Anamnesis

by Background Bystander


Soaring Searches

Streets sped past him as he galloped through town, the busy ponies all becoming a blur. Each muscle flexing in perfect form, picking up the pace to keep up with his panicking mind. He should've guessed something like this would happen to Louis, making him lash out and leave him behind. No way Louis could last 5 minutes by his lonesome. Then again, neither could he.

He screeched to a stop upon reaching an intersection, ripping up chunks of dirt as his hooves skidded. He looked down each direction, hoping to detect his frenzied friend, but he couldn’t see anyone who matched his physique. Nor his colors. Or his mental state.

A pair of mares sluggishly stumbled to his side, sputtering and swallowing what little breath they could catch from the impromptu dash, “Mellow…slow down…we’re not athletes…” Twilight sputtered, magically wiping sweat from her brow.

“You’re fine,” He dismissed quickly, as if her wellbeing was of any concern to him now. Louis promised him she did no harm, but that face created from the photo told him otherwise. “We gotta split up. He couldn’t have gone that far, but in his current state, all bets are off. He could’ve zapped himself halfway across the world for all we know.”

“No…there’s…no way he could do something like…that…” Starlight gasped, shaking out her hooves, “He’s probably still in town...perhaps somepony stopped him.”

“Then we’re looking now. Twilight, you take the skies, see if you can get a beat on him. I’ll search the streets, ask if anypony’s seen him running.”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably, “But Mellow, you’re clearly the stronger pegasus here, I think it’s best you-“

“The skies, Twilight!” He shouted, making her jump as her wings unfurled midair, “And if you don’t find him, then meet us at 5150 Mile high, now go!” With that final push, she rushed off over the rooftops, leaving him with her not-so-feathery friend, “And you…” He pointed to Starlight, making her stand up straight, “…Watch those cupcakes.”

“Seriously?” She snapped, looking to the bag they borrowed from Pinkie.

Yes,” He snarled, getting in her face, “You’re gonna watch those cupcakes with the fierce eyes of a hawk, making sure not a single sprinkle is spilled, every meticulous detail placed on that pastry is kept in mint condition. That’s what you’re doing.”

Suddenly, her hardened features slowly softened with concern. “Ok…sure…look, Mellow, you know we’re-“

“Enough, Starlight. Just watch the cupcakes, please?” He demanded, turning face, “Like I told her, meet us at 5150 when it's all said and done, got it?”

“Ok, I will, but really we’re-“

“Thanks, bye!” He yelled, legs springing him into a full-blown sprint as he hurled down the streets, making a sharp left turn and slipping out of sight.


"Sigh...of course he'd go somewhere like this."

Ambrose trekked all over town, hoping to get an inkling of information as to his insane friends whereabouts, "Excuse me, have you seen a stallion around here?" He was like a broken record, endlessly repeating that phrase at nauseum to any pony he came across. Occasionally it would skip forward, allowing him to add, "Small? Scrawny? Scared? About half his weight in hair, dragging along like a distraught bride?"

Over and over, he would present them this question, getting a wide array of answers from his chosen contestants:

"Sorry...ma'am, haven't seen him."

"Nope."

"How should I know?"

"Nah, sorry."

"Uhhhh...maybe? I don't know."

"Muffin?"

Every one was incorrect, not even phone a friend could find them what he desperately desired.

“Arrgh, this is ridiculous! How has he managed to slip past everyone here?” He huffed, pacing down the path. Should he wait till tomorrow? It was getting late, and he could be anywhere now; shit, with that new teleportation ability, he could be gone for good! What if…he asked for a police search? The Pony Police? Well, they were getting pretty close to a so-called princess, maybe they could send a royal search party for-no, that’d be even worse.

“Hey, I think I know who you’re looking for.” Said a voice from behind him.

Where?” He exclaimed, rushing up to them.

Just a little too quick, as she jumped at his speed. “Ah! I didn’t do anything to him, I swear!” She covered her face in fear, her body wilting like a flower.

“Wha-no I,” He stepped back. “Sorry, didn’t mean to close the gap like that, but I really need to find him quick. Before he gets himself even more lost.”

