Consciousness returned fitfully, reluctantly. She lingered in that liminal state where half-remembered dreams beckoned her again and again to embrace their uncanny fantasies. It was the twilight of wakefulness; were she to consider the phrase, its eponymous nature would yield dry amusement.
Reality eventually asserted itself, however, as it usually does. Not for the first time, Twilight reflected that living only in dreams might be a preferable existence: the ultimate escapism from the disappointments endemic to her days.
That wouldn't be fulfilling, if I knew I were only dreaming. What good is a life that never affects objective reality? A rapid series of resultant ontological considerations flashed through her mind: can we even prove an objective reality exists? If our experiences define us, then wouldn't imagined experiences be just as enriching and important? She dismissed the train of thought, not because she had satisfactory answers, but only because she preferred to think of reality as important, and fantasy as unimportant. She was a scientist at heart, and science concerns itself only with the real.
She yawned, and stretched expansively. The real might be important, but the difficulties it inevitably brought weren't desirable at present. Pulling the covers up to her chin, she decided that a little more unreality couldn't hurt.
[2:49 AM] SunPrincess: trying out a new look?
[2:49 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Hmm?
[2:49 AM] SunPrincess: youre always in purple
[2:50 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I've reconsidered. Purple is an ugly color. I don't want to see it.
[2:50 AM] SunPrincess: its not so bad i think. purple is the color of royalty here
[2:50 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Shouldn't you use purple, then? To match your screenname?
[2:50 AM] SunPrincess: nah this color goes better with my long luxurious mane of hair
[2:51 AM] SunPrincess: but you were telling me about energy storage
[2:53 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Right. So, the reason so much heavy equipment uses hydrocarbons for fuel is its energy density. Gasoline and similar classes of petrochemical compounds store a lot of energy in their molecular bonds per kilogram, which is obviously very convenient for cars and trucks that have to carry their fuel with them. And extracting that energy in a useful form is simple. Just burn it.
[2:55 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Of course, there are externalities that make this undesirable. Pollution in the form of particulates, which are bad for our health. And the byproducts of combustion have climate-altering effects. People don't normally realize this, but we're technically in an ice age right now, just a slightly warmer part of it. But even though civilization has historically flourished during warmer periods, the disruption to agriculture and infrastrucure caused by rapid climate change might be catastrophic.
[2:56 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: There is a lot of construction time and money tied up in coastal infrastructure, and it wouldn't deal well with higher sea levels. And events like the Little Ice Age or the Dust Bowl illustrate how fragile our food sources can be.
[2:57 AM] SunPrincess: sounds like who controls the weather controls the world
[2:57 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Weather machines are commonly what evil genius villains build, yes. :-)
[2:57 AM] SunPrincess: so who has built them?
[2:57 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Lex Luthor, probably.
[2:57 AM] SunPrincess: ok, ill look up his biography later
[2:58 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Heh!
[2:58 AM] SunPrincess: what?
[2:58 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: "I'll look up his biography later." :-)
[2:58 AM] SunPrincess: i will
[2:58 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I like how you're always switching between serious and silly. It's refreshing.
[3:05 AM] SunPrincess: right, of course
[3:05 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Hey Sun?
[3:05 AM] SunPrincess: yeah?
[3:13 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Do you ever find it difficult to talk with people?
[3:14 AM] SunPrincess: no. people are easy to talk to.
[3:14 AM] SunPrincess: they have primitive motivations. they like things that make them feel good. or that make them feel good about themselves
[3:14 AM] SunPrincess: flattery makes them open up. most people never get tired of hearing how great they are and feeling liked
[3:15 AM] SunPrincess: and theyd rather talk about themselves than listen. you can learn all about them like that, because they're just using you for attention and validation.
[3:15 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: You're saying that people default to self-centeredness?
[3:15 AM] SunPrincess: in my experience yes. its easy to have shallow conversations and most people are happy with just that. youre a smart girl, truth, you think about complex things and care about deep subjects. have you met many people who really take the time to think about the world and their place in it and whats important and meaningful in life?
[3:19 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I'm not sure. I generally don't get close enough to anyone to find out how they think or what they consider important.
[3:20 AM] SunPrincess: and why do you think that is? its because youre complicated. you know how things are and should be, and you can see the disconnect between insipid day to day life and what matters. you're real. and people dont want to think about the hard truths. most of them dont want to think at all. they just want to exist. not even live really, just exist.
[3:20 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: You can't possibly believe that! It's so cynical.
[3:21 AM] SunPrincess: i know you love learning abut history and psychology and politics and philosophy and all sorts of things in school. theyre weighty subjects that matter, right? how many people in your school really care about all that?
