//------------------------------// // CH7: Assistance // Story: PonyFall: Majestic Royalty // by DragonLS //------------------------------// Special Thanks to Editor: DaMobbs & Proofreader: Meeester Chapter 7: Assistance Melissa’s obliviousness had always annoyed me to no end. She may be a friend of mine, but she had a certain craziness that made her lovable and friendly. As for myself, I wouldn’t mind it as much if she just kept it to a minimum while working. I’m surprised that she hadn’t gotten fired due to her erratic personality yet. Regardless, it’s her problem, not mine. ‘Doesn’t mean I can’t stop thinking about it though.’ I furrowed my brow at Melissa, engrossed in Celestia’s vibrant hair. “Melissa, would you stop with that!?” “But it’s soooo soft and fluffy!” She said in a cutesy voice, fluffing up more hair to emphasise her point. “Doesn’t mean she likes what you’re doing…” I needed a way to make her stop, and she only listened to one thing. A small grin formed on my face. “Besides, you don’t want her complaining to customer service, right? Remember that incident with the old lady last month?” Melissa immediately stopped fondling Celestia’s hair and shot me a very dark glare. “Richie! You promised you wouldn’t mention that!” “I haven’t said anything yet,” I said, putting my hands up defensively, ”but my point still stands: Do you want to get in trouble again?” I added, changing to a much firmer voice by the end. Melissa frowned and stepped away from Celestia, to which she sighed in relief. Melissa clapped her hands together like she was going to pray and took a curt bow. “Gomenasai, I couldn’t control myself ma’am. Please forgive me.” “G… Gomen…? What is that language you used?” Celestia asked, her voice laced in confusion. I walked up to her and laid my hand on her shoulder. “It’s another language here. What she spoke was Japanese, which means ‘I’m sorry’; usually suited for friends or acquaintances, if I remember correctly.” I looked back at Melissa and sighed. “It was nice seeing you again Melissa, but we need to get going; shopping to do and whatnot.” I took Celestia’s hand and proceeded to walk off further inside the store, forcibly if I had to. Being around Melissa for longer than necessary was not good for my health. I heard Melissa shout, but I didn’t look back. “Let me know if you need any customer assistance, alright!?” ‘The day I ask for customer assistance from you is the day I willingly buy a Justin Beiber album.’ I thought to myself. I looked back at Celestia, who had a worried look on her face. I merely sighed. “Don’t mind her. Melissa’s crazy, but she’s a good person at heart. She just can’t help herself sometimes.” “I noticed. I just wish we met under more… sane circumstances.” “Her, sane?” I chuckled. “That will be the day.” I needed to set my priorities straight. Melissa took up a good chunk of time and I needed to get on the ball. First thing I needed to do was get Celestia some actual clothes. Then there’s the matter of sizing her up, figuring out her bra size, her underwear, and— I stopped mid-thought, realizing what I had just been thinking. I had to go into the women’s section of Target, to find women’s clothes for Celestia. The keyword here was women. The section in question was to my right, where assortments of women’s clothes, ranging from sweaters to lingerie, were set up. I immediately smacked the front of my face, realizing the fundamental problem in my otherwise fool-proof plan. Aw fuck me, why didn’t I think of this before? I have to figure out what size she is and give her bras to try on? I don’t even know how to use the damn things. It’s even more of a problem that Celestia doesn’t know anything about the current fashion trends... or does she? She’s a one-thousand year old goddess. Surely she of all ponies, or people now I guess, would know about fashion? I looked at Celestia, who was giving me a confused look. “Is something wrong Gerald?” “Celestia, do you know about women’s clothing?” “Well of course I do Gerald. I’ve lived for a long time. I’ve been to multitudes of formal parties and I’ve even gone out on a few occasions… why?” “No, that’s not what I mean.” I said, shaking my head. “In terms of humans, do you know what kind of fashion they wear?” Celestia raised a brow at this question. “It is the same, is it not?” “Seeing as how clothes differ greatly between ponies and humans, I think not.” “Well, what’s the problem with trying on clothes then?” ‘Do I really have to explain why I can’t go in there, and why I’m worried with her going in by herself?’ In my opinion, going into the women’s section isn’t really that big of a deal, but the looks you get… I’ve been there, and it’s not comfortable when a man looks at women’s underwear while getting the stink-eye from other people. Have you ever ventured into a Victoria’s Secret by yourself? It’s a place where no man should ever set foot in. I looked back behind me to see Melissa was greeting customers as always, or in other words, shirking her duty. Then again, maybe she isn’t; it’s not common for Target employees to greet customers anyway. I rubbed my temples and sighed. ‘I really need to stop jinxing myself.’ ***** The explanation I gave to Melissa could have gone better. She couldn’t really believe I didn’t have the balls to go into the women’s section, but she said it was understandable, saying it was better being the sensible man instead of the perverted man. I couldn’t tell if that was an insult or a joke. I did have to tell her something in private though, so I pulled her over to the Starbuck’s at the entrance, away from Celestia’s ears, while telling Celestia to stay put next to the escalators. Making sure Celestia was out of earshot, I wrapped a shoulder around Melissa, bringing her close. This earned a notable reaction from her, as I saw her cheeks turn crimson red. “W-what are you doing Richie!?” she said, stuttering, before she started to smile. “Aw, if you wanted to kiss me in private, you should have said--” I immediately covered her mouth with my other hand, turning the rest of her sentence into unintelligible mumbling. I dunno if she was teasing me or not, but it wasn’t funny. I removed my hand when she stopped talking. “D-don’t be ridiculous! Not exactly the time to be teasing me here, Melissa. I need your help with my friend there.” I said, pointing to Celestia. “With what exactly?” she asked, intrigued. “Clothes mostly; teaching her how to wear bras, figuring out her bust size, that sort of deal.” Melissa looked at me for a moment, unsure of how to respond before she burst out laughing. I didn’t find it funny in the slightest. “Ah heh, that’s funny Richie.” she managed to eek out after calming down. ”A woman as old as her? I’m sure she can do it on her own.” “Well that’s just it. She can’t.” This earned another chuckle from Melissa. “Oh you, I always knew you were bad at jokes, but this one takes the cake!” Once again, I didn’t laugh. I looked at her carefully, not showing any emotion, or even a hint of laughter. She looked back at me, her laughter devolving into a frown in a matter of moments. “You’re not joking, are you?” I merely sighed as I looked over at Celestia, who was preoccupied with the arrow buttons on the wall by the elevator. I looked back at Melissa. “Well here’s the thing…” I needed some kind of excuse to show that Celestia wasn’t normal, but keeping it discreet. I ran a couple scenarios through my mind quickly, so I could give Melissa a reason, and there was one that stuck out… “Celestia’s from a pure nudist colony in another part of this country and she’s just now getting used to clothes.”  I wonder to myself how I came up with such a stupid, far-fetched scenario like this one, but it’s better than saying she popped out of the sky. Melissa whistled in fascination. “A pure nudist colony? Those are rather rare to see around here!” “Yes,” I practically screamed, happy that she was buying it completely, ”which is why I need help with her measurements and the clothes. Think you can help me out?” “Well… seeing that she’s in a pickle and you’re too ball-less to help her yourself…” I gave her the best seething glare I could muster. Honestly, is it such an issue that I don’t like walking into the women’s section of a store!? Melissa gave a smile and nodded. “Alrighty, I’ll help you out. But you owe me.” she quickly added. “How do I ‘owe’ someone who’s doing their job!?” I quipped. “Heh heh, because this is a friendly favor, isn’t it?” “No, it’s not! It’s…” I was trying to figure out a more proper term other than friendly favor, but nothing came up, forcing me to let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay fine, a friendly favor. Oh, one more thing Melissa…” “Hmm?” “Don’t mention any of this to her, not even about the nudist colony; she’s a little… sensitive about it. She took it pretty hard when she realized nudists weren’t exactly commonplace in society. She wanted to be a normal person in society, so… do that for me, please?” “Don’t worry Rich—“ I started glaring at her again as soon as she started that name, but she immediately changed her words. “I mean Gerald.” I smiled at her. “Thanks Melissa, you’re a lifesaver.” “H-help! This box is eating me!” My vision immediately snapped back towards Celestia, except Celestia wasn’t there. Me and Melissa ran up towards the Elevator, oblivious to where she was. “Celes—argh!” I bit my tongue once more. Calling her by that name was starting to get annoying now. “Where are you?” I heard some pounding behind the elevator door, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Celestia would even be able to meld into society at all... ***** After getting her out of the elevator (and one melodramatic speech about how it almost ate her), I had to tell her that she needed to be more careful when messing with technology, especially when I wasn’t around. I even had to give her a brief explanation on what they do. This action did, however, solidify my lie with Melissa. I even heard her say she felt sorry for her. The way I have to use deception just to get things moving is kind of sad, but it got the job done. I brought Celestia up to speed on the story and what she needed to know. She was confused by what I meant by nudist colony, but I told her to just roll with it. She tried to voice her concerns, but I cut them off at the source and told her I’d explain what they were later. I didn’t exactly want her raising any weird or awkward questions, and