//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 - Always Be Prepared // Story: Rules for Bodyguards // by ShiningBeacon //------------------------------// Shining Armor was not having a good day. It had started out normal enough. Where had it gone wrong? He'd woken up, girded his armor, reported for duty, responded to a disturbance in the castle, spilled scalding hot coffee on Prince Blueblood... Oh. Right. The Coffee Incident. Looking back on it, things had gone downhill from there, starting with being screamed at by his superiors for the better part of an hour. Ending with chasing a cranky cockatrice through the courtyard, trying not to become the latest fashionable statue in Princess Celestia’s garden. Still, he’d had the sweet oblivion of sleep to look forward to until his door had burst open and his commanding officer told him to get dressed and ready to present himself to the Princesses. Now, he stood outside the throne room, after day court hours, trying not to sweat through his uniform. The doors to the throne room creaked open and the guards outside uncrossed their spears, granting him access to the sanctuary. He swallowed nervously and entered, trying to appear more confident than he felt. Who knew? Maybe the princesses were just feeling sociable this evening? The stern look on Celestia’s face did away with that faint hope. He approached the throne and bowed deeply, nearly prostrating himself before the princess. “Your Highness,” he said slowly, “You sent for me?” “I did.” A pregnant pause hung in the air like an unspoken threat. “I received a very interesting message from my nephew during my tea time this afternoon, asking me to consider reinstating capital punishment. Would you care to explain to me why Prince Blueblood is in the medical wing with coffee burns over 20% of his body, including his-” “I think we all know the extent of his injures, Celestia,” Cadance interjected. “What is more telling is the fact that nopony who was actually at the... incident could or would give a clear answer as to what happened. As the only guard on the scene, we were hoping you could answer a few questions about the exact sequence of events.” Shining Armor hesitated. “That... may be difficult, ma’am.” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And why is that?” “I have taken an oath of secrecy, in front of witnesses regarding the events of this morning, my princess. I can no more renege on this vow them my own solemn promise to you.” “I see.... and if I ask Blueblood about this promise, will he confirm that you did, indeed, make this vow of secrecy?” “Most definitely, your highness. In fact, it was his idea.” “is that so? Interesting.” Shining could feel Celestia’s eyes upon him, like she was trying to look into his soul to find the truth of the matter. After a few seconds, she turned to Cadance. “What do you think, Cadance? How would you handle this?” Cadance looked at Celestia, then back at Shining Armor, biting her lip in a rather undignified manner. “When I was there earlier, the Doctor said that he was expecting Blueblood to make a full recovery, with no lingering physical effects from the incident. Given the minor injuries of the involved parties, the desire to keep the matter private, and the total lack of evidence, I think the only thing we can to warn everypony to be on their best behavior.” Celestia continued to stare at Shining for a few seconds, then nodded. “I think that is all we can do, given the situation as it stands.” Shining let out an audible sigh of relief, nearly collapsing to the floor. So, it is done. I take my secrets to the grave. And not an early one. “if that is all, princess, then I would like to-” “We have more to discuss, Corporal Armor,” Celestia interrupted, “matters not related to the events of today.” Shining’s heart fell again. “Relax, Shining, it’s not bad,” Cadance giggled, “in fact, it's good news! We’re giving you a promotion! Sort of.” She shrugged. “I mean, you’ll have a much more stressful job, but on the other hoof, you get to hang out with us more, that should make up for it, right?” Shining Armor looked up at the two princesses above him, not understanding. “Cadance has selected you to lead her bodyguard escort on her first diplomatic mission to Roam, Lieutenant Armor,” Celestia said, emphasizing his new rank. “In spite of the events of today, I have decided to go along with this, given your mutual history, among other things.” “Princess... this is a great honor-” “No, Corporal. This is not an honor; this is a duty. I will be holding you personally responsible for her wellbeing. Do you understand what all this entails?” Shining Armor nodded. He knew the results if his incompetence or negligence led to Cadance being harmed. Celestia had outlawed Capital Punishment centuries ago, but there were