//------------------------------// // Adverse Abode // Story: Anamnesis // by Background Bystander //------------------------------// A group had gathered at an unsuspecting country home, whose foundation was fertilized atop a hill overlooking a painted lake of orange. The house repeated the same materials as those back in town; a single story, a handful of rooms, both of necessity and leisure. Windows wiped to be crystal clear, allowing the inhabitants to experience the full satisfaction of a stunning sunrise, as well as the various plants sitting idly in their sills. The property held a somewhat peaceful presence within it, something that could be said for the other houses all over town, but each owner finds a specific detail that makes theirs shine the most. The one thing that separates them from all the rest. For now, that was the door carved in an alien hand, etching a sequence of numbers… 5-1-5-0 Standing outside was a quartet of mares with a solidarity stallion standing as their guest vocalist. None of them were singing on key, as a frustrated farmer was overpowering their newest members, who themselves with struggling to stay in sync with each other, much less matching the other mares. “It was a self-defense situation, you must understand.” Louis said about as calm as he could, attempting to make his case. “Self-defense? You call throwing mah family’s stock all over the orchards self-defense?” Her nostrils flared as she held up her own evidence, the mutilated mush of what was once a proud red apple. “Listen, man, if there is a situation where my life is in danger, the methods in which I defend myself are irrelevant, alright?” Louis stated. “This act on my life, this hit and run, will not stand…nor will it fly.” “Irrelevant?” She repeated with a shout. “You stripped countless rows and torn up chunks of the fields! What was sooo dangerous to your life ya needed do all that to keep it away?” “Doctors.” “What?” “It was me, Applejack,” She turned to Ambrose, “I’m the one he was afraid of. I was looking for him earlier and spooked him on accident, ended up having to chase him all through the orchard just to calm him down. I didn’t know he threw around that many apples, sorry for the damages.” Applejack was studying over his statement, poking and prodding like a polygraph. Ambrose couldn’t blame her, kinda hard to trust someone when they and their paranoid friend start screwing with your property when all you’re trying to do is make an honest day pay. That was something he could relate to, seeing as he was the only one making any sort of salary. But he didn’t pass completely, as her stern eyes remained which the rest of her face softened, “And why did you two pick mah land to have your little cat and mouse game?” “We were all looking for him, Applejack,” This time Twilight chimed in, “We’ve been searching all over Ponyville for quite a while now. We were originally at Sugarcube Corner getting a late afternoon snack after a quick tour around town, and let’s just say Pinkie was acting a little too…Pinkie at the time.” She finished sheepishly looking at Louis. “…Ah, I see,” Applejack cleared her throat. “Well, I can’t say I totally blame ya. She can be quite ah hoof-full when you’re first getting to know her. I remember when I did,” She shuddered slightly. “So much confetti, thought ah never get rid of it.” That didn’t comfort Louis as much as she intended, “You mean to tell me that’s how she is normally?” All three nodded in unison, “Oooh man…” He groaned. Now I have to be on the lookout for some psycho pony on an eternal sugar high. “But don’t worry, her Pinkie-ness dials down over time. She’s just extra friendly when it comes to newcomers, that’s all.” Starlight tried to amend, which still had the opposite effect on him. Now he was being told he was just going to have to tolerate her and wait for the impact of her insanity to become numb until he felt nothing anymore. Maybe that’s why she’s so hyper. She was taking everyone else’s energy. Applejack grunted upon hearing her comment, muttering to herself, “You wanna talk about ponies getting friendly, ooo-wee…” After a brief discussion, Louis and Ambrose managed to make up their messy introduction with Applejack, but it came at a cost. To compensate for the carnage caused on her farm, they were now saddled with a debt of bits… …Bits of what exactly they weren’t sure, as she needed to take inventory of apples lost, as well as further damage to her land, equipment, and soiled…soil. Once that was accounted for, she would send them a letter with the total amount. All in all, they ended their first encounter far more friendly than anticipated. With a tip of her hat and a flick of her tail, Applejack walked back home, whistling along the way. The Lights were a different story, seeing as they had made complete asses of