A cold wind blew through the train car. It was always windy and cold in Canterlot, the city perched at the peak of a mountain and looking down on the ponies below like a symbol reminding them of something symbolic. Maybe the wind was going home, just like Luster Dawn was. She adjusted the fedora she was wearing, pulling her coat tight against the breeze.
“It’s sort of drafty, isn’t it?” Larrikin asked. “Did anypony bring a snack?”
Larrikin was lucky. There wasn’t a point in disguising them. They looked a little different every day, and all it took the kelpie was a little mental effort and they were another face in the crowd. Luster Dawn knew she didn’t have that kind of luxury. She was going to stand out. Ponies in Canterlot knew who she was, and if she was going to avoid attention, it meant being fast, quiet, and carrying the biggest distraction she could think of.
The Spirit of Harmony turned to her and smiled like it could read her mind.
“You always want a snack,” Booky said. The alicorn adjusted herself on her seat, her image flickering and revealing the composite body underneath, wood and crystal and magic holding together just enough to let her actually interact with the world.
“If I didn’t want one I wouldn’t be asking,” Larrikin pointed out.
Booky rolled her eyes. “It’s not like somepony is just going to show up with--”
“Does anypony want some popcorn?” Phantasma asked, trotting quietly into the room with a big bag and a few drinks. “I ended up going all the way to the dining car on my walk, and something told me I should pick up a few things.”
The Spirit of Harmony giggled.
Booky glared at her near-double. “It’s cheating if you use harmony magic to inspire ponies to do something before anypony even knows they need to do it!”
“I want some popcorn!” Larrikin exclaimed, taking the bag happily and diving in. “Oh! Extra butter!”
“Luster, I brought you a coffee,” Phantasma said, the leggy dame settling down next to Luster Dawn and offering her a steaming cup of joe.
“Thanks,” Luster said, taking it and looking out the window. The coffee was as dark as her soul, as black as midnight on a cloudless night. That is to say, it had two creams and two sugars, which was just the way she liked it. Phantasma was the sort of good friend who remembered her friends’ coffee orders.
“Are you nervous about going home?” Phantasma asked.
“This is going to be a delicate operation,” I said. “Booky and the Spirit will get all the attention, and knowing Princess Twilight, she’ll get so flustered and distracted that I’ll be able to get some straight answers from her.”
“Oh, that reminds me!” Larrikin interrupted. “I can’t wait to meet your friends. I’ve got a bunch of questions for them!”
“My… friends?” Luster asked, slowly.
“You know, your old Canterlot friends,” Larrikin said. “Ibis gave me a bunch of forms for them to fill out. She said she wanted to find out about your secret weaknesses so she could finally figure out a riddle that would stump you, and that I shouldn’t tell you about it because she wants to spring it on you when you least expect it like a panther ready to pounce!”
“You… just told her about it,” Phantasma sighed.
“If Ibis really wanted it kept secret she should have picked somepony better at keeping secrets,” Larrikin countered. “She knows I’m bad at stuff like that, so it’s probably part of her secret plan. Luster finds out about the forms, thinks she knows what’s coming, then wha-bam! She pulls something out of left field and it’s totally different from what you expected!”
“I’m surprised she had forms ready,” Phantasma said.
“Well, you know she doesn’t really like trains,” Larrikin said. "She hates riding in the cargo car."
Luster sighed. “It’s too bad Arteria was busy. She’d probably be a big help with the plan.”
Phantasma rolled her eyes. “If you say so. I think the plan is a little…” she hesitated. “It’s very ambitious and exciting.”
That was the polite way of saying she didn’t think it was going to work and that Luster Dawn was making a mountain out of a molehill. Luster took a sip of her coffee instead of commenting on Phantasma’s lack of faith.
“I’m also excited to meet your friends, though,” Phantasma said. “You were Princess Twilight’s personal student, so I bet you knew a lot of ponies.”
Luster Dawn was looking out the window, so the others didn’t see the wave of panic wash across her face, panic that was forced away with a big smile.
“Oh yeah,” Luster said. “I knew… wow, I don’t even know! Probably hundreds of ponies? I wouldn’t say I was really great friends with many of them. I mean, you guys are my best friends.”
A lingering nervousness that had been hovering around Phantasma seemed to go away, and the tall black-and-red pony relaxed a little.
“And, uh, I’m sure my other friends are very busy with… projects.”
“Projects?” Booky asked.
The Spirit gave Luster Dawn the kind of skeptical look that you got from someone who was absolutely sure you were lying but was hoping you’d just admit to it instead of making them point it out. The Spirit of Harmony was really, really good at conveying a lot of detailed information with just body language.
“W-well I was basically a grad student, you know?” Luster scoffed, trying to look cool. “I was in all the advanced classes. Advanced Sorcery 201, Recursive Divination 101, Obfuscate 60, Artifacts 80…”
“Oh yeah, nopony is more popular than an underage grad student taking a double course load,” Booky said, metaphorically dripping with sarcasm in the way Larrikin literally dripped with pond water.
“You’ll see!” Luster Dawn snapped, instantly rising to the challenge before she could think about it and immediately regretting rising to said challenge. “I mean, uh, if they’re not busy. We’re going to a school of friendship, but they’re still attending the school of magic, so I don’t want to disturb them.”
“It’ll be neat meeting them,” Larrikin said. “Ibis thinks they’re all gonna be in a book club and stuff, but Arteria said your Canterlot friends are probably nobility. Berlioz thinks you didn’t have a lot of friends but he’s sort of a downer.”
“Haha!” Luster laughed. “Y-yeah! What does he know?” She smiled. “But, uh, let’s just focus on the mission first.”
“Right!” Larrikin smiled. “We cause a ton of chaos and you exploit it!”
“That’s not exactly the plan. But it’s close enough.”
Canterlot Palace. Most ponies thought of it as a beacon of stability and a symbol of the power of the alicorn princesses. In reality, it had been rebuilt at least three times in recent memory. It had burned down a few decades ago in what the palace staff simply called ‘The Sunset Incident’, then it had been reduced to rubble by a coalition of villains, and then a particularly bad Grand Galloping Gala had gotten out of hand and they were still trying to figure out how so much stone had gotten transmuted into pudding. But the fourth castle stayed up, and it was more secure and beautiful than any of the ones that had come before.
