#277

by Unwhole Hole


Chapter 11: Librarian

Day. Night. Day. Night. The passage of time. As clocks turned, Celestia could feel that the table did not notice. Not quite. But thinking about that made her nauseous and dizzy—something that was growing worse over time as it became easier to see, and as seeing it made her sicker and sicker.

It was day, she was sure of that. She had to squint against the light of the fluorescent sun and its excessively, overly pseudo-pleasant glow. Even though being in the sunlight had started to physically hurt her, she still went outside. To walk the castle grounds and to see Ponyville at a distance. She shivered when she saw it, though, and was glad it was far away. She was still not sure if the doors led anywhere, or if the model actually had that level of detail. The fear of opening a door and finding nothing had not abated, even if she knew that none of this was actually real.

Despite this slowly spreading fear, she braved the sunlight.

Out on the edge of the property, she found Virginia, now dressed in a different outfit that was still as white and nearly flow as the other—although this one seemed more fitted and slightly more appropriate for outdoor work. She was also holding a broom and poking at a rock.

Celestia approached her. Virginia was the primary reason she had come outside anyway instead of just sleeping for a couple more weeks.

Celestia stopped. “Looking for something? Or has that poor rock done something you especially don't like?”

“EEP!” cried Virginia, nearly toppling over as she jumped in surprise. She swirled around and brandished the broom at Celestia. “Princess! How are you—how can you be that quiet?!”

Celestia tilted her head. “Are you implying I’m large to such a degree that I rumble?”

Virginia scrunched. “No? Ugh. I guess I’m just not paying attention. There’s a lot going on right now.”

“A lot of...sweeping? Or rock-poking?”

“Well, yes, that, but other things. I’m shoring up our defensive network. And cleaning up everything that filthy technomancer left behind. See? Watch.” Virginia turned the broom around and poked a rock, flipping it over. From beneath it, what seemed like hundreds of tiny Silver Spoons sprinted out into the grass, squeaking wildly. Celestia recoiled in horror, and Virginia raised the broom and brought it down on them repeatedly, reducing them to tiny plumes of glitter.

“She? She got code everywhere!”

“They’re—tiny—her?!”

“What?” Virginia looked down. “Oh, no! They’re not actually that. It’s just how the simulation renders it. Sometimes it has to form metaphorical representations of things that are more...confusing. It has an AI for that. I built it myself, I should know. No, they’re just code.”

“And there’s a lot of them?” Celestia's eyes widened."Are they...in my room at night?"

“It’s hard to know,” sighed Virginia. “Technomancy is a very complicated discipline, if you can even call it that. There are a lot of approaches. She was probably in here for months, worming her way in. She’s one of the patient ones. They’re the worst. Most of them are stupid, arrogant butts.”

“Like Trixie?”

“Trixie is a butt, but she’s our butt. Trixie’s okay.” Virginia sighed. “At least it’s not Pinkie Pies. Aberrant Pinkies are the worst. You never want to get Pinkies on your server, they get everywhere. Then you need to get out the tongs...”

Celestia paused, thinking. “When I first saw her...she stopped and talked to me.”

“Who, Pinkie?”

“No. The mage, Lucience.”

Virginia’s expression darkened. “Most likely she was still getting in position for her final strike. Just because she was close to you here doesn't mean she was proximal to the real you yet. You could see each other but she couldn’t get through the primary defenses surrounding you at that particular time.” Virginia stopped sweeping. “We got lucky. Really luck. I didn’t see it, if Luna hadn’t...”

“It isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. We got through it, didn't we?”

“It’s not as far in the past as you would think. Hence why I’m fixing the defensive protocols. But even those won’t hold for long if we come under direct attack. I think I might have to close off the connection entirely, but I don’t know if we can afford to with your state...”

“Don’t endanger yourself for my sake.” Celestia was firm on this assertion. Such a thing was a thought she could not bear.

Virginia looked up. “I think it’s a little too late for that. We’ve all made our choices. We’re committed now.”

Celestia nodded slowly. “I have to know, is this one of those things where if you...you know...die...in the simulation, you do in real life too? Like in dreams?

Virginia blinked. “That doesn't actually happen in dreams, and...well...sort of. As ponies, we can get very, very badly injured in here. And, yes, a powerful techomancer can kill us. That’s definitely true. But you don’t need to be afraid, I’ve set up everything to the letter, by every standard procedure and in accordance to the most detailed possible checklist!”

“And Trixie?”

Virginia frowned. “Well, no. She’s basically immortal in here. Her brain is structured much differently than ours, it’s faster in some ways and much more sturdy. At least in terms of mathematical speed and physical resilience. Even though it’s gross and squishy.”

Celestia shivered. “And I would rather not have known that.”

“Sorry.” Virginia picked up her broom again. “Was there anything you needed? Trixie and Yel are tracking you right now, and you look as good as we expect. Are you in pain or having memory issues?”