themselves on their first real outing in this world. If this one was terrible, who knows what kind of travesties occurred in the tall tale made up in Pinkie’s head. And with one of their known associates being an alicorn princess of all friendship, they would be severe consequences for causing a not-so-friendly scene. “Whew, what a day,” Twilight huffed, “Not everypony’s introduction to Ponyville is that adventurous…or tiresome,” She added, shaking out her wings. “Or should I just call it sightseeing? Since you two have already moved in with your welcoming party from Pinkie-“ “We’re sorry to you, as well.” Ambrose said, which caught her by surprise. “Huh?” “Really, we are. We’re sorry for making you go through all of this when you first found us in the Everfree. You girls gave us a nice room in the castle, a warm breakfast, and even a personal tour of the town. All of this was so nice. The fact we’d already moved in had completely slipped my mind at that moment. We didn’t want to be rude, so we didn’t correct ourselves when we really should’ve.” “And we weren’t exactly the best guests on that tour either…” Louis added, “We made complete fools of ourselves today, especially when it came to your friends,” He looked to the ground in shame, “Making a scene a Sugarcube, and then going on to destroy Applejack’s fields…” “We know it won’t change anything now, but we really are sorry,” Ambrose looked down. “And we’re ready for whatever punishment you two have planned.” The two mares didn’t respond to either of them, just blank stares shooting out from their big, glassy eyes. They couldn’t find any emotion on the equines, most likely in shock their peasantry could be so keen at bending the knee in the face of peril. They were just as surprised themselves, but there’s not much they could do in their current state; Ambrose only had wings, and he’d just started flying a few hours ago, Louis being story when working his magic. These two were obviously far more skilled in their senses, one of them obtaining both of their abilities, so there’s no way they would win in that department. Perhaps Ambrose could outclass them when it came to strength. However, hitting any form of hierarchy would just result in a more severe sentence. Just bite the bullet, deal with this aftermath, and see if they can get out in one piece. The mares made their decision, with their eyes shifting to look at each other. Then a giggle. Then a snort. Then they burst out laughing, making Louis and Ambrose look at each other in confusion. “…No no no, you got it all wrong, we’re not mad at you!” Starlight composed herself enough to say. “Y-You’re not?” Ambrose asked, looking up nervously. “Not at all! That’s what I was trying to tell you back at Sugarcube, Mellow.” “And even if we were, did you really think we were gonna throw you in a dungeon because of a few mishaps?” Twilight joked. “I, well-um…maybe?” “Please, those are minuscule compared to what we usually have to deal with.” Starlight said, waving a hoof. “Yeah, you didn’t even try to drain Ponyville of all it’s magic for your own evil schemes, or attempt to take us over from within using your own personal army,” Twilight giggled, “All you did really was surprise Pinkie and throw a couple apples around.” “Those are oddly specific scenarios,” Louis said, looking at her with slight confusion. “But I guess it wasn’t that catastrophic.” “Plus, the whole staying at the castle thing was really our idea,” Starlight corrected, “It’s no big deal, honestly. I’ve learned it does you good to help somepony else in need from time to time, and find a way to sprinkle some happiness into their lives.” As she said this, her horn sparkled, pulling out the bag she’d kept safe at Ambrose’s request. Though it was really more of an order. Ambrose was rather pleased with this, “Well-well-well, so you did keep an eye on them, how sweet of you.” He joked, causing a casual eye-roll from Starlight. “I thought you guys would’ve just eaten mine yourselves, man. Thanks for holding onto it.” Louis said this with a genuine smile, which didn’t go unnoticed by the mares. “Of course! Anything for a friend.” Starlight responded cheerfully, laying the bag at his hooves. Louis’s eyes opened fully. “We’re…friends now?” “Sure…well, we’d really like to be at least. You two seem like nice ponies, aside from when you’re not causing destruction of property.” Twilight said. “How about it then, friends?” Louis looked to Ambrose, who gave him a just go with it shrug, “Sure…friends.” He nodded. “Great!” Twilight looked starward, seeing them begin to speckle the sky, “We should get going now, Spike’s probably wondering what we’re doing out this late, and you probably want us out of your manes,“ She chuckled. “You two get some rest now, see you soon!” They both gave a wink to the pony they spent the most time