still a number of very unpleasant places to serve out a life sentence. He'd been trained how to be a personal bodyguard, but he’d never expected to need those skills, considering his rather poor performance during testing. Or at least, what he’d thought had been a poor performance. I’m either the beneficiary of rampant nepotism, or rampant incompetence. Yay me. “Princess Celestia, I humbly accept this position with the upmost grad-” “Gratitude and Respect and blah blah blah,” Cadance muttered. “Can we leave now, Celestia? I’m going to be stuck in a carriage until Seaddle. I’d like to get that over with. The sooner we’re on the ship, the better.” Celestia rolled her eyes. “Yes, Cadance, we’re done. Make sure you go over the checklist one more time before you load your luggage.” Shining Armor Looked between the two princesses. “Um, Princess Celestia, when did you say we were leaving? I have a few things that I need to attend to before I can start packing-” “Your personal effects were packed and loaded into the carriage while we discussed your promotion, Corporal, you are ready to leave immediately.” Shining’s mouth dropped open. “But I just accepted the position, how did you-” “Corporal, you were bound either for Roam or the dungeon, your things had to be moved one way or the other. This way, the three of you can leave immediately. "Three of us? Who is the third?” “Lieutenant Barrel Roll will be in charge of the military attachment traveling to Roam. I understand the two of you know each other quite well.” “He and I have been close for many years, Princess.” “Excellent. The two of you should have no trouble coordinating your operations. You are both dismissed.” Cadance squealed and hugged the elder princess, then leapt into the air and flew through the throne room and out the large doors in the front. Shining instinctively ducked as she swooped overhead, watching the elated princess as she left. What have I gotten myself into? He wondered. Getting to his feet, he gave Celestia one more low bow, before turning and walking towards the door. “And Corporal?” Shining Armor turned back around, only to discover himself nose to nose with the Princess. He froze, his limbs locked in place, his mouth suddenly drier than a desert as Celestia stared him down. He tried to stammer a response, but his tongue betrayed him, and all that came out was a pitiful squeak. “If I hear that you are involved any more ‘unexplained’ accidents that hurt my family, especially Cadance, I will reconsider my ban on Capital punishment. Do I make myself clear?” Shining Armor nodded once, not trusting himself to speak. At last, Celestia broke the stare and walked over to one the many stain glass windows lining the walls of the throne room. “Go. Princess Cadance is waiting for you.” He bowed for the last time and left quickly, gasping for breath as the doors closed and locked behind him. Of all the times he’d been in the presence of Celestia, he’d never before been the target of her ire. Now that he had, he understood better the rumors amongst the guards surrounding her, whispers of punishments that were worse than a quick death meted out to the worst of the worst. Never again, he resolved. The long walk to the chariot landing strip gave him time to reflect on his new position, and for the worries to start creeping into his mind. How am I going to manage a whole new troop? What if I am a terrible bodyguard? Did I drain the bathtub before I left? “Shining! Hey, Shining!” a familiar voice called out. Turning around, he saw Spearhead and Yellow Cake, both friends from boot camp, standing behind him. “We heard the news from Barrel Roll. Wanted to say congratulations before you left,” Yellow Cake said in his thick Applelousa accent. Both ponies saluted their friend. “Lucky you, getting to hang out with the princess all day. Lota stallions would kill for the opportunity to walk around behind the princess all day, if you know what I mean,” Spearhead said, giving the newly minted Corporal a wink. “SPEAR!” Shining exclaimed. “Not appropriate!” “What? It's the truth. Just ‘cause you got a special somepony, doesn't mean you can’t admire some nice tail, right? What Picture doesn’t know won't hurt her, long as it's just looking.” “Even if I wasn’t already in a relationship, which I am, we’re on duty and still in the castle, for Celestia’s sake! Please keep your fantasies to yourself, least till I get out of blast range!” “Aw, you worry too much Shining. In fact, I bet the Princesses would be flattered if they knew just how many of the guards wished one of them would our marefriend. In fact, I wouldn’t mind telling Celestia her- oof!” Spearhead’s sacrilege came to an abrupt end when Yellow Cake elbowed his friend in between the gaps in his armor, using his earth pony strength to make sure he got the