It's already been a month and Craptrap found himself a job with three other humans to find some sort of treasure with another human named Joe. During that time, Craptrap was able to teach Derpy how to dance like a pro to which, not only was it impressive on how Derpy danced despite being a quadruped, but she was adorable doing the dances. Also, during that time, Derpy learned how to speak a lot more fluently, though she now had the tendency to yell 'Derp' whenever she snorts herself awake or when she loses concentration on something. Everyone was at work, though Fry was there first... sleeping on the desk with only his underwear on & with a blanket over his body as he laid his head on a pillow. An alarm clock went off next to him, causing him to wake up & reach over to turn the sound off, only to press down on Bender's Antennae.
"HEY!!!" Bender yelled. He turned off the alarm, but bended it and placed it on the ledge of the table.
"Fry, mon," Hermes spoke "if you're going to be living in the office, then you could at least on time for work." Fry grumbled as he sat right up.
"I'm sorry," he apologized "I was up all night poking through people's desks." He stood right up and walked away to get ready, rustling Derpy's mane. "Morning Derpy."
"Morning Fry." Derpy replied, adjusting her mane back to it's normal state.
"Alright people," Hermes spoke "I'll now outline today's 12 point agenda. We begin with point 1: we-" loud clanging interrupted him. Everyone turned to see Fry pouring a large bag of bachelor chow into a derpy's water bowl (an old dog bowl the professor cleaned after one of his dogs passed away after testing a dog-brand lipstick). Fry filled the bowl with water, then walked over to the table, taking a seat next to Bender. Hermes took a deep breath "Concerning our next problem; Somebody's been leaving food around and it's attracting owls! And for one am getting tired of cleaning owl traps!"
"And I'm tired of having a trail of owls following me!" Derpy added. At that moment, an owl landed next to Derpy, pecked through her mane, and pulled out a piece of muffin, flying away. "...Why was that in my mane?" Hermes pulled a remote, showing a chart on the large T.V. screen.
"Now, as this shocking graph indicates, our water consumption has tripled in the last month! I notice Fry has been here for the last month, so I'm appointing him as head of committee to find who's responsible. Fry!?" They turned to see the naked silhouette of Fry in the emergency chemical burn shower, humming himself a tune. "Am I the only one cracking up, but is Fry living here starting to-" The ship's engine whirred, and Fry was right behind the ship, blowing his hair dry. Leela ran up and pressed the emergency shut down button. The ship stopped and Fry's hair began to glow.
"What the hell are you doing!?" Leela asked in frustration "You're getting a huge dose of radiation!"
"And great lift." Fry added
"Ugh! Do you know long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?"
"Hey, when you look this good, you don't have to know anything."
"...I feel funny." Derpy commented as her coat and mane started to glow.
Everyone walked into the Professor's lab.
"Professor," Leela spoke. "We need to talk to you about Fry."
"That's right!" Bender agreed "We want some money! ... Wait, what's this about Fry?"
"He's a nice guy, but we feel it's time he gets his own place."
"Ha Fuff!" The Professor replied "He's not causing any trouble. Now if you don't mind, I'm rather busy; I seem to misplaced my alien mummy." He pulled out a small sarcophagus. "This sarcophagus should contain the remains of Emperor Nimbala, who ruled Zuban five over twenty-nine million years ago."
"It's empty." Derpy simply said.
"Hey Professor!" Fry spoke with his mouth full. "Great Jerkey!" He turned around and walked away.
"My god! This is an outrage! I WAS GONNA EAT THAT MUMMY!!! Fry has got to go!"
"Yay!" Derpy cheered "No more owls!!!"
Leela, Bender, and Derpy entered the break room, seeing Fry sitting down and watching T.V. Leela was the one who wanted Fry to leave & find his place while Bender was there, as Fry's friend, to convince him to leave while Derpy was there as a cute factor to push him out.
"Fry," Bender began "We've got to discuss your living arrangements."
"We've all talked it over," Leela added "And we think-"
"T.V!!!" Derpy yelled, interrupting Leela and jumping out of her arms, sitting on the armchair of the couch.
