//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Life Buffet // Story: Spice // by Godslittleprincess //------------------------------// Fall of 1965, a 15-year-old Lionheart was helping his father, a tall man with light brown skin and navy hair, haul a long, rectangular folding table to the front of their house. Like his son, Ram Horn also had grey eyes and wore glasses. “Dad, why does Māmā make such a big fuss about this day every year?” Lionheart asked. “From what I understand of it, it’s a holiday in China that celebrates family coming together,” Ram answered, “and family means a lot to your mother.” “Is it normal in China to set out a dessert table in front of your house for random strangers to eat out of?” “No. I think that’s just something that your mother does.” “Lǎogōng!” Ms. Magnolia called, stepping outside with a plate of almond cookies in one hand and a plate of egg tarts in the other. “Is the taber ready yet?”[1] “It’s ready, Maggie,” Ram replied. Ms. Magnolia set her plates on the table and rushed back into the house before rushing out again with another two plates of dessert. She repeated this until the table was piled high with almond cookies, egg tarts, candied walnuts, candied fried sweet potatoes, and... “Mooncakes?” Lionheart exclaimed, seeing the final plate that his mother had set on the table. “Again?” “What wrong with mooncakes?” his mother asked. “You set these out every year, and every year, only five or ten people eat them, and four of them are us.” “Why you think I only put out eight cakes this year? Besides, you cannot celeberate Zhōngqiū Jié without mooncakes.”[2] “Why not?” “Mooncakes mean family coming together. When we give neighbors mooncakes, we show we thin of them as family.” “Which is a lot kindlier than how most of our neighbors think of us,” Lion thought to himself with a slight frown. “Speaking of family,” Ram interrupted, a smile sneaking its way onto his face as he tilted his head down the sidewalk. “Yùlán! Yùlán! Yùlán Jiě!” a chorus of female voices called out. Ms. Magnolia turned towards the calls, and her whole face lit up when she saw who was calling her. A group of maybe ten people were coming up the sidewalk, led by three women.[3] One of the women was visibly older than the other two, and even though she was wearing a red qipao like his mother and the other two women, Lionheart could tell that she was a Westerner by the shape of her eyes. She had light green skin and bright blue eyes. The bits of red in her grey bun hinted at her original hair color. The other two women, like Ms. Magnolia, seemed to be Chinese and seemed to be close to her age too. One had orange skin, dark green hair, and brown eyes, and the other had grayish brown skin, black hair with two green highlights, and orange eyes. The lady with orange skin wore her hair in a bun and wore round, wire-rimmed glasses while the lady with grayish brown skin had her hair styled similarly to Ms. Magnolia’s. “Ah! Holly Tàitài!” Ms. Magnolia cried, greeting the oldest lady first with a tight, affectionate hug. “Gānjú Jiě! Yuānyāng! Wǒ kànjiàn nǐmen hěn gāoxìng!” She greeted the other two women with hugs as well.[4] “Dad, who are they?” Lionheart asked, staring at the women as they continued to exchange hugs and greetings with his mother. “They’re your mother’s family,” his father replied. “Even the Western lady?” “That’s Mrs. Holly,” Ram explained. “She and her late husband were missionaries to China. Your mom and those two other ladies were disowned by their families when they became Christians, so Mrs. Holly took them in and became like a mother to them. When the war hit China, they didn’t have anywhere else to go, so Mrs. Holly brought them over here with her.” “Nǐ de lǎogōng zài nǎ'r?” the lady Ms. Magnolia called “Gānjú Jiě” asked.[5] “Over here,” Ram called. “Gōngyáng Xiānshēng, how are you?” the lady called “Yuānyāng” replied.[6] “Oh, I’m doing great, Ms. Ducky. Thank you.” “You tehreating our sister wer, yes?” “Gānjú Jiě” butted in. “Yes, Ms. Orange, I’m treating Maggie very well,” Ram chuckled. “Although no matter how well I treat her, she somehow manages to treat me better.” The adults laughed at this while Lionheart just stared at them in confusion. “Uh, Dad, what did that lady just call you? And why did you call them by a different name than what Māmā called them?” Lionheart asked his father. The two ladies laughed at Lionheart’s question.