“That is quite something, Anon.” Celestia reacted.
You had told her everything, from what had transpired today, to your problems with Chancellor Neighsay. She didn’t wig out, complain, or interrupt you as you basically spilled your guts out to her. If anything, she just seemed curious to hear more.
“Yeah, and it’s why I need your help. And, uh, none of that bothers you? Really? Even the whole Storm King thing?” You asked, curious as to why she didn’t seem angry or pissed at you about the Storm King situation you had explained to her. Or everything with Neighsay.
She shook her head. “No, maybe, perhaps a bit. But Twilight did handle it and given you were forgiven for what occurred, I can’t really scold you for it. But I can ask you to be more careful, can’t I?”
“Yeah, um, I promise. Thanks for not being mad at me, well, mostly not mad.” It was all you could ask for. Mostly, you just didn’t want to deal with her being angry at you after actually getting through to Twilight and everyone forgiving you anyway. But there was also the fact you brought all of it up in the first place just to see if she got mad. There was just one part of you that wanted to tell her off. But this was probably for the better.
“No need to thank me. If anything, I appreciate your honesty, even Twilight would have been scared to tell me such information if she was the one to cause it.” Celestia tells you as her smile becomes warmer.
“Yeah, I can actually see that being a thing.” You say, which causes Celestia to giggle. “Wha? What’s so funny about that?” You thought she’d be insulted.
“It’s just, now that I think about it, you seem to have this contradictory issue of knowing exactly what you should do, but you either won’t do it, or will do it near perfectly. Honestly, I wish you were here when I received friendship letters from Twilight and her friends. Seeing what you’d write would have been a treat.” Celestia said as she stood up, and began to exit the archive, looking back at you to beckon you over, to follow her.
Oh, she thought so, huh? Well, it is true, if you had to deal with the USUAL problems Twilight and her friends dealt with an entire season, you know you’d have aced it no problem. “I mean, I know about what they went through, and I think it’s all pretty minor compared to what I have to deal with. Mostly, not all of it, just mostly.” You tell her, with confidence, as you follow her.
“Mostly, you say, interesting. Well, let us try some scenarios then. First, how would you have handled an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala? I want you to take note that you have two tickets. One for you, and one for a friend.” Celestia asks as she heads towards the throne room through the hallways, her pace rather slow given the situation.
“Uh, I’d take Diamond, of course. It’d be a date, and everypony would have to understand that.” Easy.
“Hm, a good answer. Alright, let’s try something more complicated. Say you had a prized pet of mine, and it suddenly expires in your care. What would you do?” Celestia asks, as she stops near a passing guard and whispers something in his ear. He returns her words with a salute, and hurries down the hallway.
You know that episode, but that is kind of tough to answer. Wait, no it isn’t. “Would this pet be a phoenix?”
“Yes, actually.” Celestia replies as she continues her trek.
“Then I know it’s gonna come back from its own ashes. C’mon, Princess, you gotta give me a tougher one.” This is way too easy, geez. You really would have handled the earlier seasons without a problem.
“I do indeed. Alright, let’s try this one, it should be easy for you. Say you have a sleepover with a couple of friends. Unfortunately, these two friends have very opposing viewpoints on how a sleepover should go and start arguing, even fighting. What would you do to calm the situation and make sure that sleepover is the best one ever?” Hoo, she sounded pretty cheery on that one.
“Personally, I’d tell them to cut the crap or I’m kicking both of them out. Either compromise, or leave, I ain’t dealing with it.” Seriously, how petty both Applejack and Rarity could be is pretty damn bad. Even if it wasn’t those two, you were sure any two ponies would make it a miserable experience if they tried to have it completely their way.
“Ahrm, that is a valid answer, I suppose. A little blunt, but it isn’t a bad answer.” Celestia seemed to accept that answer, even if she felt it was being too hard on whatever two friends you may have had in mind. “Alright, final scenario. You’ve asked a dear friend for help in discussing important matters with somepony who is overly stubborn and narrow minded. Although you might expect this friend to help you immensely, it is ultimately-” But you interrupt Celestia right there, because goddammit, you knew what she was gonna say.
You just narrow your eyes at her, annoyed, as you finish her sentence. “...Up to me to convince him to not go insane on me, Twilight, the school, and everything in between. You know, you didn’t need to mention that, I already knew what I had to do.”
