The rocking of the carriage stirred me awake. I slowly opened my eyes.
I noticed that sitting directly across from me was a mare with a white coat, three shades of purple in her mane and tail which were long and straight, her eyes were light violet and the tips of her hooves were light purple.
I groan a sigh then look out of a window to my left, though there was little point in doing so. The outside environment was pitch black other than some white flakes of snow and ice on the window. Because it was so dark outside, the magic light and heated crystals within the carriage caused me to see my own reflection in the window.
I studied that image for a moment. That young stallion with gray hide and pitch-black mane that did not contrast well against an utterly black background. At least my red eyes stood out. Thanks to that, I could see the misery within them. That and annoyance.
I took a moment to breathe hot air on the window. Doing so fogged up the window for just a moment. Because it was so cold outside and warm inside, the effects of the foggy breath linger for quite a while.
It was at that moment that my beloved traveling companion chose to break the ice of our silence together.
“If brooding had a noise, you'd be shouting right now,” the mare observed.
“You'd know, wouldn't you?” I asked her as my narrow red eyes pierced at her sharply. “I told you that the summit would be a waste of time.”
She shrugged as she said, “We had to do something. All this hatred and fighting between the three tribes is not sustainable, especially with the winter blizzard across the lands. Now, more than ever, is when we should be working together.”
“And your elder sister made that point very clear,” I said with a sarcastic sneer. “Platinum couldn't wait to hark all the blame upon the other leaders. If it wasn't so utterly annoying, I could have sold tickets to that farce of a meeting.”
My companion hung her head with a sigh, then said, “You're not wrong there. My eldest sister did not seem to make any effort to appease or even listen to the other tribes, but Chancellor Puddinghead and Commander Hurricane fared no better. It was as if all three of them were too busy pointing hooves at each other rather than actually talk and listen.”
I narrowed my eyes at the princess as I asked, “Did you really expect any different results?”
“Expect?” she asked as her eyes looked up at me. “No, but hope . . . yes.”
“We can't feed on hope, Trinity,” I sharply reminded her as I continued to glare at her with narrow red eyes. “We can't keep warm with hope. We can't bury our dead with hope, although, to be fair, the snow is doing a perfectly good job of that for us.”
“What hope can do is continue to motivate us to do as we must,” Trinity replied. “Everypony knows our current system is unsustainable. Important changes must be made.”
“Our system is considerably less stable than you think,” I warned her as my gaze shifted back outside in depression. “I fear that the damage is too severe to amend at this point, so there is no point in hope.”
“What do you mean?” Trinity asked me with a slightly spooked tone.
“A word of advice . . . do not have any foals.”
“Huh?” The princess looked taken aback. “But . . . why?”
“Because it would be cruel to bring up a foal into this world, and I know you are not a cruel pony.” I looked back at her. “Besides, there is no point to it anyway. Such a foal would have no future.”
“And how do you know that? You can't see into the future,” the princess pointed out.
“I don't have to. I can just look at the present and past to know where we are going, and why we are doomed.”
I leaned forward slightly as I collected my hooves under my chin.
“It was only sixty moons ago when we had enough unicorns to sustain the cycle of day and night. There used to be thousands of us dedicated to that most crucial pillars of the world. We organized whole teams into a six shift cycle. One team, composed of hundreds of unicorns with only moderate skill, would raise and lower the sun and moon one day, then the next of six teams would do it the next day. The reason we rotated through each of the teams was so that each team would not be overburdened with the task. They each had enough time to relax and recover before resuming their duty again. In this manner, we sustained the cycle safely.”
I looked out into the black night.
“But lately . . . with the ongoing blizzard storm and the crops killed . . . not to mention the freezing cold, the sickness, and the plague of monsters running rampant these days because of the food shortage . . . our supply of unicorn wizards is decreasing.”
I looked back at her.
“First we were reduced to a five-team shift, then four, then three, then two, and finally . . . only one. Star Swirl himself has to join in the duty now, along with the most powerful and talented wizards of our age. Even then, without a break, their magic is breaking. One by one, unless something else kills them off, the mana burn from overtaxing their magic is destroying their ability to channel magic. For some, their channel is damaged enough that they can only perform the simplest of tasks. Others are not so lucky and have lost their connection to magic completely as their horns literally fry. There is even a few who got killed in the attempt to perform their duty.”
I pound the side of my seat with a hoof in frustration.
“Every day and night they have to do this, Trinity. Day in and night out . . . without end . . . with no break. With all the deaths, starvation, sickness, and mana burns we have been suffering, eventually we're going to have no unicorns who can perform this most sacred duty. Do you know what will happen then?”