[7] Ms. Orange explained, “When your bàba fuhst meet us, he say our names wrong so bad that we ter him to just give us American names.” “It’s true,” Ram agreed sheepishly. “And we give your bàba Chinese name because his name not easy for Chinese puhson to say.” Lionheart nodded in understanding, remembering all the times he’s heard his mother attempt to say his father’s name. In his earliest memories, Māmā would often end up calling Dad, “Lamb” or “Ra-am,” the former leading Dad to joke that it was the wrong kind of sheep. Nowadays, she would just keep making the a sound too short, pronouncing it “Rahm” instead of “Ram.” “Māmā, Daddy, I’m done with the sign for the table,” a 5-year-old Tiger Orchid called out, rushing out of the house with a square of posterboard in her hand. On the posterboard was written: “Free Dessert/Take One.” “Great job, Tigress,” Ram praised. “I’m going to go get some tape. Do you want to come over and meet your aunts?” Tigress looked towards the ladies, who waved to her affectionately. Then, she put on the biggest, brightest smile on her face and said, “Nínmen hǎo, wǒ de míngzì jiào Hǔlán, kěshì wǒ bàba jiào wǒ Tigress.” [8] Lionheart’s jaw hit the floor after his sister finished speaking. “How on earth did you say all that?!” he exclaimed. “That’s because I practice, unlike you,” Tigress huffed. “So, you’ve just been practicing saying all that just in case you need to say it one day? Really?” “Yeah. Pretty much.” “Ah, nǐ liǎng gè, lái,” Ms. Orange beckoned brother and sister over, holding out her handbag. “Āyí have something for you.”[9] Lion and Tigress looked in the handbag, and to Tigress’s delight and Lionheart’s complete indifference, the bag was half-filled with Dum Dums. “Oh my gosh! I love lollipops!” Tigress cried, reaching her hand in and grabbing one. She immediately ripped the wrapper off and stuffed the tiny lollipop into her mouth. In contrast to his sister, Lion simply took one and thanked his auntie. “Āiyā! Gānjú Jiě, wǒ de nǚ'ér yǐjīng chīle tài duō táng,” Ms. Magnolia exclaimed. “Nǐ huì chǒnghuài tā.” [10] “Āiyā! Méiyǒu wèntíle,” Ms. Orange scoffed, holding out her bag to the kids for them to take more. “Go on. Get more.”[11] Tigress was about to do just that when her big brother grabbed her hand mid-reach and said, “Ma’am, that’s very generous of you, but we couldn’t possibly.” “Āiyā, ‘ma’am’ too fohmar. You car me ‘dàyí,’ and Yuānyāng is ‘èryí.’” [12] “Killjoy,” Tigress hissed at Lionheart, trying squirm her hand out of her brother’s grip. “Hi, Lionheart,” a familiar, usually not unwelcome, feminine voice called out, causing Lion to let go of Tigress’s hand. He whipped his head towards the voice and forced a smile, trying not to blush. “Birdie,” he greeted back a little too loudly, trying and failing to pose in an unaffected yet attractive way. “So, what brings you here?” Sure enough, Birdie was coming up the sidewalk towards him accompanied by a tall, thin, middle-aged man with light gray skin and short, red hair. Like Birdie, he also had brown eyes and wore glasses. “Your parents invited me and Daddy over for Chinese Thanksgiving or whatever the actual name of the holiday is,” Birdie replied. She was holding what looked like breadbasket, and the basket’s contents were covered by a tea towel. “Oh, right,” Lion replied, giggling sheepishly, “just like they do every year.” “Idiot,” he internally cursed himself. “Xiǎo Xiānshēng,” Ms. Ducky addressed Lionheart, “who is this?”[13] “Oh, uh, Dàyí and, uh, Èryí,” Lion replied, the words uncomfortably tumbling over his tongue, “this is Birdie and her dad Mr. Finch. Mr. Finch is the choir director at church, and Birdie is a friend of mine. Birdie, Mr. Finch, these are my mom’s sisters, who, uh, aren’t actually her sisters.” “Pleased to meet you,” Mr. Finch greeted the two ladies, extending his hand for a handshake. Ms. Orange and Ms. Ducky each shook his hand, returning the sentiment. “Is your daughter Xiǎo Xiānshēng’s girferend?” Ms. Ducky asked Mr. Finch. Lion’s face turned the same color as Mr. Finch’s hair as he stammered incoherently trying to deny the assertion. “Ha! He wishes!” Tigress retorted before her brother could properly gather his words. “Tigress!” Lionheart yelled in a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment, his face turning a shade redder. “I found the tape,” Ram