The Equestrian Odyssey - A Tale of Two Worlds

by Kamahido


Chapter 22 - Going All Out

The battle rages on as Tugem rejoins them. Decimus looks over to the pile of rubble.

“So long, Hawthorne. You’ll be missed.”

Clearly confused, the Storm King raises an eyebrow. “Why? Was he useful?”

The Angel of Darkness shrugs. “Not really. Now let’s focus on the big picture, shall we?”

Decimus grins at Tempest. “You two do that. It looks like I have some work to do.”

He looks to the Storm King as he picks up what’s left of his device.

“You’re going to miss all the fun.”

“Do you two have ANY idea how long it’s going to take to rebuild this thing?!”

The Angel of Darkness frowns. “A better question would be, do we care?”

Decimus shrugs. “Kinda. Okay, not really, no.”

The Storm King shakes his head and chuckles as a dark portal opens in front of him. “Oh well. At least it went out with a BANG!”

He steps through as is gone. Meanwhile, Trixie runs out of Light’s Hope to join the others. Rutherford sees her and calls out.

“Brave pony warrior come to join the fun!”

Trixie hurries over to him. “Something like that! Where’s Decimus?!”

Rutherford points a hoof toward the Storm King. “He was just over there with strange looking ape thing!”

“Trixie has to stop him!”

“Wait, brave pony! There no reason to go alone!”

“This is between him and Trixie!”

“Yak understand. Yak help you get there!”

Brightwing lands next to Rutherford.

“I’ll help you too!”

Trixie looks confused. “How?”

Brightwing smiles a toothy smile. “By clearing a path.”

Rutherford nods. “Yah! Hop on yak’s back and we get you there!”

Trixie nods and gets on.

“Hang on tight! Here we go!”

Brightwing takes flight. She soars high into the sky to gain momentum before doing a backflip and diving downward. Careening down she levels off about twenty feet above the ground and lets loose a stream of magical fire. The enemy instinctively steps back. Rutherford charges forward through the cleared path and makes a beeline for Decimus. Meanwhile, Arc turns to Twilight as he dispatches several shadow creatures in one blow.

“We need to get Tempest, or whatever she is now, under control! Can you and the others use the Elements on her?!”

Twilight frowns as she blasts a foe of her own with her magic. “Not without Fluttershy we can’t!”

Ember frowns. “Where’d she run off to?!”

Rainbow Dash shrugs. “She just told us to wait for her!”

Applejack bucks an adversary of her own. “Well, I don’t think we’re going to last too long like this!”

Rarity grits her teeth as she knocks away several creatures with her magic. “But we HAVE to!”

Pinkie giggles as she blasts a creature with her party cannon. “Yeah! If we don’t stop them here, the orphanage is right down the path!”

Sereb growls. “As is Ponyville.”

Arc turns to face another brute. “Well, I hope she gets back soon then! Our forces can’t hold out much longer!”

Shining Armor looks overhead. “Another dragon?!”

Ember shakes her head. “That’s just Brightwing.”

“That little thing?! How…?!”

Sereb slashes at several foes. “We can explain later.”

Arc sighs. “Yeah! Kinda.”

Meanwhile, several larger shadow creature prepare to defend their masters as they block Rutherford’s advance.

“YAK SMASH!”

Trixie jumps on Rutherford’s helmet and holds onto the horns. “Give it everything you have, sir!”

Rutherford nods. He crashes into the creatures as they grind him to a stop. Trixie lets go. Using his momentum, she narrows her eyes and hurls toward Decimus. He turns just in time to see her smash into him. The pair roll along the ground for a few moments before Trixie lands on his chest upright. She wastes no time hoofing him in the face. Her opponent quickly regains his wits and backhoofs her.

“Get OFF!”

Trixie lands some distance away as the Angel of Darkness turns to Decimus.

“You alright?”

Decimus quickly gets to his hooves. “I’m fine.”

She looks over to Trixie as she slowly gets up.

“Want me to have her finished off?”

Decimus shakes his head as he draws his blade. “No. She’s mine. Keep focusing on our offensive while I take care of this nuisance.”

The Angel of Darkness chuckles as she turns back to watch the battle before her. “Have fun, my love.”

Decimus smiles wickedly at Trixie as she looks at him defiantly. “Oh, I shall.”