The princess just stared at me somberly.
“It means the cycle will end,” I drive my point home. “When that comes to pass, half the world will be incinerated, and the other half will freeze to death, even more than this.” I gesture outside with a hoof. “So these blizzard storms and lack of harvest is only the beginning. We are standing at the precipice of the end of the world, Trinity Star.”
I settle back into my seat with a defeated sigh as I reach up with my right hoof and massage my forehead just below my gray horn.
“At this rate, not even one generation will go by before the total extinction of every creature, not just ponies,” I informed her grimly, “so that is why I suggest you don't give birth to any new foals. What's the point if they truly have no future?”
She closed her eyes as she sighed, then opened them again with a look of resolve sinking deep into her eyes.
“No!” Trinity declared firmly. “Until that actually comes to pass, I will not give up. Right now, I think the only point in living is to find out how to continue living, and not just living, but actually thrive!”
I sighed again as I sink my head into my left hoof, the elbow of which was propped up on the arm of the door.
“You're so naive, Trinity,” I told her with a groan. “You don't seem to comprehend the severity of our reality.”
“And why should I?” Trinity asked me sharply. “Giving up is the same as accepting death, and I shall not do that! I sincerely believe, with all my heart, that we are going to pull through this winter darkness. Not only do I believe that, but I shall make it so!” she said with determination, then smiled at me softly as she adds, “Admit it . . . that's why you love me. You see me as a warm light in a bitter winter chill.”
I returned her soft smile as I do indeed admit, “I really don't see what the world has done to deserve somepony as good as you. I look out there,” I shifted my gaze back out the black window, “and all I see is darkness, hatred, and despair.”
“It's not about what the world deserves, Sombra,” Trinity returned. “It's about what the world needs. Right now I think it needs hope and guidance more than ever, and if our current leaders are not up to the challenge . . . then I say it is up to us.”
“Us?” I echoed questioningly.
Trinity closed her light violet eyes as she shook her head and said, “You'd never be able to live with yourself if I ventured out into the wide world without any protection and you know it. You'd be so determined to make sure of it that you'd perform that duty personally.” Her smile brightened. “You'd even do that proudly.”
I stared at her in silence as my gaze softened at her, for I could not deny her claim. There was no point in trying anyway. Trinity was empathic, so she'd know I'm lying if I attempted to deceive her or anypony else, including myself.
I don't think I ever told her how much I've grown to depend upon her for that, but I sincerely doubt such was necessary. A pony that perceptive would realize that anyway. With somepony like her, words don't need to be spoken.
I often envied her for that and many other reasons. She might not be much in a fight other than her protective barrier and healing magic, but there was just something about her that kept others, like me, strong in her presence. A kind of inner courage and strength that encourages others to press on when all other hope seemed lost.
She never gave up. She really did feel like a warm light in the chilling darkness of our world.
I gazed out the window again as I contemplated the fact that I had never seen the sun even once in my life. I had seen paintings of it, and some of the older ponies, of the few that were left, told me what it was like. That it was this giant ball in the sky that radiated light and warmth so powerful that it could shine and warm the entire landscape all at once across the entire horizon, especially at high noon.
But, these days, the closest thing I had ever seen the sun was the brightest gray spot in the bitter wintry clouds above.
That . . . and the pony sitting across from me. For some reason . . . I kept imagining that her spirit was what the sun might feel like.
When the carriage came to a stop, I clasped the front end of my regal cape that had spotted white fur inner trimming and crimson exterior. My companion, meanwhile, bundled up in a thick pink winter coat.
Both of us waited for that familiar golden-brown aura color to envelop the door of our carriage. When that happened, the door got pulled open for us.
“Greetings Lord and your Majesty,” greeted tan hide unicorn stallion draped with a green wool cloak a separate hood secured over his head. Yellow rope helped to secure that hood to his head at the neckline.
“Greetings, Clover,” I returned as I slipped out of the carriage then spun about to offer a hoof to the princess in order to help her exit. She daintily accepted then pulled out.
Once Princess Trinity was safely out, I ignited my horn and looked about, but as usual, the light of my horn barely pierces the black night. Only objects or creatures in very close proximity to my horn light was bathed in crimson light.
“Welcome home, my lord,” Clover bade as he used his magic to tuck his clock in close.
“Thank you,” I said back. “It is good to finally be home.”
“Will you be staying with us for the night, Your Majesty?” Clover asked the princess kindly.