Horn announced, returning from the house. Shortly after, he noticed Birdie and Mr. Finch’s arrival. “Crimson, Birdie, so glad you could make it.” “Likewise,” Crimson Finch replied, returning Ram’s handshake. “So, as you can see, Maggie’s family decided to drop in from New York and surprise her this year,” Ram explained as he taped Tigress’s sign to the dessert table. “Yuānyāng and I finally get husbands to drive us here. Haven’t seen Yùlán in too long,” Ms. Orange added. “Who is, uh,..?” Birdie trailed off, struggling to say the name Ms. Orange had said. “Oh, that’s Maggie’s Chinese name,” Ram Horn explained. “The first half means ‘jade,’ and the second usually means ‘orchid’ but can also sometimes mean ‘magnolia.’ At least, that’s what she told me.” “Oh, it’s a very lovely name. I wish I could actually say it.” “So do I, my dear, so do I.” “Ah, Birdie, Mr. Feech, hello,” greeted Ms. Magnolia, coming over with Mrs. Holly. “This is Holly Tàitài. We meet her and her husband in China.” While father and daughter exchanged pleasantries with the older woman, Lionheart and his father went back into the house. A while later, they came out through the garage door, hauling an enormous, round folding table. “It’s a good thing the pastor and his family are out of town for a conference this weekend, or else, not even this table will be able to fit all of us,” Lion thought to himself. “Maggie, Tigress, the table’s ready for the food,” Ram Horn called after the two of them had unfolded the table. “Ah, duìle,” exclaimed Ms. Magnolia before turning to her daughter and saying, “Mèimei, gēn wǒ lái.” “What do you have there, dear?” Mrs. Holly asked Birdie, pointing at her basket. “Oh, cheese buns,” Birdie replied. “I know they’re not very traditional, but Daddy and I don’t like coming emptyhanded. Besides, Lionheart really likes them.” “Oh, Lionheart likes them, huh?” Ms. Holly teased knowingly, causing Birdie to blush slightly. “Yùlán Jiě really let you buhring American food to Zhōngqiū Jié?” Ms. Ducky asked with a laugh. “When she and Gōngyáng Xiānshēng fuhst meet, he buhring Chinese food fuhrom vendor, and she get so ang-guh-ry, so ang-guh-ry,” Ms. Orange added also laughing. “When Birdie cook, she cook her best,” Ms. Magnolia interrupted offendedly, apparently having heard the conversation. “Vendor ser bad food and cheat Americans out of money because Americans don’ know better. Dāngrán wǒ huì shēngqì.” [14] About thirty minutes later, the table had been set and all the ladies had loaded the table full of food. In addition to Birdie’s cheese buns, Ms. Magnolia had laid out all kinds of dishes for the feast. There were greens stir-fried with mushrooms, steamed sweet potatoes, some kind of stew with pumpkin, roast pork, and steamed white rice. The aunties from New York had also brought with them a small ice chest full of live crabs that were quickly steamed with ginger and green onions, roast duck, and pears. Ms. Magnolia had also set out a pot of tea for everyone to drink. Everybody gathered around the table, and Mrs. Holly was given the honor of saying grace. Then, everybody filled their plates and cups and chatted away as they ate heartily. Birdie smiled as she looked around the table. She had always wondered what being part of a big family would be like, and this was the closest she was probably ever going to get to being part of one. Sure, the feast was loud, noisy, and a bit chaotic, but it was also fun. Meanwhile, Lionheart nervously munched at his food with his chopsticks. He would sneak a glance at Birdie’s direction every so often, wondering what she thought of all the craziness. “Māmā,” Tigress called out, pointing up at the moon. “Look, it’s Jade Rabbit.” Everyone turned to where she was pointing. The moon was especially round and bright, buttery yellow that night. The moon’s brightness made it’s craters much more pronounced, and when viewed from a certain angle, the craters seemed to form an image of a rabbit pounding at a mortar and pestle. “Nǐ gàosù tāmen nàgè gùshì ma?” Ms. Orange asked Ms. Magnolia.[15] “Dāngrán wǒ gàosù,” Ms. Magnolia replied.