it was the only way for her to get any quick clothing assistance. Then again, I think she was more concerned with Melissa fondling her hair again. After waving to the two of them, they walked into the women’s section of the store. I told them I’d be right back after I had done a couple of things around here. Now that the clothing situation was being taken cared of, I made a beeline for the CD racks. I promised myself I’d get that Justin Beiber album after all. ‘At least I didn’t say Britney Spears, but please let them be sold out…’ It didn’t take long to arrive, and there were quite a few people browsing the racks as well as the electronics next door. Some were looking at video games, others at music, and a whiny little kid that wanted Lego Batman that they were showing on one of their TV displays. I browsed through the music section, looking for the album, and thankfully my search had been fruitless. I thanked god for that. With all those crazy teenagers going crazy over that kid, I’m not surprised they’d be sold out. “Dude, did you get a look at those pink skies yesterday? It was freaky!” “I saw it too; the news channel was like, all over it!” I stopped fumbling through the CDs and averted my eyes toward a couple teenagers, probably no older than sixteen or seventeen. The word ‘pink skies’ set off warning bells, telling me I needed to listen to them. I side-stepped a little closer, feigning interest in whatever CD I happened to be holding at the time. “Did they say anything about it?” “The news guy was saying the police are investigating it, and hey, maybe even the government!” “Duuuude, the government? That’s major!” replied the awestruck teen. “Yeah, far out!” agreed the other. While I questioned the teenagers and their cliché way of speaking, beads of sweat began to trickle down my face. ‘Given how the Pink Skies were irregular, it’s not surprising the Government would be involved. But judging by these two jokers, they’d believe anything. Plus, I doubt news reporters would just bluntly say that the government would be involved on country-wide TV without any proof… Although, one thing I find odd is that they’re not mentioning the chocolate smell. I wonder if I should ask that.’ I figured it was worth a shot. I turned towards them while picking up another random album, placing the other one back in a random slot. I made as if I was going to the register to pay but turned to face them as I passed by. “Hey dudes, what’s up?” I asked them. They looked at me with a smile. “Nothing bro, just chillin’. What’s happening?” One dude said. “Nothing much, it’s just I overheard the whole thing about the whole pink skies thing. Freaky, right?” “Definitely dude, it was totally freaky, like that one time me and—“ But then dude number two elbowed the guy in the stomach. “Psst, we’re not supposed to talk about that man!” dude number two said. I merely shook my head. I had an idea of what they were implying, but it was really none of my business. The pink skies were however. I leaned my back against the CD case. “So anyway, that chocolate fudge smell was weird too, right?” That’s when they looked at me, confused. I raised a brow and repeated my question. “There was a chocolate kind of smell when it occurred, right?” “Like, no dude. Just some flashy pretty pink lights in the sky.” “What…?” I’m sure it’s just because those two dudes were idiots, but I couldn’t help but wonder. “Really? No fudge smell or anything? Just pink flashing skies?” “You got it dude, nothing but the pretty pink taste of heaven! Praise heaven!” “Don’t get religious on me here…” I said, backing off. I decided to walk off without another word. My last words were probably slightly rude, but those two were getting a bit ridiculous at the end there. How could they have not smelled that fudge? I thought it best to ask some other people around here. However, when I did, a lot of them mentioned the same story: Pink Skies, no fudge. Again, and again, and again. ‘Now that I think about it… Celestia is the one who smelled faintly of fudge. And when I was no longer in her vicinity, I couldn’t smell it anymore. I certainly can’t sniff her again since she already took a bath this morning. Huh… Is it possible that anyone who came from Equestria ends up smelling like fudge?’ I needed more evidence to support that line of thought though. It was only a theory after all. There was still that one guy on the IRC channel that claimed he had Rarity. I played along with him too, but I wonder if he was even telling the truth. “Meh, people just trolling as usual, I’m sure.” I shrugged it off. I was about to walk out of the electronic aisle, until an employee stopped me. “Hey, you! Stop, you need to pay for that!” The brown-haired employee said. I turned around, confused. “What are you talking about?” “The CD in your hand, you need to pay for it!” I blinked a couple of times, looking at my left hand. ‘That’s right, I grabbed a random CD from the shelf and—Oh you’ve gotta be shitting me.’ I looked at the album in my hand, and the image I saw on the front cover, made me shudder in horror. I would have fainted in a comedic style too, but that was just too dramatic. In my hand, was a Justin Beiber album. I banged my forehead with it. ‘God dammit…’ ***** Half an hour had passed since then, which involved me randomly walking around the store, idly glancing at whatever I happened to pass by. Before you ask, no, I didn’t buy the album, but I did mention to the employee that I’ll be paying for it up front. It gave me more time to decide if I should throw it in the garbage or actually buy it. In the game of life, being honest or truthful 100% of the time can land you in pretty bad shit. I sighed as I found myself in the toys section of Target. Transformers, Care Bears, Batman action figures… I picked up a random Batman toy, mainly due to nostalgia. I used to collect them all the time when I was a child. Back then, Batman was the best damn superhero in my book, maybe better than Superman. That reminds me, that whole Batman vs Superman debate is still going on and while I think Superman is fully capable of kicking Batman’s ass, Batman will always be the caped crusader I know and love. He had a gadget for anything. I put the toy back and sighed. Sometimes I wished I was a kid again. “Ohhhh Riiiichie!” I cringed, knowing full well what was behind me. I turned around to find Melissa and Celestia, the latter carrying a basket full of clothes. There were cheap dresses, jeans, and even some fancy looking t-shirts. I think I even saw one that had Celestia’s pony form on it. I smiled a smile of relief. “Done clothes shopping finally?” “You better believe it, Richie! Everything went through without a problem!” She said, getting closer to me and gave me a nudge in the stomach. “But you know Richie, you had nothing to worry about. After teaching her how to use a bra and such, she managed all by her lonesome.” She gave me a devilish grin. “She has some pretty big breasts too. It really puts mine to shame. Wanna know her measurements?” I immediately backed away, my cheeks red in embarrassment. “N-no I don’t. Damn it Melissa, are you doing this on purpose!?” I stammered but Melissa began laughing at my expense. Celestia gave a small cough and smiled. “My clothing preparations are taken care of. Although I do question why my image is on this t-shirt?” Melissa then slammed her fist into her palm. “Oh yeah, she did mention something about that. I knew her name sounded familiar! Why is she named after that Princess from that My Little Pony show?” ‘Shit…’ “Is she a fan or something?” Melissa asked. ‘Oh thank god, an opening to use!’ “Actually, she is. She really loves the character from the show, don’t you, ‘Celestia’?” I said, while adding a gritted tone on the word Celestia. Celestia blinked a couple times before thankfully catching on relatively quickly. “Oh! Er, yes, of course. I enjoy the show, so of course I have it as my, how do you say it… nickname?” Celestia said, stammering a little bit. Melissa wasn’t facing me, but instead was looking at Celestia. I gave her a firm nod, letting her know she did well. “Hmm… a fan huh? That’s really awesome!” she squealed, taking the opportunity to wrap Celestia in a quick hug. “I like the show myself, although not really into it that much. Good for an occasional watch though!” Melissa said happily. I gave her a nod and glared at Celestia when we broke eye contact. I motioned her to come here when I saw Melissa looking at the toy shelves. “You need to be more careful on what you say to people about your own persona.” I whispered. “It’ll bring up some questions that we can’t answer.” ‘Actually, remind me to give her a different name. That would solve a lot of them…’ “I apologize, Gerald, but as soon as I saw that piece of fabric with my own image, the words came out before I even realized I had said them. Why is my picture on some of these clothes anyway?” “Like I said, your world is a TV show to us. There is merchandise of it too; be it toys or clothing products. In fact…” I grabbed a random toy and showed it to her, without looking at it myself. “These kinds of toys are for collectors or for kids to play with. They hold a certain value depending if it’s rare, common, uncommon, or just a one of a kind toy, not to mention if the show was insanely popular or not. I’m sure you have toys where you come from as well.” Celestia stood there in silence, looking at the toy I was holding. She looked rather flabbergasted. She pointed a finger towards it. “Why am I pink?” I blinked, not following what she meant. I turned the toy around, but my finger slipped and hit a button. As soon as I did, a voice popped up from the toy the same time I got a good look at it. “~My wings are so pretty~” Pink Celestia, with pink hair, and something that didn’t even vaguely resemble her actual appearance stared back at me. Melissa looked at me when she heard that voice, curious. She then grabbed the toy from my hands and squealed in glee. “Ooh, they just got this toy in! It’s a shame Hasbro didn’t get the toy right. It looks so goofy.” She rotated it a few times before stopping, leaning in to get a closer look. “They could have at least made the hair plastic to get the colors right.” Melissa pressed the button on the toy to play that infernal voice-over. I honestly didn’t like it at all, and Celestia was still standing there paralyzed. I’d be paralyzed too if I saw such a horrible toy that was supposed