“If you wouldn't mind,” Trinity replied while giving me a questioning glance.
“You are always welcome in our castle, Your Majesty,” I replied to her. “My home is your home for as long as you choose to grace us with your presence.”
“I would recommend it,” Clover advised to the princess. “We would not be able to reach your castle for at least a few more hours, but it would most likely be much longer than that.” He looked skyward. “I don't like the looks of this weather. It looks like it will be another hard blizzard tonight.”
“So what else is new?” I asked dourly with a role of my eyes.
“Please, Your Majesty, for your safety and-”
“. . . yours as well,” Trinity interrupted Clover with kindness in her voice. “I think you've magicked the wheels of the carriage enough for tonight. For your own health, you need to rest as well.”
“My primary concern is you right now,” Clover said back, then admitted, “though, I will admit, I am feeling quite drained. I don't think I'd have the strength to magic the carriage through all of this ice and snow all the way to your castle before the end of the night.”
“Then it's a good thing we're here instead,” I put in. “Enough of this pointless debate. We're obviously all settled on the idea of staying here, so let’s just go inside and seek refuge from the harsh blizzard.”
“I couldn't agree more,” Clover called more loudly as the severe winter winds picked up and attempted to sweep our voices away. He used his magic to lower the edge of his hood to shield his eyes from the freezing storm. “This way. Follow me.”
The three of us had to push our way against the winter winds in the black night. Princess Trinity even conjured a hemisphere of a force barrier, but she was still being pushed back. I moved in close and put a supportive leg around her barrel. She glanced at me then nodded in appreciation before we pushed ourselves ever onward.
As we made our way to the front door of my castle, my heart sank somewhat as I gazed around at what used to be hedge bushes, but the chill of endless winter and lack of sunlight shriveled them up years ago, not to mention being additionally mostly buried under white, powdery snow. The glow of my horn glistened off the small powdery hills which only served to remind me what was concealed beneath. That, and some of my favorite statues.
Cold.
Endless winter.
That was all our bitter, bleak world was anymore, and it was so depressing to realize that things were about to get so much worse. Wealth, magic, and status mattered little on a sinking ship.
Shadows shifted all around us as the light of my horn collided with any object along our way to the front of the castle until, at last, we made it to the front door and met up with the two guards posted there.
“Open the doors,” I commanded when we met up with the castle guards.
Only one of them responded by coughing a hacking fit within this thick furred armor made of fur and leather. His companion, however, didn't move at all.
“At once, my lord,” said the one alert guard to my right. His horn glowed cerulean as he attempted to open the castle doors, but his companion did not budge at all.
“HEY! Did you hear me?” I asked the other still guard. “I gave you an order.”
I immediately looked at Trinity when she applied a soft hoof on my shoulder. Once she had my attention, she closed her eyes and slowly shook her head no.
At once I realized what she meant. There was only one type of creature she could not sense any emotion from, and that was from a corpse.
Clover bent down and hovered a hoof near the muzzle of the other still guard. After five seconds of checking, he looked back at me and reported, “He's gone.”
I feel stunned for a moment, but eventually close my eyes and bow my head. This happened so many times in my life that I grew somewhat numb to it, except it always caused an ever-deepening bleak feeling in my soul.
“Clover,” I said after twelve seconds of heavy silence other than the sounds of the whistling winter winds. When I spoke, I opened my eyes and looked at my indentured servant slowly. “You know what to do.”
“Yes, my lord,” Clover said with sad acceptance. After that, he magicked up the entire corpse and floated it away.
“Going to bury him in the snow?” Princess Trinity predicted in a sad and weary voice.
I ignored her question because I knew she wouldn't want to know the grim truth. Instead of answering her question, I magicked open the door myself.
“You,” I pointed my hoof at the last remaining guard, “step inside the castle. I don't want you freezing to death out here too.”
“B-b-b-but, m-m-my l-l-lord, h-how c-can I k-k-keep an eye f-f-for intruders w-w-while inside?” the remaining guard stammered.
“By keeping an eye on the entrance from within the castle,” I answered somewhat irritably. “If your brain wasn't so frozen solid out here, you would have easily thought of that.”
I looked back the way we came.
“Besides, there isn't much left alive in our world anymore to threaten us,” I went on in an empty voice. I looked back at the guard. “For you to remain with us in the land of the living, reasonable precautions must be made.”
“I couldn't agree more,” the princess concurred to my side. “Step inside at once. I'll heal you as much as I can.” She looked to me. “Can we get this stallion some hot soup and a warm blanket?”