“I know you do, I could already tell you were committed to doing the right thing. But you didn’t let me get to my question.” Celestia said to you, showing immense patience to your interruption.
“Which was?” You ask, deeply wondering what it could be, given you already knew what you had to do.
“My question was going to be how we destress ourselves after we’re done speaking with him. Are you aware of how stubborn and hard to talk to he is? I may be a long lived and highly experienced Princess, but I still know what a headache feels like. Between you and me, Anon, I swear I sometimes believe I contracted the flu speaking to him on matters that are, well, how to put this… Hmmmmm, ah, well, let’s just say these matters are simply always something he has to be negative about.” Celestia said as she leaned back on her throne, sighing. “This is going to be a very bad time, I can feel it. I’m not prepared for it, but I will do what I must.”
Christ. Well, you can’t say you didn’t know how bad it was going to be. The guy was an asshole and a pretty big racist. Given what you were going to tell him, there was no guarantee things would even work out. “Uhm, I-I see. So you even have trouble with the guy, huh? Um, what do you think will happen if this doesn’t work out.”
“Nothing good. I won’t let the blame fall on you, however. Simply because, without you, he may have done something else, something much worse, when it came to your nonpony friends.” Celestia then looks down at you, she looked serious as she tried to relax herself. “Know this, Anon, this will not be easy. We will both need to do our best, and not slip on our own words and logic, if we even hope to convince him to let us handle things.”
“Yeah…” You suddenly felt even more tense than before. Seeing Celestia nervous like that, it made you feel shaky and doubtful. It was amazing she was as composed as is, given how bad things would go for Twilight if things don’t go your way. “S-so, when are we doing this? Tonight? Tomorrow?”
“Probably in ten more minutes when he comes bounding through one of his portals.” Celestia said as she took yet another calming breath.
“Ten more minutes? WAIT?! TEN MINUTES?! HOW?! WHY SO SOON?!” You weren’t ready! Holy fuck, how did she manage that?!
“Because what we say must come from the heart, and not from some preconceived plan. As for my estimation, well, I did send one of my guards to deliver a message personally to him. Given what it was, he will no doubt waste no time in making his way here. You need to be ready for his arrival, Anon. We both must be ready.” Celestia told you in a sterner voice, bracing herself for anything.
HOLY FUCK! YOU WERE NOT READY TO DO THIS, NOT THIS SOON! “Wait! WAIT! I still need to prepare something. That guy probably has stacks of rebuttals for stuff like this. There is such a thing as mentally imagining every way a conversation can go, you know that, right?!”
Celestia nodded. “I do. And Chancellor Neighsay is one to be prepared for all of our thoughts we’d have prepared for him, without needing preparations.”
“That’s why I needed time! I wasn’t just gonna plan the conversation in my head, no, I was going to make sure I had everything ready in my head! Like, rebuttals, key points, objections, and even pointing out his own hypocrisy! ‘From the heart’ doesn’t work for me! That’s not how I operate! In fact, it’s freaking dumb! Do you speak from the heart when you make speeches? Or do you read from a prewr-” But you stop yourself there, because if it came to anything important, she most likely did speak from the heart. You groan, and try to straighten yourself up. “I’m just gonna say this was a bad idea, and you should know that.”
Celestia shook her head as she readied herself, even bracing herself for Neighsay’s appearance. “Have faith, Anon.” Princess Celestia approaches you, and gently rubs her hoof along your head. “You are capable of anything, if you just believe in yourself.”
D-dammit! Why did she have to pet you like that! You quickly move back away from her and give her the ole’ stink eye. “‘Believe in myself’, huh? Sure, fine, whatever. But just to let you know, when it comes to humans, things aren’t so easy peasy as ‘believing in yourself’.”
Celestia took a moment to smirk at you, giving you a wink. “Oh? And when was the last time you were human?”
