//------------------------------// // Sunset’s mom has got it going on (slice-of-life, sexual-references-so-just-skip-it-if-you-don’t-like-those-kinda-things) // Story: A Band of Misfit Losers Hunt the Undead // by Rune Soldier Dan //------------------------------// The dorm room refrigerator was communal property, a full-sized blessing courtesy of a rare act of nepotism by Miss Celestia. It used to inhabit the Canterlot High faculty lounge until they got a new one, and this discreetly found its way to the dorm after hours of scrubbing to remove two decades of gross buildup. Not that Adagio did any of the scrubbing. Uncommon for college students, their fridge was packed with wholesome produce courtesy of Applejack. Also post-it notes, courtesy of Sunset. “Wallflower, this is everyone’s juice, don’t drink it right from the carton.” “Applejack, always remember that you are beautiful and loved!” “Adagio, this is my pie, don’t eat it.” The last note was on a small plastic container near the front. Adagio picked it up and found a second post-it on top. “I MEAN IT, Adagio! Sugarcube Corner is about to stop making mint chocolate pies. If you rob this from me I am going to kill you!” Adagio pried off the lid, revealing a perfect slice of mint green speckled with dark chocolate chips. She breathed in the crisp sweetness and grinned. A few steps behind her, Applejack folded her arms. “Daj.” Adagio didn’t look. “Grab me a spoon, will you?” “Do the right thing, Daj.” “Go splitsies with me,” Adagio purred. “That’s almost the right thing.” “Put it back,” Applejack said. Adagio turned, shamelessly displaying the container. “Come on, look at these notes! She’s practically daring me to take it.” “No, she’s practically ready to kick your ass because you don’t respect her stuff. High time you cut it out.” “And who’s gonna stop me?” Adagio let out a cruel chuckle. She waggled a finger at Applejack. “You? What are you going to do about it?” A smile’s ghost played on Applejack’s lips, though her arms remained crossed. “No, you’re going to stop you. It’s the right thing, and I trust you do it.” Adagio sneered, tilting her head to look down on Applejack. “Yes, but I can also eat it. And oh, look, you’re not going to do anything. You can say that you trust me all you like, but we both know I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger. You’re practically my minion, bound by lust to never go against me again.” “That may be so,” Applejack said steadily. “But I’ll be real disappointed if you eat it.” “You think your disappointment means anything to me?” Adagio thrust out a hip, smiling coyly. “Yep.” That almost-smile still twisted the corners of Applejack’s mouth. Her vivid green eyes held Adagio’s. Adagio stared back, unwilling to concede. Ten seconds passed, and Adagio broke the gaze. She put the lid on the container and set it back in the fridge. “That’s my girl,” Applejack said in a twang like warm butter. Adagio gave an airy flick of her curls. “Whatever. You’re lucky I lov…” She caught herself and cleared her throat. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute.” “Love you too, babe.” “Whatever.” Adagio pouted, drawing a snicker from Applejack. “But hey, listen. That package on the sofa? It just came in. A little something for us two, to spice things up in–” A key ground into the hallway door, and with practiced motion Sunset forced it with a quick shove from her shoulder. “Hi, guys! I brought company. Thanks for coming, Mom.” Applejack tensed and stood up a little straighter. Adagio shifted hips to her sexier one. As tall as Applejack and far skinnier, Celestia glided into the dorm behind Sunset wearing a casual gray turtleneck and her iconic purple pants. She nodded to the girls – Applejack wiggled her fingers in a wave, while Adagio pretended not to see. “Hello, Applejack,” Celestia said. With only a tiny bit of hesitation she added, “Adagio. Don’t mind me, I’m here for the sink.” Adagio released a hard breath and beamed. “Oh, thank you. It’s straight-up bullshit: our pipes are leaking bad enough to go down into the next apartment. Dali Hall is going to bill us the damage if it keeps up, but we’ve called maintenance over and over for two months with no response.” “That’s why I’m here.” Celestia gave a melodic laugh. “I’ve learned a thing or two keeping Canterlot High’s plumbing in order.” That was her secret: she was perfectly beautiful, but also perfectly down-to-earth. The pair watched as Celestia approached