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// Chapter 48: Headpats and Spots 
// Story: Marshmallow Dreams 
// by Halira 
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There was no need for me to accompany Wild Growth and the foals. Sure, it might have been an opportunity to get to know Drizzle better, but I wasn't in the right mindset for it, and I didn't want to have to answer questions about why her mommy was so upset. 

Instead, I headed back to campus. It was still a little too early for dinner and far too early to catch up with Maggie. I thought of going to my room but decided that I wanted to avoid running into my roommates when not feeling as perky. It was rare that my mood got down, but knowing that I couldn't fix the problems between Lântiān and me and that she was so deeply hurt, sucked all my enthusiasm out of me. 

I landed in the central area of campus on a bench, looking out at the reflection pool. Some students were walking around but not close to me, and the terror birds were all out in the center of the water instead of on its edge. It was a quiet, peaceful place that I could gather myself together, calm down, and try to refresh my smile. 

I laid on the bench and just watched the geese for a few minutes before remembering I still had to call my parents. I couldn't think of any good reason to put it off, and if I put it off, there was a chance I would forget to call them today. I knew they would worry if they hadn't heard how my first day of classes went, especially since I hadn't called them last night to let them know I was doing okay. 

It didn't take long to find my mom's number on my phone since it was the first one on my contacts. I set it to dial and laid on the bench as I listened to the ringing coming from my leg. 

The line was picked up. "Rebecca? Is that you?"

I forced a smile. Mom couldn't see me, but people could tell if a person was smiling or not by their voice. "Yep, it's me. I hope you haven't forgotten what I looked like after how long I've been gone."

"Oh, I don't think so. Let me see, you have black fur and a bright red mane, right?" Mom playfully asked. 

"Hmm, close—I dyed it rainbow on rainbow. It will help if you bail me out of jail. I have been convicted of assault with intent to blind," I giggled. 

"Well, if it were something minor, like murder, I might have been willing to come to bail you out, but with a dye job like that, I can't help you. I have to draw a line somewhere."

We both started giggling. My mom finished first before continuing the conversation. "Assuming you aren't really in jail, and you are done with classes for today, how did your first day go?"

My smile dropped. "It went fine."

"Rebecca, what's wrong? Are you having trouble with your classes or not getting along with your roommates?" Darn it; I knew she would be able to tell the second I stopped smiling. 

I shook my head. "Classes are fine. The first day was a little boring. There's one class that I'm not sure I can deal with the professor because his mind doesn't seem to be all there, but I'll give it another day to decide if I need to switch it out. I get along great with all my roommates."

"So what's bothering you then?" she asked in an even more deeply concerned voice. 

I considered how to explain it and decided that there were many side things I wouldn't be able to say on the phone in public. "Do you mind if I have Miss Seapony help me dreamwalk to you tonight? I want to tell you all the details, but I need to make sure it's completely private."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, that is fine. Do you mind if your father is included in? We did a test run of it the other night, with Arbiter's help, and he should have no problems."

I blinked. I had almost forgotten the entire reason he had been granted magic was to be able to be contacted in the dream realm. "Yeah, of course he can. I'll try not to take too long. I know that you non-dreamwalkers don't get any regular rest when being visited in a dream."

"We're both on vacation, so if we get a little less regular rest, it won't be the end of the world."

"I guess we can talk more then." I remembered that I now knew what my human form looked like and smiled. "I also have a surprise I wanted to show you that works best in the dream realm."

"I'm not going to be very surprised if you tell me there is a surprise coming," Mom replied with a snicker. 

"Um, I think you will be anyway," I said smugly. "I'll see ya tonight. I love you."

"Love you too, baby. Take care of yourself."

The line clicked, indicating the end of the call, and I went back to watching the water. Looking at the water reminded me about my impromptu dive into it yesterday, which in turn made me think of Drizzle, which made me think of Lântiān, which undid the positive progress towards improving my mood that talking to my mom had provided. I was back at square one. 

"You shouldn't be this upset. It isn't your fault," I told myself. 

"Not directly. I'm still the thing that makes her react so badly," I countered myself. 

