//------------------------------// // Part I, Chapter 4 - Confessions, Apologies, and Making Amends - Part 1 // Story: Fitting In Is Hard To Do // by origami //------------------------------// Spike had his head buried in a pillow and was bawling his eyes out. He had betrayed his newest friend in his time of need. That was never a good feeling to have, but worse yet was the thought that he would never be able to make amends for what he did. It was all too possible that he had destroyed the changeling's desire to have a real friend altogether. A knock on the door distracted Spike for a moment. He looked up and angrily shouted "GO AWAY!" before burying his head back into the pillow and resume sobbing. The door opened a moment later, and in walked the purple alicorn that the dragon could almost consider his mother. Twilight approached the bed, a sad look on her face as she saw her oldest friend and assistant crying his eyes out into a pillow. "Spike, everything's gonna be okay", Twilight tried to reassure Spike,"We'll find that changeling and make him tell us where he has Crystal Hoof." Spike stopped crying for a moment to look the mare in the eyes. He had a look of anger in his eyes, which were still full of tears that streamed down his cheeks. "No, you won't!" Spike spat back before burying his face again. Twilight's look had changed from one of sympathy to one of frustration. "Spike!", she scolded,"How can you be so sure we won't-" "BECAUSE CRYSTAL HOOF ISN'T A REAL PONY!" The dragon interrupted, shouting so loud the guards just outside the door could probably hear. Twilight looked at him with confusion. The dragon wiped his nose and explained what he meant. "When the guards and I were searching the wastelands earlier, I found Thorax. That's his name. I fell inside a cave and was searching it when I found him. He was trying to fool me by making me think he was my reflection in really shiny crystal, but his disguise faltered." "As soon as I saw him, I panicked. I turned and knocked myself silly on a stalagmite and then fell into a crevice. Thorax dove in and saved me. I couldn't believe he had done it at first, since letting me fall in would've been better for him. That's when I found out he left his hive in search of a friend, and has been searching all over Equestria for a friend, just somepony that will accept him for who he is and not run away from him because he's a changeling." Twilight looked at the dragon skeptically. His story was something she could not bring herself to believe, but there was one thing making her consider that it was true: Spike. He was a sobbing mess, and his reason for that was the fact he didn't stand up for the changeling in the throne room. "You're serious?", she questioned,"That changeling actually saved you from falling into a chasm?" Spike looked at her sniffling and nodded. "I told him I'd be his friend, and that I would do everything I could to help others see past the fact he's a changeling. BUT I FAILED HIM!" Spike put his head back into the pillows, sobbing and beating them with his fists. After a moment, he raised his head and added "When he needed me the most, I failed to stand up for him. I failed to be a friend when it mattered most. I'm not worthy of being called brave and glorious." He buried his head and continued sobbing. Twilight was conflicted upon hearing her assistant and surrogate son confess what happened in the wastelands. She didn't think he was lying, but the story he told her still seemed to farfetched to be completely true. Surely the changeling had set up some kind of ambush to create that situation and enact a plan to get close to her niece Flurry Heart. That had to be the reason, right? Spike had shown no signs of stopping his fit a crying, and nothing she said had seemed to provide him any comfort. Twilight decided to leave the dragon alone, since there wasn't much she could do at the moment to comfort him. As she left and closed the door, she ran into Heartfelt, who had a concerned look on his face. "How is he doing, Princess?" he had asked her. "He's still crying in his room", she answered,"He doesn't seem like he's in the mood to calm down and I can't provide him any comfort, so maybe the best thing to do for now is to just let him cry it out and then check on him in a little bit." She began walking back to her room, but her head was sinking lower. Heartfelt could tell that the princess was in low spirits. "Your highness", he called to her,"I can see something it troubling you. A bit for your thoughts?" Twilight paused for a moment before she decided to respond. "Spike told me a story that I can't really believe. Except, the story relates to his being distraught." She looked around at the guards and then turned back to Heartfelt. "Can we continue this in my guest chambers?" she asked him. "Whatever you wish, ma'am" he responded, following behind her as she walked down the