“I'll see what I can do,” I replied. “Step inside, everypony.”
When they complied, I magicked the door shut, for we couldn't afford to lose any more heat in this castle than we already had during the duration I had this door open.
“My lord! At last you came,” called a red-braided maid who trotted down the stairs.
“At ease, Missus Cucumber,” I bade her. “What seems to be the trouble?”
“It's your father, my lord,” Missus Cucumber answered when she reached the base floor. “He's been ill for the past moon now, and I'm afraid he recently took a turn for the worse.”
I widened my eyes in shock to my maid, then looked at the princess when she spoke.
“I'm going to attend to this one right now,” Princess Trinity informed me. “I'll join you as soon as I get this one settled.” She then looked at the maid. “Can you prepare a bowl of hot soup and a warm blanket?”
“I'll try,” Missus Cucumber replied with a little bit of doubt. “But there's not much food left. I'm afraid the soup might be quite simple.”
“That's fine,” Trinity accepted. “Just get started on this at once.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Missus Cucumber replied with a gracious bow. “Will you be staying the night as well?”
“I don't think I have much of a choice,” Trinity answered as she glanced back at the front entrance. “I'm afraid I wouldn't make it back to my own castle in this winter storm.”
“Indeed. The weather out there is quite dreadful,” the maid agreed.
While they spoke, I trotted on to my father's room on the second story of the castle.
I burst into my father's room after I turned the knob using my magic.
“Father!” I called aloud as soon as I entered, more loudly than I really intended to. I almost winced at my own volume, but then I saw him.
That gray, emaciated stallion on my father's bed kind of resembled my father, but something was off. My father had always been poised, firm, commanding, and dignified. He was one of the most powerful and educated stallions of our age. He even once commanded legions of ponies into battle. He was a stallion I looked up to and hoped that I would one day aspire to and surpass.
But one thing I knew my father wasn't is a shriveled up husk lying on his back in bed. This impostor was a mockery of everything I had once respected about this stallion.
“Just be with him,” said Madam Matron who put a hoof on my shoulder before she left the room. I did not glance at her or make any noticeable response. Instead, I stood transfixed at the door while I struggled to reconcile the mere idea that such a powerful stallion I once respected could be reduced to this.
For a moment, all I could think about was how long would be before this became my fate as well?
Then I noticed his horn, particularly the tip of it and how it became all burned out. When I saw that, my heart sank as I recognized what had caused his current condition. No doubt he had been on celestial cycle duty for quite some time without a break. Clearly he pushed himself so hard that he burned out all of his magic, including the amount required to sustain a pony's life.
For a pony lives magic. Breathes magic. Was magic. Without that, there was no life. Not in the case of a complete burnout.
I sighed as I looked down and turned my gaze from him, for I did not want to acknowledge this situation.
Until I heard my father groan something, but I could not understand him at this distance. I did not really want to, but I had to get much closer to him if I was to have a chance to understand anything that he said.
So, reluctantly, I pulled in close and floated a chair beside his bed, but I still could not look at him. A weak father was the antithesis of everything I knew about the stallion.
The Lord of this Castle.
“I'm here, Father,” I told him patiently when I sat beside him. “What do you want?”
“You . . . are about to come of age,” my father wheezed in a faint voice. “You . . . are a powerful stallion.” His eyes shifted to look at me, but hardly any other muscle in his body moved, almost as if it couldn't. “Fulfill . . . your . . . duty.”
For some reason, cold rage filled inside me, and I glared up at my father as I asked, “You think I wouldn't? You are well aware that you drilled into me my sense of duty to our ponies.”
“Your . . . ponies,” my father corrected. “I cannot continue with my duties now. It's now all up to you.”
“You think I wouldn't know that?” I snapped at him bitterly. “I won't fail in my duties.”
“Heavy . . . is the brow . . . that wears the crown,” my father warned me firmly. “Your ponies . . . are your strength. You . . . are the head . . . of the family now. That is what all that education was for. That was what all that training was for.”
He winced his eyes as he coughed painfully, then struggled to look back at me with pain-filled eyes.
“From now on . . . you . . . are not just you. You are also all the ponies that you lead. Be . . . strong!” he urged as strongly as he could. “Be brave,” he went on. “Be just.”
I narrowed my eyes at him a bit, then said with a low growl, “You haven't eaten since the burnout, have you?”
My father simply directed his gaze above him then closed his eyes with a pained wince.