"All my circuits!?" Bender added. "Move over!" Fry lazily pushed the trash off the couch and moved over as Derpy jumped to the middle of the couch, leaving Bender to sit on his end. Both Fry and Bender rested their feet on the desk, both lazily relaxing now. Derpy tried following the two, but was only able to sit like a regular human, though this reminded her of something that may or may not exist.
"Fry," Leela continued "sometimes in close quarters, people do inconsiderate things without realizing it."
"I know," Fry replied, though not paying attention. "But I forgive you."
"No, Fry, by 'close quarters', I mean this office."
"Uh-huh."
"...And by people, I mean you."
"Right."
"And by 'inconsiderate', I mean-"
"Leela! We're trying to watch T.V."
"Yeah!" Bender agreed "Would you kindly shut your noise hole?"
"Which one?" Derpy asked. Bender and Fry laughed immaturely before calming down. Leela rolled her eye and walked away.
"Who's that weird looking one?" Fry asked as they watched.
"That's a human." Bender answered.
"What does he do?" Derpy asked
"Eh, usually human stuff. he laughs, he learns, he loves."
"Bo~ring!" Fry commented. They watched the channel, but the screen got smaller. "Hey, why's the T.V. getting small?"
"Are we growing!?" Derpy asked. With all three of them still on the couch, the rest of the planet express crew pushed them all out into the street.
"Sorry Derpy," Leela spoke "but I have something important to do. Have fun with Bender and Fry!"
"AW CRAP!!!" Bender yelled.
Bender, Derpy, and Fry sat together in their own booth in a 'Food-o-Mat', where all sorts of food, snacks, & drink were always moving on a treadmill in a 'first come first serve' way. Luckily, it was a Tuesday, and kids ate free on that day. Derpy enjoyed her own muffin as Bender pulled some light martinis off the treadmill while Fry poked at his large amoeba.
"Cheer up, Meatbag!" Bender spoke "You barely touched your amoeba."
"It looked good," Fry replied "but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?"
"Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol." He took a drink "The chemical fuel energy keeps my fuel cells in check." He pulled out a cigar and lit it up
"That's strange." Derpy commented.
"Well what are the cigars for?" Fry asked
"They make me look cool." Bender simply answered, taking a puff.
"I can't believe they kicked me out like that. I must've really been acting like a jerk." Derpy nodded.
"Yeah, but everyone's a jerk: You, me, her. That's my philosophy. So, where are you gonna stay?"
"...I don't know. Do refrigerators still come in cardboard boxes?"
"Yeah, but the rents are OUTRAGEOUS! Why don't you just come in and move in with me?"
"Really!? That'd be great! You sure I won't be imposing?"
"Nah, I've always wanted a pet or two."
"Three jerks and a pet!" Derpy cheered.
They entered a run downed building labeled 'Robt Arms Apts.', where everyroom was labeled with different combinations of 1's & 0's. They arrived to Bender's apartment, labeled 00100100. Whether just by luck or if she was really smart, Derpy though that combo as a dollar sign, quite fitting for Bender as he saw him pickpocket everyone at Planet express.
"Here we are," Bender spoke "Our new home!"
"Cool!" Fry replied "You know, I've never seen a robot's apartment before.
"Me too." Derpy added
"Well come on in, I'll give you the tour!" Bender opened the door to his apartment... which was about as big as a closet. Fry struggled to get in, placing Derpy on his head as he entered the super small room. When the door closed, Fry placed Derpy to the floor. "Let's see, where to start? Okay! This is the T.V. area, that over there is the breakfast nook, and over there is where you'll be staying, which is great cause it's been wasted space."
"It's kinda cramped in here." Fry commented. "I don't even have room to hang my clothes!"
"Look pal, you only have one pair of clothes, and you're not taking them off while I'm here."
"EW!!!" Derpy yelled "FRY STINKS!!! I want to sleep somewhere else!" Bender picked up Derpy and tossed her inside his his chest.
"There, now shut up! Well, goodnight."