He charges at her, blade at the ready.

“Come on, stupid unicorn! Let’s end this!”

Trixie steps forward as she draws her own weapon. “Trixie agrees.”

Decimus lunges forward. Trixie Blinks behind him and blasts her opponent in the back. He recovers quickly and again turns to face his assailant.

“It looks like the stupid unicorn might have learned a trick or two.”

Trixie watches her opponent steadily. “Perhaps Trixie has.”

Decimus laughs. “So the simpleton CAN be taught!”

“You will see that Trixie is not the same mare you beat up some time ago, you monster!”

Decimus walks slowly toward her. “That may be. But I believe YOU’LL find that neither AM I!”

Without warning Decimus lunges at Trixie. With no chance to evade she takes the blow and flies into a nearby tree. Ember looks over.

“I guess Decimus finally got restless.”

Arc calls to her. “Who’s he fighting?”

Shining Armor looks over from his own opponents. “Hopefully someone big, like Prince Rutherford.”

Sereb frowns. “Trixie.”

Twilight turns to Sereb. “What about her?”

“She is currently engaging Decimus.”

Rainbow Dash gasps. “What?! Impossible!”

With a powerful flap of her wings Rainbow Dash takes off. She looks over the din of the battle to see Trixie slowly getting up as Decimus walks toward her. Quickly she returns to the others.

“Sereb’s right! Decimus is going right for her!”

Shining Armor grimaces. “WHAT?! She can’t hope to take him on! I have to help her!”

“No! You stay here and command the battle! I’ll help Trixie!”

Ember nods. “Me too, Arc!”

Sereb bares his teeth. “As will I.”

“Stay here, Ember. Sereb and I will…!”

“Not a chance! Decimus and I have a score to settle. Just like Trixie!”

“Ember…”

She runs past him. “Come on, or I’ll leave you behind!”

Arc groans as he chases after her. “Great… Twilight, you and the others hold them here!”

“Be careful!”

Rainbow Dash calls out after them. “Yeah! But kick his ugly flank!”

“We will!”

As they run off Rarity turns to Applejack.

“They’ll be alright… won’t they?”

Applejack nods as she bucks yet another assailant. “Of course. You need to have more faith in Arc’s choices.”

Rarity sighs as she blasts an enemy behind Applejack. “I suppose. But nopony is right all the time.”

Meanwhile, Arc, Sereb and Ember slash, claw, bite, and inch their way through the enemy throngs.

“Keep pushing! We have to get over there!”

Ember turns to Arc as she takes down several foes. “Easier said than done!”

Sereb nods as he knocks away several opponents with a few swings of his paws. “Indeed. This will be an uphill fight.”

Ember spreads her wings. “I’ll fly over and help Trixie!”

As she lifts off Arc grabs her tail and pulls her back down.

“Oh no you don’t.”

Ember frowns. “And why not?!”

Sereb turns to Ember. “We need to be together for this.”

“Right. Without your help Sereb and I won’t be able to push through this.”

“That and you cannot stand against both Decimus and Tempest in that form.”

Ember frowns. “Says you!”

“Stick with the plan! We’ll make it there soon!”

Meanwhile, Trixie and Decimus square off again. He points his blade at her.

“If you’d like to run away, now is the time.”

Trixie stands before him defiantly.

“Very well, stupid unicorn. You have sealed your fate!”

He lunges at her, his weapon raised. Trixie jumps away as her horn glows. A doppelganger hops out from behind her.

“You’ll need more than illusions if you hope to best ME!”

Trixie chuckles. “I HAVE more.”

Two more doppelgangers hop out from behind her. Decimus lunges forward again, but Trixie and her copies hop nimbly out of the way. Fresh clones dart out from behind Trixie regularly as Decimus tries to hit them. Her voice comes forth from her growing army.

“Keep trying and maybe you’ll eventually hit one, captain.”

“Stand still and take what you have coming, stupid unicorn!”

Trixie laughs. “Yeah, right. Just try harder!”

Ember looks over. “What is she DOING?!”

Sereb frowns. “Looks like she’s trying to stall him.”

Arc nods. “Long enough for us to get over there hopefully.”

Decimus seethes. “You little…!”

Trixie and her doppelgangers turn and run into the forest.

“Catch me if you can!”

“Gladly!”

He gives chase as Arc and company break through the enemy lines. They look around.

