//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: I Forgot I Was There // by GaPJaxie //------------------------------// “Ah can’t believe what Ah’m hearin’! Somepony beats Sparkle black ’n’ blue, an’ you wanna cover it up like the whole thing never happened? Ah don’t care if she healed Sparkle or not. You oughta be ashamed o’ yerself, RD!” Twilight’s eyes slowly opened, her eyelids fluttering and then gradually sliding up. The world was muted and distant, like all the edges had been taken off. Around her, she could see nothing but a dull, uniform field of pastel purple. Applejack was shouting, but the words were muffled and quiet, echoing through strange spaces. She felt like she was lying on a cloud, the world around her soft and warm. The universe seemed to shift with every breath she took, like it was moving around her. For a time, she concluded that she was dead. It seemed like the most reasonable explanation—the strain of healing Sparkle had killed her, and now her disembodied spirit was haunting Ponyville. Being a disembodied spirit did not seem so bad to Twilight—it felt warm and restful—but it troubled her that her friends were fighting. She strained to listen to what they were saying, but the words were hard to make out. She could hear muffled fighting, but individual words only came through clearly when somepony shouted, and then not always. “Quiet, both of you! This situation is trying for all of us. Twilight and Sparkle mean a great deal to us, and tempers can run hot—but we are still civilized, and I will not have my friends come to blows like a pack of ruffians!” Twilight wanted to reach out to Rarity and tell her that it was all okay, but the soft and supportive fog around her sapped her energy. She couldn't orient herself or tell what direction Rarity’s voice was coming from, and attempts to summon her magic left only a numb feeling. She struggled, but to no avail, and eventually gave up. Her friends, she thought, would have to go on without her. The shouting had quieted while she struggled, and she could no longer make out what was being said. She shut her eyes, and let herself drift away. In time, she came to notice things about the strange world she had found herself inside. It was not quite like lying on a cloud. It was soft and warm, but it was also responsive to her movements. When she took a breath, it moved in time. It twitched with the beats of her heart. She felt safe and secure, but less at ease as time went on. The fact that she was breathing, which previously had not troubled her, started to seem like a serious hole in her “I’m dead” theory. Feeling was returning to her body, and when it did, she forced her head to raise, opening her eyes again. From that haze of indistinct purple, her view swept back, and though her vision was blurry, she could see darker shades, blue, and traces of pink all running together before her. She squinted, but her vision would not clear. She leaned forward to press her muzzle to the strange mix of colors, but something was wrong. The world no longer breathed with her. Sitting up, thinking and worrying, had quickened the pace of her heart and altered the sequence of her breaths. The world moved around her, but not with her. She had ruined it. “Dream on! You want to tell Celestia, you can run down to Canterlot on your own four hooves. Spike would never betray Twilight!” “I’m so sorry,” Twilight whispered to the swirling colors around her. She couldn't summon the strength to speak any louder, and so she buried her head in the fog until purple was all she could see. “It’s not fair. You have so much. Mom and Dad and Shining Armor and everypony in Ponyville. I never even got to tell Princess Celestia I love her.” Twilight couldn't cry. Her eyes hurt, but the tears would not come any more than her body would move. She was too tired to cry. Even when she squeezed her eyes shut, she could still see purple. She thought that she must have opened them again, and was just so disoriented that she didn’t notice. “You tried to give it to me. You did. You were so nice. But you couldn’t do it. All you could do was lend it to me, and that just made it all more yours. I wanted what you had.” She drew a ragged breath, her motions only growing more out of sync with the slow, steady colors around her. “But I held onto it so tight that I broke it.” “I don’t care! Spike is a little dragon who’s been through enough already, and I won’t let you bully him into sending a letter he doesn't want to send!” For a moment, a muted response could be heard, but it was cut short by a thundering, “I! Said! NO!” “Now it will never go back together and it’s all my fault.” Twilight’s breath cracked, and for a time, she could not continue. The sound of her own quick, unsteady breaths muffled the world around her, and she pressed closer into the purple fog so she could feel what she could not hear. “I’m a selfish, jealous pony and... and the world would be better if I just...” “If I just...” Twilight trembled. Her horn was numb, and her magic was drained, but this enchantment was complicated. It had so many interacting component spells and effects that it wouldn't take much to send them out of alignment, like a blanket unraveling from a single loose thread. She