//------------------------------// // The Dark Story of Luna // Story: Transcending Fluttershy's Dark Sky // by Misty Shadow //------------------------------// The twilight will end before the night, and the sky shall darken for the moon to turn bright The order shall reverse so that the past will last to see the moon, and so the gateway to the future anew will open soon. Luna's Scenario In the universe of the dark sky, the human world had been terminated by Twilight, and Celestia was planning to begin the interminable age of machines. It was like a massive shipping fanfic, only there were no cameras on in the real life of fantasy. To generate the new generation a new generation of recent changes, Celestia had used the power of downgrade fusion to fuse the two most physically capable ponies in Equestria, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, with machines in order to create two impossibly powerful cyborg alicorn ponies, at the cost of their human hearts (they could function without them because they were ponies). The universe was doomed by Celestia's darkness, but light still remained in the heart of the one who hides the light with her shadows...her sister Luna. Celestia laughed inside of her castle triumphantly with great victorious quality at her victory that was thanked by Twilight's victory. Everything was going great from her except for one irrefutable fact that she was so distraught by, she didn't dare to try to refute it...Luna was returning home from her time at school. "Celestia, I'm home!" Luna said as she came home. "Sister, you won't believe..." "I KNOW YOU'RE HOME, YOU REDUNDANT DUNDERING DUNDERHEAD!" Celestia shouted. "Stop reminding me of my son!" "I'm sorry, but-" Luna apologized. "And I already know you're sorry because you did something to wrong me!" Celestia was dignified in her confidence that Luna had made her indignant. "God (she was very angry, so she swore by herself), you are like the Ralph Wiggum of the fantasy world! One moment I turn around, and when I turn back, you're trying out to be Ralph Wiggum for the live-action reenactment of the Simpsons movie!" "Now let's not take this personally," Luna said feeling hurt knowing she'd make a perfect Ralph Wiggum as she was a real talking magical horse, "I just wanted to tell-" "Oh I will take it personally, because you are too personal!" Celestia condescended like flames that had ascended into someone's singing voice. "Children are selfish, and you're only five years old, so you must always be thinking about yourself!" Author's Note: I just wanted to point out here that the reason Luna is five years old is because Celestia made her that way. "I don't always think about myself," Luna replied, "I'm just a philanthropic child who's devoted her life to helping everyone, that's why my life is the center of my universe!" "Well at least now we're on even terms!" Celestia warmed up to her like the fires of hell. "Alright, what happened to you today?" "It all started in my teacher Mrs. Cheerilee's classroom," Luna recounted the story of the universe like an ascending slope that led two characters with nothing in common to the mental hospital (hint, hint). "Everything was going just like an ordinary day... "I was waiting for Mrs. Cheerilee at the desk, and my school subjects were being very difficult as usual, because I'm not very smart." Luna regretted with unfortunate sadness. "They threw their papers at me, they spat horrible words at me, and worst of all, they were mad at me because I made school really difficult for them." "Wow, you even make life difficult for your textbooks," Celestia chuckled, "now that is just sad." "I think you mean my classmates," Luna corrected like a time eraser as she drew a flashback in her head to reality. "Anyways, just like my subjects, my subjects were being very difficult with me..." "Curse you Luna!" shouted the school classmates. "Thanks to you, education isn't fun anymore! School used to be easy, but you had to be an idiot and answer all of the teacher's questions and real-life problems (real-life problems are hard to solve when they're someone else's) like a genius! Now we have to answer really difficult questions on our homework about life like "Why do living things live?", "Why is the sky blue?", and "What color is the sky?"