[3:21 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Most of them, actually. My school is academically rigorous. Lots of high achievers.
[3:21 AM] SunPrincess: so lots of students paying attention in class. better than my school, but ill still wager the majority dont care about learning as much as good grades, if your school is competitive
[3:22 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I . . . guess that's mostly true.
[3:22 AM] SunPrincess: so even among smart kids most of them just dont care. they dont want to care.
[3:23 AM] SunPrincess: but youre not like that, truth. youre like me. we know that as a group most people are purposeless. they lack direction. as individuals and as a group they react to rewards and punishment, praise and fear, like an animal. so you can help them out by giving them the mindless things they want, and in exchange you can get what you want from them.
[3:23 AM] SunPrincess: popularity, or favors, or some fun here and there
[3:23 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: That's horrible! And even more cynical!
[3:24 AM] SunPrincess: cynicism is just another word for being realistic.
[3:24 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Are all your relationships so transactional? Just stimulus-response cycles?
[3:24 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Is that how you see everyone? Is that how you see me too?
[3:24 AM] SunPrincess: most people, but not you. youre one of the exceptions, like me. except you suffer because of it. youve almost got it, youre almost there, but you are still hanging on to the idea that ordinary people can make you happy. youre lonely, right? youre talking with me here at 3 in the morning instead of sleeping, and im pretty sure its not just because im really interesting. even though i am of course ;-)
[3:25 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I can see where you're coming from, in a way, but your worldview is so depressing. I'm certain it's . . . not entirely correct, at best, but I want to think about its implications some more.
[3:25 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: That notwithtanding, I really enjoy our conversations. Even when we disagree on something, your arguments are always cogent and logically consistent.
[3:25 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I've seen you change your mind through analysis and reason, and you've done so readily and clinically. It's . . . comforting? I think?
[3:26 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Comforting to know that there are people who think that way. Other people, I mean. Even though you're very passionate about a lot of things, you can be dispassionate and . . . almost ruthless, I guess, when you analyze things.
[3:27 AM] SunPrincess: well ive always had strong convictions. and i think that clinging to familiar but wrong ideas is weakness. id rather be right than sentimental about my beliefs. ive found it necessary to discard lots of things i thought i knew over the years, and its made me stronger. its given me clarity. and in the process, ive found purpose.
[3:27 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: Well no matter what we disagree on, I always respect that about you. And the fact that most people aren't like that, that their beliefs and actions are driven by emotions instead of reason, does make it difficult to connect with them. So I am lonely, yes.
[3:28 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: I feel like this is the part in the movie where you reveal you're a supervillainess and tell me "we're not so different, you and I."
[3:28 AM] SunPrincess: well...i was going to wait until a bit later, but i guess if youre ready...
[3:28 AM] KnowledgeIsTruth: :-D
"Pardon me, dear, but I couldn't help noticing that you seem a bit, mmm, out of sorts?"
Twilight looked up from where she had been staring distractedly over the crowds of young people flocking through the mall's courtyard. Yes, "flocking;" apropos for interchangeable, incurious people behaving like instinct-driven birds. Sun would surely draw that parallel. Actually, I bet a crowd of this kind could be modelled using a sort of flocking behavior, plotting destinations on a coordinate system and grouping the motions of individuals on shared social outings. You'd have to account for crowd density, of course, which would affect the—
"Oh! Sorry, I was . . ." Her glance moved up the form of her interlocutor, analyzing. Well-dressed in a purple and white ensemble, and carrying bags from several clothing stores; thin; confident stance; conventionally attractive. Facial symmetry and clear skin were cross-cultural markers of beauty, according to her admittedly sparse anthropological knowledge. (She did tend to stick with the hard sciences, by preference.)
This girl was probably popular. The thought made her cringe subtly, given that someone's popularity was inversely correlated to their tolerance of Twilight's personality quirks, in her experience. There could be detrimental social and emotional consequences for interacting with her. Twilight mentally weighed her likely adherence to historically plausible categorizations.
Gregarious.
Vacuous.
Petty.
Dangerous.
". . . I was distracted," she finished.
"People-watching? I certainly have been known to enjoy a dabble in that myself, here and there." She waved a hand about airily as she spoke, then fixed her brilliant blue irises on Twilight and smiled warmly. " Oh, but pardon me, I'm forgetting myself! Hello, darling, I'm Rarity."
Twilight glanced at the delicately proffered hand, then clasped it in her own and shook it tentatively. "Hi." Rarity blinked, and silently adjusted her smile, seemingly waiting for something else. A quick review of the solution space for small-talk subjects and rote responses yielded a likely candidate. "I'm Twilight." This seemed to satisfy Rarity's expectations.
