//------------------------------// // A Very Clever Mare // Story: Least Faithful Student // by Dexter Helix //------------------------------// Books... Books... Where had she put that book? It was on her desk still, wasn't it? It was probably still there. She could get it in the morning... Morning? It was morning! A dreary Twilight rolled out of bed — three hours of sleep hadn't exactly made up for the 20-hour day she had just gotten through with. Fortunately, Ponyville wasn't big on reading, and her library rarely saw any customers, she could probably take a nap later after getting through her morning responsibilities. First, though, she needed to make sure that book was safe. She trotted down the stairs and had a look at her desk. The book was gone. "No... no... no no no no no no no no NO!" Again, Spike's slumber was interrupted by Twilight. "What is it this morning?" "My book! I left it right here on my desk! What if somepony found it and took it? If Celestia found out she might banish me forever! I need to get it back and—" "You mean this one?" Spike asked, pulling a damaged book from the shelf. "I know how you hate having books left out, so I put it away for you last night. I dropped the bookmark back in where you left off." "Thank you, Spike," Twilight squeaked through intense hyperventilation, "But I'll need to hold onto that book personally. It's very important, you see." Twilight levitated the book to herself and carried it upstairs. She couldn't risk a scare like that again. She cast the strongest cloaking spell she could muster on it and slid it under her bed. As she came back down the stairs, Spike was eying her suspiciously over his breakfast. "So, have you even gotten started on that report Celestia assigned to you?" "Report?" Spike groaned. "The one on the founding of Equestria and its principal cities? Don't tell me the most organized pony in Ponyville forgot her only assignment!" "Oh! Of course I've gotten started. How could I forget something so important?" "That's funny... You haven't even finished all the items on your pre-report checklist. Also we're out of ink." Spike said as he emphatically shook the ink jar upside-down over the floor. "Oh... heheh... uh... I guess I have been procrastinating a little bit... What's next on the list?" "Well, we have to head out to the marketplace and grab some quills, ink, parchment... the usual stuff." "Right... Thanks for keeping me on track, Spike. You really are my number one assistant!" "Speaking of which, today is Monday, which means you need to update the checkout status on all the books." "Why bother? There's only one book checked out anyway..." "Yeah, but it's overdue!" "Oh, Rainbow. She's always forgetting to renew her checkouts. Just go ahead and put another week on it." "Honestly, how long should it take a pony to read a Daring Do book?" "Spike, that's not nice. They just don't practice reading a lot in Cloudsdale schools. It's not her fault she was born there." A pegasus filly on a scooter was quickly moving away from the marketplace, towing her friends behind her in a red wagon. "It's definitely a lucky rock. I'm sure!" Sweetie-Belle exclaimed "Ah'm tellin' ya, t'ain't no such thing as a lucky rock." Applebloom objected. "Then how come I'm so much better at magic now?" "Better? You were supposed to be using your magic to help us find stuff under the dirt," Scootaloo complained, "Heck, we found more stuff diggin' at random than we found where you pointed." "But I did find something!" "What?" the other two fillies asked in unison. "My lucky rock!" Scootaloo stopped her scooter abruptly and pressed her face into her hoof, while Applebloom tilted her head back and let out a hearty sigh. At that moment, the trio noticed Twilight headed up the path towards them. "Hi girls, did you have any luck with paleontology?" "Nah," Applebloom replied, "We just found a few boring old rubies and a weird rock." "And no cutie marks," Sweetie-Belle added. "Did you say rubies?!" "Sure did!" Scootaloo exclaimed, tossing one to Spike. It was hard to hear over the loud crunching of gemstone, but he did manage to squeeze out a 'thank you' between bites. "Hey, maybe your special talent could be generosity, just like Sweetie-Belle's sister!" "That's not Rarity's talent, dummy! She's good at making things pretty." "That's not what Applejack told me, dodo!" "I thought her talent was finding gemstones." "Oh shut up, you guys don't know anything about my sister!" "Girls!" Twilight yelled, attracting everyone's attention, "There's no need to call each other names." "I'm sorry... I just... I don't know. I'm sorry I called you a dummy, Apple-bloom." "And Ah'm sorry I called you dodo..." "Anyway Twilight, I just wanna give you back your archaeology tools." "Thanks Sweetie-Belle. Do you girls know what you're doing next?" "Yeah, what are we gonna do next?" "We were gonna go over to Dinky's house to ask her mom about her cutie mark." "Alright girls, you have fun with that. I need to head up to the market." Twilight and Spike continued along the trail towards the marketplace. "Dinky's mom? You mean the mailmare?" Sweetie-Belle asked. "Yeah, I think so." "But her cutie mark is a bubble! That doesn't even have anything to do with mail!" "Nah-ah, it's a bunch of bubbles!" "That still doesn't make sense." "Of course it makes sense, it's her cutie mark isn't it? I mean, if you knew everything about cutie marks, you'd have one by now!" "Harsh, Sweetie-Belle." "Well, it's true!" "C'mon, let's just go ask her. Her