“No. I just wanted to talk.”

“Why? About what?”

“Well...it occurred to me. I know Twilight very well. The Twilight from the simulation, of course. Better than I know any pony at all, in fact, save for my own sister. But you’re not...well, hopefully this is not insulting, but...”

“I’m not Twilight. I’m just a Twilight.”

“Well...yes. And it occurred to me I know next to nothing about you, as an individual pony. And I apologize for that.”

“Apologize? Why?”

“Because I haven’t been a good Princess if I don’t even know a thing about the ponies risking so much to help me. You’re a unique person, and I just dismissed you as somepony entirely different...it’s a little embarrassing.”

“Admittedly, I was trying to trick you, to an extent. I even ran a Twilight AI cover to make it extra realistic.”

“It didn’t work so well.”

Virginia’s broom flashed and vanished in a puff of magic. “I know. We don't have much record on what the original Twilight Sparkle was actually like. So what did you want to know? I can’t tell you everything. You know that. Too much can hurt you.”

“I know. But...what you can would be very helpful. It's just conversation after all. I'm a bit lonely in the castle and, well, I do like making friends, don't I?”

Virginia smiled. “Well, where to start. My name is Virginia Woolf Twilight Sparkle, I’m nineteen years old, I’m a Virgo if you believe that astrology hocus-pocus. I really, really like books.”

“The book part I think I already knew...but your name. That’s a very peculiar one.”

“Virginia Woolf was a famous author about fifteen hundred years ago.”

“So you’re named after an author. How..." She paused, considering that, and realized it was exactly what she expected. "...appropriate.”

“All Librarians are named after authors.”

“So you’re a librarian, then?”

“No. Librarian, with a big ‘L’. I’m actually reading our conversation in transcript-form right now, so I can tell when you spell words wrong.”

“Of course you are.”

“That’s probably a good place to start, isn’t it?”

“As good as any.”

“Oh. It’s basically a cult.”

Celestia said nothing. She only stared at Virginia, not sure if she was joking.

“Are you...joking?”

Virginia laughed. “Only slightly. The Librarians are an ancient order dedicated to locating, protecting, and safeguarding books in all possible forms. That’s what I used to do when I was younger.”

“How much younger? You're only nineteen.” Celestia paused, realizing that she was not at all sure if that was the real Twilight's age either. Suddenly, she felt very old indeed.

“Probably age two through fifteen?” Virginia shrugged. She materialized some planks and a hammer and started building a white picket fence. “It actually isn’t that bad. Our job was to travel the world, hunting down rare books for conservation purposes. To generate a giant database of all remnants of existing literature. My own specialty was post-Revolution works concerning the Adorable Revolution and the Reconstruction period immediately after it. There’s surprisingly few surviving accounts, especially from the Hasbro perspective. Lots of opinion pieces on how ponies are ‘the work of the devil’ and all that, but almost nothing concrete. Plus, that was when the first pony literature emerged..” Virginia turned around, holding the planks in her magic. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“Why? Are you reading my mind?”

“Not presently, no. But it wasn’t bad. I loved my family. We were all Twilight’s, of course. There were hundreds of us in my cell alone. My mother was a Twilight, my sisters were Twilight, my grandmother was a Twilight. They say we go all the way back to Lilly Twilight Sparkle, but that’s just a legend, as she never had children before her death.”

Celestia scrunched slightly. “Then what question was I about to ask you?”

“Why I left, of course.”

“You...left?”

Virginia blinked. “Well, yeah. The Librarians definitely wouldn’t fund me building an ornate simulation like this, and I’m not exactly helping you for the literary value of anything in particular here.” Virginia paused, and then sighed. “The Librarians are...selective. Almost no one new is allowed in, and nobody ever leaves. Except...”

“For you?”

“For me. And others. I read an account of one who not only joined, but also got kicked out. That NEVER happens. That must have been five hundred years ago...but it got me thinking. About what else was out there in the world, you know?”

“I wonder the same thing myself.”

“Do you?” Virginia’s eyes brightened. “Of course you do! You must be so curious, and I’m really sad I can’t tell you more, but I’m already bending the rules a little bit...”

“It’s okay. Patience is a very important thing, after all. Go on, please, I'm enjoying your story so much.”

Virginia shrugged. “There’s not much to say. I wanted to do more. I have a massive database of things I’ve learned. A wealth of technical documents about the Revolution and Hasbro, documentation on literally thousands of programming languages throughout history, a nearly complete set of fragments of the research notes of Josephine von Kreigstein, tons and tons of philosophy and fiction and history...I figured I could do something great. So I left my family and joined the military.”

“The military?” Celestia stared at the white-clad pony before her. “I mean, your hot brother, I understand...but little Twilight?”