"Twilight! Such a lovely name. Caught between the light and the dark! Your life must be fascinating, with a name like that. Surely you were distracted just now because you were brooding on the tragic nature of existence!" She brought her arm up to cover her closed eyes, and tilted her head back dramatically, the loose curls of her coiffure briefly undulating before falling still behind her.
Uncertainty wrote itself across Twilight's brow, as she tried to determine if Rarity was already making fun of her. "It's not a euonym, it's just my name."
Rarity gave up her pose to lean forward, bringing her face toward Twilight's. "And yet you seemed so lost for a moment there, dear. I couldn't help but interrupt my shopping trip to find out if everything was all right. Giving up a little of my shopping quality time is hardly a concern if I can brighten someone's day when they might need it most." She reached out her hand to companionably pat Twilight's forearm, her eyes earnest.
Twilight was suddenly taken aback. Rarity had indeed interrupted the creeping pall of a fatalistic anhedonia. She had been staring at the crowds, painfully cognizant that despite their tantalizing physical nearness they were as emotionally distant as Proxima Centauri. Indeed, Twilight liked to sit on the edge of this fountain in the central atrium of the mall specifically because the density of passers-by was greatest, giving her a surrogate feeling of belonging—even if only as a member of an amorphous crowd of constantly shifting composition. Musing on the sheer pitifulness of this habit had been leading her into a less dramatic version of the brooding Rarity had perceived.
"I . . ." Twilight swallowed, aware of a sudden uncomfortable dryness in her throat. Her eyes searched Rarity's face for signs of mockery. This kind of thing doesn't happen. People are always caught up in their own lives, they don't stop to enquire about the circumstances of vaguely sad-looking strangers. What am I not seeing? She drew back from Rarity's touch, her mind rapidly cycling through possible responses and discarding any that might indicate vulnerability. Twilight didn't know what game this girl was playing, but the balance of experience demanded she assume that Rarity was employing a disingenuous façade, likely as a feint before embarrassing or demeaning her somehow. But there were too many variables; she couldn't predict how any such ploy would unfold, and consequently couldn't maintain control of this conversation at all!
Well, that simplified things. There was only one safe course of action. Twilight affixed a brittle smile to her face. "I'm fine, Rarity. Thanks for worrying, but I was just thinking about my calculus homework. There's an annoying discontinuity in one of the last functions, and once I've figured out how to simplify it I'll be able to apply simple polynomial differentiation."
Rarity's narrowed eyes now took their own turn searchingly roving across Twilight's face, perhaps less than convinced of the rictus's veracity. "Oh, I'm so sorry if I've been presumptuous, Twilight. I was so certain that something was troubling you, and I know that whenever I feel down I find it always helps when I have a sympathetic ear to listen. A lady can only find so much solace in strawberry and pistachio swirl, you know."
"Thank you, Rarity, but really, I'm fine. You can blame the mathematics if you want."
Rarity smiled winsomely, and placed her hands on her hips in a contrapposto. "Well, if it brings such a frown to your face, I'm certain that calculus and I are overdue for a stern talking-to."
"I'll let Leibniz and Newton know." Twilight prepared a universal conversational script. "Oh, I was so absorbed in the problem, I didn't realize what time it is. I really have to go."
"Oh, wait just a moment, dear," Rarity entreated as Twilight rose. Her smile fading, Rarity reached into one of her shopping bags and retrieved a velvet clutch purse. From this she drew a pocket notepad and what looked like some kind of calligraphy pen. After a few deft penstrokes, she tore the top leaf off with a little flourish, and held it out while looking at Twilight meaningfully over the top of her red eyeglass frames. "After you've figured out the answer to your homework, I'd be pleased to listen to any other . . . math problems you might have. Certainly I find that the answers sometimes just come to me when I talk them out with someone."
Twilight glanced down at the little sheet of paper, and back up to meet Rarity's unwavering gaze. Her fingers twitched in momentary indecision, but then she pulled the paper out of Rarity's hand, folded it over twice, and slipped it into a pocket on the side of her own purse. Turning on her heel, Twilight sought to weave through several intersecting trajectories in the teenage flock, allowing them to interpose between Rarity and her.
She reflected with a distant satisfaction that the sudden increase in localized crowd density caused by her arrival did, in fact, affect the velocities of the nearby people, and now that she was safely away from Rarity she began considering whether the crowd could be reasonably modeled as a viscous fluid, and how her movements would affect its shear flow.