house is just over that hill." Derpy's home was a bit of an odd place, with a poorly manicured lawn and an ad-hoc extension built on to the side. Random heaps of junk were scattered throughout the yard. A shed out front had 'mail' sloppily painted across the side. There was no doubt it was the right house, but the crusaders started to wonder if this was the right pony to be asking advice from. Before they could decide whether to stay or go, Dinky appeared at the front door. "Hey guys! Come on! Mom's waiting!" The crusaders gave doubting glances at one another. "Come on," Dinky repeated, "we've got fresh muffins!" "That's all the motivation Ah needed!" said Applebloom, as she charged into the house, with the other two chasing after her. The inside of the house was just as strange as the outside... maybe stranger. Along with the normal furnishings of a home, the rooms were filled with strange metal boxes, covered in gauges, knobs, and flickering lights. Glassware of all shapes and sizes lined the walls of the kitchen, and jars of different colored liquids filled shelf after shelf in what must have once been a dining room. A muffled voice called from the back "Sorry, it's a bit of a mess. I'm not used to having guests!" The three fillies peered around the doorway to see a round metal face with big, red, eyes coming straight for them. They started running for the door, which was locked. Dinky giggled. Nearly petrified with fear, the crusaders looked behind them, only to see Derpy removing a strange mask from her head. "Oh my, I didn't mean to scare you!" With a collective sigh of relief, they cautiously moved back into the middle of the room. Scootaloo rubbed her left foreleg with her hoof. "I wasn't really scared, ya know." "Was too!" "Was not!" "Oh you were both scared." "This is stupid, let's just ask her already!" "Oh yeah, um, Miss Hooves, Ma'am, would you mind telling us the story of how you got your cutie mark? Please?" "Oh, absolutely! Come, sit down!" The fillies followed Derpy into the next room and sat down in front of her. "So... Well ever since my childhood, I've never been quite like other pegasi... I don't much like flying. You probably can't tell, but I have a bit of a vision problem... No depth perception." "You don't say..." "Sweetie-Belle!" Apple Bloom protested, nudging her friend with her elbow. "Sorry." "Right, well, anyway, if I can't tell how far away things are, it's hard for me to fly well. My dad was a pegasus, and it was really important to him that I learned to fly. My mom and older sister were both unicorns so... well I was sort of his only chance to pass on his legacy. He did all he could to teach me himself, but my vision problem was too bad for him to overcome on his own. Eventually, he enrolled me in flight camp." Dinky was hanging on her mother's every word, though the Crusaders' attention was wavering. "I never wanted to go... I never understood why I couldn't go to magic school with my sister. I was so angry that she got to be a unicorn, and I had to be a pegasus. Whenever I could, I would read my sister's books and try to play with all the cool stuff she brought home from school. My father wouldn't let me do it, he said it was dangerous for a pegasus. That I might hurt myself. One day... Both of my parents were out of the house, and my sister was off at magic school... So instead of going to flight camp, I just stayed home sick. I spent the entire day playing with my sister's chemistry set. My dad was right... using the set with my hooves, and wings, and mouth— it was really dangerous. But I was living my dream. I was doing magic. And nopony could stop me." "This is the best part, guys!" Derpy giggled, and nuzzled her daughter. "Something happened that day, off at Cloudsdale. I'm still not sure what it was. There was this loud boom, and then a rainbow, far off on the horizon. I think it was an explosion at the rainbow factory, or something like that." She looked up and to the side, as if in deep thought. "Anyway, the glassware I was working with vibrated, just the right way, and these little bubbles started to form. Just out of nowhere! All at the same time, the bubbles all just shrunk up suddenly, and disappeared in little flashes of light. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Nobody believed me when I told them what happened, but... I know I saw it. I've been trying to do it again ever since then, but—" A strange male voice interrupted the story from the next room. "Derpy, I finished reviewing your math, it all checks out. I think the transducer is ready for another test run!" "In a minute, Dexter!" A pony's face peeked around the corner. He was a unicorn with a brown coat and a very short sloppy mane. "Oh, hello Dinky, I see you brought some friends over." "Yeah, they're trying to figure out how to get their cutie marks!" "Oh, well that's quite alright, Dr. Hooves, take your time, I'll wait until you're ready to proceed." "You really shouldn't call me doctor, you know I never earned my degree," Derpy replied. "Just because they never gave you one, it doesn't mean you didn't earn it. There are still ponies back at the academy would give their horn to share a lab with you." "You're too kind, Dex." "It's true! Pay attention to this mare, kids, you're talking to a genius." "Can we see the transgrouper thingie?" Apple Bloom asked, standing up as tall as she could, staring wide-eyed at Dexter. Dexter looked to Derpy for the answer. "I don't see why not. Just promise you won't touch