Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! Slap!
Golden Harvest cracked an eye at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 6:00. It had been such a short night. She was sorely tempted to roll over and pull the blanket back over her head. Sleep would have returned in mere moments.
Instead, still dead tired, she sat up in bed and listlessly gazed around the darkened hotel room, though honestly there wasn’t much to see.... A simple bed of a plain mattress and a blanket she was sure hadn’t ever been washed. A small nightstand with a lamp and an alarm clock. An old beat-up chest of drawers. A pile of stained sheets she had stripped from the bed the previous night before going to sleep. A window that looked out to the amazing vista of a brick wall of the adjacent building. And... nothing else. It was a far cry from her cozy home in Ponyville. It was a far cry from the luxurious upscale Manehattan hotel room she had dreamed about for her first trip to the city.
She briefly reflected on the previous night. After seeing a dejected Applejack off at the police station, she had proceeded to the hotel the officers recommended. It was a cheap hotel, alright. And full. The desk clerk noted that hotel reservations were the only way to guarantee a room in Manehattan on weekends. She pleaded her case. The staff could think of only one hotel in the area that might have availability, though they didn’t recommend it. Still she was desperate. So, after wandering the unfamiliar back streets of Manehattan in the dark, she found it. A run-down hole-in-the-wall. She almost preferred sleeping on a park bench but was sure she’d get arrested. On the plus side though, she could have shared a cell with Applejack! A jail cell probably would have been better. Instead, she took a room and fell into bed. It had been the worst night of sleep she’d ever had. At least the room was cheap, and she could stretch the few bits she’d brought.
Climbing out of bed, she grabbed a towel and trotted down the hall to the community bathroom. After taking care of business, she climbed into shower. It was just her luck the boiler would be out. She shivered under the cold water... on the plus side she was now fully awake. It was undoubtedly the shortest shower of her life.
Taking a few minutes to dry off, she looked into the dirty mirror. Everything considered, she didn’t look too terrible... almost passable. She ran her tongue over her unbrushed teeth and felt the grime from the day before.
Golden Harvest returned to her room and gathered the few things she’d managed to cram into her saddlebags before leaving Ponyville. She wished she had thought to pack a snack from her produce, but her departure from the market had been rushed and chaotic. She only had enough time to get a passing pony to look after her stand before galloping to the train station to meet up with the agents and their innocent prisoner.
She packed her saddlebags and left the room, silently hoping she’d never see it again....
Trotting down the sidewalk, Golden Harvest was forced to navigate the relentless crowds. The previous night’s deserted streets now teemed with life. She had to weave through the masses like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn. And just like a salmon, she had to evade numerous obstacles to make it to her destination.
Though she rarely gave into believing stereotypes, Golden Harvest found in this case they were true. Manehattanites unquestionably lived up to their reputation as extremely pushy, self-centered ponies! Golden Harvest quickly learned to get out of their way. And when she couldn’t, they ran into her without hesitation and failed to provide an apology. More often than not they would simply scowl at her and offer a harsh word from a seemingly endless list of expletives that she’d never heard in her life.
But the crowds were just the start. Delivery ponies rushed packages and crates from parked carts on the street to waiting shopkeepers. Restaurants were setting up outdoor tables and chairs, further constricting the sidewalks. And crossing the busy streets meant dodging carts and carriages. But worst of all was the gum. Inconsiderate ponies tossed it onto the sidewalk without thought, and it was just her luck that Golden Harvest would step onto some!
Finally one insanity of the city would be traded for another. Stepping inside the police station, she noticed that it was far busier than the graveyard shift of the night before, but still not as busy as she would have assumed. Golden Harvest expected it would be jam packed in an hour or two.
She approached the desk and smiled at the police sergeant, a different one than she met the night before.
He set his cake donut aside – seriously, the Manehattan PD were truly living up to the police stereotype! – and took in the unkempt mare who had shuffled in from the street. After eyeing her for a good thirty seconds, he inquired, “Yes?”
“Good morning, I am here to see Applejack.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Applejack?”
“She was brought in last night by the RBI,” clarified Golden Harvest.
“Sergeant Stripe did mention a fugitive being brought in during changeover.” He leafed through the ledger. “Here it is, Applejack Apple.” He looked up, “And you would be?”
“Golden Harvest.”
He eyed her again, “You’re not her lawyer, I hope.”
“No.”
“Blood relative?”
“No.”
“Spouse?”
“No, I’m her good friend –”
“Sorry,” he cut her off, “we don’t allow visits from non-family members at this hour.”
“Please, sir. I travelled all the way from Ponyville with her yesterday. I spent the night in a cheap hotel, and I’ve come to be with her through this ordeal.”