did not have the strength to make her horn light, but it sparked faintly. It would only take a moment, and even though she was weak, this power was hers. “Oh, I know how it goes, Rainbow Dash! Everything was fine when they were with me. I threw a party, they hugged! Things didn’t go bad until they started spending more time with you. And now you’re looking all shifty and hiding things from your friends! Confess!” “Stop.” It took Twilight a moment to realize that she hadn’t spoken, that the voice in her ears was not her own. The voice was no stronger than hers, but it came with urgency, and a trace of fear. Something hard shoved against her head, increasingly agitated as its blind and fumbling movements struck her cheek and temples. “Don’t do it.” The other voice cracked as it tried and failed to yell, while the offending object bumped into Twilight’s head hard enough to cause a flash of pain. She lost her concentration, and the spark on her horn went out. Twilight leaned back from the impact and opened her eyes again. She could see better now. Although shapes were still blurry, the purple in front of her was now a distinct object instead of just one of many colors mixed into the world. That object lay alongside her, but tapered up towards a part with stripes of other hues. There was something pointed there, attached to the rest, that sharply jabbed her in the cheek when it leaned forward. “Ow!” Twilight twitched, her voice a raspy squeak. Pain sent a jolt of adrenaline through her, and the haze surrounding her thoughts began to clear. She tried to lean away, but her body was uncooperative, and she barely moved. “I stopped, I stopped,” she answered as quickly as she could. The effort of such alarm winded her, and she was left breathless as she tried to recover herself. The creature next to her seemed no better off, and their breaths fell into sequence again. As blood rushed through Twilight’s body and air through her lungs, her vision slid into focus. There were still spots in it, but she could see Sparkle now, not just a mass of purple. The two were lying against one another on the couch, somepony evidently having moved her up from the floor. Sparkle’s coat was ruffled between her forelegs, where Twilight had buried her head in against her. The effort of jabbing Twilight with her horn was exhausting for Sparkle, and her breaths were quick and deep. “Ah said trust! Trust! Like we need ta’ trust that Princess Celestia wants what’s best for both of them too!” “You can’t move either?” Twilight finally broke the silence. Sparkle struggled for a moment, her hooves twitching faintly then going still. “Nope. Almost completely numb,” she answered, glancing at Twilight. “Why is it that you can’t—” “I finished the spell for you. You’d have been unconscious clear through to tomorrow otherwise.” Twilight faintly inclined her head towards the window. Sparkle squinted into the sunlight for a moment, taking note of the time of day. “Oh. Right,” she murmured, looking down at her hooves. “I guess that’s good.” She paused for a moment, reaching for something else to say, finally uttering a weak, “Because it would be bad if they’d been fighting over us clear through to tomorrow.” The argument upstairs had entered a loud patch. Voices were again raised, and muffled anger clearly echoed down to the two unicorns, but so many ponies were shouting over each other that individual words could not be made out. Twilight and Sparkle both turned up their ears, straining to listen, but neither could make out more details. It was Sparkle who gave up first, folding her ears against her head and peering down at Rarity’s couch. “Just... just now,” Sparkle murmured, unable to look at Twilight. “Were you about to...” “No,” Twilight answered reflexively, her own gaze going over the edge of the couch, staring down in the other direction. After a moment of silence between them, she moderated her answer with a quiet, “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Don’t you go puttin’ words in my mouth, Rarity! Ah meant what Ah said.” The ceiling of the boutique’s showroom shook with the impact of Applejack’s hoof on the upstairs floor. “It’s all well and good that you two feel guilty y’all let this happen in the first place, but it weren’t you who started the brawl, an’ now yer lettin that guilt stand in the way of what you all know we need ta do!” Twilight folded her ears back as Applejack’s shout echoed clearly around them. She squeezed her eyes shut and prepared to endure a long silence, but to her surprise, Sparkle spoke up almost at once. “What was that you said earlier?” she asked, forcing her gaze to rise to Twilight’s face. “About Princess Celestia.” “Oh... I said that I never got to tell Princess Celestia I loved her.” Twilight glanced up at Sparkle, and then back down. She rubbed her hooves together nervously, not sure what to say or do. “I’m sure she knows. How much she means to me, that is. She’s like a mother to me, but the time never felt right to say it, and if I said it now, it would just seem like I was trying to... one-up you.” Twilight started to ramble, her words coming as a single uninterrupted stream. “I didn’t want that. I didn’t have any specific plans, but, I always had the idea that one day