She got back to her hooves, “Well, he was certainly making some ground when he passed by me, I’ll say. I turned around and there was this giant, swirly hairball coming straight at me. He looked like if a mane has suddenly gained life, nearly scared me stiff!”

“I apologize. I’ve hoped he would get a clue…and a cut for a while now,” He shook his head. “Never mind that, which way did he go?”

“Last I saw he ran off that way,” She pointed a hoof south, “Talking to himself also, something about twenty-four million, five-hundred-“

Ambrose gave an annoyed groan, gazing to the ground in aggravation, “You stupid son of a-going over there, you idiot!” She gave him a sad look, like she felt solely responsible for his plight. “It’s nothing you did, trust me. It’s just-“ His wings slid down his face with a sigh. “I’ve got him now, thank you for keeping a keen eye…err-“

“Oh! Uh…my names Roseluck.” She replied casually.

Ambrose’s eyes widened. “Wait…Rose…luck?”

“Yup, that’s…my name, as all ponies do…have names,” She laughed anxiously, becoming an even paler palette, “There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“Heh, no, you’re good,” He chuckled, silencing a snort. “Again, don’t worry about it. I’m Mellow Yellow, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you. That’s a very pretty name.” She said, as a smile slowly blossomed.

He looked away from Roseluck, matching a shade similar to one, “Thanksyoutoo!” He said quickly, sprinting past her, “Gotta go, thanks again!”

“Best of luck finding him!” She shouted, waving goodbye.

Luck…he was definitely going to need a large dose of that when combing over these colossal columns of apples.

“You gotta be kidding me, this place has gotta be hundreds of acres wide! How the hell am I supposed to search all of this in a single week, let alone afternoon?”

And that’s when he remembered a certain ability the choice of creature he currently inhabited carried.

“Goddamnit Lou, you fucking asshole.” He growled to himself, walking in place as he attempted to work over his nerves. His very shaky nerves shooting out across an even shakier body.

It couldn’t be that hard, surely? After all, he could clearly control every other part he’d been saddled with; he even wrangled the ability to willfully wiggle his ears and flick the fur flowing from his backside without force. All these really are is an extension to his exterior, a few more feathery limbs fastened to his back. A set of limbs that could shoot him into the sky…

…And plummet to a splatter on the ground.

Shit.

At least they looked pretty strong, considering they had to compensate for his incredibly bulky body. Maybe they'll do most of the work as his brain was busy in freak out land, trying to comprehend a capability humans only achieved in fiction.

“…You lucky prick, ooo, I have to move things with my mind, aww look at me, I lifted this remote by rubbing together the two brain cells in my head, real fucking hard, magic man…” He mocked under his breath, looking over the apple fields. “C’mon Ambrose, you can do this…you can do this…”

“Well then if you can, I’m not seeing a whole lotta effort, Rosey.”

Ambrose looked over, head hanging low. “I…I don’t know, what if I crash? What if I miss the mark and end up breaking something? Or some things?

She smirked to herself, still sifting through radio stations. “Please, she once went face first into some jackass’s front yard. Full speed, front bumper kissing the dirt, wheels splayed out from a broken axle, and she still bounced back,” She looked at him over her sunglasses, “She’s a tough ‘ol bird, there’s nothing you can do to her she hasn’t already gone through with me.”

He pawed the dirt slightly, “Oh, o-ok.”

“Other than deny her a good time, Ambrose. Now, wake her up.”

Ambrose nodded and widened his stance, slowly unfurling his wings to their full form. Just as a big gust hit him head-on, the wind wiggling its way deep within his wingtips, fingering every feather it found…it was so foreign. So exotic. So overwhelming, he quickly snapped them shut, stumbling back as his breath became heavy.

“Heh-heh, yeah, I remember my first time,” She chuckled, leaning into pet the dashboard, “Easy now…shhshh…it’s ok, he’s a friend.”

Ambrose steadied himself, releasing the tail he had unconsciously tucked between his legs.

“Alrighty Rosey, she’s all antsy now. Don’t leave her hanging, or I’ll have to start calling you Rosebud.”

“Gross, even for you.” Ambrose said, preparing what he assumed was the proper stance once more, crouching down to the equivalent of a runner's stance, “Now what?” He asked, still nervous to the titan of a task before him.