hallway. === "So, princess", Heartfelt began,"What is this story Spike told you that you have doubts believing?" Twilight had taken a sip from a cup of tea sitting at a table in her chambers. "Well", she began,"It started when Spike went with the guards to investigate the wastelands outside the empire for the changeling. According to him, he fell into a cave that had gotten covered over with snow, and nearly fell into a chasm inside. After he recovered, he investigated the cave and found the changeling, but it scared him into falling into the chasm. Then, that same changeling saved his life and told him he wanted to be friends, and Spike believed him." Twilight took another sip of tea before continuing to speak. "I don't doubt that Spike would get as worked up as he is if he were lying, but what if he was being tricked into believing that changeling's story? I just don't know what to think or believe." Heartfelt sat across from the princess, considering what she had told him and what he knew. He saw and could feel just how distraught Spike was when Thorax's disguise failed and all the ponies in the room turned on him. He could also sense the regret in the dragon when he relented to the hate everypony else in the room felt for the changeling. In that moment, Heartfelt had his own feelings of guilt well up in him. "Princess, can I be honest with you?", he asked her,"Something that I would like not to leave these chambers for the time being?" Twilight looked up to him for a moment and considered his request, then nodded. Heartfelt took a breath, and then admitted,"Spike is telling the truth. I saw the changeling save Spike." Twilight looked at Heartfelt with shock. He had seen Spike being rescued by the changeling?! "Why didn't you tell anypony?!" she questioned him, her voice almost becoming the Royal Canterlot Voice. Heartfelt raised a hoof to calm her down. "Princess, you know EXACTLY why I couldn't just come out and say that. The guards here would've taken me prisoner and I would lose my job because I didn't report the changeling when I should have. But really, if I did tell anypony, no one would've believed me." Twilight took a moment to consider his words, and knew he was right. Not reporting the whereabouts of the changeling, a wanted individual by the guards, was a crime that would result in his arrest and loss of position in the empire. Plus, no one would have believed him telling a tale of the hero of the Crystal Empire being saved by one of ponykind's greatest enemies. Before she could respond, Heartfelt added another bombshell. "That's not all I have to say, princess", he continued,"I've also actually spoken with this changeling as well." Twilight was now well and truly floored. "YOU'VE SPOKEN WITH HIM?!", she yelled,"WHEN?!" Heartfelt raised a hoof to calm Twilight down. "NOT SO LOUD!", he harshly whispered,"It was before we brought him back here to the empire, and before you say anything, that was all Spike's idea. I tried to warn him against it." "Okay", Twilight responded, calming herself down,"So you spoke with him. What did he say, and why did you talk with him in the first place?" Heartfelt took a moment to gather his words. "As far as why, there's two reasons. The first is Spike; I agreed to do so since he's the hero of the empire and anypony here owes him a debt of gratitude for all he's done. Honestly, we owe you and the other elements bearers as well." Twilight blushed at the praise, still not used to being seen as a hero, even after all the adventures she shared with her friends. Heartfelt continued. "As for the second reason, it was more personal. By meeting with the changeling, I could test my theory about how they display emotional signatures." At the mention of the word 'theory', Twilight perked up. "What theory?" she asked him. Heartfelt gave his explanation. "Ever since the attack on Canterlot, I've been interested by changelings and what their kind are truly like. Unfortunately, all of the research has supported the claim that they are nothing but monsters that feed on love like leeches feed on blood. So, I decided to research a means by which to combat them. I came up with a theory that, since I can see emotional energy, and changelings absorb that energy, I might be able to devise an enchantment that would allow us to spot changelings and apprehend them before they can cause harm to ponies." Twilight digested this information but gave Heartfelt a stern glare. "While I can support your idea to help us deal with the changelings, your method of experimentation was extremely dangerous. Why not try and get an audience with the princesses to petition for one to be brought to you for study." "I've tried that!", Heartfelt exclaimed,"But the princesses denied my request. They said that the only effective enchantments they've found against them so far have been to keep them from feeding on the guards. Apparently, at the beginning, they were only safe