I’d tell her and it would be special. Maybe on Mother’s Day. Just something quiet, and we’d spend time together. I wasn’t in any particular rush, but now that I can’t do it, it's sometimes all I think about and...” Twilight bit her lip, tapping the tips of her hooves together. “I’m getting some feeling back in my legs,” she observed, her tone quick and quiet. “Oh. That’s...” Sparkle was left at a loss, her gaze going back to the couch. “I mean, she’s done a lot for me—us—but a Mother’s Day gift?” Sparkle gave a quiet, nervous laugh. “That just seems like it would be a little—I mean, what would Mom think?” “Nothing. I’m sure it’s fine.” Twilight muttered. “Ponies give Mother’s Day gifts to mares who aren't their mothers all the time. Right?” She managed to fold her hooves, crossing and uncrossing them as she spoke. “It’s not like we replaced her or anything.” “I don’t know how you could even say that. It’s not funny.” Sparkle let the conversation lapse for a moment, before she added, “Besides, I couldn't think of a gift.” “It’s not like Princess Celestia really needs a gift. I’m sure she’d be happy just to hear it.” Twilight spoke without conviction, doubt seeping into her tone. “It must have hurt her to have to send us away.” “We needed to grow up,” Sparkle mumbled. “Besides saving Equestria, that is. I’m sure we could have found friends in Canterlot, if that’s what Princess Celestia really wanted, but think of all the things we’ve learned that we couldn't have if she were still sheltering us.” “Yes,” Twilight agreed. “She just wanted what was best for us.” A long silence came after that, each of the ponies staring down to the couch. The argument upstairs had sunk to a lull, and was barely audible, only traces of words drifting down into the boutique's showroom. “Not that there’s anything wrong with a gift,” Twilight continued, nervous and quick. “A gift can say things. Like that I appreciate all she’s done and I understand she wants me to be independent but it’s still okay if I drop in from time to time to say hi and maybe have tea because she’s my teacher and teachers and grown students do that. For example.” Twilight and Sparkle each looked up at each other, and for a moment their eyes met. They quickly looked back down. “Something that uniquely symbolizes us, or friendship, or something historic,” Sparkle suggested. “Something from her past she thought was lost, that would make her happy to see again. But the only thing I could think of was...” Both of them squeezed their eyes shut, falling silent as the same thought ran through their heads. Questions about Celestia’s age, her history, and how she saw them ran through the two unicorn’s minds, but all thoughts pointed to the same conclusion. “We aren't even sure that she had students before us.” Sparkle dismissed the thought quickly. She lapsed into silence for a moment, but then she pressed on, “I thought about giving her you.” “What?” Twilight’s head shot up sharply, matching Sparkle’s unsteady gaze with her own wide-eyed, confused stare. “We... weren't getting along so well. I know that Princess Celestia misses having me at hoof, talking face to face, all the time we spent together. I thought that I could tell her I loved her, that we both loved her, and that you wanted to come home for a little while. You could make new friends in Canterlot. We’d have different lives but still see each other.” Sparkle couldn't quite hold her gaze to Twilight, and her eyes settled somewhere around Twilight’s withers. “I thought it would be nice.” Sparkle’s tone was apologetic, even guilty. “Getting to see Mom and Dad and Princess Celestia every day, having her there to help me—you—through all this.” Twilight didn’t say anything at first. She wasn’t sure how to feel: insulted, offended, or tempted by the prospect of that escape. She would get to go home. She wouldn't have to save the world or fight for Equestria—not until she was ready. She could be by Princess Celestia’s side again, studying whatever magic held her interest late into the night. She could make friends with the other unicorns she had so long neglected, and find out just what life in Canterlot she had denied herself by being a shut-in. When she was done, she could go back to her library, and everything within. “Who would take Spike?” she asked abruptly. Sparkle couldn’t find the words to answer her, and instead just buried her gaze, her ears folding tightly. Twilight looked at her for a moment, but the awkward silence was too much to bear. Soon, she too turned away. “I might still have to go back, when Princess Celestia finds out.” Twilight tried to force the conversation forward. She focused on happy memories from Canterlot, things from her foalhood and her brother’s wedding. “I would be getting off lucky, if all she did was keep me in Canterlot for as long as I have left.” “For as long as you have left?” Sparkle asked, puzzled, her eyes returning to Twilight’s face. Twilight looked disbelieving for moment, and then her eyes narrowed, matching Sparkle’s gaze. “Don’t play stupid,” she snapped back, sharp and bitter, but Sparkle’s expression only grew more confused. “There’s no historical evidence of there being two Starswirl the Beardeds, and he tried to cover up what would have