//------------------------------//
// The Death Wagon 
// Story: Tales from the Rift 
// by Fonzie 
//------------------------------//

"That'll be 30 bits please." Flam said the the pony who was eyeing a red sedan that was on the used car lot. He gave him the money and proceeded to drive off with his new car.

Once he left, Flam made his way to the garage, where his brother Flim was waiting, "did he fall for it?", he asked.

"He sure did." He said, showing him the bag of bits. "For a pony who's in high school, he sure is easy to fool."

"By the way we got some new cars, they just arrived yesterday."

"That's great." Flam said, "let's take a look." Flim opened the door to the garage and there they were.

The new cars were a Delorean, a Chevrolet Camaro, a BMW, 3 mini coopers, an Aston Martin and a Shelby Mustang. The two brothers smiled at each other, and went to work, with Flim checking the vehicles for anything wrong.

"The brakes in the BMW and Camaro are bad." He said, "It probably needs some hydraulic fluid."

"That's too expensive, put in some water."

Flim then motioned to the next pair of cars, "there's also a broken axle on the delorean and Aston Martin."

"We can just weld them together and it'll be alright, if they don't go over any speed bumps that is."

He motioned to the last few cars "We also need a new steering assembly for the mini coopers and Mustang."

"Just wrap it together with wire, that should hold it until we sell it."

Yes, these two know every trick of the trade when it comes to cars, they didn't waste any of their money on needed parts for the repairs, because they plan to use the money for their resort in Las Pegasus.

But one day, things were different...

"Looks like we got our first customers for the day."

"You keep them busy, I'm still working on this car."

Their first unfortunate victims were two griffons named Elton and Cassie, they were looking for a car just for the sole purpose of showing off to their fellow griffons. That's when Flim showed up and worked his magic.

"Now this isn't just any BMW." He said, "this happens to be the vehicle used in the Con Mane movie 'Tomorrow Never Dies', and it's all yours for an easy payment of 50 bits."

And so, the two bought the vehicle and prepared to drive home to show off their 'fancy movie car', however, they weren't the only ones on that fateful day, a trio of robbers, disguised as your average citizens, arrived looking for getaway vehicles to use in their upcoming bank heist, the trio consisted of a pony, a dragon and another griffon.

"These 3 coopers are quite fast for their size, they can practically take you through the streets of ponyville in a matter of minutes. They're just 30 bits each."

And so the three bought the mini coopers and made plans for the heist, and then there was a pony known by some as salespony Sam, he wanted a car that seemed good for business.

"Now this Camaro is just right for business, whether it's on the road or not, it'll cost you 90 bits."

He bought the Camaro and set out on the road, there was even a factory worker who wanted to take his family on a trip for his day off.

"With this Aston Martin, you're family should have the vacation of their lives, it's your for just one easy payment of 50 bits."

And so he bought the Aston Martin, and prepared for the trip, after him was a movie fanatic who wanted an authentic car for his collection of movie vehicles.

"Now this Delorean happens to be the one used in the first 'back to the future' movie. It'll cost you 49 bits."

He bought it and prepared to add it to his collection, finally there was a notorious gangster, who was looking for a tough looking car for a drive by.

"Now this Mustang isn't much but it should be good enough for whatever business you're dealing with. Just 60 bits and it's yours."

He bought it just like the other unfortunate ones. The brothers smiled at their latest success.

"It's good to be in business." Flim said.

"When the business is good." Flam finished.

However, things weren't happy for long. For a series of unfortunate events struck equestria.

The first victims were Elton and Cassie, they were on their back to Griffonstone in their BMW, but since watered hydraulic fluid won't work on the brakes, they wound tumbling down the side of a mountain.

But they weren't the only ones, the factory worker was the next victim, along with his wife and kids, they were driving home, when the rear wheel of their Aston Martin hit a pothole, thanks to the welded axle, and they would up tumbling off the road into a ditch.

