What's my name, Discord?

by Bandit Blue


Fear, Vengeance and Deception in Ponyville

Since discord had become Fluttershy's mate, he had grown accustomed to using the front door to enter the house. He'd still teleport to leave all the time, but leaving and arriving had very different unspoken connotations. But Discord's biggest motivation was that despite pretending to look unphased, Fluttershy was many times scared by the sudden intrusions, easy to tell by the beating pace of her heart, which slowly started to worry Discord as she got older. Now, when coming home, he would teleport a few feet from the house and walk to the door.

That day, Discord entered his home after inhaling some air to sing "Honeeeey... I'm hooooome!", but before he could a visage made the air stuck in his throat. A creature as tall as he was, with a huge coating of tar black fur, black eyes with blue irises and a slender body. A black giant fox to put it simply. Fluttershy sat in front of it, clearly uncomfortable as the fox seemed delighted in brushing her pink mane, so much so that the fox only realized Discord's presence after the pony did.

"Welcome home, Discord." Fluttershy said with an usual smile as if despite her discomfort, nothing was really wrong. The fox gazed at Discord, she looked surprised at first but she quickly gave him the public dominion evil smirk, a grim that went from  ear to ear and squinting eyes.

"Discord, old friend! You look so different, I almost didn't recognize you after all these years! I love your new form though, it goes very well with your chaotic motif."

Discord looked annoyed. Discord was surprised, not threatened in the slightest. Ever confident in his power he barely had a reason to.

"You'll have to excuse me, miss. I do not seem to recall the one clearly evil creature holding my beloved hostage in front of me."

"Discord!" Gasped Fluttershy after hearing his remarks. The creature did indeed look out of the ordinary but it had been nothing but kind to her, despite the creature's clear disregard for personal space and boundaries. Fluttershy was happy to indulge the fox, seeing how easily glad she became.

The fox put the brush down on the table and smiled even further at discord, clearly exposing her teeth and canines.

"Oh, Discord. I never thought I would hear you of all creatures calling someone evil. Today has been so full of surprises, I love it. I can't believe you got such a delightful little pony as a wife, I could never hurt such a kind creature."

Discord crossed his arms and maintained his expression of mistrust as he watched the fox stroking his beloved mane.

"I never took you for liking cute things, If I knew we had that in common I would have found you so much sooner. I supposed opposites do attract each other after all." She held Fluttershy closer in a tight yet unharmful hug, rubbing her face on Fluttershy's mane. "What did you see in him, Darling? This certainly can't be real love. Is he holding your friends as hostages? Or maybe he poisoned you and is using the cure as leverage to keep you here?" Before Fluttershy could answer, the fox quickly glanced at Discord now addressing him. "Discord, that's low even for you. How could you take advantage of such an innocent creature?"

Discord became madder by the second, dark thoughts began to cloud his mind.

"Now now, it's okay, Discord. She doesn't know you're good now."

Fluttershy's gentle voice snapped him out of his state as he looked at her and saw her calmly smiling.

"Discord? Good? He's the Lord of Chaos, Darling. Surely you can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am. He's been reformed for a while now, and I admit, he stumbled a few times along the way but he always had a good heart, all he needed was for somepony to believe in that. I assure you, once you get to know him it's hard not to love him." Fluttershy blushed as she spoke and looked at Discord, who looked back at her with a gentle smile and almost tearful eyes. The fox was appalled and quickly moved her eyes to gaze between the two apparent lovers. Fluttershy quickly continued her speech. "Not everyone gets it but he's really funny and makes me laugh all the time, he is so very kind not only to me but to others as well, despite always trying not to show it. I love talking with him, he's always interested in whatever I have to say and he is always talking about something interesting, he's quite smart and knowledgeable too, despite hiding that fact whenever he's not serious. No pony is perfect but... I wouldn't change a thing about him and I certainly can't imagine a life without him."

Discord's eye's were in the brink of becoming a teary waterfall and he heard Fluttershy speech, his ears flopped down, his smile as big as it could be and both his hands held together in front of it.

"Oh, my dear Fluttershy. After all these years you can still melt my old ice heart with ease. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I... you.. I..." The fox stumbled for words as Discord grinned from ear to ear, after seeing her surprised expression, whomever she was she just got Flutter-served.

"Fluttershy, I knew women can control men very easily but you lassoed chaos itself. You absolutely must teach me your ways! So far I could only seduce males with magic, which seem to make them twice as dumb as they already are, it always ends up in my disappointment. Will you take me as your student?"

Now it was Discord who was appalled once again. Was that an offense to him or a praise to Fluttershy, he wondered bewildered. 

"Oh, it's nothing like that, I don't control him or anything and I don't think I do anything different that I could teach you but if you want I can... wait, did you say you seduced males with magic?"