been the single greatest magical discovery in pony history. The spell doesn't last. The copies it creates vanish.” Twilight held her angry gaze, unflinching in the face of Sparkle’s increasing shock. “He tried to hide it because he knew ponies would use it anyway.” “Oh, oh no. Is that what you thought?” Sparkle let out a breath, eyes wide. “You don’t know that. There are other possible explanations. Maybe Starswirl and his copy got into a fight like we did, but one of them was killed. Maybe they were ashamed and pretended to be each other. Maybe our ability to combine magic is the reason Starswirl was such a powerful wizard. Even if you are right, we can fix this. We can save you. Why would you think...” Sparkle watched as Twilight’s angry glare faltered, and she leaned in against her counterpart’s mane. “Why didn’t you tell anypony you thought you were dying?” “I did,” Twilight snapped, but her anger was already faltering, and it was a moment before she could continue. “I—I told Rainbow Dash,” Twilight let her head slump against Sparkle’s, what strength she had leaving her. Her voice cracked and dropped to a whisper as she struggled to find words. “Now my friends are fighting.” “And you know so much, huh, Applejack? Maybe Twilight needs help instead of a punishment. Did you think of that? Maybe going a little crazy is a perfectly normal reaction to what she’s going through. Maybe this is our fault and you’re just too stubborn to admit it!” At first, Sparkle said nothing. Twilight was leaning on her, and her own body felt weak. It was easy for her to let the weight carry her down to the soft cushions, to surrender to the pressure that was upon her and sink down with Twilight. She didn’t know what to say or what to do, so she said and did nothing. Adrenaline had faded, and her alertness was fading with it. Over the minutes, her eyelids grew heavy, and she thought that she could rest. When she got up, she thought, she would know what to do. “It’s all my fault,” Twilight whimpered, so quiet she would be inaudible if her muzzle were not against Sparkle’s ear. Her words were slurred, her own eyes heavy as well, as the strain of the spell threatened to pull her from the waking world. “No.” Sparkle’s eyes shot open, and she raised her head sharply. The motion forced Twilight’s head up as well, and she pulled back with surprise. “No, no it isn’t your fault. Both of us did nothing. I tried to pretend everything was fine as things got worse and worse. But I’m not going to just lie here while you tear yourself apart and my friends fight each other!” Sparkle struggled to rise, managing to get a hoof out from under herself, her body shaking with the effort as she tried to stand. Twilight was on the outside of the divan, and so she leaned away as Sparkle moved, face frozen with uncertainty. “Applejack!” Sparkle tried to call up to the others, but she couldn't find the strength to shout, and only winded herself. Her weak attempt to rise shoved her sharply off balance and into Twilight’s side, and both of them went tumbling off the couch to the floor. Lacking the strength to catch herself, Twilight landed on her side, Sparkle roughly landing on top of her. “What are you doing?” Twilight demanded, struggling to right herself. Sparkle’s weight came down very nearly directly on top of her, and their attempts to extricate themselves only left them more entangled. Somehow, in their struggle, they ended up turned around—Sparkle’s sides pinning Twilight’s head to the floor. A sharp growl of, “Get your fat flank off me,” made Sparkle blush, but she didn’t slow her efforts. “I’m fixing it! Help me get the others down here,” Sparkle ordered, managing to right herself, Twilight sitting up next to her. As Sparkle struggled to stand, Twilight took note of the decorations in the room, her eyes drawn to a vase resting on an end table. She shut her eyes, and her horn faintly sparked. She magic was so weak, she struggled to summon even the faintest force. The table rocked and swayed, and finally fell over with a crash, the vase atop it shattering into a thousand pieces on the floor. “Wow,” Sparkle muttered, momentarily taken aback. “That was... I mean, I always hated that vase.” Twilight gave her an embarrassed, uncertain smile. “Yeah. Me too,” she answered, turning her gaze to the hardwood floor. From upstairs came the sound of pounding hooves and beating wings. Rainbow Dash was the first to make it downstairs, shooting into the boutique's main room with an alarmed shout of, “Twilight? You okay?” Applejack was not far behind her, then Rarity and Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie was last down the stairs, her expression grim and her straight-combed mane cast into a shadow that seemed to have no source.  