It was a very normal relationship. Picnics in the park. Standup sets. Quiz nights. Long walks together. Gifts on Hearts and Hooves Day. Visiting each other’s parents for Hearth’s Warming. It was everything that Lyra could have ever hoped for.
Well, there was one very small matter that didn’t matter. Though chaste kisses were allowed, they topped out at cheek-to-cheek hugs when it came to public displays of affection. This was because Bon Bon had an unusually conservative interpretation of Celestia’s Law.
There was no other explanation for it that could possibly make sense.
But again, that didn’t matter. They more than made up for it with what they did behind closed doors. It was a very normal relationship. It was perfect. Now all she needed was a perfect day. She waited for a while. It came.
Ponies panicked and ran around as yet another monster terrorized the streets. It was not the perfect reproduction, as the monsters were nothing more than creepy little apple creatures and the cause turned out to be Discord and not Twilight and her friends, but it was close enough to that day with the bugbear when Bon Bon confessed her secret and Lyra confessed hers in turn, later that night. The day of their first kiss.
So it was perfect enough. Lyra got down awkwardly on one knee and pulled out the ring she had bought in secret on their last trip to Manehattan.
She would remember what happened next with perfect clarity for the rest of her life. Like how anypony would remember the happiest moment they had ever lived. Bon Bon brought up a hoof to her mouth in surprise, then turned around to pull out a ring of her own.
It was a difficult engagement. Of course, the chaos that erupted across Equestria, the attack of Cozy Glow and her minions, and the return of the Windigos were all very stressful, but it was the time when the ponies of Canterlot and Ponyville separated them by force that was the hardest for the both of them to endure. But they had gotten through it. They were married now.
They were back from their honeymoon to Las Pegasus, finally getting that photo booth picture Rainbow Dash had ruined the last time. They were back home. Their home, the one they would spend the rest of their long, normal, loving lives together in. It was everything that Bon Bon could have ever hoped for.
And though she disliked admitting this, it had actually turned out even better than what she could have ever hoped for. Yes, she truly loved everything about Lyra, including her obsession with humans. But that didn’t stop her from noticing and liking that the intensity of it had slowly dwindled over the years. At first, Bon Bon would often wake up in the middle of the night to see Lyra missing from her side of the bed, and hear the muffled clacking of a typewriter from the other side of the apartment. But now she could barely remember the last time that happened. They barely ever even used Cadance’s gift anymore.
But still, there were nights like this when Bon Bon would lie in bed and look over with jealousy to see Lyra deep in an embrace with her “life-size” human plushie. She knew it was irrational. Half the time Lyra held her, Bon Bon ended up shaking her off so she could sleep more comfortably anyway. And she knew that Lyra would, if anything, be really happy if Bon Bon held her while she held the plushie. But she did not do this. It was the possibility that Lyra would prefer to give her attention to the fake human over her real wife that bothered her. But she did not say this. She knew that is not what it meant.
Of course, even on nights like this when Bon Bon felt that irrational anxiety that wouldn’t go away, she could always, at the very least, tell herself one thing that would make her feel better.
She had nothing to actually worry about because humans weren’t real, and one would never, ever, ever, ever show up in their lives.