the dining room sink. Her purple pants swished together above short white socks, exposing a sultry inch of her ankles. She got on her knees and bent down low beneath the sink. Applejack gulped, flushing red as she watched the butt rise. Adagio just smirked. Sunset stepped between them and Celestia, wearing a tight frown and glare. “Really?” she mouthed. Applejack clasped her hands in a praying motion and bowed her head, whispering, “Sorry.” Adagio slunk past Sunset, only grinning wider as their gazes met. “Hey, Miss Celestia?” The raised bottom of the purple pants waved as Celestia worked. “You’re not a student anymore. ‘Celestia’ is fine.” “Thank you,” Adagio said, her voice the very model of a grateful junior. “I just wanted to ask something. We’re making plans to go to Endless Sun this winter. You know, the indoor water park? Just the Rainbooms and me and a few others having fun, going on water rides, in our swimsuits. We’d love it if you joined us.” “Adagio…” Sunset growled. “What’s wrong, Sunset?” Adagio asked. Her words were innocent – her face, anything but. “I was just inviting her, but if you don’t want your mother to come after all she’s done for you, I’d understand.” “It’s not that,” Sunset said, then muttered “You manipulative harpy,” under her breath. Celestia’s muffled voice came from out of sight. “I understand, too. Everyone needs to exercise their independence, and part of that is having unique circles of friends. There is nothing wrong with Sunset wanting to have fun away from her mother’s prying eyes. I appreciate the offer, but I must decline.” Adagio’s gaze oozed from Sunset to Celestia’s rear, but her contrite voice never changed. “Got it, sorry… I just have this dream, you know? Of being able to make friends with everyone I ever wronged. Crazy fantasy, I know.” “It’s a worthy dream,” Celestia said kindly. Her butt wiggled a little more with the work. “Don’t worry about it. There’s no wrong way to fantasize.” Sunset slapped her forehead. Adagio’s grin threatened to devour her face. “Gosh, thank you! Some of my friends have trouble with that. But you said it best…” She silently thrust the air with her hips. “There’s no wrong way to fantasize.” Sunset looked over to Applejack for support. Applejack wore an intense, guilty scowl and equally intense blush as she wrung her hat and stared to Celestia’s backside. “Hey Celestia,” Adagio cooed. Sunset whipped back to find her standing quite close to the sink. “Sorry, but you have a big knot of lint on your pants. Can I get it for you?” Celestia chuckled. “How embarrassing! Yes, please and thank you.” “Don’t you dare,” Sunset mouthed, leveling the most deathly glare she could produce. Adagio met it and never looked away as she reached down and plucked ever-so gently at Celestia’s butt. “Got it!” she cheered, and blew the fictional lint away. Some combination of mercy and survival instinct bid her retreat at that point, leaving the kitchen to let Celestia do her thing. “Thanks for fixing it, Mom,” Sunset cheered, already closing the door on her. “Just give me a minute to get myself together and I’ll be right down.” The door closed. Her smile fell. “What the fuck!?” “I’m so sorry.” Applejack bowed, almost in tears. “It’s those dang purple pants. Even back in high school they always seemed a little too small. All showing her ankles and hugging her butt. There’s no way she don’t know what she does to people.” “It’s Celestia, of course she doesn’t know,” Sunset grumbled. Applejack went on, not that Sunset asked. “I fell head over heels for her freshman year. You know me, when I crush on someone I crush hard and stupid. I can’t lie, I even used a computer and took a picture of her and–” “Applejack, sometimes it’s okay to lie. It really is.” Adagio lounged on the sofa with her back against a cardboard package, tapping on her phone. “Ease off, Sunset. There’s no wrong way to fantasize.” “Okay. I can’t deal with this shit right now.” Sunset scooped up her jacket and pointedly turned away. “I’m going out to dinner with my dear, romantically unavailable mother and I will do you both the kindness of trying to forget this ever happened.” She paused with the door open. “And Adagio, if you touch her butt again, I’m kicking yours.” The door slammed behind her without waiting for a response. Applejack released a long breath of tension. Adagio raised an eyebrow. “Life imitates art, I suppose.” “What do you mean?” The siren gave a wordless smile. She pulled a