"Wait!" Fry yelled "Bender! Bender!?" Bender began to snore. Derpy found Bender's chest to be surprisingly comfrotable, despite being a robot & was mean towards everyone. She walked to the operating gears inside Bender, placed her back onto them, and felt like she was getting a great massage. She soon feel asleep, allowing the gears inside to massage her as she slept through the night, not minding Bender's snoring and his ramblings about 'killing all humans'.
Both Derpy and Bender walked side by side, Bender whistling a tune to himself while Derpy dance-walked next to him.
"Well you're both so cheerful this morning." Leela commented.
"This past week with Fry has been a blast!" Bender commented "And I think Derpy may not be so bad afterall: my sensors can now indicate when a booze, smokes, and muffins are nearby."
"And Bender's chest is actually nice to me." Derpy added "I felt so safe within his gears... except whenever he drinks."
"Consider that an alarm." Bender turned and whistled away as Fry came in, his head crooked and hair messed up.
"What happened to you?" Leela asked
"Fry never showered nor has different clothes." Derpy spoke.
"OH GOD!!!" Leela pulled out a 'Shower in a can' and sprayed Fry with it. He luckily smelled better, though he didn't look well.
"You know you're standing at a weird angle." Fry commented. Leela grunted and snapped his head back in place. "Now you're okay."
"What's happened to you?"
"Fry has had a hard time in Bender's apartment." Derpy answered "He really can't get a good night's sleep."
"How do you know?" Fry asked
"I heard you grunt almost every second followed with a thump."
"...Huh. Smart Gal."
"Well I believe you've got to find yourself a new place to live." Leela said.
"Is that an invitation?"
"Not in a lifetime, buster!" Derpy yelled, standing on her hind legs and using her forelegs to shield her mother.
"Ugh, I love your optimism," Leela continued "but you've got to tell Bender you're moving out."
"Yeah, but he might get upset." Fry replied "I really don't want to do it."
"Hey! There's my little space heater and my little pony!" Bender teased. Both Fry and Bender laughed at the joke.
"...Fry's moving out." Derpy spoke for Fry.
"WHAT!?"
"Um... look," Fry spoke for himself "You're my best friend, but there's just not enough room."
"Not enough room!? My place is two cubic meters and we both only take 1.5 cubic meters! We have enough room for another 2/3 of a person!"
"Pwease Bendah?" Derpy asked, using her old talk. "Can you hewp Fwy find a new pwace to wive in?" She used her tactical 'Bambi eyes'. Bender cringed at the stare.
"No! Don't fall for it! Must... avoid... eyes! ... Ah screw it! Fine, but I have a lot of great memories in my apartment." He pressed a button on his chest. "And now they're gone."
"Well good luck to you three," Leela commented "The ship's engine still needs recalibrating.
12 hours later.
Everyone, including Leela, sat together in the break room. All three apartments they visited weren't great at all; the underwater apartment was attacked by a giant squid, the apartment that looks like a painting was too large and confusing to navigate (though it was funny to watch Bender fall everywhere), and the only good apartment was technically in New Jersey, not New New York.
"Not even one place remotely livable." Fry commented to himself.
"Oh, how awful." The professor commented on the phone. "Did he die at least painlessly? ... To shreds you say? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Well how's his wife holding up?... To shreds, you say? Very well." He hung the phone and turned to everyone. "Sad, sad, terrible, gruesome news about my colleague Dr. Nibutoo."
"Was his apartment rent controlled?" Leela asked
Everyone entered the deceased Dr. Nibutoo's apartment, lead by a strange old woman, who also had crossed eyes like Derpy, though she was much more crazier.
"Wow! This is beautiful!" Leela commented
"What's with all the crap?" Bender asked
"It's not crap!"
"Dr. Nibutoo collected this crap while exploring the watchamacallit... universe." The crazy old woman explained
"Well, this place has everything I need except one: A T.V." Fry spoke.
"It's got a T.V. you whatchacallit... idiot!" She pulled a hanging rug to show a T.V. right behind it.