"I did, many times. It's easy, I can teach you if you want."

"Alright, that's enough of whatever this is, whomever you claim to be. You tortured poor Fluttershy enough, time to go. If you have a beef with me that's fine but I cannot express the world of pain that will befall you should you involve her in such a thing."

"Discord! I told you it's okay, Serene is not evil, she didn't hurt me and I don't think she would. I'm sure you two can work out any issues you had before."

"Serene? Fluttershy, she just said she uses magic to seduce creatures!"

"Well... Everyone makes mistakes, you made that mistake before, maybe you could show her why it's wrong."

"What?! I’ve never seduced anyone!" 

"You..! Uh... I meant... I was talking about using magic on other creatures' part." Fluttershy blushed and averted his gaze from Discord, who also blushed heavily after her remark. Both stayed silent, the fox now identified was Serene was the one to break the silence. She had a saddened or apathetic expression now, she returned to stroking Fluttershy's mane very slowly and delicately, she seemed to truly be taking solace in that act as she looked down to avoid any eye contact.

"I'm afraid it's he's right, Fluttershy. I don't take pride in it but... I cannot deny it. Saying I'm evil is not a lie. I wasn't always though, I used to be a very good creature. I was arrogant, selfish and a fool, but like you said about Discord, I had a good heart. I wasn't afraid to show it though, and many believed in me, many trusted me with their lives."

Fluttershy hadn't moved an inch since Serene started talking, she was surprised but was unable to decide whether or not she was in danger. Her thoughts were suspended by a drop of water that touched her cheek, lightly startling her, and then her eye caught the sign of another drop, and another, and another, and Serene had stopped stroking her mane and now used her paws to lightly hug her. Fluttershy tried to look at her, she could get a full view of her face but she saw enough to confirm the legitimacy of her tears. 

"I failed them all, Fluttershy. It hurt so much. It hurt that I failed them, that I loved them, that I missed them. After all that pain I started to become numb to it, I only had hatred and a goal in me. I thought I couldn't be hurt again, but after all this time, I found the one who put me in this path in the first place, living happily in such a beautiful world. I thought he was obviously messing with me, trying to make me angry in some effort to further mock me, but I didn't let it happen. But he truly doesn't even remember who I am, he was able to hurt me again. He's staring silently at me but I can hear his laughter as clear as day."

Silence overtook the room once more, Fluttershy felt bad for Serene but she was openly declaring her hatred for Discord, who in turn readied his finger for a snap. Serene let go of Fluttershy to use the back of paws to take off the tears in her eyes and tried to smile.

"Don't worry, sweet Fluttershy, I would never hurt you for something he did. I've caused enough pain to others in his name and it was all in vain. Neither I nor him can change the past I'm afraid. I'm sorry Fluttershy but he must atone for those actions as much I do. I... don't know how though. If I hurt him, I'll hurt you and..."

Serene expression suddenly changed as she looked at Discord's angry face. Her evil grimace was visible to Discord once more. Discord felt fear, he was intimidated by the fox successfully and it made him angrier than he had been in thousands of years.

"That's it! Begone, I'll deal with you soon enough, whatever your name was." Discord snapped his fingers and nothing happened. Fluttershy was about to intervene but was caught off guard by that. Discord snapped his fingers again and nothing happened. He didn't need to snap fingers to use his magic, but he found that at that moment, he couldn't use his magic at all. He looked at Serene and was about to question her, in his usual arrogant manner, how she was preventing his magic, but instead was frozen with fear as Fluttershy looked at him with confusion as she still stood within the grasp of the fox.

"Say, Fluttershy. You knew Discord was the Lord of Chaos all along right? You know about his immortality right?"

"Uh.. Well... Nopony ever said anything out loud but I guess we all assumed as much after all that we've been through. Why do you ask? You're not planning on hurting him are you? I know that you think you're evil but no evil creature would-"

"And unlike him you're mortal right? I mean, don't get me wrong, you're beautiful as they come but I can tell when a creature has been around for a while."

"Well... I suppose I am but... but I don't mind it at all, It's just how nature is."

Discord somehow could tell she wouldn't hurt Fluttershy, but still his fear wouldn't go away. He could only think in one course of action.

"Look, you win. I yield, I'll do whatever you say just leave her alone." The fox looked at him but ignored his words.

"But what about us, Fluttershy? Although I'm certain me and Discord can be killed somehow, it wouldn't be an easy task and I think it would hardly involve nature at all."

Fluttershy never saw Discord like that, she wasn't at all afraid of Serene at this point, but even though she felt bad for her, Fluttershy wasn't happy to see her mate psychologically tortured like that, even if he was guilty. Fluttershy could see him getting more scared with each passing second, she'd never seen Discord so nervous, breathing so fast.