The security part was important, because unlike the old days, there was only so far you could walk into the castle uninvited with two mysterious alicorns before somepony would take notice.
Luster Dawn had only gotten halfway to the throne room from the front gates when a wall of guards appeared in front of her as if by magic, but the only real magic involved was the coordination and dedicated work of the Captain of the palace guard.
“That’s far enough,” she said. The voice had enough authority and force behind it that even spoken softly, the words were enough to make Luster Dawn almost snap to attention herself.
Tempest Shadow stood a head taller than anypony in the room except Phantasma, but the way she carried herself made her seem twice that size. She narrowed her gaze as she looked at Luster Dawn and the group she’d brought with her.
“I should have known somepony would take notice,” Luster said. She dramatically removed her hat. “I need to--”
The Captain raised her hoof. She looked at the two alicorns, then took a deep breath. “Not this again. I can’t believe it keeps-- Alert everypony, we’ve got a Double Mirror Black and White Event! Yes, lieutenant, again!”
“A what?” Luster Dawn blinked in surprise as ponies started moving as if they knew exactly what to do.
“You did the right thing, coming here,” Tempest said. “The last time this happened, it was a teleportation accident during an ion storm.”
“The last time what happened?” Luster asked.
“The Princess being split into her good and evil halves,” Tempest explained. “It was a whole… thing last time. You know, ‘can half a mare live?’ And ‘We all have our darker side. We need it! It's half of what we are. It's not really ugly. It's Equine!’”
“That sounds…” Luster tilted her head. “Split into good and evil? That can happen?”
“I stopped asking questions about Princess Twilight’s magical accidents years ago,” Tempest said. “Now I just try and plan out how to solve them.”
“Well, uh, it’s not what you think,” Luster said. “They’re not Princess Twilight.”
“I could be Princess Twilight,” Booky said. “I’d be better at it than she is.”
“Oh,” Tempest Shadow said. She sighed. “Cancel the Black and White Alert! Yes, I can see you’ve got the portable spell circles set up! Just put them back into storage!” She turned back to Luster. “So who are they, then? Because if they were a little older--”
The Spirit of Harmony, who needed about as many candles on her birthday cake as Princess Celestia, snorted with laughter at that.
Tempest just kept going, ignoring the giggle. “The point is, there are two strange alicorns in my castle, and I need to know why they’re here and why you’re here.”
“Well, you’re the sheriff,” Luster said, with a shrug and smile. “The one who’s sort of floating and hasn’t gotten a real strong grasp on gravity is the Spirit of Harmony, and we really should figure out a better name than that.”
The Spirit shrugged as if to say she’d been a tree for a dozen centuries and was fine with taking things slowly.
“The other one is my friend!” Larrikin said, excited like a puppy. “I found her in the forest and I’m pretty sure she was part of an evil plot to destroy Equestria. She’s made out of sticks and rocks and magic!”
“But she’s good now!” Luster assured Tempest.
Booky patted Luster on the flank. “Sure I am.”
“I hate Mondays,” Tempest sighed.
“Look, we can clear all this up if we just talk to Princess Twilight,” Luster Dawn said. “And I’m sure she’ll want to study this right away! We should probably just go right to the throne room, or her private study. Where is she right now, anyway?”
“She’s not here,” Tempest said, rubbing her temples and trying to stave off a headache. “That’s why I thought these two might be her, split into good and evil halves.”
“She’s not… here?” Luster asked.
“I told you we should have just sent a letter,” Phantasma muttered.
“Where did she go?” Luster asked. “I don’t remember any diplomatic trips scheduled for this year. This is important, and I really need to talk to her in person, in private.”
Tempest Shadow shook her head. “I can’t tell you that.”
“You definitely can. I’m her personal student! You can trust me! Twilight would trust me. I’ve got a very high security clearance.”
“First, no, you don’t, because I’m the one who decides if a pony is or isn’t cleared for information,” Tempest said. “Second, it has nothing to do with trust. It’s about following orders. I have explicit orders to tell nopony where she is, and I agree with her reason for giving the order.”
“That’s not fair at all,” Luster muttered.
“I don’t like it much either,” Tempest said, her expression softening a little. “I don’t like keeping secrets and I hate left being left behind. I know how it feels being out of the loop. I might be able to pass on a message, but I don’t think I can manage much more than that, even if I wanted.”
“I’ll… think about it. You’ll probably write a report on this anyway.”
Tempest nodded. “For when she gets back. If it’s not critical, I don’t want to distract her. You know how flustered she gets when she gets distracted by something.”
Luster Dawn laughed nervously. “Yeah. Flustered.”
“She totally forgets what she’s doing and starts floundering around,” Tempest continued. “That’s why I do my best to keep her from being blind-sided by little things like this.”
“Guess we’re not gonna get to meet the Princess, huh?” Larrikin asked. “Does that mean we have more time to meet Luster’s old friends?”
“That’s a good idea, Larrikin,” Phantasma said. “The school is right next door, isn’t it? We could just walk over and visit them.”
Luster Dawn felt a bead of sweat work its way down her face.
“That’s a good idea,” Tempest said with approval. “The staff there are all vetted, so it’s one of the safest places in Canterlot, which makes it one of the safest places in the world. As long as you follow all the school rules.”
“Rules?”
Tempest shrugged. “It’s just little things that Luster Dawn can explain. I was never a student, so I just make sure to bring a guide. None of you have any copper jewelry, right?”
“No, I don’t think so,” Phantasma said.
“Good, because if you get too close to any area marked off with red lines, copper-- well, Luster Dawn can explain it when you’re there.”
“It’s not as dangerous as it sounds,” Luster assured her friends. “Twilight just put a few extra rules in place to try and avoid some of the… accidents that have happened over the years.”