“You know what I mean! I swear to fuc-Gyah! Oh geez! He’s here!” A blue portal suddenly bursts open in the middle of the throne room. Stepping through was the Chancellor himself, stepping in like he was some snooty royalty. As the portal disappeared behind him, he took a shifty look to his left and right. Then, when he looked forward, he was suddenly surprised, in a pleasant sense. “Well, well, suddenly everything makes more sense.” He chuckled as he approached the throne. “Anon was the one who discovered the deception, I should have known.” The chancellor approached the throne and bowed before Princess Celetia. “Your majesty, I’ve received word from your guards that the evil Queen Chrysalis is up to no good. While the EEA is not any sort of military organization, we will defend Equestria all the same. Oh yes, might I add that you should have heeded my words, as the Queen’s army will not be felled so easily.”
“You seemed to have misheard the news, Chancellor. She has no army, it’s just her.” Celestia informs him.
He scoffs at those words. “Ha! Do you expect me to believe such tripe? Perhaps we should hear what Anon has to say. Anon, surely you have new information that can disprove Princess Celestia’s naïve statement.”
FUCK! FUCK! Your ears fold as you look to Celestia, who looks back at you and tilts her heads towards the Chancellor. She wanted you to speak, hopefully saying the right thing. Fine, fine, stop being a pussy. Just go for it! “Uhm, actually, Chancellor. She’s right. The changelings pretty much hate their queen’s guts. They have no reason to side with her.”
“No reason to- wha? No, you can’t be that naïve. She birthed them, didn’t she? Loyalty to your birth mother is not easily shirked. They are masters of deception. Everything on that counsellor’s report could have been false. The one known as Ocellus could have fooled everypony in that school to allow a way for her queen to infiltrate. It’s obvious, isn’t it? I know the security in Ponyville has increased substantially, there is a reason for that, and you know what it is. And with all that said, how could she possibly not have her changelings helping her?” Neighsay was already on the offensive, believing his logic to be solid. He’s not technically wrong… When it comes to Scrappy. But that was just Scrappy.
Hell, given what just happened at the castle with Ocellus, you knew for a fact she’d never rejoin Chrysalis. Hell, why would any changeling join her at this point? Putting this in your mind, you actually already knew a way to challenge Neighsay, only realizing now how powerful your proof actually is. You bravely step forth to oppose him. “Actually, you seem to be missing some details. In fact, the changelings have no reason to join Chrysalis. Or any evil force for that matter.”
Neighsay raised an eyebrow at you, no longer amused by your ‘naivety’ as he found the fact you were now defending changelings, in terms of fighting for Chrysalis, disgusting. “And why is that?”
“Because their new forms are based on genuine love, goodness, and caring. It allows them to remain fed without having to take from others. Nor do they need to hunt for their food supply. They don’t even have a need to store their supply in cocoons. It would literally be suffering if they went back to being evil. Furthermore, Ocellus has been really really expressive for her distaste for Chrysalis. It upsets her to even think about it.” There was no way he could argue that!
And, it seemed you were right. His eyes went wide, and he suddenly went into deep thought. That’s when Celestia started speaking, to add to your words. “I can see you’re searching for some sort of rebuttal, Chancellor. But I can assure you Anon is correct. I had admitted that their current king was under my and my sister’s care to you before, and I can show you letters I had recently received from him in terms of considering reconciling with Chrysalis. From the letters he has sent back, there is a consensus that trusting her is ‘beyond insane’.”
And even still, he remained silent. He began to slowly shake, before looking back at the both of you with an aggravated yet defeated expression. “Fine then, that is adequate enough logic to explain why she isn’t backed by her children. So then, why all this? If she had some secret plan to attack Ponyville on her own, then it seems it is already doomed to fail. In fact, if you knew she was planning an attack, then you must know where she is. You can theoretically have dealt with her at any time. Unless… Hmmm.” He thought about it just a bit more before finally saying something that filled you with dread, it even surprised Celestia. “She is just the one changeling you’re trying to reform. Is that it, Princess Celestia? If that is what it is, one must wonder why you need to secure Ponyville if you are attempting to reform her.”
Right guess, wrong pony he was blaming. You gulped, because Celestia was waiting. She was waiting for you to correct him on this. “Actually, sir, ahrm. I am the one trying to reform Queen Chrysalis.”
“What?!” Chancellor Neighsay was taken aback, he was not expecting that at all. “You, Anon? That is impossible. You have been upholding the ideals of the EEA for as long as I have known you. Why would you associate yourself with her. Unless…” Suddenly, Neighsay’s tone became grave as he seemed to become fearful of his own thoughts. “She has you in a trance. Anon, she must have manipulated you by pretending to be a mother figure to you. Princess Celestia, you can’t tell me you didn’t come to that same conclusion. It’s too obvious!”