message. “What he’s trying to say, Shining, is have a safe trip, and keep a close eye on Princess Cadance,” Cake drawled, “don’t let your guard down. You know how sneaky those Zebras can be. Keep your head on a swivel and make it back, ya’ hear?” “Thanks, guys. You two keep everypony safe while I’m gone, Alright?” “Will do. Come on, Spear, we gotta finish our patrol.” Yellow Cake led his injured friend down one of the many halls, and Shining watched them go till they turned a corner and disappeared out of sight. Something was bothering him, though. One of the things Spearhead had said. What Picture doesn’t know won't hurt her. Sun Above, Picture! She doesn’t know I’m leaving! In a panic, he realized he had no idea how long they’d be gone. Roam was far away on the continent of Zebrica, only reachable by ship. The journey alone would take weeks, never mind how long they’d actually be in Roam itself. He ran towards the exit. I need to speak to Cadance. Maybe I’ll have enough time to write a letter, or to swing by her house and tell her I'm leaving. Heading into the courtyard, he saw Cadance and Lieutenant Barrel Roll standing next to the Royal Coach. Even from the door, he could see the pile of suitcases stacked to the roof in the rear window. Cynically, he wondered if any of his possessions had made it into the carriage at all. “There you are! We were beginning to wonder if Celestia changed her mind about throwing you in the Dungeon!” Barrel Roll teased. Shining ignored the jab and hurried over to bow in front of Cadance. “Princess, I have a favor to ask,” he said breathlessly, “Picture doesn’t know about my new position, is there any way we could make a stop on the way? It would only take a minute.” Cadance shook her head. “I’m sorry, Shining. I’m afraid time is of the essence. If we don’t leave now, we’ll miss the tide." Shining’s ears fell. “But, Cadance-” “You heard the Princess, Corporal,” Barrel Roll said, “If you carried so much about Picture, maybe you should have said ‘goodbye’ before you started your shift. That’s how my father always left. ‘Goodbye son. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow, if I’m still alive.’ Though the tone of his voice was one of amusement, Shining had spent enough time with Barrel Roll to see that exact farewell more than once. “Well, maybe I would have if I had known-” “First rule of being a bodyguard, Corporal, ‘Always be prepared’. Preparation is half the job.” “Barrel!” Shining yelled at his friend, “This is important!” “So is the mission, Shining!” Barrel shot back. “Boys!” Cadance shouted, using just a hint of her Canterlot voice. “That’s enough! Barrel Roll, stop teasing Shining and show him.” “Spoil sport,” Barrel Roll muttered under his breath, walking over to the door of the carriage. “Shining,” Cadance said apologetically, “We really do have to get going, we’re on a tight schedule. Now, I know things have been rough between you and Picture recently, and I didn’t want you to stress about saying goodby.” Barrel Roll reached out and opened the door to the Carriage. “So, I took the prerogative of inviting Picture to ride with us.” Inside sat Picture Perfect, Shining Armor’s marefriend and first love. She waved a wing sheepishly at him through the doorway. “Hey, Shining,” she said, barely above a whisper. Shining Armor, who’d been as tense as a bowstring relaxed immediately when the saw the mare of his affection. “Perfect! You're here!” He exclaimed as he scrambled into the car. Barrel Roll shook his head playfully at Cadance and followed her into the carriage as it started to move forward. Shining sat next to Picture and leaned in to give her a kiss. She put a hoof on his chest, stopping him mid pucker. “Shining, could we not do this in front of the princess?” Shining raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t object to kissing in front of her on our double date. What’s so special about now? We're all friends here.” “We don’t mind, Picture.” Cadance said cheerfully. “I’m never bothered by two ponies who love each other showing their love to those close to them.” “I think it's hot,” Barrel said with a sly grin. Shining tried to kick him in the shin and missed. “I just... I guess I'm feeling a little claustrophobic, that’s all.” Shining deflated a little but nodded. “Alright, then.” He perked up and wagged his eyebrows at her. “just have to make it up when we get there, then.” Picture didn’t say anything to that, and an awkward silence fell. Barrel Roll gave a little cough. “So, Shining, how much do you know about Roam?” Shining Armor frowned. “Not as much as I should. It was covered in my military history class, but since we’ve never fought an official war against them, they kinda brushed over it. Can you give me a refresher?” “I can!” Cadance chirped, “so way back in the day, 500 or so