“You dare to lecture me about being strong?!” I went on with anger. “Don't be a hypocrite. If you want me to remain strong, then remain here to make sure I am. You don't need your magic to live. At least, not all of it. You do, however, need nourishment.”
The only thing that changed was my father wincing tighter.
“Don't LEAVE ME, FATHER!” I cried out at him. “You can fight this! You do have a choice, so choose to live! Eat something!”
My father unleashed his last gasp of air, ending in a stuttering mess.
“No!” My ears droop, then I scowl. “You COWARD! YOU COULD HAVE FOUGHT HARDER! WHY DIDN'T YOU?!”
My father makes no movement or sound, including breathing. He was clearly dead now. I had seen this enough times before to recognize the signs.
However, emotionally, this was another story. I was so accustomed to death but only from a distance. Sometimes it almost became a casual thing, but it never quite came to that level.
“How many did we lose this week?” I once inquired of one of my servants in the castle.
“Good news, my lord,” the servant replied. “We only lost thirteen souls this week.”
Instead of cheering, I frowned instead. A loss was still a loss. The only good news about it was it's simply unusually low loss that week.
“Be sure to reallocate their food supplies among their surviving families,” I replied almost automatically, for such words had become quite routine under these circumstances.
“Of course, my lord,” the servant replied with a bow.
The only other good news I could see from news like that was that it meant one less mouth to feed, and that much greater odds of survival for all the others.
I hated being that callous, but I was forced to look at all the facts. If our race was to survive to the next age, we'd need to do as we must.
But this . . . this was different. This was my father! A crucial pillar of strength in my life. I did not need him directly. I have learned to be strong and independent a long time ago, as if in anticipation of ever harsher times to come.
But he was the one I had always looked up to. He was the one who inspired me, the example I looked up to.
The strong were not the dead! Instead, that was the epitome of disgusting mortal weakness!
And my father was not like that! He could rise above such standards! He should!
But he didn't. It was a choice. He was conserving the remaining food reserves for those he led because they had a greater chance to live.
I made decisions like that many times in my life by that point, but buck all that!
This was my father!
My mind snapped. I cried out in the room while a raging storm churned inside me.
At the same time, I channeled my magic wildly. I had never done that before, especially not to this extent. I was raised with too much discipline, but this time . . . I could not contain myself.
The roar that filled the room had a monstrous echo. My vision clouded in darkness as my magic changed from red to popping black for the first time in my life. I did not even know that was happening at the time, nor did I care.
All I knew was that I had to DESTROY!
Those earth ponies will PAY for what they have done! If they don't have the courtesy to share their remaining food, then the least they can do is be the food!
Death is too good for them! I will make sure of that! Someday, I swear, I'll torture them with a never-ending nightmare!
I hate them! I hate them!
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAATE THEEEEEEEEEEM!
Objects telekinetically flew all around me in a whirlwind. I glared at my father's dresser with bloodshot eyes since it was one of the few objects that didn't fly through the room too easily, so I focused my magic on it to vibrate it at an accelerated rate. That weakened its structural integrity over time then eventually shattered. I had the splintered pieces spread out throughout the room then whirl in a cycle.
While that happened, I punched at the wall over and over again. The effort cracked my hooves a bit, but I did not care, and the wall fared much worse. Cracks spread on it as well, and more so with successive punches.
Until a gentle hoof touched my back. Still enraged, I flung my attention back to the pony, but was instantly stunned when I noticed that it was Princess Trinity Star.
And . . . she looked wounded! She actually trotted through the whirling telekinetic cycle storm in the room, and for some reason she did it without her barrier magic. It was as if she allowed herself to get hurt as she approached me.
Noticing that greatly startled me, but the look of pain in her eyes downright horrified me, for that was pain in her very soul.
Tears flooded down her eyes. Her lips quivered with pain.
I knew, from the look in her eyes, she felt everything I felt. She experienced all of it, and she cared to the depth of her being.
I hurt her . . . just by being wounded myself.
This would not stand!
She clasped me in a hug. Standing against me like that, I could feel her body shiver.
My stars! She seemed more wounded than even I was!
I pressed my back against the cracked wall I had been punching and slowly slid my way to the floor.
No! No, no, no, no, no, NO, Trinity! Not you! Anything but this!
You cannot be hurt. I won't let you! You don't deserve that.
We . . . don't deserve you . . . this bitter, cold, bleak, and empty world!
You . . . the brilliantly twinkling star beset in an endless void of hungry darkness!
I wrapped my hooves across her back. Despite all of my pain, I felt like it was my sacred duty, even privilege, to comfort her.