with that day. “Oh, and one more thing, I suggest you get on Applejack’s good side sooner rather than later, could get you some pretty good deals come harvest time. Wink-wink.” Starlight added slyly. And with a flash, they finally disappeared. Louis exhaled in relief. “About time they left, one more second of that and I was gonna explode,” He turned to Ambrose. “So…about that whole she-demon thing…” “Inside.” Ambrose ordered, pointing a stern hoof. “Inside. Sit down. No more freaking out.” Louis’s ears splayed as he shambled to the front door, only to realize the most obvious problem. “…We don’t have a key.” Ambrose thought for a second. “Check the mat.” Louis lifted the mat and surprise-surprise, guess what was there. He groaned as he took the key within his magic and cranking it in the lock. “Open sesame.” Giving the door an unenthused push. As it slowly panned over, they took note of the house’s structure, furnishings, and other knick-knacks people feel the need to fill their homes with to make them whole. This first room was a living room, with a couch placed against the wall as a few windows helped the single light hanging above illuminate the room, showing shelves and pictured placed along the walls. Two walkways were present, one for a kitchen and another leading down a hallway. And right smack dab in the middle of the room was a coffee table. With a baking sheet. With a baking sheet holding a very certain set of sweets. Brownies. “I take it back. You can freak out now.” “The same! The same, it’s all the fucking same!” Louis screamed as he scurried all over the house, checking every cabinet and searching every shelf. And he was right, everything about this house was an exact carbon copy of the one they were just removed from, say the exception of digital appliances; most notably the TV, which had been replaced with a pair of bookshelves and an oriental fireplace. But other than those slight changes, it was almost like they never left. Ambrose sat motionless in the middle of the living room. His living room. The one he’d been living in for years, something he’d worked long and hard for, a monument to all his efforts throughout his life. Every last follicle of fur was standing on end. His skeleton was beginning to shake. For the first time during this ordeal, even when the transformation first started, did he feel small. Completely out of control. Powerless. And it was the most horrifying feeling he’d ever felt in his entire life. “Everything’s the same!” Louis snatched him out of his thoughts, shaking him by the shoulders, “Every-fucking-thing! It’s-they know…they fucking know, man,” He took on a grave tone, eyes glistening slightly, “They…they know who we are…what we are. We’re…we’re not getting out of here. Everything about us…they…” He slumped, his head collapsing onto Ambrose’s chest, “Why? Why us…what have we done to deserve this-this hell-at the whim of these pony things? I don’t understand…I just…why?” He finally broke, the damage to the dam of his mind was far too great. Crumbling into a hysterical heap, wrapping his hooves around Ambrose as he began to cry uncontrollably. Ambrose didn’t say anything, slowly putting his arms around Louis as well, causing him to squeeze even tighter, “H-home…” He whispered through his weeping, “…I wanna go…home…” “I…I know Lou,” Ambrose tried to comfort him, “Me too…me too…” Subconsciously, he’d spread his wings and draped them around Louis, suppressing some of the shakes. “…This is it, we’re f-fucked, m-man…” Louis continued to mutter to himself, “Amby…we can’t…I can’t…” There was nothing they could do, no way to fight back. Ambrose wanted to tell him he would be ok, that they were gonna make it out of this, but the last thing they needed was lie to each other. He was mistaken in his idea to mosey through their town at first before coming up with a real plan. They had full control from the very start, these ponies were world warping force to be reckoned with. He felt his ears twitch as they’d sensed a new sound, a soft whinnying from his chest mixed in with the sniffs and tears. He was slightly confused…until he felt one of his hooves slowly make its way through Louis’s mane, his spine shivering with each stroke, “…oh…oops.” Ambrose murmured, realizing he’d been petting Louis. He went to pull his arm away, hearing a small cry of protest from the pony before him. “No…it’s ok, it feels really nice…” Louis whimpered, closing his eyes as he nuzzled Ambrose’s chest, “…keep going, please.” He remembered something similar occurred in his head before, but at this point he couldn’t care anymore. With all of these terrible events in reality, bringing in a moment of bliss from his dreams would do just fine. Ambrose silently agreed as his arm raked once more down his mane. His face slightly red from the whole affair, considering he