“Where did they go?!”

The Angel of Darkness chuckles. “Your little lieutenant just fled into the woods. But don’t worry. Decimus is hunting her down.”

Ember frowns. “WHAT?!”

Arc narrows his eyes. “Great.”

Ember turns toward the woods. “I’m going after her!”

Sereb nods. “With Arc’s permission, I will accompany you.”

Arc nods. “Be careful.”

They run into the foliage as Arc turns his attention back to the Angel of Darkness.

“Stop this now, Tempest!”

“Why should I? It’s all part of that fool Hawthorne’s plan, after all.”

“Yeah? Well look how he ended up!”

She laughs. “I don’t see that happening to me anytime soon.”

Arc levels his spear at her. “Last chance, Tempest! Stop!”

The Angel of Darkness narrows her eyes. “No.”

She holds out a blackened hoof. Tendrils rise up from under Arc in an attempt to immobilize him.

“Not this time!”

Arc Blinks away and holds up a hand to raise a barrier. Holding his other hand up he blasts the tendrils with a plume of white-hot flames. They turn to dust as his attention shifts back to Tempest.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but this has to stop.”

“You can do NOTHING to me, Arc!”

Raising a hand, Arc fires a barrage of energy blasts from his Hand Cannons. The smell of burning fur and flesh fills the air. However Tempest’s skin heals faster than damage can be inflicted.

“Are you quite finished wasting my time? Nothing you do will stop me! You have to know this!”

“Maybe not. But I CAN try to break your concentration!”

Rushing toward Tempest, Arc levels his spear and pierces her belly. Not slowing down he pins her to a nearby tree. Blood flows from the wound and falls to the grass below as Arc’s victim gasps.

“Do you really think… this will halt the attack?!”

Arc shakes his head. “No, but look.”

He points out to Tempest’s army. Already her minions are returning to their original size. Most of them appear significantly weakened. She chuckles as blood flows down her body.

“That may be. But as soon as I get free, their power will return with a vengeance!”

“You’re not going anywhere, Tempest.”

“I will indeed. As soon as Decimus finished toying with your friends, that is.”

Meanwhile, Decimus continues to chase Trixie. Ember follows on Sereb’s back.

“Sereb, are you sure they went this way?!”

“Yes. Their scent lingers on the air.”

“Well, let’s find them, shall we?”

“Indeed.”

Meanwhile, Trixie comes to a small clearing. She casts a Light Spell and looks all around, but sees nothing. A moment later blue magical flames spring up walling her and her doppelgangers in as Decimus enters the clearing.

“Now you won’t be running away again. This ends here and now!”

Trixie turns to face him. “Fine! No more running from me!”

Sereb looks ahead to see the flames. He grinds to a stop just in front of them. Ember jumps off and flies overhead.

“Trixie!”

Decimus looks over and frowns.

“Stay out of this!”

Concentrating, he calls forth tendrils from the ground. They shoot up and grab the young dragon’s arms and pull her down to the ground. Ember struggles against them but is overpowered as she falls to her knees.

“Trixie! Run!”

“No! He’s got to be stopped here and now!”

Decimus cackles as Trixie’s doppelgangers surround him on all sides.

“Your copies didn’t fare so well against me before. What makes you think they’ll do any better now?”

“Because I’ve learned how to properly use them against you.”

Decimus brandishes his blade. “We shall see about that, stupid unicorn.”

Trixie narrows her eyes. “Yes… we shall.”

The doppelgangers begin running in all directions. Ember frowns.

“What are you doing?! Get him or run!”

Trixie’s voice rings out from her clones.

“I will! Just trust me!”

Decimus looks all around as the doppelgangers fall into line. They trot all around him laughing.

“Captain, captain, what is happenin’? Which is real, which is fake?! Figure it out before it’s too late!”

They continue taunting him and trotting in a circle around Decimus. He diligently looks over each clone for a clue as he addresses Trixie.

“It’s not hard to figure out what’s real, and what’s not.”

“Really? How so, captain?”

“I just have to look for inconsistencies to find the real you. While all your doppelgangers are perfectly identical to each other, like it or not, you are unique. A difference in uniform, hair tone, voice, anything will give you away.”

“Right! So finding the real me should be easy!”

“That it will be. After all, one blade to your gullet will stop your spellcasting… permanently.”