“Er, actually, she did try that. And it failed, because that’s not how it works for me.” K-keep going, Anon, you have him on the defensive at the moment.
“Try? Try?! Then what is going on?! How long has this been going on?! I demand answers! Now!” Chancellor Neighsay suddenly slammed his hoof down, stepping forward as he suddenly became angry and demanding. “Princess Celestia, you, it must be you. Or perhaps it is the fault of your former pupil. To allow this fiendish queen to be out and about, knowing she’s planning an attack! I-Why?! Tell me, now!”
“Chancellor, I am going to ask you to calm down. There is indeed a reasonable explanation for this. Both Anon and I shall explain it to you, but only if you are willing to listen without interruption.” Celestia said in a stern voice, obviously getting tired of his shit.
“Oh, I can assure you that I am calm. But willing to listen? That depends, is this story honest? Is what I’m about to hear truthful? Because if it isn’t, I will find out, and I will act upon my findings myself.” Neighsay warns.
Celestia nods. “I can assure you everything we have to say is the truth. I, and Anon as well, have no reason to lie, as it would only jeopardize what we are trying to do.”
“Jeopardize, you say?” Neighsay said, skeptical of it all. “Well then, proceed, I can only assume this will be quite the tale.”
And with that, and Celestia taking on the first part of the story, you and her went along explaining to him how Chrysalis came to be in your home. You went only in depth enough with your relationship with her, leaving out things like Jimmy, but indeed mentioning the other Equestria. Celestia explained her part in this, mostly her time with Thorax and her power play on the rest of the changelings. This all went on to eventually explain the shackles on your legs, Twilight’s involvement, and what Chrysalis plans to do.
“...It is extremely unorthodox to allow one to attack somepony I hold dear, Chancellor. But given the circumstances, I can say Princess Twilight’s victory is more than guaranteed.” Celestia says, ending the long winded explanation.
“Given the circumstances…” He says to himself silently before stepping closer to you, looking down upon you as if you were his screw up of a child. “Raise your right foreleg, Anon.”
“E-er, ok? What? Do you want to see the shackles?” You ask as you reluctantly lift your leg for him.
“Precisely.” He answers as he leans his head down, taking a look at the shackles on your leg, and even giving it a little zap with his horn. “I may know very little about chaos magic, but I know a cursed artifact when I see one. A soul pact, as it were, signified by these shackles. It takes pure insanity for somepony to place this kind of curse upon themselves. Is she that hungry for revenge?”
“Not really, I think. She’s more angry than hungry, she lost her children, you know? I think she’s just desperate for one more shot before she gives in to friendship.” He didn’t seem so angry anymore. Hell, was he finally beginning to understand?
“Friendship, I hear that word more and more lately.” Neighsay said as he raised his hoof, and made a gesture for you to lower your hoof. He then eyed Celestia as he said his next words. “Influencing Anon, the hero colt, in such a way as to attempt a friendship experiment? Reputations are on the line here, Princess Celestia, for all of us.”
“What?! She didn’t influence me! nopony did! I did this on my own!” You cried out. Holy fuck, what was he fucking talking about?!
“The friendship of beings like her is something that I can expect out of Princess Celestia. You’re naïve, Anon. She nearly doomed us by pulling the same stunt on her own pupil. Luckily, your father has behaved himself since his betrayal. Not something I can be confident about when it comes to a being who is evil rather than whimsically deranged.” Oh yeah, he was starting to get on your nerves now.
“Do you think that is what it is?! I told you, I made friends with her on my own, after me and my dad pranked her! Princess Celestia, nor Princess Twilight, didn't even know about it until much later!” You nearly bark out at him, your frustration mounting.
“They didn’t have to know, they only needed to fill your head with nonsense. You’re the Hero Colt, and with friendship on your side, you can do anything.” He said, with a dark sarcasm in his tone. “The only oddity here is the curse itself. I admit, it doesn’t make too much sense to put yourself at such a terrible disadvantage, especially with no army to fight by your side. And yet you tell me she plans to reform herself should she fail.” Suddenly, Neighsay just shrugs. “It seems I have no choice but to let you have your way.”