They were trotting quietly through one of the school buildings, an ancient hall that had been used for centuries and needed major structural repairs at least once every semester when a student found their way to the more interesting synthesis chains in organic chemistry that involved a lot of nitrogen atoms very loosely and briefly attached to a molecule. Wide stripes in bright, primary colors were painted on the floor, and there were yellow triangles displayed above the doors to either side of the hall.
“And all the lines painted on the ground?” Phantasma asked.
“It’s smart, right? They help lead new students around! And the labs are all marked with little warning symbols so you know what to watch out for and what safety gear you need.”
“What does that one mean?” Larrikin asked, pointing at a symbol of a pen and paper inside a cloud.
“That means a dream recording device is active,” Luster said.
“And the one with the weird triangle?”
“Non-euclidean impossible architectures.”
“And what about that one?”
“That’s an eye wash station.”
The Spirit already had her head through one of the doors like it wasn’t solid. Or like she wasn’t solid. Luster Dawn wasn’t entirely sure if the spirit was corporeal. It seemed rude to ask and it was definitely out of line to just walk up to her and start poking to see how solid she was. She seemed to notice ponies looking at her, because she pulled herself free, shrugging about whatever she saw inside.
“Where would your friends be?” Larrikin asked.
“Well, uh…” Luster Dawn hesitated. “I mean, I’ve been away for months now! I don’t know exactly where anypony is, or what they’re working on. I’m not good at writing letters.”
“That’s probably easy when you don’t have anypony to write to,” Booky whispered, just loudly enough that only Luster could hear her. It made Luster flinch.
“Let’s go to the library!” Luster said, trying to recover her poise and succeeding only because her friends were polite enough not to mention how she’d stumbled.
“The library?” Phantasma asked.
“Yeah! It’s the most exciting place in the school!” Luster lied.
“So when does the exciting part happen?” Larrikin asked.
“Right about the same time we run into Luster Dawn’s old friends, I suspect,” Booky said, leaning dangerously far back in her chair like some sort of delinquent. Luster shot a glance towards the librarian, who was thankfully having a small panic attack after seeing two copies of Twilight Sparkle walk into her library and had decided to lie down for a bit.
The Spirit of Harmony seemed happy just to be somewhere new, and was lurking on top of the bookcases.
“I just didn’t want to disturb anypony in the middle of the day,” Luster said. “I’m sure we’ll see somepony later. I mean, if we even want to!” She laughed a little. “It’d be more fun to go out and see the sights, right? Or we could stay here! The library was recently expanded, you know. Princess Twilight added a whole wing!”
“Oh my gosh, is that a new alicorn?”
“Do you think she’s a princess?”
“She doesn’t have a crown.”
“Maybe she hasn’t been crowned yet?”
“Should we invite her?”
The group turned to look at two unicorns peeking around the edge of a bookshelf to stare at them. They whispered to each other like nopony could see or hear them. Luster stared at them for a moment. They looked vaguely familiar, but most of the ponies at school were just sort of vague shapes and colors in her memory.
“Hey there!” Booky said, waving them over. “I heard something about an invitation?”
The unicorns looked at each other, nodded, and walked over, heads held high. They had a look to them, that made-up, coordinated look that came from fashion magazines and following all the passing fads.
“We’re having a little party tonight in the castle,” one of them said. “My uncle rented a ballroom. We were hoping Princess Twilight would make an appearance but she’s busy.”
“But having a new alicorn nopony knows about would be even better,” the other one added. They were practically twins, with how similar they looked.
“Maybe you could come, even if it’s just for a little while?” the first suggested.
“Well I donno,” Booky said. “I’m sure you know Luster Dawn, right? Princess Twilight’s personal student? She’s one of my friends, I can’t just ditch her…”
They looked at Luster Dawn, and Booky smirked.
“I’m giving you an out,” she mouthed silently, while nopony except Luster was looking at her.
“Oh yeah, we’re super good friends,” Luster laughed.
“Well of course we know Princess Twilight’s student!” one of them said.
“Don’t we have classes with her?” the other asked.
“Totally! Of course she can come.”
“Great!” Larrikin said. “This party sounds fun. Will there be food?”
They recoiled from the kelpie.
“Uh… you’re not even a unicorn.”
“I don’t go anywhere without her,” Booky said. “So how about she tags along as my plus one? And Luster can take Phantasma.”
“Who?”
“Um, me,” Phantasma whispered, raising a hoof. The two unicorns jumped, having totally missed her.
“Tell you what, I’ll sweeten the deal,” Booky said. “I’ll bring my twin sister.”
“You have a twin sister?”
Booky pointed up. The Spirit of Harmony waved down at them from where she was hovering.
“A party,” Tempest said flatly. She wasn’t against parties. She even knew about the party in question. She was simply struggling with the mental effort required to determine why Luster Dawn was planning to attend it.
Tempest Shadow’s office was organized to military precision. Boxes of files labeled precisely with their level of importance sat next to alphabetized filing cabinets. Her broad mahogany desk had a stack of papers in the inbox, a spike where she’d impaled a number of forms that had apparently displeased her, and an outbox where the lucky survivors got to go off to their next destination. The walls were hung with banners showing Twilight’s cutie mark and the Equestrian flag, but the decor had the sense of a trophy room with mementos of defeated foes.
Luster tried to get comfortable in the seat she’d been offered, which was just a little too low to let her look at the papers on the desk and a little too uncomfortable to want to stay long, though Tempest’s gaze worked as well as rope in keeping her firmly seated.
“We came all the way out here to Canterlot, it seems like sort of a waste to go home already,” Luster Dawn said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I thought taking my friends to a party, hosted in the castle where it’s totally safe, was a good idea. It is totally safe, isn’t it? I mean, you’re in charge of the security, right?”
“Of course it’s safe,” Tempest said. “Nowhere in all of Equestria is safer than the castle.”
“Great! Then it shouldn’t be a big deal.”
Tempest sighed. “Look, do you even know the ponies who invited you?”
“Sure, yeah, we have… classes together. I think.”