"Whoah! Slow down!" Bender exclaimed "This place just doesn't feel like home. It just isn't... cozy."
"How about this?" Derpy asked, pressing a button next to a closet while balancing on a small ladder. The closet opened and Bender walked inside.
"Huh... I can barely move." He pressed on the button inside, the closet closing on him. "IT'S PERFECT!!!"
While Derpy couldn't stay with Fry & Bender as they redecorated the apartment, she went with everyone, getting a special gift for Fry. Following Hermes example, Derpy didn't want to show Fry her gift yet. Everyone came in to Fry's new apartment with their gifts ready; Hermes with his boxed present, Zoidberg with his smaller claws, Leela with her miniature fruit salad tree, Amy with a cake (though it fell on her face as soon as Fry tossed over a miniature banana peel on the floor), and the Professor with another small mummy (teriyaki style). Derpy was the last to enter, balancing her gift on her head.
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd show up" Fry spoke.
"Sorry Fry," Derpy replied "but dragging your gift wouldn't help."
"Aw, that's alright little filly. I'll take that off you." Fry took Derpy's gift off her head. Derpy trotted inside, seeing the place was filthy, but couldn't complain as this was his apartment and they were going to watch the wedding season finale of 'All my Circuits'. While the show was getting ready, Bender drank all of the beer.
"Wow! Heavy-drinking crowd!" Bender exclaimed before belching out fire. "I'd better go out for more beer."
"Hey, hang on, All My Circuits is about to start!" Derpy pleaded
"I know, but I need alcohol to power up my batteries. If Calculon's wedding doesn't go just right I'll be emotionally and electrically drained." He stood up and left. Fry turned on the TV but all that's on was static. He nudges the screen a bit and 'All my Circuits' began to play. Zoidberg passes around crab claws on a plate to everyone, to which, despite being equine & not having any meat yet, Derpy enjoyed the claws Zoidberg made himself, though Hermes upchucked at the news.
"The wedding's about to start!" Fry yelled. The yedding went well in the show until Calculon's half-brother interupted, beeping loudly. "Is he objecting or backing up?"
"Sounds like both." Derpy replied
Just as Calculon was about his secret, Bender came in and the screen cut off to static, making everyone groan. Fry stood right up and began to use his fist against the T.V.
"Hey, what happened to the TV!?" Bender yelled
"It just went out." Fry replied
"This is an outrage! I'm gonna go yell at the manager!" Bender stormed right out and the TV came back on, leaving everyone cheering.
"Come back, Bender! It's working!" Before calculon could retell his secret, Bender came back in and the TV cuts out again, making everyone groan again "It's out again."
"What!? That's the last straw!" The screen showed the show.
"It's back on!" Bender came back in with the woman and the TV goes out once again.
"Pardon me," she spoke "I don't mean to pry into what you're doing in here with the crab and the one-eyed lady and the Chinese girl and the stupid horse, but everyone on this floor is having trouble with their TV reception." Derpy growled at her comment
"Yeah!" Bender agreed "And you'd better get rid of whatever's causing it or we're outta this dump!"
"Relax, sonny. This kajigger'll find the source of the interference." She began pointing the scanner in her hands around the apartment, beeping slowly. She then points it at Bender's antenna and it beeps faster, but she keeps looking around, making her scanner beep slowly again. The other tenants come in and she points the scanner at Bender's antenna again.
"Oh, my God!" Amy exclaimed "Bender, it's your thingy!" All the other tenants yelled together.
"You people are nuts." Bender announced "My antenna never interfered with my old TV."
"You had cable," Leela explained "This is satellite.
"Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted on the same frequency." The professor explained
"Robots can think?" Derpy asked "I thought they were just like, well, robots."
"They're on my cell phone too." A woman in red said
"Madam," Bender retaliated "I believe you're mistaken!" She turns her phone on.
"Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!" Bender's voice spoke through the phone.
"Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat ass!"