“We can’t just let you –”
Golden Harvest had seen Rarity’s dramatic performances before and gave her best damsel in distress impersonation. Of course, her shabby appearance and heartfelt plea aided her cause. And it didn’t hurt that she felt like she was on the verge of breaking down in tears. “Please, Sir. My friend was arrested yesterday in the middle of town without warning. She was –”
“Miss –”
“– physically dragged halfway across Equestria without being able to say –”
“Miss –”
“- goodbye to her family. Nopony will tell her the charges. She hasn’t had time to hire a lawyer –”
“Miss –”
“– or anything. She’s confused and scared and I’m the only link to sanity she has here. Please, sir –”
“Alright.” He reached behind and banged on the glass wall behind him. A moment later a pale-yellow unicorn came out front. “Lieutenant Beat, please escort Miss Harvest back to see Miss Apple.”
“Sarge?” the confused lieutenant protested.
“Yeah, I know,” he muttered.
Shrugging, the lieutenant said, “Follow me.”
He led Golden Harvest into the familiar office space she had seen the previous night. Now there were numerous police ponies working. Some were busy reading reports. Others filled the room with a cacophony of snaps from their typewriters. More than a few were munching on donuts....
Lieutenant Beat escorted her down a hallway to a heavy wooden door. Unlocking it, he swung it open to reveal a familiar orange mare. The pony looked unkempt, with stray hairs poking out from her mane and tail. And from the way she slouched in her chair and had her head resting face down on a table, she was clearly exhausted.
“Applejack!” cried Golden Harvest.
The pony snapped her head up at the sound of her name. “Golden Harvest!”
Silence reigned for a moment. “Well,” began the lieutenant, “I’ll leave you two mares to it.” He pulled the door shut and there was the noticeable Thunk! from the deadbolt locking.
Golden Harvest gave her best smile. “You look terrible.”
Applejack, for the first time since before her arrest the morning before, cracked a smile, “Ah hate ta break it to ya, sugarcube, but y’all don’t exactly look yer best either.”
The two broke out into a bit of laughter.
Golden pulled a spare chair over to sit across the table from Applejack. “So, how are you doing?”
Applejack removed her trusted Stetson and ran a hoof through her long, golden mane. “Well, Ah’ve been better.” Leaning back in her chair, she paused for a moment before saying, “Jail sure ain’t what Ah was expectin’, and it’s sure ain’t somethin' Ah ever want tah experience again. Them stallions in the other cells kept me up all night. They’ve been longin’ for a mare, an’ Ah was the first one they’ve seen fer a while. An’ it was mighty chilly in mah cell. Ah was cold all night.... Ah guess it couldn’t be helped. Say, it doesn’t look like yah had a great night either.”
“Well...,” began Golden Harvest. She didn’t want to depress Applejack anymore. On the other hoof, misery does love company. “I spent a night in a hotel so bad I almost wish that I had spent the night in jail.”
Applejack shook her head. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“The hotel charged by the hour.”
Applejack’s eyes went wide.
Golden Harvest shrugged, “It was the only place that had a room available.”
Suddenly Applejack facehoofed. “Ah was feelin’ so sorry fer mahself last night, it didn’t even occur tah me. Aunt an’ Uncle Orange live here. Ah should ’ave sent yah to stay the night with them.”
“That’s okay. It wouldn’t be right to just show up unannounced late at night and tell them their niece is a jailbird.”
“Still, yah came all this way with me, an’ y’all are havin’ the worst time on yer first trip to Manehattan,” regretted Applejack.
Golden Harvest shook her head, “It is what it is. Say, have you had anything to eat?”
“Well, Ah had some cold oatmeal this mornin’.”
“I figured as much.” Reaching for her saddle bags, Golden Harvest pulled out a couple of muffins and a few apples. “I stopped by the market to pick up some breakfast.”
Applejack snorted, “What have Ah ever done to deserve a friend like you?”
Golden Harvest laughed, “Be sure to send some of your customers my way next time, why don’t ’cha?”
Applejack laughed, digging into the muffin. “Mmm... apple. How did you know?”
She snorted, “Lucky guess.”
The two friends enjoyed the breakfast, taking time to reflect on happier times.
As they were finishing, the sound of a deadbolt unlocking caught their attention. The two mares turned towards the door expectantly. It swung open to reveal Lieutenant Beat and somepony new.
The other pony was a peculiar stallion. He was an earth pony but had more of the size and build of a pegasus. Scrawny was the word that came to mind. A pair of spectacles perched precariously upon the point of his snout, poised to plummet to the pavement. He wore a cheap brown business suit a size too big that clashed horribly with his natural lavender fur. And next to him stood a worn briefcase with a few papers sticking out of it.
The stallion picked up his suitcase and stepped nervously inside. The door slammed shut, causing him to noticeably flinch. He looked at the mares and hesitantly addressed the closest, “Good morning, Miss Apple?”
She snickered, “I’m Golden Harvest.” She motioned to the mare across the table, “Applejack is the pony with apples for a cutie mark.”
The stallion pushed the glasses back up his snout and examined the other mare. “Yes, I should have noticed that.” Then, looking Applejack directly in the eyes, he gave a weak smile as he said, “Good morning, Miss Apple.”
“Howdy,” she replied, her voice guarded and uncertain as she gauged the strange stallion who stood anxiously before them.