“I have files on them. And before you ask, no, I’m not paranoid enough to have files on everypony. Ponies who do that end up locking themselves in a cabin with a lot of corkboard and string and trying to prove Princess Twilight is really three ponies in a purple trenchcoat.”
“What kind of files?”
“Not the kind that would put them in prison,” Tempest said. “Suspicions of academic fraud. Bullying. Breaking school rules. We’re waiting for them to put a hoof just far enough out of line that they get in real trouble, and then the rest of this is going to come down to show a pattern of behavior.”
“They might not get in trouble. Ponies can change.”
“Ponies can change. But you have to be ready for when they don’t.” Tempest sighed. “I can’t stop you from going to the party, but I can tell you I don’t think it’s going to work out the way you want.”
Luster laughed. “I think I can handle myself at a party. I’ve been at plenty of parties.”
Tempest shrugged.
“There’s already going to be a security detail,” Tempest said. “If something happens, tell them and they’ll take care of it.” She turned her chair a little, motioning for Luster Dawn to leave. “You’re dismissed, but remember I warned you.”
“I’ll be okay,” Luster promised, finally feeling like she could get up now that the gaze was off her. “Thank you for being worried, though.”
She escaped out of the office, nodding to Tempest’s secretary at her desk just outside the intimidating mare’s chambers, and managed to act nonchalant all the way to the hallway outside where she had a moment of privacy to wipe the sweat from her brow and sit for a moment on the more comfortable bare stone.
“Well that’s part one of the plan done,” she muttered. “Next comes the hard part.”
“It’s very… different from what I expected,” Phantasma said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought parties at the palace were more…”
Luster Dawn laughed like she totally expected everything she was seeing. She was on top of things. She knew it was going to be all ponies a few years older than her, a sound system blaring music that sounded like a very angry Yak giving his manifesto while others smashed drums and a very resilient guitar, and ponies thinking they were being very sneaky with wine and cider even though the guards could clearly see them.
“It’s not the Gala, Phantasma,” Luster said. “It’s just some ponies having fun!”
“Oh yes, just ponies having fun,” Booky said. “I’m going to go mingle. Minion! Attend me!”
“That’s me!” Larrikin said. “I’m gonna see if I can get her to mingle near the snack table. Do you girls want anything?”
“I’m good, thanks,” Luster Dawn said. Phantasma shook her head, and Larrikin waved as they trotted off after Booky.
“Is it just me, or is ‘Princess Booky’ sort of… evil?” Phantasma whispered.
“Larrikin will keep her out of trouble,” Luster Dawn assured her.
“Larrikin can’t keep themselves out of trouble,” Phantasma pointed out.
“You’ve just got to trust ponies sometimes,” Luster said. “Besides, the literal Spirit of Harmony is here!” She reached over to pat the Spirit, realized she still didn’t know if the sparkling alicorn was actually solid, and turned the gesture into a sort of vague wave to avoid accidentally going right through her, which was probably rude to incorporeal beings. “If things got really crazy, she can, um…”
Luster hesitated, thinking.
“Fire a rainbow laser at them?” Phantasma suggested.
“To be fair, that did always solve problems when Princess Twilight did it,” Luster shrugged. “That said, it really doesn’t seem like your kind of gig.”
She looked at the Spirit, who nodded and motioned to the party.
“Wait, you mean… you’re the reason we found out about the party?” Luster asked. “But you were just hanging around in the library. You didn’t do anything! It was just a coincidence that those girls heard us talking!”
The Spirit winked and put a hoof to her lips.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Luster sighed. “If you do something right, it means nopony knows you did it at all, right?”
The Spirit nodded.
“Well… thanks,” Luster said. “I don’t think Booky liked my library tour. Actually, I’m kind of surprised she even lets anypony call her ‘Booky’.”
The Spirit smiled a little and looked over to where Booky was complaining to Larrikin about the buffet.
“I see your point,” Luster said. “I guess it’s different if it comes from a friend.”
“So what should we do first?” Phantasma asked. “We could try dancing, or you could introduce us to the other ponies.”
Luster looked around. She didn’t know anypony’s name. She thought she might have class with some of them but she couldn’t have guessed their names if the fate of Equestria depended on it.
“Dancing sounds great,” she said, despite the music. It was the least painful option. “But I just need to take care of something really quickly. Can you keep an eye on Booky and make sure she doesn’t get in over her head?”
Phantasma sighed. “You’re going to go do something really silly aren’t you?”
“No! Maybe! I won’t get caught. Look, the Spirit of Harmony thinks it’ll be okay!”
They looked at the Spirit. She’d gone out onto the dance floor and was busting the kind of moves you could only do if your body was a totally optional magical construct. Ponies were cheering her on as she went into a spinning hornstand and slowly levitated into the air.
“I’m not sure that counts as agreeing your idea is good,” Phantasma said.
“If it was bad, she’d be trying to stop me. I think. Anyway, she’s having fun. You should have fun too. I’ll be back before you know it!”
Sneaking out of the ballroom was easy. Almost too easy. Captain Shadow had assigned veteran guards to the party, which was a mistake that she couldn’t have foreseen. Some of them remembered when Twilight Sparkle had been a student instead of a hero or a ruler, and seeing two of her in one place captured all their attention in the same way a bomb disposal expert would be captivated by finding not just one but two mysterious, ticking packages.
It wouldn’t be accurate to say that Luster Dawn was sneaky. She’d never had enough of a social life in Canterlot to really learn sneakiness at a young age. However, ever since going to Ponyville she’d had Trixie as one of her teachers, and if there was one thing that mare was good at, it was the art of misdirection and subterfuge.
According to Trixie, there were three types of stealth. The first was using a distraction to get everypony’s attention and making sure you were somewhere else. The classic example was setting a building on fire on the other side of town. Luster Dawn wasn’t sure why that was a classic example or why Trixie was so quick to go straight to arson as a distraction, but the point was well-taken.
The guard detail keeping an eye on the corridor, for example, was about to be very distracted.
Luster waited to one side of a doorway and grabbed a bouncing ball, casting an illusion spell on it and quickly throwing it down the hallway.