to be me. “May I see that?” Celestia asked quietly. “Sure, help yourself!” Melissa said. After Melissa gave Celestia the toy, Melissa’s eyes found their way over to me before heading straight down. Then she gave a high-pitched squeal. “Eeek! Is that the new Justin Beiber CD!?” “Oh god no. Don’t tell me you like this idiot?” I said, annoyed. She squinted one eye at me, upset. “You use the internet too much, Richie. If you could just listen to him without all of that negativity, you can see he’s an amazing boy with an amazing voice!” “I think he’s an amazing hack who needs to burn in a fire…” I said negatively. “That’s not nice. If you hate him so much, why is it in your hand?” Melissa pointed out. I actually wondered this myself. I should have thrown it away by now, but something in my mind told me not to. In fact, I had a better idea. I placed the CD case in her hand, which earned her a confused look. “I don’t know, but you take it. I get the feeling he’ll haunt me in my sleep if I hold onto it for much longer.” Melissa went wide-eyed, staring at the CD in her hand, and then back at me. It’s like she just fell in love with an object. That would be pretty creepy, actually. Mostly because she might be able to pull it off, but still creepy nonetheless. “Really? You’ll let me keep it!?” Before I could say anything, Melissa gave me a big hug. I decided to return it by wrapping my arms around her waist. I could feel a tight squeeze around my neck. It got to the point where I couldn’t breathe anymore and patted her arm in submission. “Okay, uncle, uncle! Get off me. I can’t breathe!” She let go of me after hearing my plight for the sweet nectar known as air. I breathed in and out a couple of times as I shook my head. “Just because I’m giving it to you doesn’t mean I paid for it. I stumbled upon it by accident, alright?” “Aww… and here I thought you cared about me…” “I’m not caring enough to pay for a Justin Beiber CD… I am NOT going to support that kid!” Yes, I have some hatred in my heart reserved for that kid. While my rage may be rather dramatic at times, I just don’t like his music or the publicity this kid is getting. Sure, the kid got lucky with that record deal but that doesn’t mean I should give a damn. “~My wings are so pretty~” Melissa and I looked at Celestia, who was still messing around with the toy. Her hands were shaking and each time she pressed the voice-over button, she visibly grew more annoyed. I wondered what her problem was. I could have sworn I saw her hands shaking it, as if she was going to strangle it the next time it spoke about its wings. “I do not sound like this… whoever made this contraption obviously does not know who I am…” I heard her whisper under her breath. ‘Now that I can agree on…’ “Gerald.” Celestia began. “May we purchase this toy along with these clothes? I need to examine this device further.” I was a little confused on what she meant by examining the device further. I also thought that she probably wanted to play with herself. ….. Okay, too corny but it was still funny to me. I merely shrugged before grabbing the toy from her, and tossing it in the basket. “Alright Celestia, I think I can accommodate that. Let me check.” I patted my pockets for the unmistakable lump that was my wallet before pulling it out. I flipped it open to find that I somehow managed to not bring any cash with me. However, I noticed I still had my credit card. Thank god for that; I always had the habit of leaving my wallet or credit card in the car. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to sit down or walk around with lumps in each of your pockets? It’s awkward, and sometimes they chafe, but leaving something as valuable as a wallet unattended is an extremely bad habit. I’d just have to suck it up. That’s life, after all. I placed the wallet back in my pocket and nodded. “I’m all set. And Melissa, thanks for helping us out,” I said, giving out my hand for a handshake. She looked at it for a moment though, and decided to just come out and hug me instead. It was a little unexpected, but I returned the hug anyway. “No problem Richie, always happy to help. It’s my job, after all,” she said to me, before things took an awkward turn when she whispered into my ear. It sounded almost seductive. “I’ll be sure to call you later about her breast measurements, mkay?” I immediately backed away with a blush, my voice an octave higher. “Would you stop teasing me about her breasts!” I shouted. I didn’t realize how high my voice was, and I couldn’t help but go wide-eyed as I suddenly realized it. I looked around the toy aisle, seeing a couple of little kids and their parents eyeing me with disgust. Even Celestia was looking at me, but it was more on the lines of confusion than disgust. I thanked god that she doesn’t know what the big deal about breasts are yet, but the fact remained that I just embarrassed myself, big time. I placed my hand on my face. …Melissa, I hate you. ***** “What a day,” I mumbled to myself while fumbling with the keys to my car. After having that utter embarrassment thrown on me, my face was a burning shade of crimson the entire way from the toy section to the front cash register. Celestia attempted to ask me about what the big