“You gotta put it in drive first,” He exhaled and started a steady trot. “She’s not a cherry, give it some gas.” Turning into a gallop, the wind whipping through his wings, speeding up his scared mind.

Shit, here we go, He thought to himself.

“Easy now, ready?” Ambrose gulped as he closed his eyes. “Now!”

He sprang into the air, franticly flapping his wings to gain altitude. Unfortunately, he had stalled, gaining no lift as he landed on the ground with a hard thud, face first in the dirt. He quickly jumped up to try again…and again…and again, but to no avail, “Son of a bitch!” He shouted, pounding the dirt.

“Language,” She scolded, “Now tell me, what went wrong?”

“What went wrong?” He parroted angrily, “I don’t know, alright? I thought I had the form down, but-arrgh-this is too much!” He buried his face in his hooves, “There’s no way I’ll get off the ground, I'll never stay afloat long enough!”

“How can you tell? You never even began an attempt. You just gave some gas for a few seconds,” He sat in self-pity, secluding himself in his wings. She looked away and smiled. “You’re thinking too hard about all of this.”

“What?” He shouted in shock. “What do you mean thinking too hard? I’m trying to fu…freaking fly here, and you’re saying I’m thinking too hard? Controlling my wings, dealing with the wind, and finding Lou-it’s just…I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, but instead of focusing on the task at hand, you’ve got your head crammed with all this other useless crap. Geez, I can see it seeping out your ears it’s so rancid!” He splayed them in shame, “You gotta relax. That brain is moving a lot faster than the rest of your body. Find a way to get the two of them in sync, find that rhythm, the v-v-v-v-vibrations!” She shook her hips in the seat, making him sway.

“S-Stop it!” He giggled, wings fluttering slightly.

“C’mon, you really gotta f-f-feel it!” She rocked even more, shaking him silly by the shoulders.

“Alright, I’m feeling it!” He jumped, flapping his wings in excitement, falling to the ground once more.

“Slow down, Bandit, let’s get in motion first before we start getting fancy.”

“Right…right,” He calmed down, looking at the long dirt road looming before him. He exhaled deeply, “Ok, I think I’m ready,” He said, looking over. “But…I wouldn't mind a little help? Just to get going?”

She shook her head and smiled, “Still spooked, huh? You sure you’re my son?” Embers of embarrassment stoked on his face, “I’m just kidding, Rosey cheeks, damn!” She slowly stopped laughing. “Ok-ok, enough screwing around,” She gently took his hoof in her hand, softly stroking his fur, “Least I could do is shift you in the right direction.”

“Uh, don’t I need all four limbs to run properly?”

She waved a dismissive hand. “Nah! You’ll be juuust fine, now punch it!”

He blasted from his position like a bullet, barreling down the road. Perhaps the best way to describe it was bumbling since her holding his hoof handicapped him in the rhythm he oh-so-needed. Soon, he picked up speed as he continued to stumble down the straightaway, “This isn’t working, give me my hoof back!”

“Thinking too much, Ambrose! Dump that shit, drain your brain!” She hollered excitedly.

So he did just that, forcing his eyes to focus forward, letting his thoughts trickle to nothing. Fears of failing soon faded away, shakes of sluggish movements were soon snuffed out. Now all that was left was just him, her, and the road.

“Now!” She shouted, signaling some fumbling footwork and gripping of gears to lunge the car forward. The road began to blur, the whole world whizzing past as powerful pistons pulsated through the roaring phoenix, burning all throughout his body.

Whoa…” He murmured in awe, the feeling of the car rumbling rattling through his hands.

“Alright, Ambrose, next shift!” Slightly better this time, filling him fuller with these new sensations. The speed, the sounds…it was exhilarating.

“Again!” Even smoother as they shifted forward, the thunderous boom of the engine as he pressed on the throttle, “This…is amazing!” He cheered, watching the needle stitch across the speedometer, hoping to tear it all the way to the right.

“Ha, see? I told you, scaredy cat!” She said as he kept laughing in excitement, “But don’t get cocky now, we still got another shift to go!”

He didn’t even need to think about it this time, shifting forward as the car climb in speed, careening down the road. He couldn’t but smile with glee. He was right where he needed to be, behind the wheel of this speed demon. It was who he was meant to be.