“Oops!” the ball squeaked loudly when it bounced. The next bounce came with the sound of shattering glass. The third was another voice. “I don’t know what went wrong!”
The ball continued down the hall, making more sound as it went. The guards left their post, following the sound and looking for broken windows and injured ponies. Luster Dawn waited until they’d gone around a corner after the bouncing ball and then ducked out into the open.
The second type of stealth was making ponies believe you belonged there, so Luster Dawn tried to look calm and collected as she walked past the abandoned post and deeper into the castle. She walked past a maid without even looking at the pony, just two ships passing in the night, and the maid didn’t notice her - but if she’d been sprinting down the hallway or sneaking from cover to cover, they’d have known something was wrong instantly.
Luster Dawn made it all the way into the other wing of the palace before she had to change tactics.
The third type of stealth was the one most ponies thought of right away, which was why Trixie relegated it all the way to the bottom of the list. It was the art of not being seen. It was certainly a valid type of stealth but also the riskiest - the other two types of stealth allowed a clever pony to talk their way out of being found, but lurking in shadows and ducking behind curtains couldn’t be excused as having gotten lost while looking for the little mare’s room.
Making things more difficult was the fact Luster wasn’t in a place she was very familiar with. If she’d been sneaking into Twilight’s chambers, she’d have known every blind corner and place to hide. She also knew that the magical protection and overlapping guard details would make it all but impossible to sneak in without breaking the castle wards wide open and using teleportation, and both of those were well outside her expertise.
Luster stayed near the wall, pressing against it and trying to stay low and silent. She couldn’t pretend she was lost here. The ponies likely to find her were smart enough that telling them she was trying to find the bathroom would never work, and a distraction here, so close to her target, would only make things worse.
She crept up to the doorway and looked around it, spotting a desk sitting to one side of a wide doorway.
And, luckily, the desk wasn’t occupied.
“Thank Celestia,” Dawn whispered, then immediately put her hooves over her mouth, feeling like an idiot. She ducked inside and ran for the door the desk guarded, throwing a scanning spell at it and half-expecting a ward designed to fry anypony foolish enough to touch the heavy door without permission.
When the scan returned a result, it stopped Luster in her tracks.
“No ward at all?” she whispered, looking up at the massive door. “But why?”
Behind her, down the corridor, she heard the distinctive tread of an armored guard. There was no time to hesitate. Luster pulled the door open as quietly as she could, half-expecting the massive door to creak like an ancient gate to Tartarus. She used her magic to muffle it, holding it as securely as she could like she was cradling an eggshell, closing it behind her when she ran inside and wincing at the sound of the latch clicking into place.
She held her breath, straining her ears, listening for an alert from the guard.
A full minute passed, and she allowed herself to breathe again, gasping for air.
“Too close,” she whispered, turning around.
Captain Tempest Shadow’s office was even creepier with the lights off. She was trespassing and probably breaking a dozen laws, but it was also the best place to find answers to some of her questions. She lit up her horn with a soft glow and trotted over to the wide desk. There were still papers all over it, carefully sorted by the type and subject of the form, and that made everything all too easy.
“Let’s see… guard assignments…” Luster found the pile she was looking for and started flipping through them. Every time a guard was given a new post or assignment, there was a trail of paperwork that showed where they were coming from and where they were going and who was responsible for them every step along the way.
There was one group of ponies she was very interested in - Princess Twilight’s personal guard. No matter where she was going, Captain Shadow would make sure the Princess was well-protected.
“Ah-ha!” Luster pulled one paper out of the stack, reading it over. “This has to be it. So where did they go?”
She scanned down the page and frowned.
“Maremuda?” Luster Dawn tilted her head. “Did Twilight go on vacation? But… she never goes on vacation. And if she did, she could just tell me!”
She was so distracted she almost missed the sound of hooves just outside the door. A quick glance around didn’t make another exit magically appear. She was going to have to think fast, and the first thing that came to mind was a spell Trixie had taught her and she never, ever thought she’d actually have to use.
Captain Shadow walked into her office, looking around for a moment before reaching to the side to flick on the lights. She silently trotted to her desk and sat down, her chair and armor creaking.
A long minute or so passed with Captain Shadow simply sitting there before she spoke up.
“Do you really think I’m that stupid?” she asked. Captain Shadow turned her chair to the inconspicuous cardboard box that had appeared on the other side of the room, where, for example, a panicking pony might have tried to hide. “Really? A box for shipping oranges? Scurvy is a serious disease, but I don’t need that much vitamin C.”
Luster sighed and got out from under the box. “Sorry.”
“I’m more offended that you thought that would work,” Tempest said. “Where did you even find a box that size?”
“Professor Trixie taught us how to apparate cardboard boxes,” Dawn said defensively. She cleared her throat and tried to imitate Trixie’s slight stage accent. “The cardboard box that you have is ideal for fooling your enemies. It's a very important tool for infiltration missions!”
Captain Shadow sighed and shook her head. “Camouflage is the best way to slip past enemy surveillance. But cardboard is just paper when it comes down to it. Don't rely on the trick too many times, either.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Luster Dawn said. “Anyway, I should be going. It was great talking to you again!” She tried to act cool, going for the door and--
Captain Shadow cleared her throat. “Sit.”
Luster Dawn’s tail hit the floor before her brain even had time to process that she was sitting.
“You realize that what you just did was a serious crime, don’t you?” Captain Shadow asked calmly. “I could have you arrested, thrown in a dungeon, and keep you there until your mane turns grey.”
“I would… prefer if you didn’t,” Luster said. She turned around to face Captain Shadow properly.
“Princess Twilight always said you never let anything go until you’d dug up the truth,” Tempest sighed. “You found out where she went?”
“Maremuda,” Luster Dawn said. “Specifically--”
Captain Shadow held up a hoof to stop her. “Yes, fine. You know where she went. But that’s only a tiny part of it.” She smirked, just a little. “I bet you’re curious why it’s so secret.”
Luster paused and thought about it for a moment.
Tempest laughed. “The look on your face. You just realized you only had part of the truth, and now it’s going to bother you.”
“Well… why is it secret?” Luster asked.