"Discord is naturally immortal, if you're like him and I guess you are as well. It's part of your nature being immortal as it is mine to...uh... pass away at some point." 

She smiled at Discord, happy with her response, she was trying to comfort him somehow. He didn't get it, he thought Fluttershy was about to do something reckless.

"Serene! Right?! You've made your point, you won, I'm begging you, I promise I'll do anything you tell me to for as long as you want, just leave Fluttershy out of it, it's me you want right?"

"I'm not enjoying this as much as I thought I would, Fluttershy. It feels somewhat pointless and I imagine you're not into seeing him like this so I'm feeling a little guilty. I take that this must be one of the few times in his life he ever felt helpless. How does it feel, Discord?"

"Not great, but you're wrong, I felt helpless plenty of times, and even though disappointing those I love hurts way more than this, this certainly gets the blue medal for fear."

"What are you afraid of exactly, Discord. Can you be more clear?"

"It!... Wasn't I... I.. I'm afraid you'll hurt Fluttershy."

Fluttershy simply got up and slowly went towards Discord, hugging him tightly. Discord responded to the hug without restraints, he was probably never so glad to hold her in her arms. She made him much calmer, he looked at the fox who still had a grim on her face, albeit less evil. The fox didn't even try to stop Fluttershy at all, she just stood there and let her, but the situation had hardly changed, if anything they were both hostages of hers.

"Did you ever wonder how he's gonna feel or what he's gonna do once you're gone, Fluttershy?" Serene asked with a saddened expression, which caught Fluttershy by surprise, she was ready to give an angry retort and was not expecting to be met by said look. The fox was toying with them, with Discord more specifically but Fluttershy couldn't help but empathize with a creature that was clearly hurt. This creature wasn't at all like Sombra, Chrysalis or Tyrek, if anything she was more like... Discord. Upon such realization she felt even more empathy towards her. She finally gave the fox an answer.

"It always crosses my mind one time or another... but I always try to ignore those thoughts, I guess I really didn't want to face that."

Fluttershy looked at Discord with teary eyes and a forced smile. "Fluttershy...?" Discord asked her in confusion.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Fluttershy's smile quickly turned into a frown as tears escaped her eyes with increasing intensity as the time passed.

"Fluttershy, that's... You don't even have to worry about that, please."

"Are you gonna be okay?" She insisted, now trying not to sob. 

"Fluttershy, please. That's such a long time from now it's not even-" Discord couldn't help but start crying as well, he tried hard not to, he didn't want Fluttershy to see him like that.

"You know...it's...not that far...Rarity already-" Fluttershy sobbed between words until she couldn't talk anymore, crying unhinged now.

Something awoke in Discord upon seeing her like this. Suddenly he mustered the courage not only to look at her, but he stared at her with a gentle smile for a few seconds. Fluttershy visibly calmed down because of it. Discord used his big paw to wipe a tear off her face.

"You'll always be in my heart, Fluttershy. If you die... and If you die before me, whenever that may be, it'll be the worst day of my life guaranteed... But you'll never leave my heart, so I'll never go back to my old ways if that's what you're concerned about, somehow you'll always be alive to judge me or guilt me into doing whatever you think it's best because you know I can't ever disappoint you again. So no, I'm not gonna be okay because Fluttershy will always be there to stop me from having fun, happy now, you old mare?"

Discord crossed his arms and looked away, blushing. Fluttershy couldn't help it and started to giggle and soon enough it turned to a full laughter, she snorted and even cried a bit, only stopped after the need for air became too great and even then she had a little trouble stopping. Discord looked away trying to hide a smile.

"Oh Discord..." Fluttershy cleaned the tears out of her eyes. "I think I need you more than you need me these days. Sorry for having to first but I'm sure you'll be alright. You're right, I'll never leave you and I'll make sure you'll always have a friend by your side, even if that friend is very mad at you right now." Fluttershy pointed her hoof to Serene, making Discord see the slightly surprised fox with tear trails on her face, he knew what Fluttershy wanted him to do. He approached the table where the fox was sitting and sat on the other side. He groaned loudly before letting out a sigh and looking straight at her.

"Look, I clearly did many terrible things but it's like you said, I can't change the past. I don't remember how I hurt you specifically but for you to do this... I'm sure it was something bad...very bad. I... I'm sorry, I really am. I'm trying to atone for my past by helping whomever I can whenever I can, even though that atonement will probably never come it's the only thing I can do. If there's any way I can make it up it to you or the ones I've hurt, I'll do it, if still not enough and you want to punish me somehow, that's fine too as long as you don't hurt the ones I care about, and you don't have to forgive me ever, I probably don't deserve it and you probably can't... There's no easy way out and... who knows how many like you are out there. I... I... just... "

Fluttershy was flabbergasted by Discord's speech, she was expecting him to just apologize. Serene listened to his words and took a while before answering.