years ago, Roam used to be a republic. One of the first in the world, actually. Given their prime natural harbor and the fertile-” “heh, fertile” Barrel Roll snickered. “-land surrounding the city,” Cadance continued, not acknowledging Barrel, “They grew rapidly, eventually absorbing their neighbors and establishing the Grand Republic of Roam. For a long time, they were the largest economic bloc in the world, with a military force and economy to rival our own.” Shining’s eyebrow popped. That was news to him. As far as he had known, Equestria had been the most prosperous nation to ever exist, at least since the Princess had taken the throne. “You said they ‘were’ our rivals. What happened?” “Around 200 years ago, a young general in the army led a rebellion against the official government of Roam. It started small, but over 2 decades they slowly gained ground until the Republican government collapsed and the General crowned himself Emperor of Roam. “For most of the conflict, Celestia took a decidedly neutral stance, not wanting to make an enemy out of either side. However, as the emperor consolidated his power and began to commit atrocities against his political opposition, Celestia found this stance untenable. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late, and she was unable to tip the balance of the war back in favor of the legitimate government, but it was just enough to anger the new emperor.” She shrugged. “After that, Equestria, and Celestia in particular, became a convenient scapegoat for the people's problems. Not enough food? Celestia stole the grain harvest. Drought? Celestia sent her pegasi to disrupt the rain. Can’t get it up? Celestia herself placed a curse on you.” Cadance gave out a huff in amusement. “it’s ridiculous, really. Celestia has taught me every spell she knows, and not a single impotence spell among them. It's absurd!” “You hear that Shining? No more blaming Celestia for your problem- ACK!” This time Shining’s kick found its mark, and it wasn’t Barrel Rolls’ shin.   “Shining!” Picture smacked him on the shoulder with her wing, “Apologize, right now!” “I’m sorry you have the same weak point as every other stallion, Barrel Roll.” “Shining!” “I mean, I can fix that for you right here, if you’d like.” He raised his hoof again. “SHINING!” “It's fine, Picture,” Barrel Roll squeaked out. “I kinda deserved it. Kinda.” Cadance, for her part, had covered her muzzle in shock. Or to keep from letting out an unladylike snort. It was definitely one of those. Seeing his best friend doubled over in pain, Shining took pity on him and apologized more thoroughly. After the shock wore off, Barrel Roll was gracious enough to accept his apology, and the two hugged it out in what the two mares assured them was a very masculine hug. The dispute behind them, the four friends settled in for the rest of Cadance’s explanation. “Anyways, so that falling out between Equestria and Roam was nearly two hundred years ago. However, even though things were tense, the two nations still maintained an official presence in the others capital... or they did, until someone tried to assassinate the Emperor. Supposedly it was the product of a massive conspiracy, and in typical fashion at each public trial the accused conspirators would swear that Celestia was the ultimate mastermind behind the plot. After that, Roam ejected our embassy, and Celestia responded in kind, and so for over a hundred and fifty years the two nations have refuse official diplomatic communications with each other. “That is, until last year, when we received a message from the new Emperor of Roam, the great grandchild of the original emperor. It seems he’s been pushing though huge political and economic reforms since he took power, as well as opening old ties with other nations, and we were among the first. As such, he invited Celestia to reopen an embassy in Roam with the intent of normalizing relations between us.” “And instead of Princess Celestia going to this momentous occasion herself, she decided to send you?” Picture asked, “No offense, but doesn’t that seem like the kind of thing she should handle herself?” “I can answer that,” said Barrel Roll, “while the reopening is seen as a grand occasion and cause for celebration fit for royalty, our military intelligence was concerned about the prospect of the whole invitation being a ruse to lure Celestia outside of Equestira and neutralize her. And when we figured out how many troops we’d need to send to ensure her safety, it came out to be an impossibly large percentage of our overall forces. So, to resolve the quandary, they suggested that Celestia send the spare,” he nodded to Cadance, “No offense meant, of course.” “It’s alright, Barrel. Everypony knows I’m just not as important as Celestia.” Her expression hardened slightly, “But