“If I tell you, will you swear not to reveal it to another pony?” Captain Shadow asked.
Luster Dawn nodded.
“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna retired there. For now, anyway. We can’t keep their location secret forever, but we’re trying to give them privacy, you understand? They don’t want to be surrounded by guards all the time, but they also don’t want ponies dropping in constantly asking for favors. They want a quiet little life in a villa where they can just enjoy life for a while.”
“And if ponies knew where they were…”
“They’d have to move. Again. It’s happened before. We’re protecting them by keeping their location a state secret. The only ponies who know where they are… are ponies we trust not to abuse the information. You understand?”
“You’re trusting me not to abuse it.”
“Exactly. It’s better than having you dig around and cause even more problems. I mean really, Luster Dawn, attending a party? You think that I’d believe for a moment that you actually intended to stay there?” Captain Shadow scoffed.
“Well…” Luster blushed.
“No offense, but you take after your mentor.” Tempest got up from her chair and walked over to Luster Dawn, offering her a hoof to stand up. “Come on. You found out what you wanted.”
Luster took the hoof and froze, still sitting. “Wait, why did Princess Twilight go to visit Celestia now? And why wouldn’t she just tell me?”
“Princess Twilight visits her more often than you’d think,” Captain Shadow said. “They’re friends, and Princess Celestia was her mentor for most of her life.”
“This isn’t just about a social visit,” Luster Dawn said, standing up. “There are too many other things going on. You’re not a fool, but neither am I. There’s some kind of situation, isn’t there? Something where she thought she needed to talk to Celestia and get advice.”
Captain Shadow sighed and looked away. “It’s being dealt with. And before you offer to help, you’d only get in the way. That’s why Princess Twilight has tried to keep you out of it. There are ponies dealing with it already, and she doesn’t want you thinking you need to be involved in everything yourself.”
“But--”
Tempest Shadow turned to Luster Dawn and put a hoof on her shoulder, giving her a sad, serious look. “When Twilight was your age, all she ever did was go from one disaster to the next. She didn’t understand what she was really missing until she left Canterlot.”
“...I didn’t really know what I was missing until I made friends, either,” Luster admitted.
Tempest nodded. “And right now you’re ignoring your friends, and for what? So you can commit crimes and steal some paperwork so you can try and get involved in a problem that ponies are already dealing with?”
“I guess it’s a little silly, huh?” Luster asked. “I just… wanted to know.”
“It can be hard letting go and letting other ponies take care of problems,” Captain Shadow agreed. “You just have to trust us, okay? We’ve been saving Equestria since before you were born, we can handle whatever comes up. I promise.”
Luster nodded solemnly.
Tempest patted her shoulder again. “Let’s get you back to the party. And if you admit it isn’t your kind of scene, I’ll help you get out of there and you can read a book or something.”
“It wasn’t like this when I left,” Luster Dawn said.
“No. No it wasn’t,” Tempest agreed. “Help me untie the guards.”
The ballroom was in shambles. Tables were overturned in what looked like an attempt to create cover. Banners were torn from the walls. And most worryingly, all of the ponies who should have been at the party were absent, including Phantasma, which worried Luster more than any of the other disappearances.
“Where did they even find duct tape?” Tempest muttered, ripping it off a guard’s muzzle. They’d been left restrained in the middle of the room, hog-tied with velvet rope. “Legionary, report!”
“We didn’t know what to do, Ma’am,” he said. “We didn’t want to use force against foals. We tried talking them down, but--”
“You’re telling me a bunch of unarmed fillies and colts did this to you?” Captain Shadow asked. “You’re trained soldiers!”
“They had an alicorn leading them, Ma’am!”
“Booky,” Luster Dawn groaned.
“Wonderful,” Tempest said. “Where did they go?”
“The throne room,” Luster Dawn said instantly. “I’m sure of it.”
“Untie the others,” Tempest ordered the guard she’d helped. “I’ll take care of this.”
“Are you sure, Captain?”
“Let’s just say dealing with alicorns is part of my resume. Dawn, you’re with me. You might be able to talk them down.”
Luster nodded and followed her as Tempest Shadow ran for the throne room.
“Do we have a plan?” Luster asked.
“Several, but I’m hoping I won’t have to use any of them,” Captain Shadow said. “I’d hate to have to explain why we have several new exhibits in the statue garden when Princess Twilight gets back from her trip!”
Luster swallowed. “Right. Definitely want to avoid that!”
They found the doors to the throne room thrown wide open, and the guards milling around outside, not taking any real action until they saw Captain Shadow coming, at which point the most observant of them saluted.
“Report, Legionary,” Tempest said.
“Technically we’re Privates, Ma’am, Legionary is an archaic term--”
“A report on the situation, not an essay on modern military rank,” Captain Shadow snapped. “A situation you haven’t done anything about apparently, because I can see a tiny purple alicorn sitting on the throne surrounded by teenagers and you’re all out here like you think you’ll somehow get in more trouble trying to do your job then you will now that I’ve found you taking a coffee break during a coup!”
“It’s not like that, Ma’am!” the soldier looked into the throne room. “We can’t use force against children. We’ve been trying to talk them down.”
“Send word to their parents,” Tempest said. “They don’t care what you think, but once they hear daddy is going to cut them off from their inheritance for being seditious traitors, they’ll change their tune.”
“You’re going to tattle on them to their parents?” Luster asked, amused.
“There’s nothing a teenaged noble fears more than facing the prospect of having to actually work for a living,” Captain Shadow said. “You and you, go.” She pointed, and the two guards ran off. “The rest of you… They’re not going to respect you since all you did was stand around and watch while they caused trouble. Go form a perimeter.”
The rest saluted and ran, glad to be out of the immediate area.
Luster felt something tickling at the back of her neck. She looked up to see the Spirit of Harmony perched above the door. The Spirit waved to her.
“...You probably could have stopped this any time you wanted,” Luster said. “Why didn’t you do something?”
The Spirit shrugged, floated down a little, and pointed inside, smiling. Booky was standing on the throne, giving orders to the teenagers. Larrikin was standing at her side placidly. Phantasma spotted Luster and waved frantically.
