Chapter Six: When you get the Wrong Order
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Rarity was content that even if Twilight was emotionally destroyed, she was at the very least, not going to kill them all or turn them into her evil magically corrupted sex slaves. Or whatever other things an evil Twilight would probably do. Instead Twilight had found solace by surrounding herself in a square box made entirely out of books with only a small slit for her to look through.
Rarity wasn’t sure this was a good sign but it was an improvement. “Darling, do you plan on leaving there anytime soon?”
“NO! I am never leaving my fortress of literature. No force shall break these walls. Any who dare try will find themselves pelted by the unimaginable force of books!”
Rarity reached out toward the so called fortress only to have a book launched at her face at high velocity. Luckily for her it missed her eyes only hitting her in the forehead and knocking her flat on her back. Rarity stared up at the book now covering her face.
Rainbow Dash snickered. “So, is this what they meant by the pen is mightier than the sword?”
Rarity levitated the book off her face and growled in the direction of the book fort. “You are not getting this back.”
Twilight pleaded. “I need that! It’s my cannonball.”
“Just because it has cannonball in the title does not mean you can fling it at your friends with no warning.”
Twilight begged. “I’m sorry… please, I need that.”
Rarity let out a huff and levitated the book back to Twilight. “The next time you throw a book at me, I am more likely to eat it than return it, so do keep that in mind.”
Applejack cleared her throat. “Now that the threat of our world ending and/or apples being banned for an eternity or whatever an evil Twilight would probably do, we should talk about this here marriage.”
Rarity beamed. “Of course, we should make plans. It is our eternal happiness on the line and we will only get one chance for a perfect wedding.”
Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “EXACTLY! So this party has to be perfect!”
Applejack cut in. “Now hold up you two, Ah reckon not all of us are too keen on marrying the princesses. Ah know Ah sure ain’t.”
Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest and replied. “And I’m too awesome to be a princess, so uh… no. I’m going to be a wonderbolt, a hero, and a knight, not one of those things is a princess.”
Fluttershy squeaked out a response that probably meant no. Applejack added for her. “Ah take it she ain’t too keen on it either.”
Rarity looked at them. “Oh dear, this could be a problem. I don’t think we exactly have a choice in the matter, of course you could always attempt running away like Twilight suggested but do keep in mind that Luna can track you through your dreams.”
Fluttershy let out a quiet eep.
Applejack stroked the top of the head of the scared pegasus who was busy hiding her face behind her mane and doing her best impression of a flamingo hiding its head in the dirt. “There, there, Fluttershy. Ain’t nopony gonna force you to do anything.”
Rarity wanted to counteract that with the fact they were dealing with actual princesses that were borderline goddesses. They did not have a choice if the princesses so deemed it. Of course a lady knows something of tact so she chose another method. “I personally would love to marry them. They seem lovely and anypony who gets to marry them becomes a princess. Isn’t it a fairytale come true for any young filly? Well, Rainbow Dash aside.”
Applejack huffed. “Well that’s the issue, we ain’t fillies and not all of us are too interested in the idea of fillyfooling.”
Now Rarity knew that one was a bold faced lie but she’d cross that bridge when she got to it. For now… “Pinkie, please tell us why you’d like to be married to them.”
The pony was nothing if not excited as she jumped up. “It’s going to be the best marriage in all of Equestria, in like, forever! Plus we don’t just get the marriage we get the party! Not to mention the after party.” A devious look crossed her eyes as she licked her lips. “I’ve always thought they were like, totally hot as well. I mean have you seen the plots on those two, they're juicy!”
Rarity rolled her eyes. Of course Pinkie would be interested in-
“Oh and we’ll get access to as much cupcakes as we could ever eat. Imagine that!”
Well… at least that was a less revolting reason to marry the princesses, though perhaps not the most mature. Granted Rarity would not deny the princesses did have some succulent features, but that would not be her reason for marrying. Looking at Fluttershy she smiled and a plan came to mind. She knew exactly how to get all three of them to agree to this, at least for now until they had some time to think about it, with luck they’d be all be married before then.