The sight of the two ponies collapsed on the floor gave most of them pause, but Fluttershy rushed to their sides without hesitation. “Oh, no, you two should be in bed.” She tried to help them up as Rainbow Dash looked between them uncertainly. Applejack’s expression was no more certain than Rainbow Dash’s, and she peered at the two of them closely. “Don’t worry, everypony. I know what I’m doing!” Sparkle strained herself hoarse trying to raise her voice, and for a moment, she struggled on the floor before ultimately falling over onto her side. An embarrassed silence came over the room, until Sparkle finally grumbled, “Fluttershy, could you help me up and lift my hoof so I’m dramatically pointing?” Fluttershy hesitated, but finally reached down to wrap her hooves around Sparkle, her beating wings lifting the unicorn off the floor until her hooves barely touched. She reached a hoof under Sparkle, raising her left foreleg straight. Sparkle gave an awkward little cough. “No, pointing at Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy adjusted her aim. “Right. Thank you.” Sparkle drew a breath. “Don’t worry, everypony. I know what I’m doing! Rainbow Dash, your heart’s in the right place, but I trust Princess Celestia implicitly. Loyalty to a friend means doing what’s best for them, even if it gets them in trouble. Applejack, you’re—” Sparkle cleared her throat loudly, Fluttershy turning her hoof to point at the orange earth pony. “Applejack, you’re doing the right thing, but your stubbornness is only hurting Rainbow Dash. You know she’s a good pony and she’s obviously in pain; be more understanding of why she’s doing what she’s doing. Pinkie Pie—” Fluttershy shifted Sparkle’s hoof again. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but it’s freaking me out. Stop that.” A loud squeak carried through the boutique as Pinkie Pie’s hair suddenly regained its curl, light returning to her. “Oh boy, a big monologue scene!” She clapped her hooves together. “Does this mean that everything is going to be better from now on?” “No.” Twilight answered from the floor, strength flowing into her tone. Pinkie Pie froze in the middle of her exuberant clapping, her face falling into confusion. “At least, not right away. But I was wrong, Rainbow Dash. Things can be better again.” A blush rose to Twilight’s face as she spoke, but she pressed on through it. “We’re the Bearers of the Elements. We can overcome anything.” She hesitated for a moment, and added with a more somber note, “Or try, anyway. Better that than sitting around feeling helpless.” “Well, that’s... good, dears.” Rarity’s mane was frazzled, her eyes tired and strained. Fluttershy lowered Sparkle to the floor, while Rarity took a moment to compose herself, searching for the right words. “Were you two able to work things out between yourselves?” Twilight and Sparkle shared a glance, and Twilight shook her head. “I assaulted another pony, Rarity. Even if I was all better, I’d have to answer for that. I might have to go away for a while, to Canterlot, until—” “I’m going with you!” Rainbow Dash burst out, trotting across the room to Twilight’s side. Applejack narrowed her eyes faintly, and Fluttershy bit her lip in hesitation. Twilight just looked surprised, turning up to the pegasus beside her. Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a hesitant look, shaking her head. “If the Princess calls me away, Rainbow Dash, it’s because I’m being punished. I don’t think she’ll want—” “Was I asking her permission?” Rainbow Dash demanded, poking Twilight in the chest. “You’re my friend! I’m not going to let you run off alone. What’s Celestia going to do about it, huh?” “Well, she’s the Princess. She could throw you in the dungeon,” Twilight pointed out, a faint smile tugging at the edges of her mouth. “Besides that!” Rainbow Dash threw up her forehooves, the beat of her wings keeping her from tumbling forward. “Oh oh, me too, me too!” Pinkie Pie bounced across the room, landing on Twilight’s other side. “Because at first, things were all—” Pinkie bounced up and down by Twilight’s side, flipping all the way over before she landed again. “But then suddenly, they got all—” She bared her teeth and growled. “And then they got all—” Abruptly, her hair lost its curl, falling dark and straight around her shoulders as her eyes watered. With a loud squeak, her hair abruptly curled again. “And without friends to keep everything happy, who knows where they could end up next?” “Ah can’t believe...” Applejack gritted her teeth. She shared a glance with Fluttershy, and after a moment, trotted up to Sparkle’s side. Rarity glanced between the two groups, and quickly spoke before Applejack could say anything more. “Well then, dears. Shall I take a letter to the princess? No point in speculating until we know how she’ll rule on the matter.” Rarity’s horn shone with a faint blue light, a sheet of paper, quill and inkpot floating towards her from across the room. “How is it that you always begin these things?” Sparkle opened her mouth to speak, but shut it without a word. Only a few feet away from her, Twilight mirrored the action, and the two shared a glance. “You should,” Sparkle nodded to Twilight, and they both turned back to face Rarity. “Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight began. It took her a moment to get more than that, as she struggled to speak, but she finally forced the words out. “It shames me to have to write to you now, to confess that I have committed a violent crime. Particularly, I assaulted my counterpart, Sparkle, and...” Twilight trailed off, feeling the pressure as everypony in the room stared at her expectantly. “And she’s fine. But I need your help. Please come soon.” “Your faithful student, Twilight.”