anything unless I say it's okay. There's some dangerous stuff back there," Derpy warned. "We promise!" Derpy led the group into the far wing of the house. It had clearly been added on by non-professionals, as it lacked the beauty and craftsmanship demonstrated in the construction of most Ponyville homes, but it was a safe and sturdy structure. "Here it is, the magic transducer!" "It's a... metal pony?" "Nah, it's got wings and a horn. It's a metal princess!" "No it ain't, it's for wearin'." Apple Bloom strutted up to the transducer and gave it a thorough inspection. "Yeah, definitely. A pony gets inside it, and then..." She raised an eyebrow and turned to Derpy. "Then what happens?" "Well, there are three different types of pony magic, Earth, pegasus, and unicorn. This machine can convert between the three different kinds, giving any pony the abilities of another kind of pony. So an earth-pony can fly, or a pegasus can levitate objects. Or, at least it's supposed to. We haven't got it completely working yet. But I made some modifications and we're about to test it out!" Derpy nestled up into the metal frame, strapping her own head into place, stepping into the shoes, and carefully aligning her feathers into the wing-locks as Dexter clamped them in, one by one. "Alright, I'm all set, go ahead and initiate the pre-test procedure." Dexter manipulated the knobs on a box which was connected to the transducer through several cables. After a few seconds, a faint green line appeared across the top of a glass display. Dexter looked troubled, and played with the knobs for a little bit. "It doesn't make sense." "What is it?" "Sensor overload. It's indicating that there's more magic in the line than even the lowest sensitivity can display. That can't be right... I think we must have crossed a wire somewhere." "But that box measures up to a nanosol of magic energy, I know I can't be outputting that much power. It must be broken; could you go get another one from the dining room?" "What's a matter, mommy?" "It's okay, sweetie. One of my manascopes is broken. Dexter will be back with another one soon, and if we're lucky, you and your friends can see this thing in action!" "Does that mean I'll be able to fly?" Derpy smiled. "That's right, muffin. When the machine is done, you'll be able to go flying with mommy." "Yay!" Dexter walked back into the room after a moment, levitating a similar box. "Alright, this one works, let's give this a go. And... Oh for pete's sake." "What is it?" "It was just working in the other room, now it's doing the same thing as the other one. I haven't even plugged it in yet." "Strange..." "We'd better get you out of that thing, this could be a solar storm messing with the equipment. Might be dangerous." Everyone in the room wore the same disappointed expression as Derpy was unhooked from the transducer. "Oh well... I guess we'll try again when the equipment is working normally." "Thanks for coming over, Dexter." "Oh, the pleasure's all mine. Anyone would be lucky to have the chance just to see what you're working on." "You were the only one who ever understood my research anyway..." "Maybe... You should hear Maxwell giving your lecture on magic's effect on the strong force in hadronic interactions. It's bizarre that anyone actually believes he came up with it; you can tell he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about." Derpy tried rolling her eyes; one of them made it all the way around, at least. "Hey, but what does it matter if he knows what he's talking about, he's a unicorn, right?" "I'm still sorry for what they did to you." "It's not your fault. Besides... I can still be happy. Dwelling on the pain of the past is no way to live. Gotta stay positive." "Right." "Right." Derpy and Dexter stared at each other stupidly for almost thirty seconds before Dinky broke the silence. "Is Dexter going to be my new dad?" Dexter tried to reply, but instead blushed profusely and stuttered an incoherent string of sentence openings. Derpy recovered from the shock first, asking, "Why would you ask that honey?" "You seem like you really like each other, and... and... if he was your special somepony, he could make you happier!" "That's really sweet of you, Dinky, but right now Dexter and I are just really good friends, right? Besides..." Derpy bent down low, getting very close to her daughter, and continued very quietly, "The Doctor will always be your dad. He would come back right this second if he could, in a heartbeat. But sometimes events are fixed..." "And sometimes they're in flux..." Her daughter replied. "That's my little timelord," Derpy added, extremely quietly, kissing her daughter on the cheek. "I mean not that I— I don't mean that— But if she wanted— I don't wanna— I really like you but I don't want to like you any more than you want me to!" Derpy giggled again, and nuzzled Dexter's neck. "You worry too much, silly." Dexter blushed again, looking down and to the side. "Now, I think Dinky promised you girls some muffins. Come on, this way!" "Ah'm starvin'. I missed breakfast so Ah could go diggin' with these two crazy fillies." "Hey, archaeology was a really good, original, idea!" "It was original, Ah'll give ya that." Once the fillies had wrapped up their meal, and headed out with Dinky in toe, Derpy returned to her lab to inspect her broken equipment. Both manascopes were functioning completely normally by the time she returned. That would have to be one short solar storm, she thought to herself. "Interesting."