Rarity walked over and took a seat in front of Fluttershy. She gently laid a hoof over Fluttershy’s. “You haven’t voiced your own opinion, Fluttershy, what are your thoughts?”
A tiny whisper, just barely audible managed to say the word, “Scary.”
Rarity gave a little laugh to help disarm the fear. “Fluttershy, these are the two most powerful, kindest, and gentlest ponies in all of Equestria. I think anypony who would call themselves their wife would be in a position to be the safest pony in all the world if they desired it. Who would dare try to scare you, what monster would even think about getting near you with the protection of both Luna and Celestia, not to mention an army of royal guards to keep you safe.”
Fluttershy’s eye peeked up through her mane. “R-really?”
“Of course. There is nowhere safer than under their wing. Literally in this case.”
Fluttershy blinked few times looked down and to the side as if thinking and then replied. “I-I think your right. B-besides… um… I’d get to be a princess right? M-maybe an alicorn princess?”
Rarity laughed. “How could they not desire to make you into an alicorn princess? I do not know how they would do so, but they managed to make Twilight into one somehow.” That or being vaporized by the Elements of Harmony did the deed, Rarity still wasn’t sure how Twilight become one exactly.
Fluttershy nodded and Rarity could almost feel a small smile underneath all that pink hair. “I… I’ll do it. B-besides, Luna is k-kinda c-cute, in a scary way.”
Rarity smiled and stood. She then looked at Rainbow Dash. “Honestly, I thought you’d be the first one to jump in on this. You are truly the coolest pony in Equestria are you not?”
Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof in the air. “Heck yeah I am.”
“Then can’t you understand why Princess Celestia and Luna would want to marry you! You’re too, how you say, awesome for them not to want you.”
“Well yeah… but I don’t want to be all girly and protected like Shy.”
“Rainbow Dash if you are a princess you can choose to be protected or to be a hero like none other. Think about all the times Celestia, Luna, or even Twilight have done amazing, heroic things. The epic battles, the kingdoms they destroyed or the ones they raised. And who, in their right mind, would even attempt to tell you that you couldn’t be a Princess Knight Wonderbolt!”
Rainbow Dash actually sat down and chewed on that for a moment.
Applejack raised her voice but Rarity cut her off. “The most heroic and famous of all Princesses of all time. The one and only Princess Knight Wonderbolt Rainbow Dash. You don’t want to be girly, say no more, I shall personally assist in the creation of a magical suit of armor and matching sword just for you!”
Rainbow Dash stood up. “You’re totally right! Why am I always so dumb, I didn’t even think about it. Celestia and Luna like, fought Discord, and Sombra and who knows what else. Of course I could be the most awesome princess. Count me in…. I also get to bang the two most untouchable mares in Equestria, who wouldn’t want that?”
Well… that was at least the right train of thought. Rarity next looked at Applejack. “AJ-“
“Nope,” Applejack cut her off. “You might be able to convince the others with yer tricks and manipulation but not me.”
“Money issues.”
Applejack’s mouth stopped and zipped themselves shut. Moments ticked by before she spoke again. “Now… Ah’ll have you know, even if money was ever a concern for the Apple Family, Ah wouldn’t marry just fer money.”
Rarity leaned over and placed a hoof on her shoulder squeezing gently. “Of course not, dear. There is another reason as well. You’ll get to marry me.”
Everypony fell silent for a moment and stared at the two of them. Applejack lowered her hat and spoke quietly. “Now, why would Ah want something like that? Ah don’t mess around with mares…”
“Oh, is that what you weren’t doing at my house late at night, every night, for over a year?”
Applejack growled. “Rares…”
“Listen here, and listen well.” Rarity sat down and pushed Applejack’s chin up so she could stare into those green eyes once more. “If you weren’t a part of this marriage, no matter how much I want to be a princess I would fight for my right to either stop it, or to force them to marry you too. I want to marry you, dear.”
Applejack’s eyes glistened and she bit her lower lip. “Then why didn’t you say so sooner?”
“I was waiting for you, silly. But the time is too late for that now. All we can do is work with the tools we are given. So let me ask you this once more in a way that might change your mind.” Rarity cleared her throat. “Will you marry me, Applejack. Marry me and the princesses?”