Next were the robbers, they were making a getaway in their mini coopers after their unsuccessful bank heist, they split up so one or two of them would have a chance, but the wired assembly fell apart, one of them drove right into a truck, another crashed into the gas station, luckily he survived, but some electrical wires landed in the gasoline, setting it and the car on fire, as for the last one, he wound up driving into a railroad crossing, and the path of an oncoming train.

Salespony sam was next, he was driving to his first business stop in his Camaro, but the brakes didn't work, and he wound up driving into a deep pond.

The gangster was soon next, he and some of crew were successful in their drive by, until the steering assembly of the Mustang fell apart, and they ran into a brick wall, crushing a pedestrian and a homeless pony.

Finally the movie fan was doing a test drive on the delorean but like the factory worker, he hit a pothole thanks to the welded axle and he smashed into a nearby building.

A week after that terrible day, Shining Srmor, Flash Sentry and Vlad arrived at the car lot. The brothers knew they were in trouble the moment they walked through the door wearing armor and stern looks on their faces, but they tried to play it cool. "Can we help you guys."

"You can drop the act you two." Shining said, "you know why I'm here."

The brothers were worried, "y-you do."

"Yes, a series of car crashes happened across equestria last week, and the only clue we found was that the cars came from this dealership."

The brothers were practically scared out of their wits at this point, "just what makes you think we have faulty cars on this place."

"Yeah, how do you know it's not the drivers fault."

"Because my little sister is the princess of friendship, I can get her to issue a search warrant for every car you got here tomorrow morning." The three guards proceeded to walk out the door, but not before Shining turned to face the two with a death stare, "if we find so much as one flaw in one of these cars, you two will be banished from Equestria, or thrown in the dungeon. Or banished and then thrown in the dungeon in the place that you're banished to!"

The thought of that made the brothers feel like mice, and so when the guards left.

"What are we going to do Flim, tomorrow morning."

"That's a long way away." Flam said, pointing to a clock on the wall which read 8:30, "we've got some to fix the cars before they come back."

And so the brothers began to fix the cars, this time without any of the tricks they knew, they didn't care how much the worked seemed rushed, it would be worth it to avoid getting banished from equestria, or thrown in the dungeon, or getting banished and thrown in the dungeon in the place they were banished to.

But what the two didn't know, is that while they were ACTUALLY fixing the cars, an odd looking mob made it's way to the car lot.

On the left were Elton and Cassie, all ripped and torn from their tumble down the mountain. Right next to them were the robbers, one missing bits of flesh, another very badly burned, and the last in stitches after his date with the train.

On the right was salespony Sam, mashed and rotting, crawling with the slime of the grave, next to him was the gangster and his crew, as well as the bum and pedestrian , looking just as bad as Sam.

And in the middle was the factory worker, along with his wife and kids, moving in a single file line, with shreds of flesh falling from their mangled bodies, right next to them was the movie fan, who looked a little worse for wear.

Inside the garage, the brothers were working on a Nissan Sentra, but they litterally dropped everything when the door burst open and they saw their former customers.

That night, the only sounds that came out of the garage were the agonizing screams of two ponies.

In the morning, the three guards dropped by with their search warrant, but for some reason there no cars to be seen anywhere, not even a tire, but they noticed a light in the garage. Thinking the cars are in there they walked in, and what they saw made Vlad's eyes widen, Shining's jaw dropped down in shock, and Flash felt like he was about to loose his lunch. For the car they saw was truly a Flim Flam brothers car.

And why couldn't it be: the brothers skulls were in place of headlights, two red tongues replaced the windshield wipers, eyeballs were in the parking light sockets, severed hooves served as door handles, as well as the clutch, brake, gas and light dimming pedals, skin replaced the slip covers, blood was in the gas tank, intestines replaced the crank case and bones were used for the gear shift, steering wheel, spokes, piston rods and other structures.

Yes, this was truly a Flim Flam brothers car.