[16] “What are they talking about?” Birdie asked Lionheart. “I’m not sure, but it looks like Big Auntie is asking Māmā about the Moon Lady story,” Lion replied. “You mean the one where the woman takes a potion that she was supposed to share with her husband all for herself, so now, she’s stuck on the moon crying for him forever?” “That’s the one.” “You know, one thing confuses me about that story.” “What’s that?” “Well, Ms. Magnolia said the Moon Lady supposedly grants wishes every year on this holiday but only if you don’t say them out loud because she can’t grant selfish wishes.” “She did say that,” Lionheart agreed. “What confuses me is how does not saying a wish out loud make it less selfish,” Birdie exclaimed as she frowned in confusion. “Wishing for a million dollars to spend on yourself is still wishing for a million dollars to spend on yourself even if you don’t wish for it out loud.” “I actually asked Māmā about that a few days ago,” Lion replied. “She has no idea why people say that. That’s just the way she’s heard other people tell it. Dad thinks Chinese parents made it up just so they won’t have to deal with listening to their kids whine about wanting things.” “You mean kinda like how parents here in America use Santa Claus to get their kids to behave,” Birdie noted with a giggle. “Yeah, now that you mention it, it is a lot like Santa Claus,” Lionheart agreed, also laughing. “Māmā, what would you wish for if the Moon Lady was real?” Tigress asked. “I would wish my daughter eat more vegetabers,” Ms. Magnolia retorted as she piled more greens and mushrooms onto her daughter’s plate. “Aw, Māmā!” Tigress cried, grimacing at her plate. “You always wish for that. Why don’t you ever wish for something else?” “Because you need to eat more vegetabers,” her mother replied plainly. “Besides, things Māmā want more than anything too perecious and too impohtant for silly wish. That why Māmā peray for them every day.” “Besides, you wish for the same thing every year, too,” Lionheart pointed out, reaching for his teacup. “You always wish for more dessert.” His sister scowled at him before smirking and saying, “I bet this year you’re going to wish for Birdie to be your girlfriend.” Lionheart spat out his tea in surprise. Some of the tea went down the wrong pipe, sending him coughing. “Tigress!” he yelled, once he had stopped coughing. “Āiyā, don’ shout at taber,” Ms. Magnolia scolded her children. “Good Lord, have mercy on me and just take me now,” Lionheart prayed silently as his face reddened. “Daddy, what would you wish for?” Tigress asked Ram. “Oh, I don’t know. Grandkids?” Ram replied with a laugh. Lion once again spat out his tea and coughed uncontrollably. “Āiyā!” his wife cried, striking him lightly on the shoulder. “Lǎogōng!” “I’m kidding. I’m just kidding,” Ram refuted, still laughing, “for now anyways.” “Ram, you shouldn’t joke about things like that,” Mrs. Holly scolded. “That wish might just come true in the worst way possible.” Crimson Finch looked Lionheart in the eye with a look that said, “It sure as heck better not.” “It won’t. I swear,” Lionheart replied with his eyes. Summer of 2016, Flash and his family were on a vacation to New York. His mother Lantern Heart had a week off from work, and inspired by Flash’s family history project, everyone had decided to take a trip to Chinatown. Flash’s great-aunt Tigress even flew up from Georgia to show them a piece of family history that didn’t make it into Flash’s project. “This is where you used to work, Aunt Tigress?” Base exclaimed, taking in the surroundings. He and his family were inside a high-end Chinese restaurant, and past the hostess’s desk, Base could see several large round tables with lazy Susans in the middle. “It sure is. I started as a dishwasher and worked my way up the ranks,” Tigress replied. Her hair was still mostly black, but it was starting to gray. She had also taken to wearing it in a low bun instead of two high buns. Age had also taken its toll on her eyesight, causing her to start wearing bifocals. “Although, this place wasn’t nearly as fancy when I started working here.” “Excuse me. How many in your party?” asked the hostess. “Qǐngwèn, Huǒguō hái zài zhè'er gōngzuò ma?” Aunt Tigress asked the hostess.[17] “Ah, shì a,” the hostess affirmed, getting over her surprise.[18] “Nǐ kěyǐ gàosù tā Hǔlán zài zhè'er ma?”[19] “Ah, qǐng děng yīxià,” the hostess replied before leaving the desk and going to the kitchens.