"And she's already told you that she is misdirecting, and she also has apologized for it more than once," I countered back. 

"That doesn't seem to be helping, and whether it should be my fault or not, I'm still making her deeply upset. I want to spread joy and happiness, not make people cry.

"You can't please everybody.

"I can try!" 

"Are you okay?" a voice that wasn't mine interrupted. 

I looked up and saw Russell, wearing a backpack with a notebook computer in hand, giving me a baffled look. I also realized I had gotten turned around from the direction I was sitting in somehow. It confused me, but I wasn't going to worry about it. Instead, I gave Russell a big grin. "I'm good. Why do you ask?"

"You were hopping around and talking to yourself. It was like you were doing the whole Gollum-Smeagol thing," he explained, bemused. 

Oh, that would explain how I got turned around. "Just a lively self-debate."

He blinked and tilted his head. "Do you do that often?"

I sighed and shook my head. "No. I'm sorry. I'm struggling with something at the moment."

He stepped close to where I was lying, and I shuffled over to give him space to sit. He pulled his backpack off and set it down beside the bench before taking a seat. 

"So, what's up?" Russell asked. "I've only gotten to talk to you a few times, but you seem to bounce back immediately whenever something goes wrong. It must be something serious if it has you feeling down in the dumps now."

I considered what I could say and couldn't say. I didn't want to blow him off. That would be rude. I couldn't really discuss everything that went on with Miss Seapony either. 

"It's complicated," I replied. 

He nodded. "I figured it would be if it has you upset. I've got nothing but time right now."

I frowned as I tried to decide how to frame things. "There's this other mare. I just recently met her, but I've known her mom for a very long time—almost as long as I can remember. I want to be friends with this mare, but she's convinced that her mom loves me more than her."

"Not to be mean to her, but that sounds like her problem," Russell responded. "Does her mom love you more?"

I shook my head. "No, she says she loves me like one of her foals, but if it came down to it, her foals come first."

Russell nodded. "It's definitely this mare's problem then. Maybe she needs to get some counseling with her and her mom."

I tried to picture how a psychologist would handle a Dreamwarden's family issues and failed. "It just upsets me that she's hurting so much emotionally and that I'm tied to that hurt. I can deal with people not liking me. I can deal with people thinking I'm a joke and making fun of me. What I can't deal with is someone breaking down in tears because of me. I don't want to hurt anyone. I know I didn't personally do anything to cause this, but I'm part of this scar in her relationship with her mom. I want to make it right."

"That's the sign of a big heart, but you can't hold yourself responsible for other people's dysfunctions," he insisted. "Do you have to see her all the time?"

I blushed. "I kinda signed up to foalsit her kid—she needed a reliable foalsitter, or she'd get kicked off the flight team! I thought, maybe if I helped her out, she would come around, ya know?"

"And she agreed to let you?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she did. I think she is being practical. Her having a sitter for her daughter is critical, and she knows in her head that I'm not to blame for what happened between her and her mom. She just hasn't been able to convince her heart of that."

"So what are you going to do if she breaks down crying because her kid praised you, and now she thinks you are trying to steal her daughter's affection?" 

My eyes went wide. I hadn't even considered that as a possibility! Had I just made a big mistake?

I groaned and started slamming my head against the closest thing available, Russell's leg. I got a good four or five slams in before he laid his hand on my head, and I froze. 

"I know my leg isn't as hard as a wall or the ground, but you shouldn't be so physically hard on yourself," he said in an amused tone. "Can I rub your ears?"

I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Because whenever my mom is stressed out, either my old man or I will rub her ears, and it helps her calm down. I figured it might help you relax. You aren't thinking any clearer if you're worked up."

I flicked an ear and then cautiously laid my head down on his leg. "You can rub my ears—gently."

He started rubbing, and I had to admit, it did feel good, and the rest of my body relaxed as I let my mind drift. I caught sight of the underside of his arm as he was rubbing and blinked. 

"You've got white spots," I observed. 

He paused in his rubbing for a few seconds, and I wondered if I had said something wrong. He then resumed rubbing. "Yes," he replied. "It's called vitiligo. It means my skin loses pigmentation. I have spots like that all over my body, but most of them I can hide."

