On the Road

by Smakleapp


Letter To Shining Armor

Dear Brother

Shining, I want to start by apologizing. For a lot of things. First off, well, the obvious. I just want you to know that she is safe. I would never let any harm come over Flurry. I don’t even know why I took her. I just, I don’t know, felt she could be a ticket. I mean, here I am, 25 years old and still a virgin, my teacher's pet, basically. I used to love that life, but now...I wanted something different. I would always listen to ponies, and since you know me better than anyone, I’m sure you would know about how much I love to speak and be the one ponies listened to. And it did not change when I became a princess. Orders were still barked at me. It was the same thing as a student except with wings and a better title. And so I saw Flurry as a way to start a life as a mom, I guess. I don’t know what I was thinking. My brain has not been this clear in days. I don’t expect you to understand that, and I know you're mad, but I’m trying to right this wrong before…I don’t know, I change my mind or something.

Second, I said some extremely hurtful things to my friends about them, you, and Cadence. I said before, my mind has been out of wack the last couple of days. I have not been thinking straight at all. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I don’t know what I have, honestly, but thinking about it more, it might just be common sense. I am the victim, Shining, I am. I’m the one that’s been oppressed by this society we call forgiving. A society that we say is based on understanding and friendship. Well guess what? I’ve been in that friendship boat for years now, I even have a student. And all it’s given me is pain, the pain of being kept from society. And I mean the real me. The real me that freaks out over everything, yes, I admit it. I am a little cuckoo, at least that’s what you guys tell me. But I’m not! Your imagination concocts a theory of me being at fault, being irrational. Well, I say I’ve been pretty rational! Rational when I’m forced to do things I’m not ready for, despite what others say. Some friendship when for years I’ve been forced to clean up problems caused by those ungrateful bitches, and then I’m the unreasonable one. And for the Princess to be so sure of me, no, of herself. She gives two shits about me, I bet. She doesn’t care, no, it’s her star pupil. Better raise her up right. Well guess what Princess. You failed!

Years and years of this shit, then when I break, everypony looks at me with those eyes, everypony judges me. Why did I do this and that or make this decision. Shining, I’ve been held to high standards all my life, constantly held to what people want me to be. I never had a chance to be Twilight. I was the Little Sister, The Star Pupil, and then the Princess. All of these characters I’ve been forced to play, and it’s all your fault.

...no, it’s not. It’s not anybody’s fault. I’ve sat here, furiously writing in this paper for practically no reason. We all know I’m not coming back. I can call myself crazy, or you crazy for all I want. But I can’t. I always freak out, but then I continue. Shining, I deserve this. And Flurry...I need her. I can’t go back, but I don’t want to be alone here. I promise I will take care of her, I do. I will. But I can’t go back to my old life, I don’t think I have it in me to go through another day of living a normal life. I miss my friends dearly, and I want you to tell them that.

Oh who am I kidding, you most likely won’t get this letter. But, while I’m at, I may as well continue. I want Rarity to know she is the most generous pony I ever met, with colorful witticisms, and just brimming with advice. Rainbow, you always make me laugh, even if you give me a headache at the same time. Applejack, you have proven to me how much hard work can do to help bring up a bright pony like yourself. Fluttershy. Your heart isn’t as big as your confidence, but if it was, I’m sure you would have all the stallions coming for you. Pinkie, you are always yourself, no matter how random that might be. Cadence, you will always be the best babysitter ever, and a great sister in law. Celestia, you have taught me so much, and have been like a mother to me. And Shining. You are my BBFF, and always will be.

I know this letter most likely didn’t make any sense. It’s ok, I guess, since you won’t ever see it. I’ll keep it for myself, I think. It reminds me you still exist. Thanks Big Bro and everypony. You’ve been there for me. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you.