[20] She returned shortly after with a man who looked a little older than Flash’s mother and aunt. He had light tan skin and dark brown hair with red and silver highlights and was dressed in a white, tangzhuang-style chef’s jacket and a white skull cap. His gold eyes lit up when he saw Aunt Tigress. “Hǔlán Jiě!” the chef greeted her excitedly. He bowed his head slightly before pulling Tigress into a hug. “Wǒ kànjiàn nǐ fēicháng gāoxìng!”[21] “Wǒ yě hěn gāoxìng,” Tigress replied before turning back to her family. “Everyone, this is Firepot. I used to train him back when I was a line cook here.”[22] “I built my whole career out of everything Hǔlán Jiě taught me,” Firepot said, “and for that, I’m going to put your meal on the house today.” “Good gracious!” Tigress exclaimed. “We can’t accept that. How are you going to keep the restaurant running if you keep giving food away like that?” “Come on. What’s one meal compared to a whole career?” “Huǒguō, one meal is eight dishes. There’s no way I can let you and the rest of the staff do that much work without paying you.” Firepot looked like he was about to argue back but suddenly shut his mouth and frowned. He let out a long, frustrated sigh. “If I didn’t know how stubborn you can be, I’d be putting up more of a fight,” Firepot replied. “Fine. I won’t put your meal on the house, but at least let me honor you by giving you and your family a discount. How does half off sound?” Aunt Tigress just stared at him with her arms crossed and her lips pressed together in a hard line. The length of the silence that passed between her and Firepot spoke volumes of her obstinacy. “Hǔlán Jiě, wǒ qiú nǐ a. Only half off,” Firepot insisted.[23] “Oh, fine,” Tigress relented, “but only because you insisted.” As the hostess led Flash and his family to their table, Base asked his great-aunt, “Hey, Aunt Tigress, how come you know how to speak Chinese but Grandpa didn’t?” Tigress laughed and replied, “Oh, a number of reasons. Your grandfather went through a bit of a stage as a teenager. On top of that, he never saw a need for it, so he never learned. Also, back when I first started working here, the head chef/owner didn’t speak English. It was either get good or get fired.” “How did you even manage to become a chef, Aunt Tigress?” Flash asked as everyone took their seats. “Not to sound sexist, but wasn’t it a lot harder for women to become chefs back in your day?” That question elicited an even bigger laugh from his great-aunt. “Oh, Flashy, you have no idea. When I first came up here to look for a restaurant job, the head chef flat out refused to let me do more than wash dishes, saying, ‘This kitchen is no place for a delicate flower.’ So, I said, ‘I am not a delicate flower. I am a tiger, and I will prove it to you.’ After that, well, the rest was history.” “Well, Tigress, since you know what’s good here better than anybody, why don’t we leave ordering to you?” said Grandma Birdie. “Just be sure not to get anything too spicy,” said Flash and Base’s mother Lantern Heart. “Flash can’t handle spicy food very well.” The waitress came by, and Aunt Tigress ordered the food. The meal started with a pot of jasmine tea and some crab and corn soup. Once the soup was finished, all the other dishes were laid out in quick succession. On the menu were shrimp with tofu, poached chicken served with scallions and cucumber, roast duck, braised spare ribs, a steamed, whole fish, and wide, flat rice noodles with beef and vegetables. “Whoa!” Flash exclaimed, looking at all the food. “All of this is one meal?” “I can’t believe Chef Firepot was just going to let us have all this on the house,” remarked Aunt Flare. “This looks like it took all day to make.” “I don’t know what exactly you did for his career, but the chef obviously thinks very highly of you for it, Tigress,” Birdie added. “Is it okay if I skip out on the fish?” Base asked, looking at the fish in distaste. His mother and his brother stared at him disbelievingly in response. “What? It still has its head on with the eyeballs and everything. The idea of eating it while it looks at you feels creepy.” “Base, it’s dead. Dead things can’t look,” Aunt Tigress dryly replied while serving herself to some of the fish. “Besides, the eyeball is the tastiest part.” “I’ll pass,” Base retorted just as dryly, helping himself to some chicken. Before taking a bite, he stared at it, noting how anemic it looked. He reached for what looked like a bottle of soy sauce, drizzled some on the chicken, and then took a bite. Immediately, his lips puckered as the rest of his face twisted in