“Go ahead. Show us just how smart you really are.”

Decimus looks over every clone as they pass by. Beads of sweat begin to form on his brow.

“You’ve certainly done well learning that spell. For just a stupid little caster, that is.”

“Thanks. But I get the feeling you haven’t learned much since last we met.”

Decimus laughs. “What is there to learn?! I’m at the top of my game!”

Ember glares at him. “No one’s so great they know everything, you freak!”

“Then watch and learn, Dragon Lord. Oh, and by the way… YOU’RE next!”

Ember frowns. “You couldn’t find a cake in a bakery! I’ve got nothing to worry about!”

Minutes pass. Decimus’ composure slowly erodes as the doppelgangers continue to trot around him. They slowly get closer and closer, tightening the circle around him.

“One of you HAS to be different! Nopony is THAT good!”

“Maybe. Then again… maybe not. Come on! You can figure this out… right?!”

Decimus turns to look all around. His eye twitches.

“I… I can! I MUST! I…”

Suddenly a knife comes out of nowhere and finds its place in Decimus’ side. The tendrils that hold Ember weaken and she rushes forth as Decimus falls to his fetlocks. She looks around.

“Trixie?! Which is the real you?!”

The doppelgangers laugh as they pop in a puff of smoke. Trixie appears next to Decimus as she pulls the blade from his side.

“I was behind him the whole time.”

Decimus grimaces. “But… how?!”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “I was invisible, fool.”

“I understand THAT! But how couldn’t I have at least seen an outline?! Or hoofprints in the dirt?!”

Ember shakes her head. “Probably because you were so convinced one of the clones had to be the real deal.”

“Right. Now then…”

Turning around, Trixie bucks Decimus hard. He flies across the field and into a rock. The crunch of bones breaking can be heard from the impact before he falls to the ground.

“So… what happens now? You going to try and take me in? The Council of Shadows won’t take kindly to that.”

Trixie shakes her head. “I don’t really care to. After all, I’ve had my revenge on you now… stupid captain.”

Decimus glares at her as the blood from his wounds stains the ground. He sits up and leans against the rock as Ember walks over to him.

“Ah, yes. The Hero of Light’s little pet dragon. What do YOU want?”

Ember looks down at him. “I want to talk to you about what you did to me in Baltimare.”

“What about it?!”

“Just this.”

Without another word Ember drives her spear into Decimus’ chest, piercing his heart, and killing him instantly. The flame barrier around them dissipates as Sereb rushes over to her.

“Now we’re even. But thanks for the pain.”

She pulls the spear out and allows Decimus’ body to fall over. Blood pours out the softball sized hole in his torso. Sereb looks to his friend.

“Ember?”

Trixie nods soberly. “He hurt you too?”

Ember nods. “Yes. This slime sentenced me to Tartarus for a crime that lacked any proof.”

Sereb frowns. “I guess he got off light then.”

“Yeah. I was originally going to torture him for a while.”

Trixie looks confused. “Why didn’t you?”

“Truth be told, I’m actually very grateful to him.”

Sereb raises an eyebrow. “Grateful for what?”

“If he hadn’t found me guilty, I wouldn’t have met Arc or anyone else in Equestria. Save for Spike, that is.”

Trixie nods. “I suppose that’s true. If he hadn’t beaten me and forced me to confess, Arc wouldn’t have tried to help me. He and I would still be enemies.”

Sereb turns to Trixie. “You would have sought vengeance against him, would you not?”

“Yes. And I probably would have been killed.”

Ember looks to Trixie as she points at Decimus’ body. “Think he’ll come back?”

“Most likely, yes. After all, Trixie was told Arc already killed him. And Trixie did too when she had the Alicorn Amulet.”

Sereb shakes his head. “It’s in the past. But let’s return to the battle and allow the maggots to have this traitor.”

Nodding Ember and Trixie hop on Sereb’s back and leave the clearing. The last of the flames from Decimus’ earlier shield slowly die out and the clearing is plunged back into darkness. The trio returns to Arc’s side as the Angel of Darkness’ eyes narrow.

“Looks like you three were able to give Decimus the slip. But he’ll deal with you when he doubles back.”

Trixie hops off Sereb with Ember. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Right. He’s dead.”

“Is he now? And you two failures somehow took him down?”

