//------------------------------// // The Apathetic Life is Gonna Kill You // Story: Life on the Murder Scene // by The Red Parade //------------------------------// It’s close to midnight by the time I land back at home. I couldn’t find the car even after hours of canvasing the city. Wherever the hell they went, they got there fast. As I touch down outside of my apartment, I suddenly tense up. My hoof slides towards my pistol reflexively. “Easy there! It’s me,” JD says from behind me. I sigh in annoyance and relax a little bit. “How the fuck did you find me?” “Staked out your house the other night,” JD replies. “Twitch’s orders. You left that scene mighty fast, just wanted to talk about it.” I roll my eyes and trot towards the apartment building. “I’ve got nothing to say. Go home, kid.” As I push open the door, I scowl as I hear her hoofsteps following me. “Geez. Can’t take a hint, can you?”  “No ma’am,” she replies. “Again, just want to ask you what all this is about.” I snort in annoyance as I start climbing the stairs, JD trailing me close behind. “What, can’t a mare go around killing folks without ponies asking questions?” “Word is you’re takin’ this mighty seriously, ma’am,” JD shoots back. “Ugh. Don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel fuckin’ old,” I grunt.  JD shrugs. “Sure thing, Killjoy.” We pause outside of my apartment door and I fumble the keys out of saddlebag. “See, why can’t you tell Stellar to call me that?” “Stellar thinks those kind of names are tacky, ma-- Killjoy,” J.D. replies, catching herself in time. I nose open the door to my apartment and smash my hoof on the lightswitch, showing off the shitty little room in its full glory.  JD soaks it all in from my doorway as I throw my gear on the couch. I amble over to the fridge, hoping there’s still some beer and pizza left. I wave a hoof at the conference ‘room’ behind me. “You got a question or something, better ask it now.” “Just wonderin’ why you’re so invested in this case,” J.D. replies as she pulls out a chair.  I sigh, kicking up my legs on the table. “Not much to say. He was a friend of mine… real good friend.”  “Right rotten way for him to go,” JD replies. “My condolences. Sounds like you and him were real close?”  I think about that for a minute. “Well… I liked to think we were. I only knew him for about four years, actually. One of the first ponies I met when I came out here. Tavi introduced us, he gave me my first job.” I shake off the nostalgia and take a drink. “But hell, that’s all in the past now.” JD takes it in and nods. “So you knew him well?” “He was like a brother to me,” I say. “Sure as hell didn’t deserve to go out like that.” We fall silent as I spin the bottle in circles on the table, grabbing it by the neck and rolling it around its base. Guess it was kind of rash of me to think I knew him the best. I mean, sure, we were great friends, but he was married to Guiding for… what, thirty years? Shit, man. Time just passes you by if you’re not paying attention. It sure as shit isn’t going to wait for you, either. I shake off the thoughts and focus on the kid. “Look… how long have you been doing this?” “Second year on the job,” she responds. “Huh. So you’re still pretty green then.” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “Listen, you probably know already, but this line of work is pretty shitty. Gonna see a lot of shit that fucks you up, and a lot of shit that sticks with you in the end.” “I know,” she replies. “But it’s all worth it in the end, isn’t it?” That makes me hesitate. “I… I don’t know.” I feel JD’s eyes boring in to me, studying me like I’m a fucking museum piece or something.  “I just don’t fucking know,” I mutter. “We say that we do this shit for the greater good, but what fucking good is that if we can’t even save the ones close to us?” JD chews on that thought and I can see the gears winding in her head. Way to go, Killjoy. Give her trauma while she’s still fresh on the job. “Look,” I say, setting the bottle back down. “Don’t worry about it that much. But if you want my advice, get out while you can. This job’s shitty, and it’s only a matter of time before you lose someone or you lose yourself.” “Huh,” JD says. “Well… thanks, I guess.” She slides out of the chair and heads for the door, chewing her lip as she walks. As she reaches the door she pauses and glances back at me. “Hey, so uh… have you ever had to…” her eyes drift to the pistol that’s sitting on the table. I wince, finishing the question in my head. “When… uh, if that comes, you’re going to want to talk to someone who isn’t me,” I stutter. “Because I… it... just… just talk to someone if you need to. Not me.” “Right, right. Okay. Uh, thanks, Killjoy.” JD tips her hat at me and walks out, gently shutting the door behind her. I blink a few times and stare at the door, before shrugging it off and reaching for my bottle.  Something tells me I’m in for another long night. All in all, Lone Hill isn’t the shittiest city in the west, but it’s a far cry from the best. Not a lot of ponies come out here, especially now that Oasis is a thing. Nowadays everyone goes flocking over to that suburban bullshit, or whatever the fuck they’re doing out there. The parking lot next to the Bounty Hunter’s Guild office is pretty empty, which makes sense. Ponies avoid this place for as long as they can help it. Nopony challenges me as I trot up the stairs and into the reception room. I nod at the receptionist before heading off to the notice board, where they hoof out notifications and wanted posters, mixed in with safety reminders and random advertisements. Not seeing anything all that important, I head down the hall and towards the mailboxes. They give one to every registered bounty hunter, and use them to give payouts and work, but some of the wiseguys also like shoving lewd images through the slots. Some days it’s a real mixed bag. Luckily, there’s nothing but some papers inside of mine. Flipping through them shows that they’re nothing special: a general wanted notice for some Dusk Watch fucker, a reminder about paying off my guild dues, and a warning. For “improper conduct and behavior unbecoming of a bounty hunter.” I roll my eyes, crumpling up the warning and tossing it aside.  “Dear, you really shouldn’t litter,” says a voice from behind me. I whip around to see Octavia, clicking her tongue at me in disapproval. “Wha… Tavi, what the fuck are you doing here? How’d you even get in?” Octavia ignores me and scoops up the crumpled paper, unfurling it in her hooves. “Is this how you treat all of your reprimands?”  I shrug. “They hoof them out like candy. Really bitter, shitty tasting candy.” “You really do need to take these more seriously,” Octavia muses. “This is your career on the line, dear.” “What do you want now, Tavi? Why are you here?”  Octavia unfolds the warning and smooths it out against her suit coat. “I just had a meeting with the head of the guild, Raindrops. And I regret to inform you that you are on quite thin ice.” I narrow my eyebrows. “What the hell were you doing talking to the guild masters?” “I’m trying to save you before you kill yourself,” Octavia snaps. “Because quite frankly, I think that you will.” “And so what if I do?” The words echo down the hallway as Octavia stares me down. “So what? Is that really what you think of your own life?” “What the fuck do you care?” Octavia rams a hoof into my chest, sending me backpedaling. “Do not get curt with me,” she growls. “Fine. The apathetic life is going to kill you, dear, but that seems to be just fine with you.” She shoves the paper warning into my chest with a huff, before whirling about and storming out of the room. I don’t let my breath out until the door slams shut. I smooth out the warning against my chest and skim it. Towards the bottom, my eyes catch a single, bolded phrase that I didn’t notice before: This is your final warning. I crumple it up and toss it into the trash can with a snort. Then, I turn around and buck the lockers behind me as hard as I can. The echo rings and rings throughout the hallway like a gunshot.