"Why?" I asked as he continued to rub. 

"It's just a medical condition," he answered. "There's not enough of a certain type of cell that makes melanin, so I lose all color in certain areas."

"I meant, why do you hide them? They're cool," I clarified. 

He paused again, and I looked up at him as he gave me a hard to read expression. 

He licked his lips. "I got made fun of, growing up. Kids would say things like, here comes the spotty man, or treat me like I have a contagious disease."

My ears laid back. "Well, that's wrong. Your spots are cool. They make you look different, instead of having just plain old one-colored skin. I have stripes and spots, but most people can't see them."

He looked my fur and mane over. "Um… I can't either. How do you know you have stripes and spots?"

"I can see them, just barely, if I stare long enough," I replied. "Sometimes a human can see them, but they say just barely too. I've never had a pony say they can see them."

"Is that so?" he asked slowly as he looked my fur over. "I want to try something, if you're up to it."

I blinked. "Try what?"

"To prove you have stripes and spots."

I gave him a confused look. "How are you going to do that?"

He smiled. "Have you ever heard of tetrachromacy?"

"Tetrawhatmancy?" I asked. "I haven't heard of that kind of magic. What's it do?"

He laughed out loud. "No, tetrachromacy, and it isn't magic. Some humans and animals can see a wider range of colors. I heard that ponies can't be tetrachromats, but maybe it's just much rarer in ponies. It is already rare in humans."

"And you think I am a tetrachromat?" I asked, considering what that meant. "So me seeing my spots and stripes—"

"Is you seeing shades of colors in your fur that most the rest of us can't normally see," he finished. 

I looked at my fur and could just barely make out a spot when I was gazing. "But how do you test that?"

"A blacklight."

I chewed on my lip. "Are you sure? I was told ponies already saw color differently than humans."

"Well, you have bigger eyes, and they take in more light. That might make the colors you see more vivid, but it doesn't necessarily mean you see more colors," he explained. 

I knew I wasn't crazy, but I would love to prove that I wasn't crazy. "Where do we find a blacklight?"

Russell moved, and I got off his leg. He stood up and put his backpack back on before gesturing for me to follow. "Come on; there's a lab that has one, and they only lock it at night."

I followed him as he walked towards the classrooms, to a building I hadn't been by as of yet. This building had murals on it. The wall closest to me had one mural of Phobia Remedy facing off against a night pony stallion. I was surprised to see a second mural featuring Crystal kicking Sunset Blessing in the face. That one seemed an odd thing to depict. I wondered why they felt that was important and why exactly Crystal had assaulted Sunset Blessing. 

He led me into a classroom with no windows and closed the door behind us. After I looked around, I could tell it was a science lab of some sort, and it had several side doors that went deeper into the building. Even with the lights turned on, it was dim in this room. 

"This isn't where you take me to murder me in private, is it?" I asked nervously as he searched a table on the side of the room. 

"Naw, this is the light and photography lab," he answered as he continued his search. "This main room is where they go over various labs involving light and how it impacts art, and those little side rooms are dark rooms for developing photos."

I glanced around; it did have several weird-shaped projectors, giant floodlights, and prisms about.

Russell found what he was looking for, an oversized flashlight with a dark purple covering over the bulb area, and walked over to the light switch for the room. "Okay, stay where you are. I'm going to turn the lights off and turn this on. Then we'll be able to see if there are any extra colors on you."

The lights flipped off, sending the room into complete darkness due to not having windows. The next thing I knew, Russell was shining that odd flashlight on me.

"Well, would you look at that," Russell said in a pleased tone. 

I looked at myself. The white of my fur seemed to glow in the purple light, but that wasn't what stood out most. All over my body were spots that looked like eggs that someone had sat on but squished instead of crushed. On my legs, there was a zigzag pattern near the base of my hooves, and when I stretched out my wings, I could see clearly defined stripes with circles interspersed between them. Even I had never seen my stripes and spots this well. 

I took a few happy bounces with my wings spread. "Haha! Validation! I'm a spotty, zigzaggy, strippy pegasus! I'm not boring!"

Russell chuckled. "Not boring at all."