Sereb gestures to Ember and Trixie proudly. “They did.”

“Right. He and I had a score to settle, after all.”

“Me too.”

The Angel of Darkness eyes grow wide. “You… you’re lying!”

Arc shakes his head. “I doubt they are.”

She growls at them.

“I’LL KILL YOU!”

Clapping her hooves together, the Angel of Darkness blasts everyone away from her, friend and foe alike. The force also blows her thorough the tree trunk and off the Spear of Righteousness.

“I’ll avenge my…!”

Arc hurries toward her. “Remember you’re promise, Tempest!”

“What about yours?!”

Arc clenches a fist. “I kept mine!”

“HOW?!”

“Our deal was Decimus stayed alive as long as he stayed away! He came HERE, remember?!”

The Angel of Darkness turns to her forces as she points at Trixie and Ember. “GET THEM! GET THEM NOW!”

Arc uses his magic to pull his spear to himself. “Great. Here we go again.”

The Angel of Darkness slowly advances with her again empowered forces. She smiles wickedly.

“I’m going to enjoy…!”

The ground suddenly begins to shake. Rainbow Dash turns to Shining Armor.

“What’s going on?!”

Shining Armor shrugs. “Is this Tempest’s doing?”

Applejack looks over to Tempest. “I don’t think so. It seems she’s just as confused as we are.”

A smile spreads across Twilight’s face. “I think I know exactly what’s going on. Big brother, tell everyone to fall back”

“What?! But…!”

“Hurry!”

“ALL FORCES, FALL BACK TO THE BASE!”

The soldiers and diplomats rush into Light’s Hope as the tremors intensify. Twilight and her friends rush to Arc’s side as the Angel of Darkness turns to them.

“What have you done?!”

Arc shrugs. “I don’t think I did anything!”

Twilight turns to the others. “Everypony stay alert!”

A colossal roar rings out from the Everfree Forest as the Ursa Major emerges from the tree line. Fluttershy stands on top of her head and points at Tempest and her forces.

“There they are! Stop that dark creature and her followers! Um… that is, if you want to.”

The Ursa Major charges forward. Scores of Tempest’s forces vanish as the massive claws rake through them. Rarity gasps.

“Fluttershy?!”

Pinkie points a hoof. “What about those portal thingies?!”

Arc nods. “Right! FLUTTERSHY! TAKE OUT THE PORTALS!”

Fluttershy looks down. “You heard him. Let’s end this!”

The Ursa Major leaps toward the portals. The force of her hitting the ground is enough to destabilize them. As the dust clears every portal appears closed. The Angel of Darkness gets up and glares at them.

“I’m still more than a match for all of you!”

Fluttershy jumps down onto the Ursa Major’s snout and turns to look into her eyes with a smile.

“Thank you for the help. We’ll take it from here.”

Fluttershy flaps her wings and flies toward her friends as the Ursa Major turns to head back to the forest. The Angel of Darkness calls forth Light’s Bane.

“You’re not going ANYWHERE, monster!”

She hurls the spear at the beast’s backside. Gasping, Fluttershy knocks it aside with a hoof. Flying over to stand before the Angel of Darkness, she glares at her.

“Are… you… KIDDING ME?! Did you just throw a SPEAR at a MOTHER?!”

Rainbow Dash takes a step back. “Uh oh.”

Ember frowns. “ What are you doing?! We need to back her up!”

Applejack holds out a hoof.

“Hold on. Best not to get in the way.”

Arc raises an eyebrow. “In the way? Of what?”

Rarity shudders. “Fluttershy’s rage.”

Pinkie shivers. “Yeah! It doesn’t happen often! But when it does, look out!”

Fluttershy lands in front of her opponent, angrily.

“I mean… sure you’re a traitor working for a shadow organization bent on destroying Arc and maybe all of Equestria! But that DOESN’T give you the right to take it out on the woodland creatures!”

The Angel of Darkness looks past Fluttershy to Arc. “Is she serious?”

“Um… I think so.”

Fluttershy’s eyes narrow. “What gives you the right to do such terrible things?!”

A vein pops out of her neck as she continues.

“What makes you so SPECIAL?!”

Fluttershy walks toward the Angel of Darkness as she slowly steps back.

“Do you think that the rules of common courtesy DON’T APPLY TO YOU?! Well, you’re just a GREAT BIG MEANIE!”