to be around if they were unconscious or dead. I've even heard stories of changelings draining ponies walking by on the street outside the prison they were kept in. One moment, walking and happy, and the next a heap on the street devoid of any happiness whatsoever." Twilight flinched, recalling a story she had read about that sort of thing happening. Heartfelt continued talking. "It wasn't as though I went out there unprepared. I brought some weapons with me to deal with him if he turned out to be hostile. I might've gotten drained a bit, but it wouldn't have been a threat anymore." "And you would've gotten a citation from Cadance and Shining." Twilight added with a deadpan stare. "Princess, I am no glory seeker", Heartfelt countered,"What I do want is to help ponies as much as I can, and my special talent allows me to help heal their minds. It's every Equestrian citizens' duty to help wherever and whenever they can." Twilight took a small amount of pride in hearing Heartfelt declare his sense of duty. It was something she wanted to see of all the citizens in Equestria. "I'm glad you feel this way, Heartfelt", she commended him,"But I do have another question for you. Why are you telling me this now?" Heartfelt hung his head and replied "I honestly feel guilty that I didn't help Spike defend his friend. I knew what really happened and I didn't say anything, and it's because I was afraid of losing everything I've worked for in my life so far." Twilight could see and feel the remorse in the stallion's heart. She levitated a scarf over and wrapped it around her neck, as well as getting a cap for her head. Heartfelt took notice of this. "Princess?" he asked her. "How would you like to make up for your mistake?", she offered,"I still don't one hundred percent believe the story Spike told me, but I believe he isn't lying about how things happened in that cave. So, the only way I can know the truth is to ask that changeling myself. Do you know where I can find it?" Heartfelt looked at Twilight for a moment before replying "I might have an idea where we can start looking." === Heartfelt and Twilight had made their way out into the wastelands outside the Crystal Empire. In the few hours since Spike and Heartfelt had been out here, a snowstorm had whipped up and was putting fresh snow on the ground. Fortunately, it wasn't like the earlier storms and was for the most part tolerable. Still though, the ponies would've preferred being inside the magically protected empire's borders. "How far is this cave?" Twilight asked, a shiver traveling up her withers. "Not much further", Heartfelt replied,"It's close to one of the rock outcroppings out here. We should be able to see it soon." The pair walked for another few moments before the stallion pointed to a grouping of rocks. "There!" he shouted. Sure enough, there was a hole in the ground next to the indicated rocks. Standing at the edge, both ponies could look down inside and see a slope leading to a crevice in the floor, along with some stalagmites sticking out of the ground. Both ponies carefully made their way inside. Twilight was amazed by the features of the cave. Taking a quill and some parchment from her saddlebags, she began to document what she was seeing. Heartfelt began to examine the environment for signs of Thorax. He made note of several tracks that were unmistakably from Spike and Thorax, but he saw that a set of tracks had been made inside some of the older tracks, which made their way over towards the chasm, right up to a stalagmite Heartfelt could see was emitting and drawing in emotional energy. "Thorax", he called out to it,"I know you're that stalagmite over there by the chasm. Please change back and talk to us." The stalagmite flashed a green flame and revealed Thorax, who was wearing an angry scowl. "LEAVE ME ALONE!", he shouted at them,"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED RIGHT NOW?!" Heartfelt could hear the hurt in his voice. "Thorax, please", Heartfelt pleaded to him,"We just want to talk." "Yeah, talk", Thorax spat back,"What do you want to talk about? What you're gonna do with me once you take me in? The kinds of torture that the guards are gonna use on me?" Twilight was taken aback by the accusation. Sure, she wasn't happy about the changeling in the throne room, and certainly was cross with him in regards to getting so close to her infant niece, but she had never considered enacting torture upon him. "Or maybe you had something else in mind", Thorax continued, his words dripping with venom,"Perhaps elaborate on commissioning a new guillotine for my execution? Or perhaps a gallows?" Those last two remarks struck a nerve in the mare. Death sentences were abolished in Equestria even before Celestia and Luna came to power. The notion of one being carried out now nauseated the mare. Even worse was the fact that this changeling believed that they would perform such a heinous