"That's so disappointing..."

"What?" Discord quickly retorted with shock.

"I want you to be the villainous maniac that ruined my life, not this... remorseful sack of meat that's trying to atone and have a family."

"Was all that... You were just trying to make me evil again? What did you expect-"

"Do you have any idea how much time I spent training my magic, looking for you? I expected to have a huge clash, I was actually so afraid of you that I was planning to use your wife as a shield! And after meeting her I was afraid you'll just kill her without any remorse like the maniac you were. I was expecting the Lord of Chaos to really care about his pony wife? Do you hear how stupid that sounds? And yet true, which I'm still not sure it was for the best or not. In the end you couldn't even use magic in my presence."

"Wait... you didn't use a spell to stop me? A hex? Some magical item? Some kind of Poison? Any type of-"

As Discord kept trying to make sense of the ironically chaotic fox, she rolled her eyes and then focused for a few short seconds, closing her eyes and lifting her head a little. She was engulfed by a blue aura for a quick moment as her one tail became 17. 

"Oh..." Discord said upon realizing something. Fluttershy let out a very loud gasp upon seeing the myriad of tails that took pretty much all of the space around the fox, the world had lost its meaning as Fluttershy approached the tails with sparkling eyes like those of a young filly that just got her cutie mark. 

"Yeah. One every half millennia, give or take."

"What do you really want from me?" Asked Discord, in such a serious tone he found his own voice strange.

"I want... I want... I want to hate you... I want to hate you so I can use all my power to destroy you and finally be free of... this hatred I have for someone you stopped being so long ago."

"Well... If that's what you want... I promised I'd do it. I just ask that you don't let Fluttershy see it."

"Oh, Discord..." Fluttershy said while sitting besides the fox, trying to comfort her. "She's not going to hurt us. Can't you see what she's trying to say?" Discord just looked confused.

"Even if you were him and I destroyed you... I wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make me feel any different. I don't blame you for not understanding, I've just realized it myself. The truth is... It's been so long since I stopped hating you I can barely remember how it felt. I just kept pushing on and on and on to not think about it. I've been using you as an excuse but in reality it's me. I hate myself and I wanted to pretend I was going to stop once I dealt with you."

"I... I hate myself too." Fluttershy's ears perked up and her eyes widened upon hearing discord say that. "I heard everypony say it was obvious and these things I've done... I tried to not hate myself through very dumb decisions. I'm probably in no place to say this but I understand how you feel and I forgive you for whatever you tried to do. Fluttershy probably already did and if I didn't know better... You've probably just got reformed by Fluttershy, welcome to the club."

"I don't feel any different, unfortunately. But... I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I didn't have nice intentions at first but... You we're so adorable I wanted to take you for myself long before Discord arrived. I don't remember the last time I talked with someone like I talked with you, the taste of tea... It was delicious and I had a blast brushing your lovely mane. I'm sorry I've made you cry like that, Can you forgive this old hag?" Serene, being a fox after all, made the best puppy eyes she could towards Fluttershy, unfortunately her dark eyes made it a little more scary than cute.

"Oh, you're not an old hag, if anything I'm the one that's old, you don't look a day over... hum... 5 fox years. And It's okay, I forgive you and... hum... If I can forgive Discord someday... I think you two could be very good friends... and it would make me very happy to know he's not alone..."

"Fluttershy! Now you're just embarrassing me on purpose! I have... other friends you know?"

"About that." The fox lifted up her paw and a blue flame engulfed her for a brief moment, leaving some sort of flask in her grasp. She placed it on the table, it clearly had a liquid inside it. "The whole point of that was this. This is the most coveted substance in all the worlds I've been. This elixir, will make any mortal, immortal just as I or Discord. But it also makes any immortal, like I or Discord, as mortal as you, dear Fluttershy. I'm giving it to you."

"Oh... Oh my... I can't accept such a gift, Serene. It's-"

"It's already been given, Darling. You can throw it on the trash for all I care. But... should you want to be around for longer with your husband or maybe find a better one, all you have to do is drink it. Even your youth would come back in a few days."

"Oh my... I don't-"

"Or... As I'm sure Discord will attest that being immortal is sometimes more of a curse than blessing, I understand if you don't wanna see for yourself. In that case Discord could drink the elixir and... you two could meet each other in the afterlife without much delay, no matter who goes first."

Fluttershy and Discord stared at the grimacing fox with wide eyes and open mouths, left in shock by her casual suggestion.