was tending to Louis like an animal. A very…fluffy animal. He didn’t know if it had something to do with the fact he was a unicorn or what, but his coat was incredibly cozy. Super soft, almost like that of a stuffed toy. Better fit for a child’s bedroom rather than the harsh work horses are usually subjected to. Though for a unicorn, that didn’t seem too big of an issue. Most farm type jobs seemed to be reserved for normal horses, while the unicorns were busy tending to storefronts or restaurants of a some variety. They’d sat there for a few minutes in solace until Ambrose’s arm swung a little too high, scrapping Louis’s ear. Louis jumped in shock, flashing out of his grasp and reappearing behind the couch, “Don’t!” He shouted with intense worry in his voice, “Just…don’t touch me there. Brings up bad visions, man.” Ambrose’s wings folded as the rest of his body slumped, “No no, don’t be upset, you didn’t know…no way you could’ve. Just…” He looked over to the hall, “I need to go get some things, be right back.” He muttered as he made his way through the house. Ambrose watched as he rounded the corner, leaving him alone in the living room. Though Louis had left his grasp, he could still feel the warmth of body spread out all around him; down his arms, along the tips of his wings, and most prominently his chest. He stared down, watching the slight cycling motions of his breathing, the thermal presence moving with the contractions of his ribcage. A hoof slowly moved its way upward, coming to rest on his heart. The faint pumps filled his body with a very perplexing sensation. His whole body had been overcome by this sense of satisfaction. Relief. Like he’d done something he’d wanted to do…again, for a very, very long time. In all of this turmoil, it was the single action that’d finally brought him something to cling on to, as the blush on his face remained unmoved. Why was this here, and why now of all times? It was something she couldn’t answer. Gah! Ambrose quickly stood up. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m here for one day, and I’m already letting my nerves take over. He shook his head, going over and sitting on the couch. “Hey-hey!” Louis said in a slightly chipper tone, appearing from the hallway, “Gotta give one thing to those ponies, not missing a detail can actually have its perks.” He jumped into the room, tossing the tray of the cursed pastries aside and throwing a box on the coffee table. It had a label, scrawled out in a cheap marker with an unsteady hand, Only smoke in case of emergency. Taking a long, very much needed drag, Louis attempted to inhale as much as he could, filling his lungs to the brim and only puffing out a pint amount. “Ahh…that’s more like it…” He sighed, leaning back on the couch. He turned the Ambrose, “Would you like to have a word with Miss Mary Jane here?” He waved a hoof in rejection, “Nah, I think it’s best I don’t have any of that right now.” Louis shrugged, “Hmph, well I think it’s best for the both of us that I have one of these right now. Absolutely in our best interest,” He said in a much calmer tone, “Alright…I think we can both agree, the plan of playing along wasn’t a perfect plan.” “Agreed,” Ambrose responded, “It wasn’t much of a plan anyway.” “If anyone was playing anybody, it was them. Shit, man, they played us good…played us like fucking fiddles.” “Played us like fools.” “Yeah, that too, I certainly acted like one,” Louis looked to the ceiling, “I…you were right. Panicking and spazzing out wasn’t gonna get us anything. Feels like we just repeated what happened yesterday, still somewhere unknown, with those two ponies, and ending up in debt at the end of the day once more.” Making a sweeping motion with his arms for dramatics before taking another hit. It was a bit awkward trying to keep the joint in his muzzle, but it still managed to work. “Right back where we started…” Ambrose looked around the room, “I guess going home is off the table now, seeing as home was brought here,” Dim smile, “Never thought I’d be so unnerved by the sight of my own house.” Louis slowly exhaled, smoke billowing out from the strands in his face, “So…why us then? I don’t see them trying to snatch anyone else from Earth. There’s still eight billion lumbering around and still growing. Wouldn’t exactly call them the most successful aliens when it comes to abductions…I mean, I don’t look like a cow, do I?” He eyed his spotted coat. “Who knows, maybe we’re the lucky ones.” “I prefer unlucky. I don’t have hands anymore.” “You have a horn, Lou.” Ambrose pointed to his forehead. Louis looked up, “So?” “You can still levitate stuff, it’s basically the same thing,” Ambrose pondered for a second, “…And you can teleport!” “I don’t mean to,” Louis coughed, “I don’t have any control over that, man, it just…happens, like if I go thinking about