The Angel of Darkness backs into a tree. She appears genuinely nervous.

Fluttershy stares at her as her voice lowers a few octaves and rises in volume. “WHY DON’T YOU PICK ON SOMEPONY YOUR OWN SIZE!!!”

Suddenly, Fluttershy flies headfirst at Tempest. Her hooves hit their target in the chest. The Angel of Darkness smashes through the tree (yes… THROUGH the tree) and lands on the ground some distance away. She quickly gets up and shakes her head as if to clear it.

“What… the… hell…!”

She is cut off as Fluttershy arcs back and lands behind her. Hopping, Fluttershy does a 180 to buck her opponent in the back of the head. The Angel of Darkness body flies back toward Arc and company. He gasps.

“LOOK OUT!”

Arc and company step back just in time to avoid being hit by the Angel of Darkness or Fluttershy as she takes flight and goes after her target. Catching up in midair Fluttershy flies over her and, using all four of her hooves, kicks her opponent to the ground. Landing on top as Tempest’s body touches down and slides across the lawn, she uses her front two hooves to push the fallen angel’s face down into the rocks and dirt for maximum damage. Eventually they plow into a large rock. Tempest’s body stops as the boulder explodes from the force. Fluttershy uses the momentum to take flight yet again. She arcs through the sky at breakneck speed and flies straight down at her target. As Tempest tries to rise, she divebombs into her. Everyone is pushed back slightly from the shockwave. Standing over the battered mare, Fluttershy continues stomping her. Arc tosses his spear to Ember and runs over to the pair. Diving at Fluttershy she and Arc roll across the ground several times before they stop with Arc on top. Fluttershy writhes and screams at him violently.

“LET ME UP! SHE HASN’T SUFFERED ENOUGH!”

“Fluttershy, calm down!”

“Calm down?! You saw what she…!”

“FLUTTERSHY, STOP!”

The mare beneath him is suddenly brought back to reality. She begins to tremble slightly as the tears begin to fall. Without a word she wraps her front hooves around Arc’s neck and begins sobbing. He picks her up and pulls her into a hug on his lap.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy. It’s over now.”

Turning back to everyone else, Arc sees nothing but stares of disbelief at what they have just witnessed. Even Rutherford appears shaken at the sudden display of extreme violence. Twilight and the others walk over to them. Rainbow Dash is the first to be able to speak.

“Fluttershy? You… are you okay?”

Fluttershy wordlessly shakes her head. Applejack puts a hoof on her friend’s shoulder.

“Everypony loses control sometimes, sugarcube.”

Rarity nods. “Y-yes.”

Pinkie smiles. “Yeah! Even me!”

Twilight puts a hoof on her friend’s back. “Fluttershy, we’re all very proud of you for saving that Ursa Major’s life back there.”

Fluttershy sobs. “But… but I’m a murderer now!”

Sereb looks toward the Angel of Darkness. “No. She’s still alive.”

Arc nods. “Yeah. She’ll regenerate in a bit.”

Ember holds her spear along with Arc’s. “We really should remedy that!”

Tugem shakes his head. “I do not believe we have the power to do that.”

Arc looks down at Fluttershy. “Hey… I know you’re scared. But you and the others have to do something now.”

Fluttershy wipes her eyes. “We… we do?”

Twilight nods soberly. “Yes, Fluttershy.”

Rainbow Dash looks over to their opponent lying on the ground nearby. “This thing has to be changed back, or this battle will NEVER end!”

Fluttershy nods. “Y-yes.”

Arc sets her down. Twilight and her friends surround the Angel of Darkness and concentrate. A moment later unimaginable power emanates from the Elements of Harmony. It connects them before finally focusing on the Element of Magic. Twilight’s eyes glow white as a rainbow colored light shoots straight up into the night sky before arcing back down and covering Tempest. A few moments later she reverts back to her original form as the darkness flows from her body. She attempts to rise for a moment before her eyes roll into the back of her head and she collapses. For a few moments there is silence before Arc’s forces break into cheers. The diplomats join in the revelry as Goldstone peeks out a window. He frowns at the sight of Tempest lying on the ground.

“Hmph! As I thought, Decimus’ little floozie wasn’t up to the task. But I wonder… just how long will The Dark One let this farce go on?”