deal about her breasts was on the way there, but I immediately told her to keep it to herself until we got to the safety of the car. I said my goodbyes with Melissa after purchasing the clothes and the Celestia toy before taking the elevator down to the ground floor. While the clothes I had were in plastic bags, I didn’t feel like heading down the escalator. It also seems that Celestia developed a new phobia with elevators. She adamantly refused to set foot in one of those contraptions again for as long as she lived. I merely told her to get in, saying it was safe as long as I was around. “But Gerald, it tried to eat me!” “You just don’t know how to use it properly Celestia. Didn’t I say that I would make sure you wouldn’t come to harm? Just trust me, alright?” I exasperated. She was pretty hesitant at first, but after my reassurances, she hesitantly nodded, although she was still cautious of being surrounded by limited space of the elevator. I just pray she wasn’t developing claustrophobia, although that would be pretty ridiculous if she actually did. That, and since she had a natural weakness to technology, it was something to keep in mind for teasing ideas later. Speaking of technology, if she wasn’t scared of the elevator, she was certainly fascinated with the shiny buttons on the inside of the door. She looked at them curiously, asking me what each one represented; from the fire alarm all the way to keyhole meant for emergencies and maintenance. After that happened, we made our way to the car. I unlocked the car and threw the bags into the trunk, although Celestia insisted that she hold onto the toy. She claimed she wanted to examine it further. ‘What’s there to examine though? It’s just a bad replica of a toy that’s based on her.’ Once we both got into the car, I started it up after making sure our seatbelts were fastened. It didn’t take long to get us back on the main road after exiting the parking garage, but there seemed to be a lot of traffic on the road. It’s always the mornings that seemed to be the busiest, although I don’t see why it would be busy in the afternoon, especially since it was a weekend. After sitting at the same light for a few minutes due to the long line of cars in front of me, I realized it was a bit too quiet in the car. I looked over at Celestia who was going over the toy with a critical eye, but she seemed to be puzzled, mostly with the voice over from the toy. Admittedly, hearing the words ‘My wings are so pretty’ for the umpteenth time was eating away at my patience very quickly. She saw that I was looking at her and looked at me sternly. “Gerald, do you know why they made me Pink?” “I don’t really know. I guess they couldn’t afford coloring you white. Companies these days make some very weird decisions, sometimes to the point of insulting.” She looked back at the toy, rotating it slowly in her fingertips, as if studying ever single piece of plastic and strand of hair on it. She merely sighed. “No one has ever made toys of me before,” she said in a melancholy tone, ”and the one toy that I find here in this world is a complete misrepresentation. Do they not know who I am?” I raised a brow. “Apparently not, since they screwed it up.” “No Gerald, because I’m nothing but some product of their imagination!” She turned around and launched the toy at the backseat in a fit of rage before crossing her arms. “I’m nothing but an illusion for someone’s benefit and I feel used...” “Celestia, why would you feel that way?” “Because Gerald… they turned me pink! How do you think I feel?” “I think you’re beginning to lose it. Now come on, it’s not that bad. It’s just one toy. I’ve seen a couple of other toys online that look perfectly like you.” “On…line? What?” I bit my lip. I couldn’t let her discover the Internet just yet. Oh, I could only imagine what that would do to her fragile mind… I shook my head at her. “I mean I’ve seen other toys that got your look down to a T. Besides… you found a T-shirt that has your look down without a problem.” “I… suppose you’re right. But I still don’t see why they would do that to me.” she said, absentmindedly twirling some of her hair in a finger. ‘Trust me, neither do I… Now that I think about it, I don’t recall Celestia ever being like this in the show. She always seemed to be the calm and resourceful type. Maybe the fear of being alone in this world stripped of her power is getting to her? Still, acting like that from something as simple as a toy mistake is a bit cute and baffling. Also, I certainly can’t confirm if there are other ponies out there, except for that very questionable night on the IRC chat room. If only things were so easy to understand…’ I needed to calm her down, so I figured music would be the best thing. I flipped on the radio, only to be met with my most hated music yet. I covered my ears to block out that horrendous noise as I fumbled with the radio to shut it off or switch the station. I could see Celestia wasn’t enjoying the music either. Eventually, I managed to hit the power button and threw the car into silence once again. I glanced over at Celestia to be met with an extremely angry glare that rivaled the intensity of the sun. “What was that monstrosity just now!? Are you trying