What in the fuck?! Did he just say that?! “Seriously? Just because of that one thing, you’re just suddenly ok with it? I-I mean, that’s good. Because we are just this close to making everything work.”
But Celestia only narrowed her eyes at him, not at all trusting him in anything he said. “That isn’t like you, Chancellor. I assume there is some sort of catch.”
“You’d be correct. Since Anon here seems to be quite sure of success, then there is no reason for the EEA to intervene. Why should we? We aren’t military, so it really has nothing to do with us. However, Princess Twilight’s teachings all have to do with friendship. A dangerous concept about friendship, as far as I am concerned. As this could teach others to attempt to reform those who have only our destruction in mind, leading to deceit, chaos, and obliteration. This concept is in play at this very moment, with Anon’s supposed friend. Therefore, it is within my power to not only revoke Princess Twilight’s licenses and permits for her school, but yours as well.” Neighsay said, as he began to show a triumphant little smirk towards Celestia.
“So then, you expect me to wager my school and reputation, as well as Princess Twilight’s, on this reformation?” Celestia asked, already knowing his answer.
“Correct. And is that so difficult? If you are all so sure of success, then this shouldn’t be a problem. Let me put it more simply. If I win, we will take control of your school, and shut down Princess Twilight’s forever. If you win, I will personally be at your beck and call, and I shall be the first to approve both yours and Princess Twilight’s requests.. Refusal will mean we at least take over Twilight’s school and conduct our own thorough investigation on all matters concerning nonponies.” Neighsay said, feeling victorious and unbeatable.
“Which would lead to her school being shut down anyway, I assume?” Celestia asked.
“Who can say?” Neighsay shrugged as his smirk became ever colder. “But it seems likely.”
“Ok, that’s it! Why do you have to be an asshole?! Like, do you have no friends of your own?! You want to destroy other ponies lives just because-” But Neighsay cuts you off as a portal opens up behind himself.
“Because the safety of our own kind is the most important thing in this world! I feel sorry for you, Anon. You have been kept from reaching your full potential, and led astray by dangerous ideals. This is the only way to truly see who is right. So then, what say you, Princess Celestia? Do you accept?” He asks, looking directly into her eyes with that cocky smirk.
Celestia, she was as still as a mountain, but the venom in her eyes. You could tell, she was pissed as all fuck. But she kept her temper, and answered with grace. “I acc-” But, no, fuck that!
“You can’t-” But she interrupts you right back.
“I can!” She says, with a soft yet startling shout towards you as her eyes darted towards Neighsay. “And I will.”
“Very well. I shall leave you two alone, as you seem to have much to discuss. But know this, I would not taint the little colt further if I were you. His anger, one would think he’s becoming like that of your sister, back in a day before I even existed.” He then bowed towards Celestia “Goodbye, Princess Celestia. I pray that a mistake has not been made, by either of us.” And with that, he disappeared into the portal. “Hmm, I wonder what ‘asshole’ means”
What… In… The… Fuck!
“How in the?! Dammit! Why did you do that?! Why?! You should know a full reformation isn’t guaranteed!” No, fuck this, once again she overplays her damn hand. You just got Gary Stu’d. But on a wager in which you couldn’t Gary Stu your way through!
Celestia only continued to look forward, her expression only slightly softening until she let out an unsure sigh. “I’m aware. But one must have faith in situations like these.”
“Faith?! Ugh!” You grabbed onto your head, sitting there, until you pointed at Celestia angrily, barking at her. “Fuck that! Look, fine, I’m just gonna say it! I don’t think she’s actually going to reform! She’s too stubborn! Even after everything, she just won’t do it! She just doesn’t care enough about ponies…” You start to break down, and slam your hoof onto the ground. “Dammit, I was so close! I just needed more time! Why?! Why did you make that bet with him?! That wasn’t your decision to make!”
Celestia began to calm herself. She looked down at you, and began to frown. Did she know she ruined everything? How badly she hurt you? “Anon, I had no choice. Not only for Twilight’s sake, but for yours as well. If I had let him have his way, then you’d have lost Chrysalis, and Twilight her school. He made that quite clear. You asked for my help, and I did the best I could do.”