act against him. She began to wonder if the changeling race as a whole expect this same kind of treatment. "No, I'm done talking!", Thorax continued,"I got nothing else to say! I'm leaving as soon as the snowstorm is over, so you don't have to worry about the empire, or the filly princess! Oh, and you can tell that turncoat dragon of yours that I don't want to see him ever again!" Thorax turned around and sat back down, sobbing as he did his best to ignore the two ponies behind him. Both Twilight and Heartfelt stood there for a moment to process the situation. For Heartfelt, he had regretted his earlier request. He was too worried about reprisal from the prince and princess to see that there was someone that needed his help. Now, that same individual had pretty much thrown away any and all hope of finding the one thing they truly wanted, and he could've acted to help them and chose not to. Twilight also felt a bit of shame. She hadn't expected the changeling to believe that ponies would do such horrible things to them if captured. A part of her wondered what she could do to fix that, while another argued whether she should leave it and let that serve as a deterrant for future attacks. She shook the thought from her head as she decided to go ahead with her plan earlier and figure out if the story Spike told her was the truth. Her steps were cautious and slow, trying her best not to disturb the changeling sitting by the chasm. She looked at the tracks that she could easily tell were the oldest and belonged to Spike. There were clear signs that he had slid down into this cave and was trying to grab something to slow himself down, right up to a stalagmite that had several claw marks in it. Thorax turned his attention to the princess as she investigated, not knowing at that moment that that was what she was doing. He was going to make some kind of snide remark, but he kept it to himself. There was a small possibility that she may very well let him go and he didn't want to ruin that. Twilight looked around and saw where the tracks Spike made had wandered over to an opening in the wall. "That must be where he encountered this changeling" she thought as she looked around at the ground. There were two sets of claws on both sides of the opening, and looked as though they mirrored one another. All the evidence that Twilight had seen so far felt like it should confirm Spike's story, but it could all still be dismissed as an elaborate ruse and the dragon possibly having a false memory induced by panic caused by the changeling. In her mind, she still had every reason to doubt the story about the changeling. Until she saw the scales. It's not a commonly known fact, but dragons and avians share a fair number of common ancestors on the evolutionary family tree. Because of this, some traits in birds are present in dragons, such as certain vocalizations. One trait, however, is something that is seldom used by dragons but commonly used by birds: The mid flight molt. When distressed by a predator pursuing them, birds will enact a defense technique in which they will rapidly shed feathers from their body in an effort to disorient their pursuers and buy themselves time to escape. It's been seen in birds in the Everfree forest where unregulated weather will sometimes allow a tornado to randomly spin up, with the birds unfortunately being caught in them. Dragons still have this trait, and will sometimes have it happen involuntarily, most often in life or death situations where panic overtakes them. In this instance, Twilight saw a collection of purple scales not only at the edge of the chasm, but coating the walls going down into it. "There's no way that changeling could've faked that." she concluded, and then turned to face the changeling. "Thorax, right?", Twilight began,"I know you're upset, but I want to ask you a question. Did you really save Spike from dying earlier today?" The changeling scoffed. "Yeah, I did", he answered,"But if I knew he was gonna chicken out when I needed him most, I might not have even bothered." "Do you really mean that?", she prodded,"Would you really have let him die?" Thorax looked at the princess, noticing the slight amount of water in her eyes. "No, I wouldn't have", he admitted,"As much as I hate him right now, I still wouldn't have let that happen to him." A flash of purple startled Thorax and he soon found himself wrapped in fur covered limbs and feathery wings. He looked down to see the princess of friendship with her face buried in his chest, light sobbing coming from the mare. He was so taken aback by the situation that he didn't immediately respond. After a moment of so, Twilight loosened her grip on him and was face to face with him, tears having fallen down her face. "Thorax", she began shakily,"There are so many things that I want to say to you right now, but I'm going to start with the most important one: I'm sorry." "Princess?" was