Applejack stared at her in silence for a long moment. When she finally spoke her throat sounded dry. “Ah… Ah can’t say no to that. It would hurt you… f-fine. Ah’ll… Ah’ll do this but Ah ain’t gonna like it.”
“Nopony said you had to like it. Once we’re fully married, I promise you I will give you more attention than either of the princesses, on pain of death or whatever they do to naughty fillies, I swear it to you. You’re my first and primary concern.”
Applejack lowered her head onto the floor and closed her eyes. “Ah reckon you’ll have a lot of work to do.”
“Of course. I have dresses to make before the end of the week.”
Rainbow Dash added in. “Can my dress be kinda cool, less girly?”
“Of course it can, I’m going to make sure all of our dresses match us properly. For you Rainbow Dash, I’m thinking an expansion upon your last gala dress. No armor unfortunately but, but, but… I could draw inspiration from the current project I’m working on…”
Applejack’s ears twitched. “Um… Rarity?”
“Y-yes?”
“Haven’t you been working for months on a set of wedding dresses? Two that are alicorn sized and six that are uh… inspired by us?”
Rarity swallowed. “I may have… I may have finished those dresses and sent them off to Canterlot and have received Luna’s approval of them just yesterday as well.”
Applejack looked up from her hat. “Ah think we already got our dresses.”
“I fear you may be onto something,” Rarity said while now realizing just how long this plan must have been in the making. In fact, she had an underlining fear she vowed to never mention in front of Twilight. The fact that she only started having dreams about Luna and Celestia after receiving the initial requests to make these dresses…
Rarity looked back at the fortress. “Twilight, dear… I haven’t asked your thoughts yet. How do you feel about the wedding?”
Twilight replied. “Not going.”
“And disappoint Celestia?”
There was silence. “Can’t she have a private wedding with me alone?”
Rarity smiled. “She could do whatever she wanted but I fear in this case she is following a law she can’t pull herself from. Besides, you’ll hurt Luna’s feelings as well, and if you do that, how will Celestia feel?”
“…bad…”
“Yes, Twilight, she would feel bad. So let me ask you again. Will you please join the wedding with us?”
Twilight was silent for all but a moment before asking, “I’m not sharing Celestia?”
Pinkie Pie replied. “Now that’s just greedy, I want some of that hot sun butt too!”
The cannonball was fired with Twilight making the sound of an explosion with her mouth. The book flew at Pinkie who caught it in her teeth and set it down to read. “Thanks! I was wanting to read this.”
Rarity glared at her. “Now what did I say? You are not getting that back missy!”
Twilight groaned. “But then they’ll be able to lay siege to my castle and take me away for marriage!”
“Twilight, that is just silly.”
“You’re right… I need to escape.” The fort fell down and Twilight sat there with a new set of attire. A pirate hat, sword, and even a small boat floating at her side, all made of various newspapers. Twilight took on an accent and declared. “Yar, I be setting sail for the seven seas and no empire can capture me. I be taking me princess booty with me you filthy scallywags!”
Rarity stared in dumbfound shock. Twilight had completely lost it. At least she wasn’t evil, or actively trying to run away. As she ‘sailed’ the ship around her head making ocean sounds as the boat rocked upon imaginary water, Rarity realized she was probably the only sane one left here. At least Applejack, Rainbow and Spike were getting a laugh out of it.
With a sigh Rarity walked over to Twilight’s desk, pulled a quill and ink pot from it along with a scroll. “Spike, I’m going to need you to send a letter soon.”
Spike nodded but was laughing too hard to reply.
Twilight stared at her for a moment before laughing. “Ye best be careful lass, for the owner of that there island is quite obsessed with their order, but we pirates crave the chaos of the open sea!”
Rarity began writing.
“Dear Princess Celestia
We are all looking forward to our marriages to you and Princess Luna, but I fear I have some ill news for you. Twilight has lost her mind and become a pirate, though I think she is still interested in the marriage, you may have to accept her mind might have been shattered. At least her heart is still here and thinking of you.”
She stopped there. This was going to be a much harder letter to write than she planned…