to deafen me!?” she shouted, although the ringing in my ears made it sound she was speaking at a normal volume. “No! I was trying to put on some music. Not my fault the radio stations around here give off crappy music.” “You have music in this world? And what is this ‘radio’?” “Yes, we have music in this world. I’m sure you’ve been to a few plays or musicals back in Equestria?” Celestia nodded in response. “Well, as long as you’re in range of one of the broadcasts, you can listen to music anywhere on something called a radio. In this case, it’s a car radio.” I decided to switch the radio to my CD player, since I do have a few personal favorites that are better than these crappy radio stations these days. I pressed Disc #3, hearing the CD load up. I could see Celestia ready to cover her ears, and I merely shook my head as I took her hands down. “Don’t worry, this music is actually good music.” After the CD loaded, a soft and tranquil melody filled the car. I saw Celestia go wide-eyed when she heard the peaceful melody. She closed her eyes as she gave a small smile, rocking her head along with the song. I’m not a big classical music kind of guy, but I always loved Moonlight Sonata from Beethoven. Something about the melody helps you relax, think, and enjoy what’s around you. A legendary man with legendary music. I don’t care if I’m in my 20s; people of this generation need to listen to better music than that Eminem crap, or those Jay Z whatsits. So much music is full of yelling, or their crappy personal lives, or a combination of both. Where’s the soul? Where’s the fun? Christ I missed the 90s… In the end, it’s all about the money, sadly. “This melody… it’s so beautiful.” Celestia mumbled. “Mm, not sure if you’ve ever heard of Beethoven. He’s a deaf composer back in the early 18th century who made wonderful music from just his instinct and love alone. Now granted, I’m not too familiar with his history, but I can say one true fact about him is that he revolutionized music. This song is my personal favorite, which is Moonlight Sonata. For a deaf person, he was magical… No homo, of course.” Celestia raised a brow at me. “No… homo? What?” “Er, nevermind.” ***** The rest of the way home,  we listened to classical music. She seemed to have quite an ear for it, humming along at some points. I was glad that she was so calm from hearing such good music. That reminded me that I should burn off more CDs that deal with classical. Although, it did make me wonder how she would react to Electronica, and by that, I don’t mean that Dubstep crap. Regardless, we managed to get home without much else happening. With the bags of clothes in one hand, my house keys in the other, and Celestia right next to me—whom was humming the Moonlight Sonata song—I opened the door, only to find Gordon in front of it, bowing. “Greetings sir, I take it the trip went well?” “Yes Gordon, it has. Celest—argh!” I was getting REALLY tired of biting my tongue repeatedly. I think my tongue hates me for saying her name over and over again. I saw that Gordon raised a brow at me, and I merely shook my head. “I’m fine, Gordon. Just been really tongue-tied lately.” “Indeed, I’ve noticed earlier this morning that it dealt with the young lady’s name?” Celestia looked at me after hearing Gordon’s words. “Is something wrong with my name?” I sighed. It was a matter of time before I had to tell her that, so after motioning all of us to head inside, I handed Gordon the clothes, telling him to go put them away. He gave a small nod before heading off. I sat on the couch and patted the space next to mine, inviting her to sit down. Once she did, I sighed again. It’s a shame that I did it so much, but days like these are just really crazy. “Celestia, we may need to call you something else.” “What? What is the matter with my name?” “I didn’t realize it until I saw the Celestia toy and the t-shirt. Your name is too mainstream, and with your unique hairstyle, I wouldn’t be surprised if some people thought you were the real Celestia. Although I think crazy fanboys would get this impression more so than others.” I said to her. Her face scrunched up in confusion. “Are you saying I can’t let any attention be focused on me?” “If we don’t want anything complicated to happen, yes. You saw how Melissa reacted to you when she finally realized where the name ‘Celestia’ came from. Do you want more people to go crazy on you like that?” Celestia was silent for a moment, but I kept on. “Also, I don’t want anyone to badmouth you either.” Celestia looked at me with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean?” “Let’s just say there are people out there who are cruel in this world. There are people who go obsessively bananas over ponies, and then there are people who resent it to an astonishing degree. I would prefer not to see you in any danger if you meet such people. You’re under my protection, after all.” Celestia tapped her chin for a moment. If she wanted to survive, I needed to take the necessary precautions. I’ve been a bit too lenient on her situation today and I need to step it up. Celestia nodded in agreement. “Alright, what name should I go by then?” I was about to open my mouth, but closed it a second later. I bit on my lip a bit, thinking. ‘Good point, what should I call her? It would need to be simple, elegant, but also sound beautiful and easy to use. Celestia is like four syllables long. Maybe I can shorten it somehow?’ I ran a couple name ideas in my head, anything starting with a C. Christine? No, that sounded too generic. Maybe Chris? Some women are named Chris, but it’s more of a masculine name than anything. I scratched my head, trying to figure out what name would be perfect for her. “Well, finding a name is harder than I thought Celes-ACK!” I didn’t know how many times I’ve bitten my tongue, but I think I tasted blood that time. “Are you okay Gerald?” “I’m fine, but saying your name is—wait a minute.” Before my tongue was bit, I realized that the name I had just said sounded really familiar. The name ‘Celes’. I stood up from the couch in realization. “Celes… Celes… That name sounds really good actually.” I mumbled to myself. The name even reminded me of Final Fantasy VI I used to play on my old SNES or GBA in this case. The name Celes sounded beautiful, elegant, classy, and I think the name wasn’t too common. Granted I’ve never heard of anyone in real life being called Celes but hey, it was a good start. Plus, it was still part of her name, albeit only two syllables; it seemed to flow on the tip of my tongue well. I looked at her with a smile. “Celestia, how does the name ‘Celes’ sound to you?” “Celes? It… sounds like half my name.” she stated obviously. “Yes, but it’s more simple, and I think it’s a suitable nickname for you.” “Well… I’m not sure.” “Well, give it some thought, alright? And if you have a better name, just let me know.” All that was left was for her to think about it. When my eyes averted away from her though, I noticed someone near the corner of the hallway before whoever it was shirking away. I raised a brow. ‘Was that my imagination, or was Gordon eavesdropping on my conversation?’ ***** The rest of the day was rather uneventful and revolved around staying inside the house. Celestia was busy trying on her new clothes, and I think I heard some rather weird noises from her room when I checked up on her once. I even heard some giggling, especially the toy’s voice-over. I don’t know what went on, but I don’t think I wanna know. It was night time soon enough, and I laid in my bed, wondering what would take place tomorrow. Alas, I couldn’t go to sleep just yet. I still had some curiosity in my brain to sate. Logging into the IRC channel on my laptop, I took a look around at the chatroom, to see if there was any juicy information; in other words, anything dealing with the pink skies or the fudge smell. Anything would do at this point. However the IRC chat was mostly just about best ponies and how someone dove into a tank of instant Jello. Sounds like a ripoff of Ed, Edd and Eddy, but whatever, nothing notable happened. I still didn’t run into Belgarion either. It’s like he just disappeared. I waited a couple hours to see if anything would turn up, but the search was pointless. I merely sighed as I rubbed the temples of my head, frustrated. ‘Clues to the whereabouts of any ponies… Thinking about it a little bit, if Celestia was captured in that blinding light, would it make sense for others to show up too? But there’s so much evidence I’d need to gather to prove that theory true. Just having Celestia doesn’t cut it. I can’t go in blind, believing everything I hear, after all.’ In the end, I just shut off my laptop and went to sleep, awaiting another day of randomness to occur. ***** April 15th, 2012 I was awoken with a very sudden chill around my head and body. In fact, calling it chilly was an understatement; it was ice cold. I sprung up in shock to find Gordon next to me holding a tin bucket that dripped with water. I looked at myself and saw that I was completely soaked from the torso up, especially my bed. If anyone took it out of context, they’d have thought that I'd peed in the bed, but it didn’t matter. I was pissed. I shouted at Gordon. “What the hell, Gordon!? Why did you do that!?” “To wake you up, sir.” “With a bucket of freezing water!? Has that bald spot finally gotten to your brain!? I’m freezing like a penguin here!” I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand and growled. “And to top it all off, it’s 6 AM too!” “No sir, this is actually a premeditated wake up that I decided to use. For you see, we have a problem.” “Huh?” I blinked, holding my shivering body. I couldn’t exactly think straight since I had been rudely woken up, so my brain was still a bit slow on the uptake. “What are you talking about?” “What I am talking about, is that I have a problem with your decision to keep the young lady here.” “Wha…?” If I didn’t believe my ears, I could have sworn he just said he had a problem with Celesti—er, I mean Celes. But the way he looked at me, the calm demeanor and the way his brow furrowed… I could see what it symbolized; Determination, resolution, and downright getting to the bottom of things, without taking any shit from me. I hoped that this was all just a bad joke on his end, and we would just laugh it all away. But no, his next words made it very, very real… “I am challenging you to a match of Fisticuffs, young sir.”