all Thorax could think to say. A princess of Equestria, a being that had every right to hate him and want him dead, was apologizing to him. Twilight continued. "Thorax, when you came to this empire, you did so with kindness in your heart and a desire to live peacefully with our kind. But when you finally got the chance to extend the figurative olive branch, the ponies you offered it to did what amounted to spitting on it and you. They decided to make their judgements based on what they saw and not because of who you are. That action is an example of one of friendship's biggest enemies: prejudice." "And now, after realizing that, I have to admit that I feel very ashamed of myself. I bought into that same prejudice earlier and didn't even think to give you a chance to prove yourself. It hurts me worse than it would hurt the average pony because I'm the princess of friendship, the very pony that should've been trying to make friends with you from the start!" Twilight stopped for a moment to wipe the tears away from her face before she looked at Thorax with a great deal of resolve in her eyes. "Now that I know what I know now, I intend to fix this mistake." She then offered Thorax a hoof. "I know I didn't give you the warmest welcome when we first really met, when your disguise failed, but I want to make up for that now. You saved my friend, and losing him would've been one of the worst things to ever happen in my life. I cannot begin to express to you the gratitude I feel towards you for saving him, but I promise I will do whatever I can to help you reach your goal. Thorax, will you be my friend?" Thorax was speechless. The princess of friendship wanted to be friends with him? And she was thanking him for saving Spike? And she personally promised that she would help him to be seen as a friend in Equestria. A smile crossed Thorax's face as he shook his head, causing Twilight to give him a confused and worried look. "Princess", he began,"You know there's only one true way to accept friendship." Before Twilight could ask what he meant, the changeling grabbed her in a hug, which made her smile and return it. "You know Thorax", she said to him,"You taught me a valuable lesson about friendship today. But right now, you just taught me another." Hearing this, Thorax began laughing, and was joined by Twilight as she laughed herself. They sat there for a few moments laughing before a cough caught there attention. Heartfelt had walked over to the two and was rubbing a hoof on the back of his head. His expression told them he was gathering his words. "Um, Thorax", he began,"I want to apologize too. When you needed help earlier, Spike wasn't the only one to fail you. I did too. I know I asked you not to include me in that plan, but that was wrong of me. I was too worried about the ramifications of what Princess Cadance and Prince Shining would think that I didn't want to be seen as a sympathizer that deserved to be punished." "Well, I don't care what happens to me now. I should've been a friend to you from the start, and I intend to be that from now on. Can you forgive me and let me be a real friend to you?" Thorax thought about it for a moment. Twilight answered for him. "If he's gonna go back to the Crystal Empire and plead his case, he's gonna need all the friends he can get." Thorax looked at the princess with confusion. "You want me to go back?" he asked her. Twilight nodded. "You deserve the chance to show them that you really are good and deserving of a chance to make friends. Besides that, you probably can't go back to your home now. They'd put you in prison, or maybe even worse, right?" "Yeah", Thorax admitted,"definitely worse." "Then you also are a case to be considered for asylum, which means that you'd be allowed to stay as a protection from undue punishment carried out for political reasons. The princesses would not allow you to legally be taken from Equestria and returned to the changelings." Thorax blinked in disbelief. "They'd protect me?" he asked her. Twilight blushed slightly. "Well, yes", she answered,"but you'd have to actually be granted asylum first. To do that, we need to make your case for it, which means going back to the Crystal Empire and making my brother and sister in law listen to you." Heartfelt became uncomfortable hearing this. "Are you sure that's a good idea?", Heartfelt asked,"I've been treating the both of them ever since they took over the empire, and they've both had a hard time moving past the incident in Canterlot at their wedding, especially Prince Shining. I don't think they'd be the best ponies to ask about granting asylum to a changeling." "Which is why he needs friends to support his claims", answered Twilight,"You and I count as two, but I know where we can get one more." "And where would that be?" Thorax asked the princess. "I'll show you", she replied to Thorax,"I believe there's someone that owes you an apology."