dagger from her sleeve and began cutting into the cardboard package. Applejack watched curiously as a hole formed to reveal… a smaller box. Adagio rolled her eyes and began cutting into that one, finally deigning to explain. “Variety is the spice of life, and that applies to sex. Experimenting, role-play and so on are all important ways for people to test their comfort zones and blow each others’ minds.” “So… get ready.” Applejack was an easy tease, and already blushing. Adagio hunched over to retrieve something, blocking her view. Then, with a high sweep of her flexible legs, Adagio righted herself. She faced away, yet held nothing. The only change was a wig, covering Adagio’s orange curls with wavy lines of pink, blue, and green in copy of Celestia’s hair. She spun, and the sole of her spiked, heeled boot stomped hard against the floor. A riding crop (which apparently she also kept in her sleeve) flicked into her hand, then slapped into her palm. “Miss Apple, you have been a very naughty student. Report to my office for special detention.” Applejack blushed so hard her freckles seemed light instead of dark. “You didn’t.” “I did.” Adagio reached back into the box and fished out a pair of tight purple pants. She waved them before Applejack’s eyes, smirking cruelly. “Now picture me wearing these, the wig…” Applejack swallowed. Adagio went on in a husky whisper. “…And nothing else. Except, perhaps, a few strategic pieces of black tape.” Applejack swept off her hat and twisted it in her hands. She had never quite found the courage to make a first move – it’s why the others were so great for her – and so remained rooted in place as Adagio drew closer, yet then stepped back with an impish laugh. “Of course, if I’m going to be bringing your old dreams to life, I’ll need a little something back.” “Anything,” Applejack breathed. Which, while not quite true, was the right thing to say. Adagio pulled out two more things from the box and tossed them to her. Applejack caught them, stared to them. Snug purple pants, in her size. And another wig, exactly like Adagio’s. Adagio doffed her wig and strut forwards, flicking the crop airily while lacing her words with honey. “You’re not the only one with high school fantasies, my dear, hypnotized principal. I’ll go on to take over the rest of the school soon enough, but first it’s time for me to put my sexy new slave through her paces.” A weak giggle broke out from Applejack’s throat. She put on the wig; Adagio grinned and did the same. The big farmer stood nearly paralyzed, only able to lift her arms out to embrace as Adagio drew near. They kissed each other, with Adagio standing on tip-toes to reach. The door opened, and Sunset barreled in. “I forgot my keysFUCKING REALLY, YOU GUYS!?” Dinner with her mom was pleasant. It was dark by the time Sunset made it back to the dorm. She opened the fridge. A clear plastic container with “Adagio” scribbled on it sat near the front. Sunset opened the lid to find a slice of red velvet cake inside. “Hey, Sunset.” She only turned her head enough to fix Applejack with a glare. The girl cringed downwards, smiling nervously with hands raised in meek surrender. “Maybe… maybe take the high road, this time?” Sunset maintained eye contact as she picked the cake up with her fingers and crammed the whole thing into her mouth. “Okay, yep, that’s fair.” Applejack chuckled hesitantly as Sunset chewed. “But, um, maybe call it even with Daj right there? And just take the rest of it out on me.” Sunset stopped chewing. The glare softened to an intense stare. “You can have my radish on the bottom shelf,” Applejack tried. Sunset swallowed. Closed her eyes. Spoke calmly. “Applejack, I know this relationship is unconventional by human standards. And I approach it with different priorities than a human might, seeking friendship and affection over romance and sensuality. I appreciate your patience in this. It is clear that I need to take some new steps to…” Her eyes opened, a brilliant green as they fixed upon Applejack. “Satisfy your needs. I can experiment. And you need punishment.” Her hand snaked out and wrapped around Applejack’s wrist. Sunset pulled gently, and Applejack stepped closer. Her nervous grin morphed to a stupid one under Sunset’s manic gaze. Sunset walked backwards. Applejack obediently followed, all the way into their room. The door closed. The door opened. A multi-hued wig flew hard into the wall outside before their door slammed shut once more.