“You think Booky is cute?” Luster asked.
The Spirit shrugged and blushed.
“Of course she does,” Tempest muttered. “Get in there and try talking her down.”
“Uh, right,” Luster nodded, walking in. The teenagers around the throne watched her approach. One of them stepped forward.
“Show proper deference to the new leader of Equestria!” she said. “Princess Booky!”
Luster bowed a little.
“You may approach,” Booky said, imperiously. “I have to admit, this was all too easy. I thought it would be harder to conquer Equestria. I guess I’m a better leader than I thought.”
Phantasma slowly broke away from the crowd, making her way to Luster’s side to whisper to her.
“She promised them that she’d get them A’s in all their classes and started giving out titles,” Phantasma whispered. “I don’t think she can actually do that, can she?”
“No, she can’t,” Luster said. She cleared her throat. “Okay, everypony, it’s time to stop and go home. You know you’re just going to get in trouble. It might seem like fun now, but in the morning, you’re going to wake up and realize this was a big mistake.”
The teenagers started mumbling to each other, until Booky stomped her hoof.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle has left the throne empty! As an alicorn, I claim it by right of divine succession!” Booky declared.
Luster groaned and felt a headache starting. “That’s not a thing.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a thing from now on,” Booky said. “The thing about rules and regulations is that they only matter if ponies actually do something about them. Look at the royal guards - they didn’t do anything to stop me, all because I had wings and a horn. If that’s not a right to rule, what is?”
“Are we really going to turn this into a philosophical discussion on the right to rule?” Luster asked. “Because to be honest I don’t think I have all that much time to get you to stand down before Captain Shadow decides to solve things very decisively.”
“The point is, this is what I was literally made for,” Booky said. “I was made to take Twilight’s place. How could I possibly resist that when I see the throne left open for anypony with the will to take it? It’s burned into me like your cutie mark is burned into you.”
“But--”
“Are you going to criticize me and tell me you didn’t run off in the middle of the party to try and shed some light on a mystery? Do you want to pretend that wasn’t your cutie mark driving you to action?”
Luster couldn’t resist the urge to glance at her own flank. “Yeah, I guess it was. And it got me into trouble, too. That’s what happens when we just follow something blindly.”
“What’s your point?” Booky asked, frowning.
“...I spent this whole trip thinking about how I’d use it,” Luster said. She looked around at the teenagers. “I lied to the ponies I cared about because I wanted them to think I was cooler than I was. The truth is, I don’t really know anypony here. All the classes I took were advanced classes, and the other students were practically twice my age! Or at least that’s how it felt. I couldn’t make friends and I didn’t even understand why it mattered until I met ponies like Phantasma.”
Luster Dawn held out her hoof, and took Phantasma’s.
“That’s why I decided to stay for a while. I was really enjoying getting to know creatures my own age. Or close enough. I think Ibis is like a thousand years old or something.”
“She still wants to be our friend,” Phantasma said quietly.
Luster nodded. “Yeah! And I should have remembered how important my friends were to me. You’re important to Larrikin and that should have been enough to make me want to get to know you, too. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder, but we can change that.”
Booky scoffed and looked away.
“I don’t think you’re really enjoying this either,” Luster continued. “I mean, you and the Spirit of Harmony only just started living your own lives. You were stuck in a hole in the ground and she’s a tree.”
The Spirit cleared her throat, and waved a little.
“A treehouse now, right,” Luster corrected. “Do you really want to spend that new chance like this? Trying to take over Equestria with an army of teenagers? I mean, the second some real resistance shows up, this is all over.”
“I had fun hanging out with you in the forest,” Larrikin added. “When we were hunting down all the other magic sticks.”
“I mean… I guess I enjoyed that,” Booky admitted. “And it’s been nice not having anypony trying to boss me around.”
“You say that, but you’re still getting bossed around,” Luster said. “You said you were doing what you were made for. That means whoever made you is still giving you orders even if they’re not around.”
“I--” Booky frowned and rubbed her chin. Then she stomped her hoof, annoyed. “That’s-- you’re right.” She growled. “I hate to admit it, but you’re right. If I’m just doing this because it’s what I was created for, I’m just being a tool.”
“I know what that’s like,” Captain Shadow said, stepping into the throne room. “I’ve been there before. I’ve been right here in this castle, victorious over my enemies. Standing tall. And when I realized I was going it all for someone else? Someone who didn’t care about me?” Tempest shook her head sadly.
“You should listen to her,” Larrikin said. “You’re really cool, Booky. I don’t want you to get in trouble and end up banished to the moon!” Larrikin paused, and their stomach rumbled. “Also I’m getting kinda hungry. I haven’t eaten in almost an hour.”
Booky scoffed and repeated her minion’s words. “Almost an hour,” she muttered. She hopped down from the throne. “Fine. I’m done. This is getting boring and I didn’t really have much of a plan anyway.”
“Does that mean we can go get a snack?” Larrikin asked.
“Ugh. Yes! We’ll get you a snack!” Booky rolled her eyes, took a few steps, then looked back up at the throne. Luster could see it written all over her, that empty feeling of walking away from something important.
“Wait, where are you going?” one of the teenagers stepped in front of Booky. “What about our titles? What about my grades?”
Booky rolled her eyes. “Do I look like I care? I just said all that to get you to follow me. If you want better grades, study. If you want a title… I don’t know. Do something heroic.” She shoved the teenaged filly out of the way, stomping past her with Larrikin in tow and going right out of the room.
Within an hour, order had been restored. Parents were called in, and a lot of young ponies were in more trouble than they ever expected. Luster Dawn wasn’t even the one being screamed at and part of her still wanted to curl up somewhere and die after apologizing to everypony in Equestria.
“Are they really going to end up going to prison?” she asked, watching the last few of them being led away.
Captain Shadow snorted. “You really think I’d throw fillies and colts into the dungeons?”
“You threatened to do it to me.”