“The best?! Dammit! You call that your best?! You’re the fucking Princess of motherfucking Equestria! How in the fuck does he have the power to overrule you?!” You screamed at her, growled, tears in your eyes as impending doom began to encroach on you.
“Anon! Calm down. I understand you’re upset, I understand the hurt. But you are being selfish at this point. He was not going to give you any kind of chance, Nopony really would given Chrysalis’s reputation. I have put my school, my little ponies, my reputation, and Twilight’s livelihood on the line for you. I have been incredibly patient with all of this. Know this, there is a chance the worst can happen, but we really must have faith. So please…” She gently puts her hoof down on your head, and begins to pet you softly. “No more tears. You must focus, and we must prepare.”
“Tell me why then. You want me to stop being selfish? After that? Tell me why then, why does he have that power over you? I won’t ask again.” You say, as you move away from her hoof and look at her with angry sorrowful eyes.
“As Equestria expanded, so did my own need to help gifted unicorns reach their full potential. I needed to create a council that could handle matters in ways I could not. Yes, in ways that would even supersede my own judgement and biases. Given I had made a mistake before that cost me my sister, all due to my hubris, I needed somepony who was dutiful and willing to protect the ponies I hold dear. Aside from his biases, Neighsay is excellent in all other facets of his duty as chancellor of the EEA, and he cares deeply about Equestria and the ponies who reside in it. At the time, that was enough, and his love for justice and ability to be fair yet stern were admirable traits as well. But times have changed, and he obviously feels threatened by it, he feels Equestria is at stake. That is why he does what he does.” Celestia explained.
“Yeah, I said similar things myself about him. Ugh…” You plopped to the ground, feeling defeated. “I-I don’t know, what do I even do?”
“As I said, you must have faith in your friend. You are only full of doubt because of how Neighsay acted. But before that, you were always sure Chrysalis’s reformation was at hand. There is no reason to doubt, as I feel Chrysalis has learned a lot more about friendship now than she ever has before.” Celestia said, trying her best to boost your spirits.
“The problem is she has to transform into something she hates to be considered reformed. Anything less and everything is doomed anyway. She’s really angry about what you did, Princess. Losing your kids isn’t something you just shrug off.” You said, still filled with doubt now that more hung on the line.
“But they are not gone, and I’m sure they would accept her if she gave up on her hatred. Anon, I will say this once more, you must have faith. Chrysalis truly cares about you, and so, you are the key to her reformation. You have our support, but everything falls upon you and her now. Is it worth having doubt when all your focus must be placed upon her reformation?” Celestia asked.
“... No, it isn’t worth it. I just… I dunno, Neighsay just really pisses me off.” She was right, you had to steel yourself, you had to believe in Chrysalis’s ability to understand friendship. “I still have no idea how you tolerate that guy.”
“To tell you the truth, Anon, I was this close in requesting you throw him in another dimension. At least until this was all over. But that would only anger him even further.” Celestia said as she sat back on her throne, suddenly breaking out into a sweat. “It took everything I had not to lose my composure. He was intentionally trying my patience that time.”
Oho! That sounded like a very familiar idea. “I mean, I’m not against it. I could throw him in another dimension forever. I did it to the Storm King, y’know.”
“Tempting but no. In any case, I think I’m going to nap for a bit. I still have an evening ahead of me, and this hole in my schedule will allow me just enough time to release my fury in the realm of dreams. I can only pray my sister isn’t bothered by it.” Celestia says as she slowly stands up, lets out a relaxed sigh, then looks to you. “My suggestion to you is to also find a way to relax. Free your mind of your doubts, and plan for the days ahead.”
“Yeah, I was planning on going to Aunt Fluttershy’s anyways. If I’m gonna find a place to relax, it is gonna be there, because Discord is being a real jerk lately and I don’t feel like dealing with it.” You say as you place your chargeless horn on your head. “Really wish I didn’t have to use water to get back to the house. It’s really annoying when there isn’t any around.”
“You may use the kitchen if you wish, take a snack if you desire. Anon, truly, I wish you well. Just as I want you to have faith, I want you to know I have faith in you.” Celestia tells you.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m still not happy about it. Oy, I’m just gonna have to hope Deus Ex Machina favors me this time.” You groan as you begin to walk off. “Have a good nap, Princess Celestia.”
“And you have a very good day, Anon.” Celestia says, as she makes off to her room.