds I've formed made me the pony I am today.”     “Your point?” Cozy asks sharply.     “My point is the same thing could happen to you,” Twilight points out.     “Oh.” Cozy looks down off the balcony.     “This could be a very positive experience for you if you let it,” Twilight goes on. “All I'm saying is I encourage you to be open to the full experience.”     Silence hangs between them for a moment, broken again by Twilight.     “For years I have tried to encourage you and raise you as my own daughter,” Twilight says as she lifts Cozy's gaze back up to Twilight with the tip of a wing. “In most of that time, you've resisted me as if I were your prison warden. A warden that you fear. Both me and my friends have tried many times to assure you that we'd never lock you in stone again. No more than we would do to Starlight who had once done similar things as you. You are our friend and you are my daughter, Cozy. I wish you could accept that.”     Cozy frowns up at her mother in pain, but otherwise stares at her in silence.     Twilight folds her wing back on her back as she goes on to say, “But it seems like that's asking too much of you. Too much bad blood and emotional trauma exists between us. You don't know how much that pains me to know. I am your mother now, but I wanted to be accepted as one in your heart as well. Maybe that will never be, but I won't stop fighting to make your future better than your past ever was. No pony deserves the burdens that you have suffered, Cozy.”     Cozy looks off the edge of the balcony again in silence.     “I will never give up that we can achieve some level of happiness between us,” Twilight assures, “but until then . . . I'll settle for you forming friendships with others. Any creature will do. Just someone, Cozy. You need to open your heart to someone.”     “Yes, Mother,” Cozy sneers under her breath bitterly.     “Cozy, look at me,” Twilight orders.     Cozy shifts her slightly narrow stare up at Twilight.     “I think we both know what's at stake with this mission,” Twilight says. “Chances are strong that it's a good deal more than either of us realize, but in all this time . . . I have never once heard anypony give you the choice. I don't want this to feel like a burden or obligation to you, so despite us knowing everything that is at stake, I want to ask you . . . do you want to go on this mission?”     Cozy narrows her right eye at Twilight with a skeptical expression as she asks, “What happens if I say no?”     “Then you don't have to go,” Twilight answers. “We'll find another way.”     Cozy widens her eyes in surprise at Twilight as she asks, “Are you serious?!”     “Absolutely,” Twilight assures. “It's your life, Cozy. I want to make sure that you have a chance to feel empowered. Contrary to what you might think, I have never intended this life to be a prison sentence for you. Rather than that, it has merely been an offered path. I'm trying to show you a better way to live. To show you that being a better pony leads to a better life.”     Cozy looks down in shock.     “You really didn't know that?” Twilight asks in surprise, then looks hurt. “Cozy . . . I really don't want you to be unhappy.”     Cozy sighs, then looks back up at her mother with a calmer expression and tone to her voice as she says, “Be that as it may, I do choose to go on this journey. I will admit that I am very afraid of it, but it also feels important. I have a debt to repay.”     Twilight smiles at Cozy, but also tilts her head as she regards her daughter with a little bit of confusion before asking, “Why is that debt so important to you?”     “Because the fate I suffered before was really bad,” Cozy answers as she narrows her eyes accusingly at Twilight, deliberately driving a verbal dagger into her mother's heart. Since her mother is such a bleeding heart, Cozy finds her mark perfectly. “The excruciating mental pain I suffered was more than I could endure, but I was forced to face the prospect that I would have to endure that endlessly, and I really thought I would.” Cozy tilts her head slightly. “That's why my mood has been out of sorts since then, and no matter how many times you try to reassure me, that experience was so bad that I can't help but eternally fear that fate again. I'll do anything it takes to avoid it!” Cozy swears as she pounds the rail beside her with her left forehoof. “Anything,” she assures again which drifts into a sad and empty tone.     Twilight shifts a miserable expression outwardly off the balcony. “I don't know if it would be any consolation, but I am-”     “SAVE YOUR PATHETIC APOLOGIES!” Cozy screeches so loudly that she closes her eyes for a second. “I don't want to hear it. I don't forgive you, Mother.” She says her final word like a mocking sneer. “You can never make that up to me! It was too horrible!     “Now I will obey you, of course. I'll do anything you say like a good little slave, but in my heart . . . I will always see you as the one who deeply hurt me. To me, you will always be my enemy!”     Twilight closes her eyes and winces tightly in pain.     YES! Cozy thinks viciously. Twist in agony, Mother! Writhe in pain!     “Not that I don't appreciate all that you've given me since,” Cozy goes on to say in a lighter tone. “Just because I hate you, doesn't mean I'm not willing to exploit you. Giving me a whole bunch of books? Sure! I'll take it. Giving me my own bed and room? Sure! Why not? I'll need every advantage I can get to overthrow you someday, and it takes time to accumulate enough resources for that. Until then, you'll have my cooperation, but nothing else. Not my loyalty, and certainly not my love.     “Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you. I have only one true mother, and she died a long time ago. You're just the impostor that took her place, and gave me no choice about that. The reason I'm surprised that you're allowing me the chance to back off from this mission is because this is the first time you've ever given me such a choice.”     “I never claimed to be perfect,” Twilight says as she looks back at her daughter with tears in her eyes. “But I always strive to improve myself. When I notice the fact that I made a mistake, I work my tail off to try to make up for it.     “You may hate me, Cozy, and for good reason . . . but I love you, and that means I will never stop working to improve your life. I will never stop working to try to make you happier and stronger. I would even give you my throne if that is what it takes. In fact, you'd be doing me a favor by doing so, but I care for my citizens too, and I will not surrender my throne until I know you're ready to receive it.”     “You're bluffing,” Cozy suspects suspiciously.     “You think this job is fun?” Twilight reflects. “Honestly, sometimes it is, but I'd far rather hang out with my friends. I miss them. That's why I mandated our meetings once a moon.”     “You're serious?!” Cozy asks in amazement.     “As your mother, it's my job to prepare you for whatever future you want,” Twilight assures. “If being Princess of Equestria, or Empress or whatever, is what you want . . . then I will do my best to prepare you for that role . . . but I will not just hoof it over to you willy-nilly. If you want this job, then I will give you opportunities to prepare for it.”     Twilight wipes her tears from her eyes with a hoof as she looks off the edge of the balcony. As she does, her sparkling purple mane flows behind her.     “This journey may provide you some opportunities to practice and prepare for this role, if that is what you really want.” Twilight looks at Cozy. “You want the throne? Then prove you are ready for it. I'll keep the seat warm until then.”     “You are serious!” Cozy realizes in amazement.     “I am,” Twilight promises.     “Okay. I'll hold you to that,” Cozy warns.     “You don't have to,” Twilight assures. “But about this mission . . . is this your final verdict? You are going?”     “Um,” Cozy assumes a far more relaxed face as she says, “Yes.”     “Well, alright then!” Twilight says brightly. “Then we have got a lot to do to prepare you for this journey. You'll need food, blankets, books, your toothbrush, and . . .” Twilight trails off for a moment as she mulls this over, then declares. “First thing is first. We'll need a very organized checklist.”     “Of course,” Cozy says with a roll of her eyes.