"The robot has to go!" a flamboyant man spoke followed by everyone agreeing
"Well, you heard the mob!" The woman spoke, pushing Bender out
"Fine!" Bender yelled "Come on, Fry, let's move to that apartment that smelled like a sewer. You liked that one, right?"
"It's tempting, but, well, I am already kinda settled in here." Fry replied
"Or we could live underground with the mutants. A little fire'll show 'em who's boss!" Derpy laughed mischievously.
"Uh, listen, is there maybe some way we could do this with you going and me not going?
"I don't understand."
"Well, you were gonna live in the closet anyway. Won't you be just as happy back in your old place?"
"But... then we wouldn't be roommates."
"I'll come visit sometime. And you can visit me here."
"No he can't." The crazy old woman, who we'll call Hattie, added.
"Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out. This way we'll both be happy."
"...Happy." Bender said with a hint of sadness "Yeah, that's Bender... always happy." Bender walked out of the room and down the corridor. The TV turned back on, and though everyone was happy to see the show was back on, Derpy and Leela couldn't help but feel concerned for Bender, even if he was a jerk.
Everyone began to leave, each having a bit of a good time with tears about whether Calculon's evil twin will ever walk again... followed by Amy slipping on the same small banana peel.
"Hey, thanks for coming." Fry spoke, pressing on a button to close the door. Leela placed her elbow in it and forces it back open, followed by Derpy, both giving Fry an angered look.
"Fry, you're Bender's best friend! How could you let that mob kick him out!?" Leela asked angrily
"Ah, come on. Bender loves mobs."
"Only when he's in them and you know it."
"You really hurt Comfort Gear's feelings!" Derpy added
"Don't girl me with that girl stuff." Fry replied "Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have feelings."
"Bender's not a guy, he's a robot."
"And you both went D'aw over me!" Derpy added
"No we didn't!" Fry replied. Derpy turned around, putting on a small mail bag, a hat, and put an unmakred envelope into her mouth, adorably holding it. She turned around and purposely onto the floor, smiling and blushing at the same time.
"Aw, that's adorable." Fry commented. Derpy spat out the envelope
"Told you!" she yelled
In the next morning, both Leela and Derpy were fixing the ship with lasers. They stopped, seeing Bender walking into the conference room; He has orange rust around his mouth and his door is flapping open.
"Bender!?" Derpy asked, lifting her helmet up
"My God, you're a mess!" Leela commented. Bender ran into the lounge room, falling onto the couch.
"Leave me alone!" Bender said miserably
"Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?"
"Hey! What I don't do is none of your business."
"Please, Bender, have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you."
"I hate the people who love me and they hate me." Derpy jumped onto Bender's chest tapped on his shoulder
"There, there," she spoke "it's alright. I don't hate you at all. I may not like you, but I don't hate you."
"It's obvious you miss being Fry's roommate," Leela added "But there's got to be a better way to deal with this."
"Like how?" Bender asked "Having my antenna removed?"
"Well... if that would work."
"ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?!?" Bender practiacally jumped all her feathers off, jumping into Leela's arm and cowering "That's Little Bender you're talking about! I can't cut it off. You're both not a robots or men, so you wouldn't understand! I gotta get out of here!" He got up and drunkenly walked away
"Wait! I want you to look me in the eye and promise you won't get behind the wheel without some kind of alcoholic beverage in your hand.
"I promise nothing!!!" Bender ran away
"...He's scary without his booze." Derpy commented, still shaking.
Leela and Fry pressed the doorbell to Fry's door. It had been two weeks and Bender was gone; Derpy checked his apartment yesterday and he was gone, leaving only a broken beer bottle behind with it's liquid still on the floor. Fry opened the door
"What up?" Fry asked
"I can't just stand by and be silent about Bender anymore!" Leela exclaimed
"Silent? You've been meddling for two solid weeks."
"Well I can't just do that anymore! Your best friend is out there somewhere destroying himself."
"...Really? I didn't think he'd miss this apartment that much."
"He doesn't care about the apartment," Derpy snapped "He cares about you! And you turned your back on him you back stabbing son of a BITCH!!!"