disgust. “Ugh! That is not soy sauce!” “Oh, yeah,” said Aunt Tigress. “I probably should have warned you about that. What you just poured on your chicken is actually Chinese black vinegar.” First Base whimpered when he heard that. He absolutely despised sour foods, including vinegar. However, he knew his mother was going to lecture him about wasting food if he didn’t eat his chicken, so he reluctantly forced it down. Flash was in the middle of putting a helping of noodles on his plate when he started feeling a bit of pressure on his lower abdomen. “Excuse me,” he said, getting up to use the bathroom. Seeing his older brother’s plate unattended, First Base turned to the condiment jars and saw what looked like chili flakes swimming in a bright red oil. He turned back to his brother’s plate and snickered as a wicked thought took shape in his head. Lantern Heart saw her youngest son reaching for the chili oil and scolded, “Don’t even think about it.” “Aww, Mom, come on,” Base cried. “I’m only going to put a little bit. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to end up hurting him.” “You know, Lighty, we could always just order an extra dessert to help Flash cool off later,” Flare said to her sister. “Flare!” Lantern cried. “What? Everything is half off anyway.” “I meant about letting my kids start a prank war in public and while we’re on vacation too.” “Sis, one prank doesn’t necessarily have to turn into a prank war. Besides, I’m sure Flash won’t mind letting Base have a laugh at his expense.” Before Lantern Heart could further protest, Tigress called the waitress over and asked her to bring out an order of almond jelly when Flash returned to the table. First Base interpreted this as a sign of permission and drizzled half a spoon of chili oil all over Flash’s noodles while his mother’s eyes went wide in horror. Flash returned and obliviously continued piling more food on his plate while his younger brother snickered inaudibly next to him. Lantern Heart just sat there and continued to stare. She wanted to just tell Flash what Base had done, but she and her family were on their first vacation in a long time, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin it. Before his mother could make up her mind about what to do, Flash took a big bite out of his noodles. Everyone watched in anticipation as he chewed. At first, nothing happened, but then, he frowned slightly. Soon after, his eyes widened as heat and realization set in. Flash fought the urge to spit out his half-chewed noodles and forced himself to swallow them. After all, no one wants to go to a restaurant and see someone spitting their food back out. “Oh, gosh!” he cried, as he reached for his teacup and gulped down its contents. “Crud! That just made it worse!”[24] First Base’s silent snickers exploded into a full-blown laugh attack after Flash started hiccupping. Aunt Flare and Aunt Tigress were laughing too, albeit much less loudly. “You—hic—didn’t!” Flash exclaimed, glaring at his younger brother. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry!” Lighty cried out. “I told your brother not to, but,” she paused and glared at her very amused twin, “your aunt thought letting him would be fun.” “Don’t—hic—worry about—hic—it, Mom,” Flash replied. “It wasn’t—hic—that spicy.” To Flash’s relief, the waitress brought a bowl of almond jelly over to their table. Flash scooped up a large spoonful and stuffed it into his mouth. “Okay,” Flash said after swallowing, “that feels a lot better.” He shot First Base, who was still laughing, another glare and deadpanned, “Are you happy now?” Shortly after, Lantern Heart got up to use the bathroom. She suddenly became very lightheaded and nearly collapsed against the table. “Mom, are you okay?” Flash asked, eyes wide with concern. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she answered. “I probably just got up too quickly.” “That’s weird,” Flare noted. “That’s never happened to you before. How are you feeling?” “Well, honestly, I am feeling pretty tired, but I have been working pretty hard lately.” “We’ve been on vacation for the last three days,” Grandma added. “Why would you be getting tired now?” “It’s probably nothing, but if you’re really worried, I’ll get it checked out when we get back home. We’ve still got two days left of our vacation, and I don’t want us to spend it worrying about me. I’ll be fine.”