“Virginia Twilight,” corrected Twilight. “And although Shining Armor is hot, it's really weird to hear you say that. And I was not on front lines. I’m in the Psychotronics Branch. They’re the ones funding this project right now. I’m actually a major, but sort of not really because you get that rank when you join with a really high degree of education.” She paused, and then frowned, stroking her chin. “Actually, come to think of it, I wonder if Trixie has a rank...would she be a private? If I had two of her, would they be my privates?” Virginia laughed. “Joking, of course, Trixie is property, she doesn’t have a rank.”

“What rank is Yelizaveta, then?”

Twilight blushed slightly, and her wings ruffled. Celestia smiled.

“She’s technically a subcontractor, I brought her with me. She’s been with me for...a long time. It’s actually a really cool story. I must have been, what, seven? I was crossing the ruins of what used to be Japan, moving up to the megacity of Greater Kamchatka. Yelizaveta was at the time coming from across American Siberia. I had just recovered a copy of her religion’s Holy Book...”

“Holey Book?”

“No. Just ‘y’, not ‘ey’. It normally lacks holes. Holes are a sign of bookworms, which are even worse than Pinkie Pies! No, her religion. That necklace she wears. It’s an ancient artifact from a dead religion. Well, mostly dead, unfortunately, there’s still a lot of them but...well...it’s complicated. Needless to say, possessing their Holy Book is considered a capital war-crime. I get a technical exemption as a Librarian, but it’s still super-rare, there’s only three copies known to exist and the Librarians only have two, the Satanists have the other...but it was incredibly valuable.” Virginia sighed nostalgically. “She came after it, and so did everyone else. There were spies, intrigue, adventure, a car chase, double-crosses, international politics—I even jumped off a building. And Yelizaveta there by my side the whole time...” Virginia sighed again, smiling. “That was an adventure alright...”

“Did you get the book?”

Virginia started, pulled out of her daydreaming. “What?”

“The book.”

“Oh no, that was destroyed, unfortunately. But not before I memorized the contents. I wrote them down and gave them to her as a reprint, which is super-duper double or even triple illegal but worth the smile on her face. She still has it. The contents are bizarre. Apparently they worship a being who was nailed to a wooden cross, died, and came back to life.”

Celestia winced. “That’s...strange.”

“No kidding.”

“But...” Celestia smiled. “You and Yelizaveta, though?”

Virginia’s wings bristled. “What about it? We work together.”

“Really?” Celestia poked Virginia’s shoulder slyly. “Are you sure about that?”

Twilight’s wings foomfed and she blushed severely. “I wouldn’t—I couldn’t—that would be totally inappropriate, it’s against regulations, and she’s so much older—”

“Twilight, your wings. They have foomfed.”

“I AM VIRGINIA AND THEY ARE NOT FLUFFY AND TICKLISH!”

“Virginia, I’m not judging you. I’m happy for you. That’s all.”

Virginia looked up, wide-eyed. “Really?”

Celestia nodded.

Virginia let out a long sigh of relief. “I know, right? I’m a Librarian, so I was always supposed to be with another Twilight, but I had no idea there were Twilights like HER! She’s just so big and strong and confident and competent at everything, but at the same time so dark and mysterious and guarded...and that sexy, sexy accent! I just want her to throw me down on the floor and...and…”

Celestia was suppressing a giggle.

“Ahem." Virginia regained her composure. "And snuggle me on a metaphysical level, of course. I don’t know, I just feel...nice, when I’m with her. Like I’m safe. I spent most of my life alone so it’s...different.”

Celestia hugged Virginia. “Well, I wish you two the best of luck.”

“Thank you, Celestia.” Twilight hugged her back. “That means a lot.”

Celestia, pleased with herself, released the pony that looked just like her favorite student but had lived such a different life. Virginia smiled as well, going back to her fence and kicking over the rock she had been inspecting earlier. As she did, she cried out in surprise, discovering Trixie’s face beneath it, staring back up at her.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA’S BUTT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“Validating your defensive network. Trixie has been tunneling. Are you going to stop babbling about your weird narcissism or are you going to get to work?”

“You know, I technically own you...”

“Trixie is a genetically perfect soupersolider, not a lawyer, your fancy legalese has no effect!” Trixie turned her face toward Celestia. “Hi Celestia! I am Trixie!”

“Hello Trixie. Having fun down there?”

Trixie smiled. “Being Trixie is the greatest and most difficult feat in all of the world, how could Trixie ever not be having fun being Trixie?” She pulled her way out of the hole, shaking off the dirt. “I reset the primary reactor core and regaussed the hull. The whole thing is outmoded by about ten centuries, but it’ll hold at low-signature. “Also. You and Yelizaveta.”

“What about it?”

“In the sim of Twilight’s Castle? Super kinky.”

Virginia blushed. “I—no—we didn’t—”

“Lots of things leave holes,” said Trixie—saying it as she faced Celestia, grinning. This disturbed Celestia somewhat.

She realized that she had been watched—and resolved to be far more careful next time.