"LANGUAGE!!!" Leela yelled
"Oh, man!" Fry exclaimed to himself "I had no idea! If only I knew where he was I'd go talk to him." he T.V. went to static. "Oh, stupid TV!" Bender entered the room, trying his hardest to keep his balance. Derpy squeaked and jumped into Leela's laps, cowering and using her wings to cover her face "Bender! You're blind-stinking sober!"
"That's right!" Bender rambled "I'm sober and crazy and I don't know what I might do!"
"Don't do it!"
"I don't know what it is yet! ... Oh, yeah, now I remember. I thought I could live alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do what it takes to be your roommate again." Bender opened his chest and pulled out a pair of clippers.
"Bender! Stop!" Leela yelled
"Cutting Leela and Derpy's heads off won't solve anything!" Fry added
"No, I'm going to chop off my antenna." Bender yelled
"Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give you a hand?"
"Fry!" Leela yelled "Don't help him mutilate himself!"
"WHERE'S HIS BEER!?!?!?" Derpy freaked out
"But it's a useless antenna." Fry replied "It's not like he's a ham radio or something." Bender backed up as he held the hedge clippers to his antennae
"I'm gonna do it!" He yelled "I'm really gonna do it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes!" Silence fell as Fry smiled. Bender sighed in defeat and cuts off his antennae, throwing it out the window. The TV comes back on, showing Calculon with Human Friend, who is in a hospital bed.
"Hey, it works! The static's gone!" On the T.V., both the human and Calculon talked to each other
"I hate that this came between us, Calculon." The human spoke
"Me too." Calculon replied "I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions."
"You're my best friend. I'm sorry I treated you so badly."
"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human." They hugged each other
"You guys could learn a lesson from those two." Leela pointed out, Derpy nodding with her,
"She's right." Fry spoke, sucking up his pride
"You're my best friend, Fry," Bender spoke, acting as the human "I'm sorry I treated you so badly".
"Apology accepted. After all, you're only human." They both hug each other. Derpy face hoofed herself with a sigh of anooyance.
"Wait a minute!" Leela spoke "You did it all backwards." Fry and Bender stared blankly. "Fry's the one who should be- Oh, never mind!" Fry and Bender laugh, but bender looks in a mirror and sighs.
"What's wrong?" Fry asked
"Nothing." Bender replied "I guess I'm just going to have to get used to being half a robot."
"Aw, this isn't right. Listen, Bender, if we found your antenna could they still reattach it?"
"Maybe. If we get it on ice right away."
"Ech, I'm on it." Derpy spoke, jumping off the couch. "Lean down, Bender." Bender followed. Derpy took some sniffs to his head and heads down the stairs. Everyone follows her as she sniffs for the antennae. Soon, after a few moments, outside and at the bottom, she found Bender's antennae "Bingo!"
Derpy, Bender, and Fry stood outside of Bender's apartment. Balancing on Derpy's head was Fry's miniature fruit salad tree.
"This time, you'll have all the human comfort." Bender replied "We'll get a couple of toilets, some food cookers, maybe a puppy."
"Ahem!" Derpy coughed.
"Oh, never mind the last one if she's going to be here for a bit." They entered the apartment.
"It's good to be home." Fry said happily
"It sure is. By the way, I saved your stuff." Bender opened up a small, metal box.
"So that's where those skin flakes went."
"How's the fruit tree's going to get enough light?" Derpy asked
"There's a window in the closet." Bender simply replied. He pushes a button and a door swings open, revealing a large living space. Both Fry and Derpy walk into it.
"This is huge!" Fry exclaimed "Bender, why don't I just live in here?"
"And why didn't you tell us!?" Derpy asked in anger
"You both want to live in a closet?" Bender asked "Oh, meatbags!" Before he could take a drink from his bottle of beer, Derpy yelled and tackled Bender, ripping him into pieces, soon, throwing him out of the window. She took in deep breaths, then calmed down.
"Okay... I need a muffin." She fell to the floor and fell asleep. Fry leaned in a corner, shaking.
"She's scary!" He whimpered.