I am still a princess, and they still have to respect that.” she looked back and forth between Shining Armor and Barrel Roll, “As do you, outside of this car. Once we arrive, we’ll need to put our best hoof forward.” the two stallions nodded solemnly. “We will be the very picture of Professionalism, Princess. You have our word,” Shining said solemnly. Cadance smiled at her fearless escort. “Plus, I get to travel out on my very first mission with my friends, which was more than I could ever hope for. Between all of us, I was starting to wonder if Celestia was going to keep me in the castle forever. As my debut solo mission, this mission means a lot to me as well. If we’re successful, I would become the face of Equestira to Roam, instead of the pony they’ve been taught to hate for generations, which according to our sources will still be a major hurdle even with the ongoing reforms. Once we overcome that stigma, we should be golden!” Shining Armor listened to Cadance’s words, hiding the trepidation he felt. A nation full of Zebra’s that had a generational, propaganda infused hatred of Equestria, and Celestia in particular? And now he had to keep the pony most like Celestia on the entire planet safe while she balanced delicate negotiations? once again, he wondered just what he got himself into. While the girls were distracted, Barrel Roll noticed Shining’s expression and leaned over. “Everything alright?” he whispered. “Wonderful. I just have figure out how to protect Cadance from bad actors in the government and the common citizens. Good thing I’m a seasoned bodyguard, right?” Shining muttered sarcastically. “Don’t forget the business class. They might see opened trade routes as a threat to their livelihood,” Barrel remarked. “Of course, how could I forget about yet another group that might want her dead. That will certainly help me sleep tonight.” Shining shook his head slightly. “I don’t know, Barrel, I had a rotten day. Maybe I'm just too tired to focus on this right now.” “You're in the bodyguard now, Shining. You don’t have time to be too tired.” Shining’s crest fell at these words. He’s right. This is the most important job I'll ever have. I can’t give up before I’ve started. “That being said, we have a couple of weeks to come up with a plan. Why not just enjoy this time with Picture? We won’t see her for a long time after today. Worry about it in a little bit.” Shining nodded. “Your right. I should enjoy this moment. I just can’t quite shake the feeling that somepony else is making plans of their own right now. Plans that don’t end well for any of us.” “Hey, ain’t nopony crazy enough to try anything as long as we’re here,” Barrel Roll ginned. “One look at us and any glorious fantasies will evaporate." If only I could believe that, Shining thought. The rest of the ride was much more subdued. Shining and Barrel were both tired from their shifts, and it was extremely late by any standard. Well, except maybe the threstrals. One by one, each pony drifted off, sleeping as best they could while sitting up. Something disturbed Shining enough to force him awake, and he opened his eyes to the Moon glaring through the window into the carriage. It was a stroke of luck, as he realized he was one of the few ponies to have seen Celestia interrupted during the setting. He could tell because the moon was only partially under the horizon, with the head of the Mare in the Moon still visible. As the carriage flew along, Shining gazed up at the mare, thinking of all the legends and stories around the moon and the oft-denied uptick of crime and magical anomalies that the guard dealt with during the phases when the moon was most prominent in the sky. As far as astronomers and natural philosophers could tell, the patten in the moon that looked like a mare was a natural phenomenon caused by an unequal distribution of rock concentrations across the face of the body. And yet, despite being debunked time and time again, rumors and urban legends of the “malevolent moon” had persisted over the last millennia, quietly whispered in the dead of night around campfires and slumber parties. The words from one of Twilight’s old horror books floated out of the dark corners of his mind and into his consciousness. Gaze not too long into the Eye of the Mare, lest She gaze back. Now the Mare gazed down at the world, peaking over the horizon like a predator stalking for its prey, waiting for it to drop its guard only for a moment. A shiver of ice ran down his spine. No, not the whole world. Just Us. He reached up and pulled the blinds on the window closed, blocking the view into the cabin. He knew the truth of the matter. The stories were just that: stories to scare foals. The Mare in the Moon wasn’t real. She couldn’t hurt anyone. But knowing and believing are two very different things.