“Woohoo! Way to go, Rosey!” She proudly hugged his arm, “You’re really kicking ass now…even at 40 miles per hour.”

“Yes-yes-yes! And to think I was so scared!” He laughed, leaning back in his seat. “But luckily, I had you here to help.”

“Me?” She giggled, “I didn’t help on nothing. That was all you, Rosey.”

Confused, Ambrose looked to his hand, noticing it’d taken on a golden hue, “Huh?” He looked back at the wheel, seeing it’d now stretched and separated into apple trees, rows and rows stretching out over the horizon. As he looked down at the orchard, he caught on to a rhythmic flapping on each side of his body. He slowly looked back, his eyes climbing up…and down…updown. He couldn’t believe it…he was…

FlyingI’m flying…I’M FLYING!” He shouted in amazement, spinning around in glee to glimpse at his wings beating, the feeling cascading all over his face with a bright smile, “Mom! Mom! Look, I’m flying! I’m actually fly-“ He looked beside him.

“…Mom?”

He searched frantically, but she was nowhere to be found. Because she was never anywhere to begin with. Everything that’d just unfolded was mere figments of his imagination.

But there was something, a visage of a face flickering through the faded orange patterns in the clouds. She gave him one last smile before they slowly dispersed into a clear sky, revealing the rest of the apple farm to his search.

He gave a small one in return as a tiny tear treaded down his cheek, “Thank you.” He whispered, and flew off towards the rest of the fields.


"Vanilla? Where are you, Vanilla Fudge?"

That name. The one he once thought a lazy joke spurred from his childish lashing the night of the brownies...now it sounded more like his death sentence. In fact, every event he’d experienced today had become a waking nightmare. Being dragged around to destinations unknown by those who had ripped him from his home…his life. Instead crafting their own fantasies, forcing freaked out friend into the roles of romantics. I mean, he cared for Ambrose without a doubt, but he didn’t care for him that way!

Last night’s dream was dripping into his reality. Because here he was once again hiding amongst the trees, while a ferocious beast patrolled the skies for its next feast. Out of all the apples it could crave, only the bruised and battered could satisfy its appetite. Sucking out his soul and spitting the remains like seeds before returning to heel at its mares. Its masters.

They must have Ambrose secluded somewhere; maybe there’s a dungeon under the castle, clamped to cold walls by chains as rats wait for him to rot so they could dine on his well-balanced corpse. Plenty of protein, that’s for sure. This damn fake, to think he was ever a believer of these deceivers, creating tales they subjected his tail to. Well, you know what? Enough is enough! Time to grip those gonads he was so graciously gifted and do some man shit!

“Hey!” He shouted, slowly surfacing from his hiding spot.

The figure stopped and turned to him, a sadistic smile appearing, “There you are!” It floated down to his level, “You have no idea how good it is to finally find you, Lou.”

“You too, man. You too, real apple of my eye you are.” He said flatly.

“Ha ha, funny,” It said lightly, “What the hell got you so spooked? And why would run all the way out here no less…who knows what kind of animals are waiting out here.”

“Oh yeah, Ambrose, I got spooked alright, right down to my core.” He continued, slowly sauntering over to a tree.

“Uh…ok…” It said, mimicking an uneasy tone. “Well c’mon, let’s get out of here and make amends. Best we can do now with you leaving like that.”

“Leave?” He snorted, “Yeah, I took my leave, then I took this leaf, and that leaf,” He picked up a few in his hooves, “I needed to take all of these leaves…”

He was confusing the creature, throwing it off its rhythm, “So…is that why you’re out here in the trees?”

“Yes absolutely,” He continued, “I needed something sturdy, something strong. And an apple tree was indeed the answer, man, bearing fruit ripe and ready!”

“…What the fuck are you talking about-“ A sharp knock silenced the demon, as he heaved a hard buck into the tree behind him, “What the-what are you doing, Lou?”

“I know exactly what I’m doing, it’s you who has made a slip, you fucking she-demon!” He said, as the tree shook violently.

"Wait, what?" It responded in surprise.