something this way and then do another thing I can-oh man, this is insane, listen to ourselves! Look at ourselves, we’re ponies!” “Lou, we’ve already been through this-“ “I’m just saying!” Louis cut off, “You can fly…I can control magic, just a day ago, we were humans…physically at least. It’s-there’s still a lot to process here.” He finished, propping his head upon the arm of the couch. Ambrose shifted a bit, “Yeah, it’s…pretty crazy.” Louis caught his tone, looking him over with a suspicious gaze, “…You enjoyed flying, didn’t you, Amby?” His eyes widened, “W-Who me?” He looked away, “Well, I don’t know, maybe…kinda sorta.” “Yeeeaaaah you did,” Louis said, laying down on the couch, his head at Ambrose’s seated hooves, “You like using these wings of yours, having the soft winds whip all around you…your mane blowing behind you as you go faster…faster…faster-“ “Ok fine!” Ambrose threw his hooves up, “I like flying, alright? You got me! For the five fucking minutes I was up there, happy?” “Awww,” Louis stroked a wing like a giddy parent, “My little Amby took his first flight. I’m so proud of you!” He blew a little smoke up into Ambrose’s face, “I can picture it now, seeing you prancing about the clouds like the petite little pony you are!” “Only to get knocked down by some asshole throwing apples at me,” Ambrose looked down at him, “Hmm, perhaps he’s jealous of my aerial capabilities.” He finished smugly. Louis pointed up at him with a silly smile, “Just you wait, man. One day I’m gonna go and get a pair of wings just like Twilight, then I’ll be right up there with you. I’ll become my own form of royalty, the Prince of apple throwing!” They both laughed for a while; a mixture between their utterly ridiculous situation and the introduction of foreign substances sustained an atmosphere of pure hilarity. It nearly made them forget where they were for a moment. Nearly. Until a horse snort sounded off between the two, causing them to quickly calm down. “Ok…ok,” Louis gasped through the giggles, “We need to get an actual plan here before we start enjoying all of this too much.” The obvious thing would be how to get off of this…planet? Dimension? Maybe, just maybe, it was still somehow connected to the psychedelics and they were just overreacting? …No, don’t go thinking like that, you’ll just get more of the same… “I say…we handle this debt to the farmer first. At least that’s something real, and achievable, for the time being.” Louis said, sitting up on the couch, “While we’re doing that, we can start scheming on how we can get ourselves out of here.” Ambrose nodded, “Sounds reasonable…” He sat there for a moment, letting the reality of that situation take into effect, “…We gotta get jobs.” “That’s if someone’s willing to hire me this time around, man. Instead of looking at these pesky things like criminal records and previous work experience, I can be a very valuable asset to whoever’s looking.” Louis responded. “Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s some pony out there looking for your…skills,” Ambrose said, “I highly doubt American rap sheets-“ “Falsely accused!” “…Falsely accused rap sheets are going to carry over through magic pony land,” He scratched his chin, “Rainbow Dash mentioned something about a weather team, I’ll ask her if I can join in on that.” Louis dropped what was left of the joint in an ashtray, “Guess I could go over and ask Twilight if she’s got something I can do…think she mentioned about me cooking another time, guess I could be a chef for her? Or maybe she needs a-uh…dragon-sitter? Couldn’t be that hard, maybe he’s like a dog.” “A dog that thinks and talks for itself,” Ambrose said, “Oh yeah, and he can burn you to a crisp.” “Just a bump in the road, Amby.” “Whatever, it’s your funeral...literally.” The two sat quietly for a while, now letting this new scheme solidify in their minds. Remove all distractions from their lives, then focus the rest of your resources on their primary goal of getting back home. It was a way of thinking introduced to them by those with far more experience playing the world's games. You let little problems stack onto each other over and over; suddenly, you’ll find yourself crushed under the weight of complications of your own creation. The single straw that snaps the camel’s back, guess it would be the pony’s back this time around. Speaking of which, there was…one thing they’d wanted to talk about, something they’d waited till it was just the two of them to discuss… “I feel like we’re forgetting about something.” Ambrose thought out loud. “Are we?” Louis asked him, “Uh…oh yeah! The cupcakes!” He snatched the bag in his aura, ripping out the two treats in question, “I’ve had my fill of brownies for a long time, time for a real snack!” Ambrose smiled, “Yes! Quick gimmie mine, I’ve wanted to eat it all night!”