!" "I'm sorry, but those questions are easy!" Luna assured like a sponge that wanted to wash up on shore but got a flight ticket to New Jersey instead. "Especially when you realize that the question is the answer! They just appear hard because the answers are pretty variant and ambiguous!" "You big usurper of happiness!" the class teased in a tea'd off manner as they hit her with plastic bags. "You're the president of America, so why don't you start acting like it in a classroom!" "But I haven't done anything!" Luna unwittingly alleviated the class' depression by making their time away from recess more enjoyable as they erupted with laughter. "Please just listen to me!" The erupting feelings of laughter erupted in silence as an explosion was heard and the door exploded into a million little towel-kind of dry splinters, as grass and flowers grew on the floor. "The head of the classroom is not ahead of itself today!" Applejack stepped through the door armed with a gun. "Behold your instructor, kids!" "Greetings, crazy horse!" Luna welcomed, recognizing what her sister created. "What kind of wisdom are you going to share with us?" "It's time for your lesson now kids," Applejack reached into her furry barrel which was like a chest of fur, "just to let you know, I'm not like those other pansy assassins. I don't kill with nature...I MAKE MY VICTIMS BECOME ONE WITH NATURE!" "SHE'S GOING TO SHOOT US!" the children exclaimed as Applejack swapped her gun for a deadly weapon...a missile. "I WILL PROTECT YOU!" Luna cried heroically as she threw her crushing feather weight over the kids, smothering them like a mother bird's wing and casting a protection spell. From the missile, Applejack fired an explosive rocket launcher that blew up and destroyed every pony. The only things that remained were the garden, Luna, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were the only students that were engulfed by the protection spell in time. "So some of you are still alive..." the killer Applejack looked over the living remnants with an awkward feeling of respect. "It appears that I've failed my mission...but in a good way." "What do you mean, sister?" Apple Bloom asked her back in a kind of verse. "Aren't you just going to kill us anyway? Why do you have a horn on your head? And why are you evil?" "I have to be, it's part of my commissioned programming." Applejack replied. "And speaking of commission...I'm not going to get paid for this, but I will be more than willing to pay you three in more than one way or the others..." "Wait, what about me?" Luna asked feeling a sense of guilt. "I failed to protect everyone, I need to be punished. I SHOULD BE THE ONE GETTING PAID!" "Assailants are not munificient with pain, Mr. Fru Fru!" Applejack ripped into Luna's unstable conscience. "NOW HAND OVER THE CHILDREN!" "NEVER!" Luna seldomly connected her bravery with these recent events of the growing past. "But...I am only five years old. And if I die right now as a hero, I may never accomplish anything great later in my life! Just take the children, you evil coward!" "A wise decision, sage of the younger years!" Applejack complimented joyfully as she grabbed the Crusaders. "And don't even think about following me!" "What have I done...that was a terrible thing to do!" Luna cursed herself being such a good hero that she immediately regretted her mistake. "Know this Teacher Applejack! I may not follow in your footsteps this minute...but I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE THIS DAY FOR THE GOOD OF ALL OF US!" "Moron..." Applejack laughed as she teleported out of the school. "Some day, we will meet again, and that day, I will kill you!" "I have to wait..." said Luna as she noticed her classmates were in pieces, as they had been reduced to ashes and ghosts completely. "Right now, I must give the dead their peace!" So Luna buried some of the ashes and ghosts in what would be Cheerilee's garden, and buried the rest in the sky where beautiful rainbows would be made, so they would be divided into pieces and be at peace. "I have saved the dead!" Luna bellowed proudly. "Now I must save the living! The only reasonable evil lair that evil Applejack could've gone to is evil Applejack's house!" So the five-year old hero Luna flew to Applejack's house, using her childlike imagination to imagine that she was Superman, who was a strong hero in American culture that could fly. "Tis only a dream..." said Luna sadly as she arrived at Sweet Apple Acres where the only life that could be seen there was Big Macintosh, as all the crops and plants (even the ones that were seeds and didn't grow yet) had been destroyed by the fires of the looming apocalypse brought by Celestia. "Big Mac," Luna donned the truth onto Big Mac like an old king. "there's fire and smoke everywhere! Where's Applejack?" "Probably in the basement to get away from the fire..." Big Mac explained despondently, "I hope she's alright...right now, I'm just troubled. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my mechanical pencil..." "Don't look down upon yourself!" Luna gave encouraging advice quickly as not to hang about and lag around. "Just thanks for not being stiff with me!" When Luna teleported in the cellar basement, she made sure to hide while she had a disguise on. Engaging the enemy was not a good idea, so she used her magic to transform herself into the moon and hid herself in the air. Normally, the moon is very large, but when it's seen from the perspective of the sky (and when the ponies have had their eyes clouded by air pollution, giving them 0/0 vision), it looks really small and a normal sight. To make it even more inconspicuous, Luna created bright stars all around her to make it look even more ordinary. Now her disguise was perfect! "WAH WAH FAW FAW FAW!" Applejack laughed sinisterly as she had bound the Cutie Mark Crusaders to the wall with ropes. "Today is the day you shall pay, Cutie Mark Crusaders!" "You crazy weird sister of my friend!" Scootaloo shouted. "You wacked cuckoo chicken friend of my sister!" Sweetie Belle demanded an insult upon her. "What are you going to do to us?!" "I'm going to pay you fools, of course!" Applejack insisted. "Since this is going to be the last day of your lives, I'm going to pay you just for breathing!" Applejack pulled out a heavy bag and opened it, revealing it was full of stuff...the green stuff, one million dollars in cash! "A...a...MILLION DOLLARS?!" the trio squealed in delight. "Wow sister, I guess you're not that evil!" Apple Bloom crunched like loopy soy fruit. "Think of how much good we could do with all that money! We could donate it to the bank, so they'd have more than enough money to make everyone rich!" "We could donate it to the insurance company!" Sweetie Belle suggested. "Then they'd have enough money to insure that no one would get sick!" "We should donate it to the lottery!" Scootaloo scooted to chase the picked power of the fall's random chance. "Then everyone in the world would have enough money to gamble!" "AGH!" Applejack jolted. "You humanitarian fellow pony lovers! I'm not giving you this money to give to others! I want you to use it for your own personal pain and gain!" "But what does that mean?" Apple Bloom webbed at her trouble-stirring sister. "You'll see..." Applejack chuckled as she started a fire with her magic in her horn. "I want you three to have as much fun as you possibly can this day, for the apocalypse has finally started. Before the fun can start though...you have to burn your ideals without a sweat's notice..." "What the yeah, Applejack?!" Apple Bloom shouted at Applejack's crime. "Why would you want to destroy our ideals?!" "Your ideals were unprofitable deals in an attempt to procure crazy ideas!" Applejack hurled the hack theories. "They can not change the truth that we are all meant to become nothing when we die! We shall be absorbed forever in the eternal comfort of getting to be annihilated nothing when we die, so why don't we just live it up today!" "Could she be talking about...Mu?" Luna pondered like a note that got thrown away because it was addressed to the ruler of light with his name spelled backwards. "But that place is..." "But how are we going to live for the rest of our day?" the trio thought ahead to the present of the rest of their time. "LIKE THIS!" Applejack demanded love as she opened up the trio's sweat pores with her magic. She then glued a white robe to herself (it was designed for someone with two arms, not four), and got out a paper shredder and a boombox. She threw the million dollars into the shredder, reducing it to little green stuff lacking in description. She then teleported the green stuff inside of the Cutie Mark Cursaders' mouths and all their holes, including their pores. "Ha ha, I know you're gland as gold to see me, but you don't need to be so sweet!" Applejack adored the obvious as she started playing the song "I'm Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO (she stole it from the human world before the flood so she's not a nonsensical pirate) on the boombox. "But at least you're not as dull or wooden as a fire pole!" she declared as she got on the fire pole that was the support beam to the house that supported her weight. "Now let me show you some of my sweet moves on the straight up to the sky earth stallion!" "OOH...EVERY DAY I'M STRUGGLING!" Applejack started to swing around on the pole and show the Cutie Mark Crusaders her robed body. The poor fillies didn't know what was hotter, the uncomfortable tension from the suggesting dance moves, or the fire consuming everything. As their bodies began to sweat, their pores were blocked by the sweat soaked money, and they began to swell. Since the Crusaders couldn't talk, and they knew this would be the end, they had a gibberish conversation as they flashed the money in their mouths to each other. Because Luna was five years old and could translate gibberish, she overheard the delightfully cryptic nonsense about how they did not regret being misfits and that the reason they sat next to Luna in class