“I was reminding you of the consequences of your actions,” Tempest corrected. “I don’t threaten ponies, I tell them facts and let them decide how to act on them. Besides, it isn’t like we haven’t had this happen before.”
“...You’ve had students attempt a coup before?”
Tempest shrugged. “For some reason it seems like every unicorn in Equestria goes through a phase like this, where they want to be evil and overthrow the government, assume absolute power, ascend to the godhead, that kind of thing.”
The Spirit looked up at that and wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yes, and some of them even change their names to something scary and ominous,” Tempest Shadow muttered. “But that’s not important. The important thing is, nopony got hurt this year. I’ll make them write letters of apology and make them think they’re getting off easy.”
“Wait, I never did anything evil,” Luster said. “So not all unicorns do it!”
“You’re just a late bloomer,” Phantasma assured her. “I’m sure someday you’ll become an evil overlord. Just remember to ask for help from all of your friends first. Imagine if you tried to conquer Equestria with no plan!”
“We’ve seen how well that goes,” Captain Shadow said. “Personally, I’d prefer if you didn’t turn evil at all, but if you do, I’ll make sure to stop you very gently.”
“Thanks, I think,” Luster muttered.
“It’s just too bad we didn’t get to meet any of your real Canterlot friends,” Phantasma said. “There must have been somepony you were friends with.”
“The only ponies I even really talked to were my teachers,” Luster Dawn admitted. “I didn’t go out, I didn’t talk to the other students, but I’d do extra credit with the teachers, help them with grading…” she shrugged.
“That sounds like friendship to me,” Tempest said. “Somepony can be your teacher and your friend.”
“Well… I guess it’s not so different,” Luster admitted. “But I haven’t even written to them since I left Canterlot.”
“I’ve got an idea,” Phantasma said.
Luster Dawn knocked nervously on the door. “Professor Taxonomy?”
“Come in!”
Luster opened the door. The older mare behind the desk looked up, and her expression brightened when she saw who it was.
“Miss Dawn! I haven’t seen you in months!” Taxonomy got up to greet her, shaking her hoof. “My classes on Chimeric Biology haven’t been the same without you there.”
“They’re probably quieter,” Luster countered.
“Unfortunately, you’re right. Nopony asks questions, at least not intelligent ones. How have you been since your transfer to the School of Friendship?” She sat down, moving a stack of papers aside so she could give Luster all of her attention.
“Good. I’ve been making friends.”
“And uncovering cults.”
“Well, yeah,” Luster giggled. “But that was almost on accident.”
“Are your friends the ones waiting outside and pretending they’re not listening in?” Taxonomy asked.
Luster nodded.
“Invite them in, if you don’t mind them hearing stories about how you were my favorite student before you got stolen away by that other school.” She winked. “Maybe we can tell them about your third-year thesis about how a centaur’s digestive system works.”
“The paper would have been better if Princess Twilight had actually let me depetrify Tirek to ask him some questions.”
“Ooh!” Larrikin padded in. “I heard about Tirek! Why wouldn’t she depetrify him? I bet it would be really neat to talk to him!”
“Please, he was almost as bad as my creator,” Booky snorted. “And she was a total drama queen. Emphasis on queen. It’s a pun.”
“The focus on her paper was actually about how a centaur could possibly get enough calories when they have such a small mouth for a relatively large body mass,” Professor Taxonomy explained. “It was a fascinating paper.”
“And entirely unprovable unless somepony wants to make an expedition to Tirek’s homeland,” Luster sighed.
“Like I told you before, that’s the kind of thing you need grant money for. It means waiting until you’re at least a grad student.”
“I know, I know,” Luster said.
“Patience is important, and even when Princess Twilight was a student, she had to go through the regular grant process. I’d love to hear about what you’ve been studying since you left, though. How did you get to know a kelpie? They’re extraordinarily rare in this part of Equestria.”
Booky cleared her throat. “And alicorns.”
“This is Canterlot,” Taxonomy scoffed. “We’ve got alicorns.”
“We’ve got--” Booky repeated. She huffed. Somepony started laughing.
Everypony looked at the Spirit of Harmony, who was doubled up and laughing uncontrollably.
The train back to Ponyville chugged along, the low light of dusk turning the whole sky orange. Luster Dawn was almost pacing up and down the private car Captain Tempest had gotten for them, and insisted they use, and escorted them to, personally, to make sure they actually got onboard and left Canterlot. There were no actual warnings or threats, but her goodbyes were very pointed about how she was required to give a day’s warning before coming back.
“You’ll love Professor Taxonomy’s class,” Luster said, still excited. “I really hope Princess Twilight lets her teach at the school, even if it’s just a few classes! I learned so much about monster biology from her, and she always made it fun by bringing in live specimens for discussion.”
Phantasma raised her eyebrows. “She brought monsters into class?”
“It was safe, they were more or less tame,” Luster said. “It’s no different than how Miss Fluttershy sometimes brings animal friends, but instead of a bear or an albatross it’s more like… manticores.”
“Manticores sound fun,” Larrikin said.
The Spirit of Harmony agreed, nodding.
“They’re actually really interesting,” Luster said. “Did you know they can launch the stinger in their tail like an arrow? They don’t like doing it because it takes a long time to grow back, but a lot of ponies don’t know about it and it takes them by surprise.”
“The last surprise they ever have,” Booky quipped.
“Well, yeah. But the manticore gives plenty of warning before doing it, so really it’s almost the pony’s own fault.”
“Does anypony else smell smoke?” Larrikin asked.
“Come to think of it, yeah,” Luster said. “Do you think there’s a problem with the engine?”
“There better not be,” Booky growled. “I don’t want to be stuck on this stupid train all night if they messed up the boiler.”
“I don’t think it’s coming from the train,” Phantasma said, staring out the window as they came around the mountain bend. “Look!”
She pointed towards Ponyville. Everypony ran over to that side of the train car to look. If not for the orange light of the setting sun, they would have seen it even sooner. Flames rose into the sky from a massive fire, so bright the light reached all the way to the clouds above, flickering against the undersides of stormclouds even while smoke rose up to mix with them.
The Everfree Forest was on fire.