“That's right! You should’ve done your homework, bitch! Thinking I would fall for your tricks? Ambrose doesn’t even know how to fly!” He exclaimed, pointing an accusatory hoof.

Bam, got ‘em! The creature quickly became flustered, fumbling around for an impossible comeback. All it could muster was a shrug of its shoulders and a nervous chuckle, “Heh heh…uh, guess who just learned they could?”

A weak response, leaving Louis strong as he waited for ammo to appear from the trees, dozens of fruit ready to fling, it’s game time!

…Time for a couple shells to shiver off their branches.

He watched as they bounced around before rolling unceremoniously at his hooves, “…what?

“Please don't, I’m not in the mood for this again…” It started to fly towards him, making its move!

“Stay back!” He warned, loading the munitions in his magic, “I’m armed!...Hooved!...Apple-d!”

“Lou, you’re embarrassing yourself, just-oof!”

Right on point! The sweet shrapnel of skin spraying across its body! “How do you like them apples?” He stuck out his tongue, then sprinted down the other direction.

“Why you little-come here!”

The chase commenced, as Louis threw himself around every turn, zig-zagging between the tree lines and doubling back when he could to create confusion. All the while still launching trebuchets as he stripped them from the branches, hoping to pelt his pursuer into submission. Each throw was a little more accurate than the last…though the broad side of a barn still proved a formidable threat.

On the other hand, Ambrose was busy trying to dip and dart around the fruity debris on defense. Flicking his feathers and twisting his torso worked well, even managing to catch a few apples in his hooves. It was exhilarating, but exerting all this energy quickly turned to exhaustion as his wings struggled to stay in sync.

“What’s the matter…getting tired?” Louis blurted, sweat streaming off of his scalp.

“Louis, please…I’m trying to help you!” Ambrose sputtered, nearly running into multiple branches.

“Like hell you are, you ain’t sucking my soul!” Louis responded, ripping another apple from the trees. As it was pulled into his magical grip, so to did an idea grip his brain.

“Dude, c’mon, just stop!” Ambrose shouted with force, making his body unstable.

Now was his chance, “Oh I’ll stop…stop you!” In one swift motion, Louis stopped and swiveled on a single hoof. He pulled the apple in his aura taut like a slingshot, shooting straight as an arrow!

Ambrose was too tired to avoid. The apple cannonball clipped his wing, stalling him into a speedy spiral, toppling his aerial supremacy.

“Eat shit, asshole! Have a nice fall!” He mocked, wearing a wicked grin. And Ambrose did fall, just not where he’d hoped, since he was going to be the safety net.

Ambrose attempted to steer away best he could, but it was no use as he slammed into Louis, sending them both head-over-hoof into a roll. Eventually coming to a stop, atop one another amidst annihilated apples and torn up acres.

“Smooth moves, featherbrain, you did that on purpose!” Louis snapped, squirming to slip free.

“Oh yeah, I totally meant to get shot out of the sky by some manic marksman…who can’t aim for shit.” Ambrose grunted.

“Hmph, still tagged you when it mattered, didn’t I?”

“How’s that working out for you?” Ambrose retorted to his buried friend.

“Just get off of me.” Louis muttered in defeat.

Many grunts and struggles of annoyance could be heard as the two tried to untangle themselves from the ground.

“Hey, watch it, man!”

“How about you watch where you stick that horn!”

“Augh-there’s apple pulp here…”

“Easy-easy, you’re on my wing!”

Ack-gross, it’s in my mouth!”

“Stop, don’t pull it!”

“I’m trying to get myself out, man.”

“Well don’t do it yet, it’s still stuck! Move a little that way!”

“…There, better?”

Much better.”

“Good, let’s try that again.”

"Aha!" Cried a completely new voice, as both their bodies were immediately illuminated, "Got ya now, ya good for...nothing...varmints..." A shocked southern drawl dragging out the final word.

They looked over the stranger, standing there with a light by her side. A normal pony-no frills, feathers or horn-of an orange coat and blonde mane, and giant green eyes popping out from a freckle speckled face.

"H-Hello there." Ambrose squeaked, followed by a suffocating silence as they continued to stare at each other.

Louis broke the stalemate as a peculiar question appearing in his mind...

"Is that a cowboy hat?"