was because they could actually tolerate her. "*sniff*" Luna the moon cried happily. "True tolerance begets love...Sorry I couldn't save you guys...it looks like this is the end..." But it wasn't too late, as Big Mac wondered why there was smoke coming through the basement when the fire was supposed to be outside, so he came to check on Applejack. "Hey sister, there isn't a fire in here too is there...What is going on in here?!" Big Mac shouted as he saw what was going on. "Why are the moon and stars in here, it's daytime! And Applejack, why are you in clothes torturing those children! They look like they're about to explode!" "This is what it looks like," Applejack replied trying to talk her way out of this, "It's just your perception that's off. We're just having a tea party with money instead of tea leaves!" "You leave my sister and her friends alone before I get tea'd off!" Big Mac yelled as he got out his mechanical pencil and pointed it at his sister Applejack. "I'm not afraid to use this anymore!" "NO! NOT THAT!" Applejack got scared as she got off the pole and backed up against the wall. "We're already under fire! If you fire any of that at me you could..." "I've learned from my mistake..." Big Mac remorsed, knowing that he was the one who started the fire when he got too passionate about his magically enhanced mechanical pencil (hey, they can be pretty dangerous. Some schools don't even allow students to use them at times!). "You must be stopped, Applejack!" "I may be a robot alicorn now, but I'm still your sister!" Applejack pleaded. "Please don't..." "It's too late..." Big Mac made a rebuttal. "To stop you, I must ERASE THE FUTURE!" And with that, he fired lead bullets from the pencil at Applejack's head, which Applejack dodged. They bounced off the wall and hit the moon. "Woah woah WOAH!" Luna accidentally mooned the ground with her face as she lost touch with gravity levitation, and rolled on the ground towards Applejack like a sign of finding treasure in Indiana. The moon hit Applejack, and she was crushed to pieces as Luna's transformation spell was undone. Applejack was undone and done for, but the Crusaders were about to explode! "NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!" Luna cried as she rushed towards them but it was too late, as the Cutie Mark Crusaders exploded into a mess of sweat and green stuff pus. "THAT MURDERER! SHE PISSED THEIR LIVES AWAY!" "No..." Applejack said with her last breath. "I just wanted to help the children." "No sister," Big Mac told her, "You are the only true child here." And then Applejack was nothing but the parts of many things that had departed. Luna walked over to the dead robot body, and out of her foreboding child curiosity, noticed that there was a small chip that fell out of Applejack when she was crushed. "She may have been a bad pony and a bad machine..." Luna looked over sadly, "But she deserves to be disposed of properly!" So Luna grabbed Applejack's remaining parts and flew into outer space. She then flew towards the sun, and hurled Applejack's machine body into the sun like a superb nerd who found the trifactor of the fourth day of the week. "Ashes to ashes, and the sun created dust..." Luna looked sadly again as the perspective switched back to her talking to Celestia. "And worst of all, I never saw Big Mac or any of my friends after that...isn't it sad?! And that was my day." "You crushed and threw..." Celestia said as parallel to a mad skit about a bird as could be. "...one of my machines...a part of my blood, tears, and sweat...INTO THE SUN, A PART OF ME..." "At least we can both relate now!" Luna empathized. "We both had a part of us taken aw...WWWAAAAAYYYYY!" "Come with me! Come with me!" Celestia demanded Luna to come as she grabbed her by the left ear and dragged her to a room. "Instead of getting rid of you for a while by sending you to school, I'm just going to educate you about the meaning of darkness!" "Oh no..." Luna recognized the dark room as her bedroom as Celestia opened the door. "Please not that..." "Enjoy your dream darkness!" Celestia said throwing Luna into the room, as she had confiscated her Dream Lites. She then cast a spell to make the room an anti-magic room so Luna couldn't even illuminate the room to find a light switch, and locked the door. "No...please LET ME OUT!" Luna pleaded. "My nightmare friends aren't going to enjoy this!" "You're five years old, so you can start acting your age like a twenty year old!" Celestia asked for what could not yet come. "However...I will let you out if you do me a favor..." "Heh heh, I've already ordered my next little invention to be sent out..." Celestia laughed as the Rainbow Dash robot had already been given her orders to send some ponies to a special place. The Ending of Luna's Scenario.