“My name is Whinny. I’m your lawyer.”
Relief washed over her. “A lawyer. Thank Celestia!”
Whinny pulled up a spare chair and sat his briefcase upon the table. Clicking it open, he withdrew a few folders.
“So,” began Golden Harvest, “you’ve represented a lot of ponies in court?”
Looking up to look her in the face, his glasses slipped back down. “Not that many. I only passed the bar two months ago.”
“Two months ago!”
Pushing the spectacles back up his snout, he explained, “Well, it was supposed to be last year, but the bar was really difficult... at least the first three times.”
“But you do have experience?” pressed Applejack.
“Oh yes, I’ve had... moderate success. Traffic court can be challenging.”
“Traffic Court!”
“Yes. This is the first time I’ve practiced in trial court.”
“Well, what am Ah charged with?” Applejack demanded.
Picking up the folders, he pushed his glasses up again and said, “Let’s see....”
“You don’t know?”
“I was only assigned to represent you ten minutes ago.”
As he leafed through the documents his eyes widened and he grew pale, incredible given his lavender coat. His hooves began to tremble slightly causing the papers to shake. He pulled his briefcase onto his lap and propped it upright attempting to shield his exposed barrel.
Applejack’s face fell in despair.
“Is it that bad?” asked Golden Harvest.
“Well... it’s... um... well....”
“Spit it out,” demanded Applejack.
“Armed robbery, assault, larceny, destruction of property....”
The mares stared blankly with their mouths open.
“Oh, and failure to pay a taxi fare.”
A good thirty seconds passed before Applejack said, “Beg your pardon?”
“These are some very serious charges,” Whinny said. “And it looks like there’s a long list of witnesses the prosecution has assembled to testify.” He shook his head, “This doesn’t look good. No, not good at all. I’m sorry to break it to you – please don’t take it out on me, I’m only doing my job – that you’re facing years, perhaps the rest of your life in prison. I recommend trying a plea deal. You plead guilty and some of the charges will be dropped.”
“But Ah’m innocent!”
“Of course you are....”
Applejack slammed her hoof down on the table and Whinny recoiled away, nearly toppling over in his chair.
“I’ve known Applejack most of my life. She’s a descent, hard working pony. A family pony. And honest like no other. She’s not some – gangster. I truly believe she’s innocent.” Golden Harvest smiled over to a fuming Applejack.
As he reflexively pushed his glasses back up his snout, Whinny thought for a moment. “Well, that presents another problem. If you really are innocent –”
“Ah am!”
“Well, if we work out a plea deal and you plead guilty, then it’s proven you’re innocent, then you’ll be charged with perjury, and you’ll serve jail time.”
Applejack groaned while Golden Harvest protested, “You can’t be serious!”
“I am,” said Whinny.
“So, Ah’m damned if Ah do an’ damned if Ah don’t?”
“Yes, it’s a regular Kobayashi Maru.”
“A what?”
“Kobayashi Maru. It’s from this book series I’m reading called Star Trot. You see –”
“Can we get back to Applejack’s defense?” interrupted Golden Harvest.
“Yes, of course. We really need to decide quickly on how you’ll plead. The trial will start very soon.”
Applejack protested, “Wait, ain’t there normally a whole bunch of things that need to be done before a trial?”
“Well, since you weren’t here, you were going to be tried in absentia. But when the RBI arrested –”
“Abducted.”
“– arrested, they did have a warrant. When the RBI arrested you and brought you here, the judge decided that since everything was already going ahead, to just have you stand trial.”
“That don’t make sense.”
“Well, if it’s one thing I learned in four years of law school, the law doesn’t always make sense. But we really must decide how you’ll plead. You can plead no contest, innocent, guilty, or guilty by reason of insanity.”
Golden Harvest shook her head, “If you can be guilty by reason of insanity, then all of Manehattan is guilty of something.”
“Ah’m innocent,” declared Applejack with no room for argument.
“Very well, that’s what we’ll go with.” He thought for a moment, “Where were you when the crimes were committed?”
“Ah don’t even know ‘when’ was.”
“Let’s see....”
“The last time Ah was in Manehattan was when we had to deal with a split-personality Fluttershy running Rarity’s boutique.”
“What?” asked a surprised Golden Harvest.
Applejack shook her head, “It’s a long story sugarcube.”
“You’re going to have to –”
At that moment the door unlocked and swung open to reveal Lieutenant Beat and several additional police ponies. “We must escort you to your trial,” he said sternly.
Applejack groaned as she slid off her chair.
“Wait right there!” barked Lieutenant Beat.
The other police ponies came over and shackled Applejack’s legs.
“Surely this isn’t necessary,” objected Golden Harvest.
“Lady, with what Miss Apple is charged with, we aren’t taking any chances.”
Finally, Applejack looked pitiful as she was secured in several heavy iron manacles.
Lieutenant Beat led the seven ponies through the police station. As they walked down the long office space towards the front lobby, all conversations died and typing ceased as everypony stared in ominous silence at the heavily armed escort that led a single prisoner to judgment....